I wish to ask - Page 5

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 14 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: parri814
And Suchi, like Anmol and Tanvi you have every right to feel how you do and express it how you want.

Annika, you are a smart girl, please do not misconstrue what I have just stated to Suchi as a snide or indirect remark to yourself. Just as you stated to Tiny 15 the following on page 4 of this thread.

"It makes me feel relieved. At least it is better than others laughing it off as an attempt to crib about not getting attention or having people agree with me all the time.

Thanks a lot for being so open, direct, forthright and understanding."

How does it make you different regarding an indirect stab at some. Be direct and state to tiny who is "laughing it off".

We all may not have the gift of the gab like you do but when you ask for our thoughts we do try to respond as best we can. From the vein of your responses, it seems like you are not satisfied with some of our responses if they are not in keeping with your line of thinking. Please don't get into Psycho babble about how we cannot analyze you personally and all that but the TONE of your posts here sound frustrated, admonishing and attacking. That's my perception anyway.

I am so sorry I even attempted to respond my take on things and give my two cents because no matter what I say you have already decided to be upset (I see this from the tone of your posts) and perhaps my telling you that I look forward to and 'like' your posts provoked you further since you were already upset by Antaras post

I did not state their names because this thread only had few same names posting in it at that time. So it was visible who was laughing it off. It was not snide, because I have addressed 2-3 posts to Antara at the same time, openly in the same thread and talked directly to her.

It's not like I did not express what concerns I had with which member- and only responded to a member who agreed with me or ''gave me what I wanted''.

Yes Suchi has every right to talk - but she can do it openly and there and then! Why not do so if you have freedom? I am glad she responded to me in this thread instead of going to an episode update thread or a super episode thread and leaving a comment about ''frustrations'' or forum being suffocated. I appreciate it!

For further on Suchi see my reply to her. I am not just talking about her alone!

Why do you think I will assume your reply to Suchi as a snide comment on myself? You only said she has right to express. There is nothing ''snide'' here.

I have clarified umpteen times and gone blue in the face saying it is NOT about my ''dissatisfaction with people's responses'' or frustration at at ''not getting desired reaction'' from members!! I do not want everyone to agree with me, see my POV or say I am right or understand me always!😕

I just wish to have clarity and know what to do to be spared from personal comments and double standards and snide sarcasm.

Am I getting into psycho babble? Those were exact words from Antara's posts! About me being emotional or feeling ''rejected'' or less appreciated for ''not getting likes!'' Or being emotional! I did not make up stuff from my own side. Those are words which she mentioned - her judgement about my ''state of mind'' or my ''intent'' in making posts!

If anyone doesn't agree, it is fine. But why get personal? Or make conclusions about what a person ''wants'', what is his ''state of mind'' or his ''nature'' or whatever?

I have no gift the gab. None at all.

ADDED - One more thing Pari - I did not make this post to ''attack'' your friends. Or make it a fight or war. I am okay with sarcasm also as long as it is direct, free from personal in nature assumptions and only related to the post. I am NOT trying to deny anyone of his/her right to speech!

I only sense there is increasingly a need to add disclaimers to posts (be it funny ones or serious ones) or keep clarifying in advance that I don't mean to say this or that or bash any member or character.

I felt like that so I sincerely decided to seek opinion on unwritten or ''understood'' rules which perhaps I or someone else like me, might not have instinctively ''understood''.

I would really like to participate in the forum, without inviting assumptions on my thinking or personal characteristics and sneaky talking. Just wanted to know how it could be possible. So wrote this thread. That is the only thing I ''want''. Not anything else - mutual agreement or constant appreciation and all the other stuff reasoned out by Antara and to some extent, now, by you.

Edited by annika20 - 14 years ago

Quote

Picasso9

@Picasso9

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#42

Annika, I am not going to go in-depth responding to you because of time constraints this morning but one thing jumped out at me which I can respond briefly to

You are right, nobody can without a doubt make assumptions about anyone's feelings in the real or virtual world unless directly told by the said person.

