Originally posted by: Suchi-NivReniac
Anandi a doormat?
wow! amazing.
Tomorrow if she becomes the minister even then she will be a doormat, why?she did not punish jagya..
She does not want to give a hoot about Jagya.
She wants him to live his life and her, her own!
I feel bad for Anandi that no matter how much success she might achieve in her life , she will be still judged by 'jagya's influence' in her life.
Suchi, I really had to think about this post of yours. How would I feel if anandi became chief minister of rajasthan and did not punish jagya ? how would i feel if anandi became prime minister and did not punish jagya?
I think I would still see her as a doormat.
To me -- all these are different buckets -- career, intellectual, personal life, health etc. etc.
and success or achievement in one field does not compensate for (or vice versa take away from) success or achievement in another field.
If she became chief minister of rajasthan, i would applaud her for that achievement and still view herself as a doormat when it comes to her personal life.
(This is just me -- others may have other lenses where success/achievement in one area compensates for problems/lack of achievement in other areas - but I dont.)
So, in my vocabulary, a doormat doesnt necessarily have to be someone who does nothing with her life but sits in dadisa's dark cowshed just padding themselves with their grief and sorrow.
I have been angry with five things about anandi initially
1. Her insistence on sending him money and getting into the middle of this with bapusa.
2. Her insistence on NOT sending him to jail
3. Her insistence on NOT retorting to Gauri's insults
4. Her insistence on pandering to Jagya all the time -- including those ridiculous requests for fruits and daliya when gauri came to the haveli and collapsed when her pregnancy was revealed.
5. Finally, her once in a while sadness scenes where she sits on the swing and wonders if there is a slight chance that her jagya will ever come back to her.
in previous discussions with you, I gave up my anger for points # 1 and # 2 because you very rightly pointed out that in her deepest of hearts she does blame herself for jagya drifting away and not meeting up to his standards/image of what a wife should be. So, then she sees herself as the reason that he drifted away from his family too.
Also, you said that she saw Jagya as much a victim of child marriage as she was...so she was reluctant to put him in jail.
Fair enough.
Then, she doesnt want to stoop to Gauri's level -- so she does not retort to Gauri. Fair enough so my anger at # 3 also flew out the window.
But now, the non-engagement factor does not work for me in # 4 and # 5 -- because i dont like the fact that she pines away for him still after all the insulting behaviour he exhibited with her. It might be one thing to pine away for him if he had decently left her by formally coming and breaking it off... but he was so indecent he walked in with gauri hand in hand, and that is how she came to know that now it was "officially" over. Why does she still pine away for him ? I dont understand. Why call him to tell him that she is the sarpanch. Why call him to tell him about Phooli's child.
Also, even if she is non-engaged what was that whole thing about making fruits and porridge for gauri etc. ? Could she not have stayed aloof and just gone on about her business and prepared for her adult education class etc. without giving them a second glance.
Her behaviour does not look like someone who doesnt give a hoot.
These are the issues which I consider doormat behaviour, more aggravating when jagya proudly proclaims to gauri every now and then "anandi mere saath aisa kuch bhi nahin karegi -- woh meri khilaaf kabhi case nahin karegi"
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
