poor guy new patient - Page 5

As for the tag of "home-breaker" Sridevi is definitely called a home-breaker and this tag is applied to women only. It's sad to see that men often are not at all brought in this scenario and we talk about a woman breaking woman's home. While in reality, it's the man who breaks his own home for a third person.

ANS 1)- i agree its only applied 2 a women & men r gen not tagged though they requally responsible & idn't even spare J & not oders r sapring him. hes getting bashed by all!! but just bcoz G is woman & its always women gets the tag give g kind of women 2 go scot free of the blame & not 2b bashed!!if eralier it was women who were luke ddown upon then now its men who r sumtimes made scapegoats sumtime sin the name of demanding dowry or sumtimes G kind of women portray themsleves as victim!!
First of all what is a home and how can a third person break someone's home? If someone is committed to his/her relationship and makes a perfect home, how can a third person breaks it?

ANS2) i agree no1 can break oders home like u r saying like commitment etc. but still wen sum1 make u go away from ur family or marriage then its called breaking!! and on the logic of this that no1 can break if sum1 is commited then why G is insecure abt her relationship & keeps on blaming A 2 lure away J. if J is so commited 2G then she shud've get confidence on him by now

As you said that ek haat se taali nehi bajti, so G is also responsible for breaking J's home. Well - if she would not have married to J and "break" his home, what kind of home would A got? J would continue his negligence and his hatred towards A would have grown more if he had not got G.

ans3) i agree abt "wat type of home" but does it reduce G's role in it ?? no. i m not saying That refusal by g wud'd made her rightous as just bcoz of it she can't b termes as rightous. and how can u say it wud'd turned out 2 b worse if G'dn't married her?? we never know wta type of consequences will occur of our actions thatswhy intention behind it decides abt rightousness

I have talked about the "piece of paper" because that's what we are talking about. Why are we putting so much emphasis on the fact that G is not legally married to J and is staying with him in spite of knowing her status.
no1 is putting so much emphasis on it. ppl r discussing it as time & again G is telling that A is oder woman.and even in the show only J said as piece of paper & 4 G it ha svalue thatswhy 2get divorce from A she has the audacity of making that indecent proposal of ckt assassination 2 J!!

Piece of paper does make things legal and illegal. I am going to be illegal immigrant in US if I don't have proper visa or green card, but everything will be fine once I got the papers right.

Similarly,

if tomorrow J gets the courage and seeks for divorce and finally marries G, everything will be legally alright.
this is wat all wanted/s atleast most of the viewers whether A or g supporters!

its not only her single misdeed.she has done so man ymistakes. wow wat areason sh ecan't tolerate A & jealous of A thatswhy shes justified. it means i don't like sum1 whos gud 2 me my hatred 4 that prsn is justified.

and no1 is asking her 2 praise A openly & shes getting bashed bcoz of her unwanted hatred 4 A & trying 2blittle A even in front of J!! thatswhy she ran off 2 J 2 convey the news of A's "Elopement

This is one problem of BV - whoever has loved A or is fond of her, his/her misdeeds are easily forgotten and they are glorified like anything in the serial.
Bhairon, Sumitra, DS, Phooli's parents- everyone has committed serious mistakes and has broken laws. But they are portrayed in such a manner that they have easily earned viewer's sympathy. Anyways, that's another topic of discussion.
no1 is spared. yes CVs didn't show much against DS or phooli's parents. but Bhairon or sumitra intentionally didn't harmed any1. even they did "bal-vivah' acc. 2 the traditions prevalent there but atleast they try 2 rectify their mistakes by treating A as their own. and abt phooli's parents i think they'd got the punishment. u r asking 2 give harsh punishment 2 bharion etc. whose intentions were not harm A or any oder innocent prsn but G shud b get off scot free bcoz shes a woman & always portaryed as a victim!! gud 1 1st u play the -ve role & then try 2 cash it a sbeing a victim bcoz of ur being woman!!

As far her decision to be with J - I know it's her weakness - but I don't think she should not have married J just for A. It would not have been any solution for A. For her own sake, G should not have agreed to be with J.

i agree not just 4 A but 4 herself she shudn't'd married J. but i m talking of rightousness of her action & her intentions behind such action. its 4 the sake of not just humanity but even 4women 4 whom empowerment she always "dum bharing" or makde tall claims. but the moment her life involve dall her ideals "gaye tel lene"!!