About assumptions made about your feelings, you would have to agree that when you write words like 'I am relieved' it does point towards current and prior state of mind. Choice of words set the temperament so sometimes it is not hard to correctly gauge state of mind.

Also for the record, I am not friends with anyone here. THAT was an assumption on YOUR part based on my responses. I joined the forum in 2007 but only really became active a few months ago. I enjoy the banter, analysis and POV of everyone here because it takes me away from my world of taking care of a medically dependent child. Every now and then anyone can get their knickers in a knot over something or the other but recover and move on. To me, I have personally seen my child code 4 times. Life and death and surviving is way more important then some of the things discussed and placed value on. This is a good distraction for ME but it could be everything to another. I sincerely hope you get the answers to the questions you put forth. Have a good weekend.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#43

I have deleted my post.

Edited by woman11 - 14 years ago

Quote

Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#44

eeks I wrote a BIGGG thingy now I do not have the energy to write it back again.

in short.

Chill yaar.

its not that serious.
Do not take it personally.

: )

oh & of course

Anandi RULEZ!

Edited by Suchi-NivReniac - 14 years ago

Quote

woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: parri814
Annika, I am not going to go in-depth responding to you because of time constraints this morning but one thing jumped out at me which I can respond briefly to

You are right, nobody can without a doubt make assumptions about anyone's feelings in the real or virtual world unless directly told by the said person.

About assumptions made about your feelings, you would have to agree that when you write words like 'I am relieved' it does point towards current and prior state of mind. Choice of words set the temperament so sometimes it is not hard to correctly gauge state of mind.

Also for the record, I am not friends with anyone here. THAT was an assumption on YOUR part based on my responses. I joined the forum in 2007 but only really became active a few months ago. I enjoy the banter, analysis and POV of everyone here because it takes me away from my world of taking care of a medically dependent child. Every now and then anyone can get their knickers in a knot over something or the other but recover and move on. To me, I have personally seen my child code 4 times. Life and death and surviving is way more important then some of the things discussed and placed value on. This is a good distraction for ME but it could be everything to another. I sincerely hope you get the answers to the questions you put forth. Have a good weekend.

Parri, I feel so touched after reading your post. I am sorry to hear about your child and I hope she/he gets well soon. You are a brave mother, wish you all the best👏 True, this forum is a place for carefree escape for many bogged down by real life issues. Why have fights and unnecessary tensions here too? But unfortunately, the forum is turning to a war zone... Anyway, I really wish you all happiness and lots of love for your child. Hugs🤗

Quote

charminggenie

@charminggenie

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#46

With due respects to everyone , I feel really sad to see how a post by Annika which just stated the existence of "unsaid censorship" and the underlying current to support or appease a particular character leads to posts mocking various and vaired POVs.

The snide comments or the posts mentioning how someone's POV can make your blood boil, frustrates you to an extent that it harms your Health etc, are present on this forum. Her post hghlighted this distasteful disagreement with someone's POV. Noone expects that everyone agrees to his/her POV, but then there should be a basic civic sense of showing it. Be it virtual or real world , freedom to express your views should never be abused.

I feel sad to see, how this post was misunderstood, taken out of context and labelled as beng an angry rant about some individuals not appreciating Anu's post. Well, do we write what we feel to get certain number of likes, comment, i guess if the anser is no then y r we expecting Anu to think lyk that.

Yes to chill or take it in the lighter vein is the easiest excuse to drop out of anything, but lets all practice it when we comment on somebody's posts and not get any health ailments if the opinions
doesnt match.

@Antara, I have respected your views on this forum but have to disagree , coz i feel u totally missed the mark which was intended- Howshould weconfront to a post which says my BP rose( nah SUchi.its not just you) or similar ones, if it repeats in every thread , how one os expected to react. Hence Anu asked , about which language to use while posting so as not to bring a heart attack or not assasinate someone's character while ripping apart a fictional one.

@Parri- I salute you as a brave mother, and more power to you, i understand the need to escape from lyf, hell after long hrs in IBank , this forum does provide me that , henceforth the need to maintain the basic civic sense emerges, v can quote a post, v can disagree to someone but i dont think we have a right to dismiss it so casually and list it as a source of irritation or question its motives. Again, i have nothing but admiration for you.

