Is Gouri rit to search job for Jogia?

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Tanya

@vishwa19

Navigator

Posted: 13 years ago

#31

It depends actually...with what intentions a wife searches jobs for her husband ?😕

I am not really sure what would gauri's actual intentions will be ?

But I guess shes just doing it to get rid of jaggu's jhik jhik and irritability !!😉

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Sania

@SRKLuvr

Stunner

Posted: 13 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: ankit111
I discussionsar Excellent Antara, this video also show tht, how she was happy, with this offer, tht she can study. But wo kya hai, some people Sui, stuck with one point, Bhairaw told, Money throw, self respect etc, without seeing the reality. Bringing childhood trauma to justify everything, when tht trauma, never become a obstacle in her life. It was never shown any traumatized symptoms till she decided to marry with a cheater, to just justify her own action. We hv also seen her GREAT SELF RESPECT, how it change according to convenience, but as these things r necessary to justify her, so people bring these things, again and again in discussion😆

Really??? How about that day in the college when she burst out about how she hated child marriages what about when she entered haveli first time after finding out the truth? Her flashbacks her shaking did you all not notice that? What about her yelling at Jogia when he comes to her village after she finds out about him?

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Nazneen

@SiriuslySujal

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#33

I think she's just doing it to help him out... not out of pity or anything, but just 'cause she cares about him and wants him to be happy and successful. Which is more than can be said for Mr. "Main tumhari taraki se jalta hoon" Jagat. Gauri may have her faults, but I think she's a more caring partner in the relationship than Jagat, who's only caring/sweet/romantic when he knows it will benefit him in some way.

Probably some part of her wants him to stop being irritable and slobbish around the house too, but that's only natural, I think... no-one wants to live with an irritable slob! xD

Edited by SiriuslySujal - 13 years ago

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Sunaina

@coolkitty_23

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#34

In a marital relationship, the man might be physically more stronger than the woman. But if his ego is much larger than his heart is, clearly the relationship is not about the "us" and "we" factor, its more about the "me" and "I" factor for the man. And it could very well be true still in a many parts of the world/country, but in today's world, the hypocrisy of how the society or the person it self reacts when a man is searching a job for a woman or vice versa, is just appalling. The ego is nothing but all-encompassing and Jagya is a perfect example of that. His self worth has diminished because, he singlehandedly shot it down himself! Why blame Gouri, when he could not stand up for ANYONE? Not himself, not his family. Yes she manipulated him to no end, and what did he do, let her toy around with him. If he is feeling she is more accomplised and earning more than he is , well, boohoo Jagya, you screwed up your life, by not being mature enough to understand the value of relationship, career and life.
~Naina.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#35

I havent had a chance to go through this interesting discussion yet -- I love it though! 😆😆

My only thoughts as of now, as I do a quick drive-by on the forum, is that Bhairon's secret help to gauri and Gauri's secret help to Jagya are not comparable.

What Bhairon extended to gauri was "compensation for an injury caused" -- a compensation that was unilaterally decided and not mutually decided upon. Bhairon was not a benevolent benefactor who 'adopted' Gauri's educational responsibilities because she was a good student and he wanted to sponsor her for a scholarship. I do believe that the underlying intention of the funding matters. And though now it can be said "oh look bhairon could have walked away from it and there was no court-order that asked him to comply with funding gauri's education, he did it voluntarily, and hence he is such a great man", I dont buy it.

In any case, I believe that what Gauri (or anyone in her situation) would want is not money thrown at them as compensation, but restoration of their honour. The singh family stripped gauri's parents and gauri of their honour. And being rich people they got off scott free.

Now before people start sniggering and saying "what honour do gauri's parents have" - I believe everyone has dignity and that dignity should be upheld despite their economic status. I strongly believe that in their poverty ridden circumstances, they were trying their best in the way they knew how to provide for their daughter. Now it may not be my way of providing the best for my daughter, and it may not be your way. But those of us who sit in airconditioned homes and offices with certain luxuries around us, cannot and should not condemn Gauri's parents way. They were told by the supreme head of the family (dadisa) that the first beendhni was pagal, and would soon be packed away to her maika, and that gauri would be the second beendhni but dadisa gave the assurance that there would not be two beendhnis -- gauri would be the only beendhni.

Now after the head of the singh family gives such an assurance, this obviously seemed like a way to assure that gauri married off into a rich family so that her future is settled in terms of having three square meals a day and good clothes -- living the kind of life that gehna now enjoys. We may argue from our vantage point that gauri' s parents never thought of her education etc. etc. blah blah blah, but give me a break... I really dont think that giving girl children education and keeping them unmarried until 18 is a very socially viable option for communities which are rooted in their own traditional mores. It is a desirable social goal and a government mandate, but difficult to inculcate in mindsets. So gauri's parents did the best of what they could given their cultural, economic and social surroundings and conditions.

Gauri on the other hand is not trying to compensate Jagya for any injury. He keeps complaining that he wants to work in SNG or a luxury hospital, and since he wants it, she is doing that as a gesture to him of helping him achieve his dreams. There is no subterfuge involved in terms of "righting a wrong". I dont see anything wrong in what she has done -- and if secretly done, that too is nothing wrong given Jagya's big fat male ego. Is she trying to force something on Jagya that he doesnt want for himself? No. He wants it and she is helping him. She is not stripping him of his honour or his dignity.

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ankit111

@ankit111

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: SRKLuvr

Really??? How about that day in the college when she burst out about how she hated child marriages what about when she entered haveli first time after finding out the truth? Her flashbacks her shaking did you all not notice that? What about her yelling at Jogia when he comes to her village after she finds out about him?

