Blackmail or quid pro quo? - Page 4

Originally posted by: SRKLuvr

OK...but my qustion is - WOULD they have reacted to Jogia in the same way? Would they have still broken relations with him?

Originally posted by: hooked

How can I answer that ? That wud have to depend on CV's wish. 😆

All I can say is - if the breakup was more graceful and not so full of deceit and treachery and greed too - maybe J wud not have been kicked out of their hearts too as he has now been ostracized.

J has not been kicked out only for wanting another girl. J has also been shown to be super selfish and Anandi has been shown to be super nice - to the extent that both extremes seem a little impractical.Irrespective - a lot of the anger towards J is also bcoz of the way G behaves with all of them and the way J lets G behave.

The right question shud be - wud J still be Kicked out if G was not such a supra Bi$ch ! A lot of the resentment against J is purely due to G's reckless, mannerless and highly insulting and repulsive behaviour.

Originally posted by: hooked

Originally posted by: tinoo

Hi SRKLuvr,

yes, my thought process is based on irritation with the singhs.

I think they are taking the whole thing too too far.

Yes, Jagya has made very serious mistakes in the way he handled his affair and subsequent marriage with gauri.

and

Yes, he did turn down their hospital which they had hopes and aspirations for him to run.

But, I think that a lot of these mistakes came to pass because he felt suffocated in the environment that his parents were providing him -- a child marriage and a hospital.

I mean it would only be appropriate if sumitra and bhairon had made a contract with him before he was born saying "you will abide by everything we say, marry whom we choose and do work in Jayetsar only" and he had agreed to it.

It's not like children choose to come into this world. Parents foist life on to them. And therefore, children are not under obligation to do *exactly* what parents want, nor are they obligated to carry them for old age etc...unless they want to and feel good about caring for their parents. That compulsion should not be there.

Obviously every human being craves some degree of freedom and has their own bent.

I can understand the initial silent treatment meted out to jagya, but stretching it out on a life long basis seems a little too much for me.

If bhairon is now saddled with anandi's responsibility of finding a groom, then very good!! After all, he did do the child marriage despite being an educated responsible man in society. It is not that he was in support of child marriage. He was just spineless to stand up to his mother/dadisa.

He is 80% responsible for anandi's state today. Jagya can be 20% responsible.

Bhairon making faces all the time, glaring at him with contempt filled eyes makes me sick. I really dislike it.

Originally posted by: hooked

Tinoo - You can have your own ideas on what a child can expect of his/her parents in terms of

- no choice in being born

- no choice in customs of the land (ie - bal vivah)

- no choice in the finances of the house (rich or poor)

- no choice in the kind of parents on gets (ie - Gauri's wonderful Mom)

But the way things work atleast in old cultures - and I mean India specifically when I say so - is that

A Parent usually provides the best he can for the kid and loves and cares and provides for them till they get married. At the same time - they also care for their old parents and keep them involved - thus setting an example for how the aged need to be kept close, respected and cared for. The aged in turn - provide guidance and foresight if they see something going wrong. Other times they provide extra love and affection to the kids coz parents can sometimes feel a little rushed and impatient.

Here - Jagya was given whatever any other kid in that position wud be given in similar circumstances. Most kids then got married at 8-10 yrs in those villages so Bhairon cannot be said to have "purposely ruined J's life". Bhairon lives with his mom and respects her and her decisions.

Jagya

- chose to follow a profession of his liking

- chose to move away to pursue his dream

- chose to try to fit in the new place by hiding his background

- chose to return affections of another girl KNOWING he was not single.

- chose to keep mum to his GF, wife n parents about this dilemma

When finally it all tumbled out and G threatened to leave - he chose to marry her w/o even consulting a lawyer or informing his parents or wife.

And now - having done nothing but take take take from his family - he wants them to gift him a huge section of the properety that he has done nothing to look after or maintain ?

He has not even bothered to be respectful to his parents or care for their pain and has just hung his head everytime he wanted to be accepted ?

Why wud I like my own child if I can see he likes me only for what I can give more ? Bhairon shud threaten to drag J's sorry ass to jail for bigamy.

I have no complaints with G this time - as she is a rank outsider. She is just an instigator - the stupidity of accepting her logic lies with J and he shud suffer the consequences of his line of thought and actions.

Being my own person with my own choices and my own free will is all very well but only after you have dealt with your due obligations. True - u don't get to chose yr circumstances but that is life. He was not born an orphan and thus he has to cater to the family that bore him. He is from a Village in India and he just has to deal with it.

He is NOT in US or any other place where expectations from kids are a little different. There - parents too don't provide very much except a loving household till you're a teen. You have to get your own college loan and in school times, work for your pocket money. There no one sends you money for sustenance of your married life and pregnant girl friend either.

Originally posted by: SRKLuvr

I can't think...I mean do the Singhs mean either stick to the marriage we made for you in childhood or we will disown you? I am just trying to figure out whether they would have been nicer about it cos didn't Jogia tell Bhairav that he wanted to marry Gauri much before they married also? But Bhairav reacted by disowning him. Was it due to the fact they didnt know before and he had in a way cheated them for five years or was it due to the fact that he no longer wanted to be with Anandi.

Originally posted by: hima_123

I think by 21 --he should be in 3rd/4th year of medicine...which is the legal age for a guy to become mature.--Jagya had decided by 21 that he loves Gauri, not Anandi. We have not been shown whether it was fear or ignorance--which led him to not nullify his marriage. Definitely it was not that he wanted to sleep with Anandi !!

We are not shown why Jagya had not exercised his option to nullify marriage. Yes, he consummated his marriage when he was 18 years old. But again, an 18 years old boy is not major when it comes to marriage. Parents who are facilitating sexual intercourse for a minor are definitely responsible.

Jagya had the right to go ahead with Gauri and live his own life in Mumbai...even when he had consummated his child marriage. His parents seem quite oblivious to any person's individual rights.

Jagya is not the most righteous person...but Bhairav is too rigid and stuck up.