The only way i feel that everyone has a right to support what they want and they have equal right in exppressing their opinion but somewhere v all need to draw a line when it comes to maintaining the dignity of the forum . A few expressions written in virtual world or said in the real world can casue equal amout of hurt , lets refrain from that.

I felt the same way as Anu, hence failed to see people questioning her motives, her actions and her intent pretty sad, lets give each other some respect and continue to agree or disagree!

Quote

642126

Hibernated

Posted: 14 years ago

#47

@woman11

Am I doing analysis? I only wrote in short, the gist of your lengthy, written in BOLD comments to me!

Thanks to you, the context of the thread was lost. It just became about I, one person, wants!

Points that I had mentioned?! Was ''likes'' a point? Or did I use it just as an example of a bigger point?

No need to apologise. You've done what you had to and it also bore lasting result, changing the course of the topic. It doesn't matter even if I decide to hold a ''grudge'' because I am now helpless anyway. Thread has gone wayward already. There is no longer any point in me or anyone else taking it forward, at least looking at the way it's ended up...😕

NOW:

- It is not like I have never directly talked to people. I have done it, not just with Suchi but other members too. But I did not have the energy to clarify myself or take ''such'' posts regularly. So I thought of creating a generic topic, to have a wholesome discussion on what is acceptable or what is not, so that such situations never arise or at least reduce in future!

Why just Suchi? I created this topic, and deliberately did not mention names or quote posts because I wanted to get feedback and honest discussion from all fans - even GAGA ones! And finally reduce or put an end to such underhanded stuff, later members taking it up with other members and others simply saying they did not mean this or did not mean that or that they got emotional out of favouritism.

The reaction to a post about Anandi in a funny thread was about Khusi - she (and I guess one other member too..don't remember the id) had told me to go a bit easy on her. I appreciate that she opened up in this thread and replied honestly about her feelings, without taking it some other way or doubting my intention.

There's some more too. But I am MORE INTERESTED in talking about the underlying issue, rather than making it a war or complaints between certain people! And as far as I know, EVERYONE knows what the issue is! I have strove to talk only about the issue in each post in this thread. Not due to double standards but due to an issue which does pervade the forum and could do with some reduction or complete end!

So don't think of me doing the same thing which I am seeking a solution to resolve.

I am sorry if I was unable to convey the intent of the topic and seemed like preaching what I do not practise, but honestly that is not what I had intended to do.

It is not supposed to be a personal vengeance thread - I never made it with such an intent.

I am not calling the WHOLE forum biased! When did I do that? I talked about feeling restricted or a fear/doubt about posts being taken only as bashing a member or a character and then all personal assumptions coming up!

You said it was not clear from my post what I was referring to. Which one are you talking about? The first post in the thread. Or some post made in reply to someone else? [I am genuinely asking this]

From your responses, it looked like you read only some examples and didn't bother about words written in bold! That's because your replies were addressed more to the things mentioned in the examples but not points in bold which I had written in my post!

You also say you replied to me in goodwill. Sorry to say, but not a word in any of your posts to me, gave an impression of ''goodwill''. You talked about things which I had never mentioned at all! Or concerns which I had never raised. You took some examples and made it look like a case of not getting desired feedback or not getting desired level of appreciation or being unable to take criticism! What kind of goodwill is this? Sorry I could not understand this brand of goodwill.

It's okay. You give arguments about goodwill even when there is talk about age groups of members. Now you're giving the same logic to me.😳

Thanks to that, others started giving me reassurances that they do read my posts and make efforts to ''like'' them! Something which is not an issue in any way at all!😲

Still, it has become a case of me going out to ''settle scores'', express frustration at not getting ''proper'' response etc. 😕

It has gone out of context. I see there is no use to discuss. In fact, after your posts yesterday itself, I realised it will go nowhere and it would only end up being about me - ''not getting enough attention'' or ''desired response'' or everything else related to ''me''. 😔

Even though I never started this topic with the intent of solely talking about myself!

