JETSAR TIMES: terrorist activities in Jetsar - Page 6

OMG hilarious posts 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

enjoying the JT again. good to see it back. 😃

Dear Editor ji

We got the information that now Badi haveli people are searching a groom for Anandi. any information on that??😊

niharika: why the blank post? Were you trying to post something and it didn't come along?

The Jetsar Border Patrol force has been gurading Jetsar's boundaries for weeks together to stop the infiltration of shameless immigrants. Earlier Jestar's borders have been breached by many illegal, unwanted, harrassing refugees who have especially targeted the badi haveli. Jagya and Gauri's name had been blacklisted as the most dangerous of all refugees and a special vigilance team was formed to keep an eye on their activities lest they try to cross Jetsar's border again. The team has sent a report today morning that Gauri and Jagya has been seen near the borders of Jetsar riding a red maruti. However, officials are a little confused about Gauri's attire which resembles her bridal attire when she had first entered the haveli. When they detained Gauri, she told them that she is dressed up like a bride because this time she is entering the haveli as a proper legal bahu, so she wants to finish her nayee bahu rasms that were left incomplete last time. Gauri was also seen to carry a bag of rice, khoya, kaju, kismis and milk with her. When asked she said, "I will make kheer for the Singh family this time as a nayee bahu again. However, since I have my immense self respect, I will not touch the Singh family's kitchen ingedients, I am carrying my own ingredients so that nobody can call me using Singh's money." "But what about some sugar? You are not carrying any"!! "Oh I will not put sugar in my kheer, last time they rejected it because it was too sweet, so I will make them eat unsweetened kheer", said a smug Gauri.


When asked the real reason for their visit to Jetsar, Jagya and Gauri replied that they are making this trip for the cause of humanity. Gauri said "There are so many poor people in our country who cannot afford medical care. We are going to build a hospital with our share of the property. We are samaj sevaks, we will lay our lives for humanity." When our reporter asked her if she will feel repulsed to take Singh money, Gauri angrily said, "Oh yes, I absolutely hate to touch Singh's filthy money. Their money is dirty to the core and no self-respecting woman can touch their money without feeling repulsed. So I wash their money in Tide washing soap for a chamakti dhamakti clean feel and hang it out on my clothesline for drying. Once the notes are dry, only then I use them, not before that ."

While Gauri was doing most of the talking we found Jagya busy in searching for something in his bags and pockets. When asked, he said with a worried expression, "I am searching for my shame and brains. Last time I left Jetsar, I had both of them with me and thought I will have them for the rest of my life. But I have lost them on my way to Jetsar. Please do let me know if you find them. Seems like it's another of Anandi's plots to steal my assets from me." Should we tell them we saw his brains hidden in Gauri's dupatta? As for his shame, well nobody knows where exactly it is, or whether it existed at all in the first place!!!

JT,

We lend our moral support to exposed villagers of Jetsar. We pray their peaceful life may escape the turbulence that unfortunate Badi Haweli are poised to suffer-in the path of that impending tornado nicknamed Gaga-as forecast in your above mentioned report. Can't the inhabitants be shifted to some safer place until calamity decides to turn back? Or have the loose dark forces resolved to grab the victims any how? In that case, can 'Zen-forgiving' Sarpanch sahiba be provoked enough to exercise only restraining power that neo terrorists may be able to understand? This time, once and for all...Waiting with a concerned mind, your next report.

Originally posted by: ankit111

After the news article, we confused abt the meaning of self respect, so we tried to contact Pizza madam to clear our confusion. fortunately at 2 am, on whn she came out from disco of sukhi night club, we caught her for few min😆.

reporter - Gouri jii, first of all congratulations for the new job.

G - Thanx. now i can afford my nikamma MBBS husband and can give him three time fooding for his house keeping job. i m so relax.

reporter - we heard tht u asked Jogia to demand his share in the haweli property. dosnt it hurt ur SELF RESPECT. as we heard earlier tht u were very much offended whn Bhairaw Singh helped u anonymously, becoz u find thm him responsible for TRAUMATIZED life😆

G - Anonymously, tht is the point. of cource it will hurt my SELF RESPECT. how he dare to value my SELF RESPECT without asking me😡 atleast he sd ask hv asked me how much my self respect cost. ye kya bat hui jitna marzi kiya dam lagaya aur paisa bhej diya😆 i was trying to enter the haweli, trying hard to be accepted as ONLY wife of Jogia, the only waris of haweli and capture the whole property and here he just financed me for study. it will naturally hurt my self respect. as i realised tht my entry is impossible, so i decided to ask Jogia to demand his share.

Reporter- we hv also heard tht u both hv seperate accounts and dont touch each other money.

Gouri - of cource i dont touch his money, i just give him list to buy all things and i keep my money save in my own account. as he buy everything for me, so i even dont need to touch his money😆 if he will get the share from haweli, i will ask him to sell all property and open a huge hospital here in Mumbai. this way i will not touch his money and MY SELF RESPECT will be untouched too😆😆

now sorry my husband hs been waiting bhukha at home. so i hv to hurry nahin to bechara bhukhe so jayega and i dont want tht he will become weak. u know he sd gain enery to shout at haweli people for his share and i know its need very much energy😆😆

Originally posted by: woman11

niharika: why the blank post? Were you trying to post something and it didn't come along?

Yeah I was trying to post an image but its not coming 😭 so I'll try to figure it out and repost it...sorry for repeat post

Gawari Mata's Disco Avtaar

All bhaktjan's pay ur respect by doing disco and eating Pizza

oh my god neha!, Gawariji looks like a creep in this picture. I am really sorry for all those people who were in disco at that time. Do you guess anyone could handle it???

Originally posted by: ashahai_aamanke

That was so really awesome, I will show this to my nanima in the morning and let you know. She despises jagaaat more than cockroaches. Bet you would make her day!! Thanks a lot. You are a ⭐️ reporter!!

@pjyo,

Sorry for the delay. My nanima is on cloud nine watching this. After a long time i saw her laughing out like that. Thanks so much yaar. She is very old and is not keeping well these days but your "gau-sa ka jhatka haa jhooro se laaga! shadhe karke chod deya tho milgaye sajja" was super. mera nanima ka ashirwaad hai tere pe!
Thanks a lot again! lage raho!!!!