If G would have left J only after knowing her illegal wife status, she would have been called selfish. May be you would not have called her selfish and would have praised her, but there are many people who would have called her G a selfish woman because she left J only for her own reason and did not think about A in the first place. J would have been showered with all the sympathy for doing so much for G and yet receiving such treatment from her. Don't you know our patriarchal society? 🥱

though i don't think in gen even society wud'd called her selfish barring sum coservatives/ fanatical patriachal prsn. but u can't make happy all the ppl all the time. and its only our humane approach which made actions rite also & oders esply selfish & fanatic patriarchal system supporter can't b satisfied

I would never like to see J getting any kind of sympathy at the cost of G.

same here!! bcoz more than G i want J 2 suffer. bcoz hes the 1st party & G is 2nd party in this sin & crime!!
For Gauri, J's concern and care is utmost importance as we have seen in Friday's episode. She just forgets that J lies to her, J has not given their relationship a legal status, J talks to the family in the middle of the night.

But at least G has tried to point out J's mistakes to him no. of times - we have seen no. of times G shouting at J for his mistakes.

But J's fitrat has not changed. G's shouting matches has only made J aware that he can't do anything just like that and cant' treat G like a dirt as he did with A. So he is doing things secretly.
but does shouting helped her or blaming A has helped her. it ha sonly lowered her not just in oders eyes but also in her own eyes

Ans1 - No one can make someone leave a family/ near ones. Specially, in cases like infidelity, the onus is completely on the person who is leaving the near ones.

We can say that the third person should think about the well being of everyone and can move away from the scene. But does that make any difference to the family in the long run? Specially in cases like JA where J has rejected A and had thought that A is not fit for him. I have already explained what A would have faced even if G left the scene.

Sometimes, if the other man/woman leaves the scene, the marriage might get saved, but I am telling you, the marriage gets saved just before the society. The crack that is being made, remains. The partner who committed infidelity, most of the time, stays in the marriage for lack of opportunity. That is pure selfishness.

More importantly, in JG case, she has not seduced/forced J to run after her. J himself ran after her and even if she would have rejected him, it would not have made any difference to JA relationship.

JA's home was already broken. May be for lack of opportunity, J would not have sought divorce, but J would not have forgotten G's loss so easily.

As I said, he has that mentality of conquest. And hence, it would not have been easy for him to get over G and A's trauma would have continued.


Ans 2) - Why are you bringing G in this scenario? I have not said G is right if she says A a homebreaker.


Ans 3) When G tried to convince her parents - she said that even if she doesn't marry J, none of them will be happy. Jagya also told her family that if G marries him, A would be able to live her life on her own term.It's good for everyone.

Even if we think that G just said those words to convince her parents, but that was the reality. G, in her dumbness, believed J and thought J would really leave A - no matter what she does.


Ans 4) I have already replied in Answer 3.

Another thing, when the Singh family rejected Gauri and whenever she has raised this question, we all in the forum has pointed it out that Gauri should not complain because due to their rejection she has become a doctor.

But the truth is Singh family did not reject her for her sake but for A's sake. DS or her sons never thought about G's fate after the whole fiasco.

Second marriages in rich family are quiet common. And hence DS was able to make G's family ready for the marriage by showing money. Even Phooli's parents have done that to Phooli.

So after the whole fiasco, DS should have tried to manofy them and make them agree to take the compensation. But DS never did so.

So what if she has not done for A's sake. It's been good for A nah! The same logic should apply for everyone.

Ans 5) When G was emphasizing that she is the legal wife, she did not know about the legal/illegal issue.


I have never heard G has called A an other woman - her mother has called A "doosri aurat" G has definitely got irritated when J talked with A or when A made phone calls. She also said that J has decided to be with G, so A should stay away.

If you ask that how come G tell this to J's legal wife to stay away from him, then it's J who has given her that right by rejecting A and accepting her.

Ans 6) Since we all agree on it, Great!

Ans 7 ) I never said that G can hate A. When did I say that?

If you have not understood then let me explain. I am saying that in this serial, lots of people have made many mistakes and have broken the law.

Singh family, DS, Phooli's parents - everyone! But do we really bash them for their deeds? No. May be because they don't directly inflict pain to our beloved Anandi and hence we overlook their mistakes.

That's why I said -

Had G been openly praising A and not jealous of A, i think there won't be so much of hate towards her for ruining A's life.

A's life is not only ruined by G - it's ruined indirectly by A's parents, Singh family, Jagya and if G is in the list, she should be the last person.


Ans 8) Do you want to say that just by loving your child-bride as your daughter is enough? Then toh - J should also be spared because he is now showing so much concern for A and even saved her.

Let me put list out what mistakes others have done -

A) Singh family broke law even after being well aware of it.Bhairon was sending everyone to jail but did not surrender himself before law.
B) DS did not let A to study easily
C) When Anandi left studies, Sumitra supported her decision for family's sake
D) Bhairon, Sumitra assumed that J and A would be a great couple - they never thought that J and A could be poles apart when they will grow up.
It's the duty of the parents to tell children that "marriage is not a joke. One has to be very sure of oneself, one's goals and then only one can plan about marriage" Did the parents say these to J and A? They did not because J and A were already married.