Okay, I will not talk and I regret yet again, that I even chose to talk or create this topic. It has only become a personal argument or fight...going around in circles with some asking me - ''you seem to want this or that'' and my repeatedly clarifying ''It's not about me or mera yeh matlab nahin tha''.

Last words from me on this - From my side, I intended it to be a serious discussion - honest expression of what people want or not or what hurts them so that members like me can take care of certain things, and other confusions whether issues were actually okay to be discussed or was it only about being a fan or hater. Or if need, be spell out a members' expected code of conduct!

But it went in the same direction - ended up more like a fight.

I promise not to talk more. I am really not interested to get into fights.

TO PARRI:

Yes...you're so right...there are bigger in issues in life...

I salute you for your spirit and I wish the best for you and your family. 😊I agree we should not get worked up over things which happen in a forum. That is why I resisted posting such a topic for long...but then, forum is also a part of life - and even if we come here for leisure, then let's have everyone take it leisurely - agreeing and disagreeing...but at least without snide sarcasm and worst of all, personality-related assumptions! As Anjani said - there could be a line drawn somewhere. Is it too much to ask for?

Yes I knew that ''friends'' word would be taken as assumption. I should have edited it. Honestly I did not write it in a sarcastic sense.

Edited by annika20 - 14 years ago

Quote

redapple1

@redapple1

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#48

@all: My sincere request is just write what you feel. If people get offended by your posts, then tough luck. If they write counter arguments, if you feel like defending your stance on those points write back or choose to ignore. Now please group hug everyone...

Quote

dolly

@tiny15

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: annika20
@tiny15

Thanks a lot for being the only one to reply to all questions!😊

1) thanx 4 the compliment!!

- Glad that you feel we should not impose views on others. 😊

- About positive and negative characters:

Does this show really show anyone in black or white? They sometimes justify DS, sometimes Gauri, sometimes even J! They even tried to reform and made Mahavir Singh and Basant look good!

2) i agree wid u that this show doesn't'v epure black & white & i think grey ckts which tend 2 b darker grey!!and i agree they even justified DS or G or evne J. no arguments or disagreements!! earlier i never liked basant bcoz of his approach 2wards women esply 2wards poor & like gehna. but they made him & even mahabir bit tolerable!! so CVs've tried 2 make ordinary human ckts. only sum like BS or gehna & 2 sum extent A r made true human ckts!!

Can we have liberty to discuss about characters in context of issues or actions or situations and not just positivity or negativity all the time? Is it wrong to do so? Why is it not tolerated if someone does it?

3) yeah why not??i think we shud've this liberty!!after all these things make us understand oders much better. and i don't think its wrong 2 discuss & criticise a +ve ckt's faults or mistakes. dear i can't say abt tolerance by oders but i've always tried 2 tolerant enough or rather i say the word respect barring sum extreme cases but u know sumtimes i also overreact a bit but not cross the line!!😊😊

Why liken a fictional character to Gandhi? Does that reasoning justify the deity-devotee-temple thing I talked about? 😲

4) oh dear i m not comparing a fictional ckt wid Gandhi in that sense but i tried 2 tell that ppl don't like their idols 2 b even get criticised leave apart bashed though if they r fictnal. i m not justifying deity-devotee thing. i only gave u reasons of a general human thinking but it doesn't mean i agree wid it. rather i m 4 freedom of expression &i almost always against banning sum thing or sum1 4 a particular reason etc!!i said almost as sum condns r such that either u can't decide on it or want 2 b controll it 2 sum extent !!!

I think even in real life people do get freedom to talk openly. There have been articles and books criticising people put on high pedestal - be it Gandhi or Anna Hazare or expressing doubts or concerns over their methods or concerns. Apart from really scandalous ones (like a book describing Gandhi as a sex maniac!) I don't see negativity or TOTAL backlash against them. Or any indirect coercion to ensure such articles or books are never published! I think such things happen in dictatorship countries and not democracies.