Really she is traumatized becoz she hate child marriage or she is traumatized becoz she was deprived from child marriage status?? She also told Jogia tht she will not even befriend with a cheater but she married with one. So she contradict herself, so naturally u hv to contradict ur self in her defense 😆

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woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

tinoo, I agree with you on many points but disagree on some.

1. I agree Bhairon's help and Gauri's help are not comparable. One reason being Bhairon's help is a kind of a compensation done, though not under compulsion, while Gauri's help is more of a spousal matter. However, I think what Ankit finds comparable is not the help itself, but the notion of keeping it secret. Now why did Bhairon keep it secret? He had already declared it in front of the open panchayat about his intentions, so there was nothing to hide. The only logical reason I find why Bhairon requested bade papa not to publicize it is because he was being sensitive about Gauri's family. They were already bruised, they could have done without being rubbed with Bhairon coming and saying----"Here I am Bhairon Singh, here is the money I had promised. Keep a note of this, I am keeping my promise. I am here to remind you that I will be funding your daughter for the rest of your life. I will be here every month to drop the money so that you keep remembering me for the charity I am doing for you."

Bhairon did not need to proclaim his presence in the whole matter and I think it's extremely sensitive of him to do so. What he had in his mind is Gauri's ulterior good, Similarly, by doing the same thing of hiding her help for Jagat Gauri for once is being sensitive. Gauri's ulterior motive is to find Jagat a job, that's the main priority, letting Jagat know that she deserves credit for it is not. So in that way Bhairon and Gauri are very similar in desiring for the ultimate result even if the mean is subtle.

2. I do not agree on your comment that daughter selling is acceptable solely for an economic reason. Let us not stereotype all economically marginal communities and pass a general statement that all poor men feel compelled to sell their daughters only because of their materialistic conditions. Like the rich, upper classes, poor people too are diverse, with diverse moral compasses. In a nutshell, there are devious poor people and good poor people---let us not categorize poor people as an infantile group who are unilaterally angelic and do bad deeds only because of their class. So I would like to take Gauri's parents case as an act of choice rather than a norm of poor classes, precisely because of two reasons:

i) There was another equally poor farmer shown in the serial itself who Dadisa convinces to sell his daughter. He flatly refused after knowing Jagya's marital status, declaring, we might be poor and in dire need of money but that does not mean we just trade off our daughter in such a horrible alliance.

ii) In real life too, maltreatment of daughters do not always arise from solely economic reasons. It also depends on individual choices and societal beliefs that cannot be grossly generalized. Anandi's parents are extremely poor too---but I find them unusually supportive of their daughter. Yes, socio-economic factors play a huge role in the maltreatment of the daughters, but saying that all poor people find it compelling to sell their daughters every time they have a financial crisis is gross stereotyping. There were economic factors---agreed. But there was also a matter of choice.

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

Tinoo Iam not sure if you watched those episodes when ds looked for beendini but she did not say she will pack anandi away to her maayka rather she said that she will take care of her because she saved her grandsons life but, she cannot ignore her grandsons need for a wife so for his betterment she will get him married again.

Now I agree about us not knowing about how the poor people are and what decisions they might take to get rid of that poverty but, the ends does not justify the means. A person cannot kill another person because he is hungry... Do people do that? Yes of course,they steal, kill or do any other immoral act to satistfy their basic needs but that does not make their actions right.

Dadisa did wrong to that family' to anandi , to Bhairav to Sumitra and to jagya as well at that time including gauri's family.

Ok so what did the other members of the family do once they found out?

They reacted accordingly and got justice to the best of their ability.

Even gauri was happy with the decision , what does a child know about social problems? By Bhairav took that responsibility...so much so that he even paid for her clothings and other needs.

The honor that you are talking about which was stripped by Singh family, well.. Wasn't their honor also stripped because the so called head of the family made a marriage selling deal , with out the knowledge of the grooms father and mother? And this was exposed in front of many villages in maha panchayat?

A person who sells his body for prostitution willingly cannot complain about his honor being lost but yes he can definitely complain about the condition that led him to that.

In this case Dadisa wronged gauri and her family and Gauri's parents wronged gauri. They are equally responsible.

So yes Bhairav, who was unaware of this, whole ordeal tried to do the best he could...and was successful. And yes he is a great man because he accepts his mistakes and tries to rectify them ..unlike gauri And her parents who refuse to agree that they wronged a girl called anandi for their own selfish and greedy reasons.

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ankit111

@ankit111

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#39

I m surprised to see, whn people criticize Bhairaw such a noble work and justifying the daughter selling act on the name of majboori. This is absolutely ridiculous for me. No one hv even replied, Wht Bhairaw sad hv done in tht situation. He cd not rewind the situation back. So Wht he sad hv done. Keep Gouri as second BV or Wht? Whenever this question is asked, the only reply is ,I m not concern Wht he sad do😆 so it means people r only concern to criticize a noble action. For me Bhairaw deed the best things, any kind hearted, justice loving person cd do. And instead of praising him, we r portraying him as if he has done some crime to hurt the SELF RESPECT people, whose self respect doesn't hurt, whn they sell their daughter, it also not hurt, whn they throw their ladly to die on the mercy of thesame people ,who ruined their daughter life, whose self respect doesn't hurt, whn they die for ashirwaad of the same people who ruined her life (according to her),and finall whose self reaspect doesn't hurt, whn she demand share the property of the same people😆😆 Very unique self respect must say.