They did not give A and J the opportunity to choose their partners, nor did they give J and A to know each other before starting their conjugal life. J and A's feelings for each were very much influenced with what others taught them since childhood.

Reality struck them when they started staying together. J thought A is not fit for him as she never shows any interest towards city life or try to make herself educated. A came to know how much J can be insensitive towards any person.

E) Phooli's parents have sold their daughter twice. First when Bhairon sent Phooli's father to jail. But then Bhairon himself bailed him out. Second time, when his father married her off by natha pratha . The guy's parents give bag full of money. It's good fortune of Phooli that she is not tortured till now. But that does not absolve Phooli's parents of their crime.

Phooli's parents can easily be compared with G's parents. But G's parents got their share of punishment, but Phooli's parents got support of Bhairon in making Phooli educated.

Bhairon or DS could have at least try to support G's parents when they were in deep trouble. Specially when DS is very much responsible for the whole fiasco.

Ans 9) Again as I said her rejection of J would have made her righteous in our eyes.

But - would it have solved A's problem? Since it's a question of intention, please see answer 3

Ans 10) You are talking about educated society. And we really don't experience the fanatical patriarchal society who is supposedly the target audience of BV.

As I have written before - Majority of the people would have said how mahaan is A who continues to love her husband despite everything and how bad is G who only thinks about herself and not about J.

Ans 11) since we more or less agree, good!

Ans 12) Her shouting has helped - it has at least make J realize that he can't treat others like a dirt and cannot insult others at his whim.

Yes, her blame game over A has not helped her case - that's what I have been saying from my first post.

Ans 13) Do you want J and G to screech each other because they have hurt A? Well, I would just want G to realize that blaming A is just not right and J to realize that he can't have everything in his plate. If he is not legalizing JG relation, he has to bear G's shouts.

Please don't say that J should get back. It will be triumph of JA marriage.

I can tolerate if JG separates, but J coming back to A would emphasize what Bhanwari told once - "if one gets married early, then it leaves such a strong imprint on the mind that the relation becomes stronger"


Ans 14) G is getting her punishment for marrying J in such a hurry. Why should she suffer J's negligence? She has never told J to neglect A. Now, when J has told that he is with her, she wants him to follow his own words instead of being double dholki.
Also, just as she has shouted at A, she has already got her answers and got thrashed by Bhairon and others.

doyel pakki-u r the best,i love reading ur post,u have real power of explaining,i agree to everything u wrote n earliear there was hima123 i loved reading her posts too.

oh wow where was this post mujhe nahin pata tha doyel tum yahaan discuss kar rahi ho varna mein pehle commnent mar deta😆

oh this mistress keep tag is faaltu , she has been the so called mistress by circumstances , not by her own will

Doyel your post is Awesome !!! Completely agree with what you have written...

Actually if you notice CV's are achieving what they want...reforming Jagya & making G a vamp!!

Look at 'most' of the posts in the forum ...one time hungry for Jagya's blood are now ready to forgive him if he reforms ...anybody who is good to Anandi is automatically good...that's the logic here...now suddenly Jag is bechara and G is tagged home breaker...people don't realize that G NEVER asked J to leave Anandi...she NEVER seduced him away from Anandi...he left A on his own will and chose G...and why should she accept him?? After all she also lover him...when he made it clear that he won't go back to A she belived him ...he saying No wouldn't have saved JA marriage !! That was already doomed long before when J fel in love with G!

I don't see anything wrong in what G did...and I really want to see JG together !! what other forum members say is their opinion ...but I love G! she is a nice girl and feeling jealous is quite natural ...yes she over reacts but oh well doesn't Anandi over react (by being overtly good) so everyone has their flaws...

Any given day I would pick G over A!!! at least she has more shades to her character :)

@doyelpakhi, I will like to comment on 3 points you raised:

1. "G has done great good to A by marrying J, because even if she did not marry J, J and A would have had a bad marriage."
Your argument sounds like a classic case of the fallacy of cause and effect. G did not marry J out of philanthropic reasons to save A, so her act cannot be justified as praiseworthy just because the ultimate result is good for A. By this logic, anyone who murders a drunkard father should be praised because he is ultimately doing good to his suffering children who would be better off without him! And all of Tiger Woods' mistresses should be felicitated because they did play a role in breaking Woods-Norin marriage and thus relieving Norin from a bad spouse! Nobody is blaming Gauri alone, Jagya is the one who should be blamed first, but to claim that Gauri is not to be blamed and instead should be applauded for her role in bettering Anandi's life is a little too much.