5)yeah i agree in real ppl do talk openly & get this freedom 2talk!! but still u can see ppl r not tolerant enough abt these things even in real. as i rem wenever any prsn whos against Congress the party if try 2 criticise Mahatama Gandhi & even i don't appreiciate sum of his actions, they r labelled as communal. so u can see the diff. and i m nonly giving e.g of human thinking & not talking even in context of sum1's post or bashing it!! @bold no dear it has been also happened in India itself. i don't know if u know abt the book "Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie was banned by PM Rajeev Gandhi in the 80s giving reasons of hurting the sentiments of a particular community.i'd read sum excerpts of the book & didn't find it objectionable. but may b i'v 2 read the whole book.

- If people don't understand funny stuff then why even enter a thread which is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek? You know you will be offended seeing what is there! That's like opening a po*n site, even though you are disgusted by the very thought of it!

6) i agree if ppl can't understand then they shudn't enter in a thread. i m really surprised if thtas the thing(abt opening p*** site).

- Thanks a lot for being so frank and honest. 😊 So it is not a good approach to appreciate something positive in a character who's basically supposed to be villain/vamp or point out mistakes or mis-steps in a positive character. I will keep that in mind since others may not have OPENLY spoken, but at least ONE member had the integrity to make it clear. Thanks a lot.

7)no i m not saying that its not a gud approach 2 point out faults or mistakes of a +ve ckt or praise the sum gud qlty of -ve or a grey ckt!! i don't mind abt these things. i've myself sumtimes prasied sum gud qlty of -ve or grey ckt or evne criticised the faults or mistakes of the lead ckt or +ve ckt!!
i think u've misunderstood me & my post abt it !! i m not saying that u shudn't do as i've raed ur posts & they r not just balanced but also 2 the point. i was simply trying 2 tell u abt sum ppl's approach 2wards such things!!

Is it also wrong to talk about how CVs or channel is handling or portraying some character?

8) no its not wrong!! i agree wid u on this. after all we r the viewers who've 2 bera all the sensible tracks & as well as non-sense put out by CVs!!😆

- If someone has just expressed frustration but not imposed it on anyone or tried to convince others but ONLY stood by his/her own stand, even then why such a person or such persons are made to feel suffocated and obvious cold war is there?

9) i think this depends upon prsn 2 prsn & also sumtimes may b due 2 misunderstanding each oder's POV!!

- I see what you pointed out in personal comments case. But don't you think no matter how foolish or shocking any person's arguments or reasoning sound to us, we consider to only counter their viewpoint or certain stuff they wrote in a post, rather than getting personal? Or making assumption about character, age, thinking, experience or lack of it, education or lack of it, understanding or empathy or the lack of them?

Doesn't that take way the seriousness of the issue being argued and reduce it to just a fight? Isn't it wrong to insult a person or assume what he/she could be like, just for his/her POV? Or label him or her for what they could be in reality in their own lives? Rip apart their POV if you want! But why get personal about them or make up versions of that person's reality?

10) i agree wid u on this & abt prsnl attack. & i'd also seen sum ppl taking as prsnl attack & not just here but in oder forums 2!!though generally we shun't judge any1 on the basis of ckt, age. experience etc. but i think generaly humans tend 2 luk at it like this only & its rare ppl not 2 think in this way. but here also sumtimes u've 2 take in consideration sum extreme cases.

Why only evil stuff? Don't tell me you have never noticed backlash against even those who point out flaws or wrong representation in an action or lack of it in case of a positive character! What to do of getting personal approach in such cases? Is it fair?

11) i m not saying it & i'd also seen such things & i didn't mean 2 say that also. as i'd already told u that its abt the general human thinking . but i m not saying that its a gud or wise thing 2 do even if its in human nature!!

- Does talking about an issue or its wrong portrayal actually mean that a character is being demeaned? We understand context, but does it mean we are no longer allowed to say what is wrong or right?Understanding are justifying completely - are they same thing or different? Can't anyone have the freedom to understand some character, but still maintain that he/she doesn't think what is happening is right in a broader sense?😲

12)talking abt an issue or its wrong portrayal doesn't mean as demeaning the +ve ckt!! i was not saying that abt u but abt the ppl who try 2 demean the +ve ckt or gudness intentionally. i know u never even tried 2 demean. i think here u again misunderstood my post.