Let me tell you a personal story of why I personally think Gauri has NOT done the right thing. I did not want to share this story earlier since it is too personal, but I guess it might help me put my point in perspective. I was romantically involved with a guy for two years in my masters days. We were both hosteliers and hence we could spend a lot of time together, even beyond the class hours. It started just like J and G------we became friends first and then we were dating. Now this guy had mentioned that he had a couple of short flings in school but those were just puppy loves and went nowhere serious, and we would even laugh about such silly infatuations. After we completed our masters and were planning the next stage of our career, I got to know from a common friend that "my" guy was not only two-timing his high school sweetheart (who apparently knew nothing about me), it was a such a serious thing that even the families were already making plans of marriage. Devastated, I confronted my guy and he told me that he has no feelings for the other girl and it was her who was more interested in pursuing him. He confessed that he did have a long, serious relationship with her (not the silly puppy loves he initially claimed them to be) but now his preference lies only with me. Sounds familiar? Heartbroken as I was, my trust in "my" guy was gone completely. I did not want to team up with such a lying jerk nor did I want to become a part of a mess that involves another girl's life. I broke all contacts with him immediately. Now, what the other girl did was none of my business---all I knew that I could not choose such a man as my life partner, nor did I want to become a part of plan which could badly hurt and emotionally devastate another girl. Now am happily married with a wonderful man and I heard from other sources that even that girl had refused to marry "my" guy, so basically he was left alone and is now dating a 4th or 5th or 6th girl!
My point is, Gauri should have left Jagya immediately after knowing his truth. What Anandi does with Jagya was not her concern--it was upto Anandi to decide whether she wants to live with such a jerk or throw him out---but she herself should have refused to be a part of a mess that involves a lying cheater, families and another girl's life. But, now that she has willingly participated in the mess and actually relished and celebrated the act, she becomes an equal jerk like her jerk husband.

2. Nobody blames Sumitra, Bhairon, Dadisa, Phooli's parents and others for their own crimes just because they side with Anandi, but everybody seems to blame only Gauri and Jagya.

There is an inherent difference between all these people and Jagya-Gauri. All these above mentioned "criminals" acted the way they did because they know no other way. All these people are deeply enmeshed in a social system that dictates certain customs to them and they are neither enlightened enough to see the evil of those customs, nor brave enough to be a social rebels. So their acts are criminal but their intentions are not, because they have never been enough liberated to break out of these social evils, nor do all of them have the guts to do so due to the social environment they live in. For example, Bhairon understands the evils of the system but he was not brave enough to counter his masa, especially since he still lives in a joint family system that runs with a strict code . Similarly, though having done "criminal" acts, Sumitra, Bhago, Khajan, Phooli's parents, Dadisa, did so because they thought they were acting in the best interests of their children--precisely because that's the only way they know and believe in. Now lets compare these "criminals" to our doctor couple----which social customs were these doctor couple blindly following by getting married to each other? whose best interests did they have in mind? what lack of exposure or blind faith in village traditions or myopic thoughts of cloistered social systems were they practicing when one was abusing his wife and the other reached the haveli to cruelly flaunt her newly wed status? Can J-G's acts be really compared to what the village folks have done in ignorance and blind faith?

3. Jagya is a reformed man after staying with Gauri. He knows he cannot take Gauri for granted, so he is careful how he behaves with her. He also does household chores.

Disagree. Jagya has not reformed a single bit, in fact he has become a much more shrewd manipulator and liar. The only time Jagya took Gauri seriously was when Gauri really threatened to leave him. Other than that, he does NOT care to mend his own ways precisely because he knows Gauri will only shout and scream for a while, but will ultimately dance to his tunes, no matter what. In fact, it is this confidence that Gauri will never put her foot down, that makes Jagya do unacceptable things much more confidently. He can openly talk about Anandi, loudly proclaim that he has respect and admiration for her, compare G with Anandi umpteen number of times, take money from Anandi, go off on Anandi's rescue mission and has the balls to say it is Anandi's haq!! All he does is lies and hides to avoid confrontation, but he will not mend his ways, nor is he apologetic about his own actions. That's the greatest failure of Gauri. She has had too many useless fits to be taken seriously, she has wasted too many screaming sessions for nothing-------the end result has only made Jagya a more adamant man who will do whatever he wants and he doesn't even care to apologize for his actions, because he knows it's a matter of seconds that Gauri will start romancing with him again. He can even declare boldly that he will not divorce Anandi and then expect Gauri to continue living with him, and lo, that's precisely what Gauri does!!. I would say, at least when he was secretly romancing with Gauri, he was mortified that Anandi will find out. But now, he doesn't need to worry about that too, because he expects Gauri to accept Anandi as an integral part of his life,and with no qualms and no remorse.

Gagarulez-i completely agree with u.

@woman11

As for what I see...the logic keeps changing when it comes to A and G...A is always being praised and whatever mistakes she does is pushed under the carpet in the name of "social conditioning" and "she has been brought up that way...her background" etc etc

@Woman11👏👏 very well said. frankly speaking didnt read the post for which u replied due to its legnth, but i fully read ur reply and i can assume the content of other posts.