- You said it is not like the ''other'' forum. But I think the way it has been going it shall very soon become like that. It does look like it's on that way!😕

13)no i don't think its going that way & 2 reach that level this forum"ll take so long that that at that time show may hav finished!!

- Thanks you believe that those who are not strict fanatics or haters should be allowed to talk😊 But sadly, they are not!

14) dear i m also in this category. though i may b bit biased 2wards any gud or +ve ckt but i never stopped criticising their faults & mistakes.and i agree generally ppl r not like this. they take it as prsnl attack or demeaning of the ckt!!

- What is ''good opposition''? Is that talking openly, replying there and then? Or does covert stuff (like posting ''reactions'' in other threads which are basically about episode or indirectly referencing without openly naming or quoting) and ''getting personal'' (assuming about thinking, patience, understanding, sensitivity etc.) also come under good opposition? If someone feels angered by this, then is he/she being unnecessarily touchy? Or sulking because he/she could not come up with a counter-argument and has been cornered?!😲

15)no i don't think its a gud opposition!! if sum1 is opposing ur POV then it doesn't mean necessarily its against u!! but may b sum ppl react like that only!!

Many thanks for this one thing you wrote in reaction to my topic 🤗-

It makes me feel relieved. At least it is better than others laughing it off as an attempt to crib about not getting attention or having people agree with me all the time. 😊

Thanks a lot for being so open, direct, forthright and understanding. 😊

@ thanks 4 recognising my rxn as +ve as it was like that only!!🤗 wen i read ur post my 1st rxn was wow v.gud topic as expected by u!! and i don't think this topic is a laughable topic!!

but even i agree wid sum of the statements made by oder ppl in this post!!so i'd even pressed the "like" button!!😊😊

Quote

woman11

@woman11

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#50

annika: I thought I will not talk about this anymore but I have to say a few things:

1. I have already apologized if I misunderstood your post. Reading a post is completely upto a specific reader. You cannot control the thoughts a reader gets by reading something. That's precisely why a single piece of literature can be interpreted in 100 ways. I understood your post in a certain way, you countered my understanding and clarified things.So we both got to express our individual thoughts. Fine, the matter is settled. Why do you keep harping about it? It's not my fault if I get a different meaning from the post than what you intended it to be, especially when there are no specific examples. The only examples that you gave did convey a different message to me.
But anyway, I would like to apologize again. It is not my intention to hurt you or anyone. I am really sorry if I did hurt you.

2. Please don't blame me for turning the course of the discussion and making other members follow suit. Nobody is blind here, nor am I the messiah that people follow my words loyally. Each person expresses his or her own thought, nobody is responsible for formulating those thoughts. I saw parri expressing the same ideas that I got from reading your post. Now do you mean to say I influenced parri's thinking? It's not only an attack on me but also an insult to parri's thoughts since she is supposed to just follow what I say, not apply her own logic. Same goes for every member who liked my posts. It's not their own opinion or understanding of the posts, they blindly support whatever I say!!!

3. I joined the discussion because there was nothing in the starting topic that referred to the recent happenings in the forum. There were no direct references to the actual posts you were referring to. So I just went by the examples you gave me. You mentioned about your post on Jagya being appreciated but people not liking your post on Anandi. You mentioned about not getting enough responses for the AAA post in JT. That's why I took up those points. And again, let me clarify, I did not intend to malign anybody, nor do I have the power to influence members. Each member knows how to read and what to understand.

4. My goodwill lay in the fact that I asked you to ignore people who attack you. And this is my response to you too Anjani: if you are concerned about appeasing people who take offense at your post then you might be giving undue importance to people. How should it matter what other people like or not like? You carry on with your own posts as long as nobody stops you.
And if you are concerned about people getting heart attack over posts, then maybe those people need a heart surgery. You are not responsible for pleasing anyone, or taking care or someone's health if people get upset over forum discussions. It's their problem, not yours.

Anyway, I will seriously stop now. I have reduced my visits to the forum. I just stopped by yesterday and joined the discussion. However, I will stay away from the forum now. I don't want to influence other people's thoughts, or take the blame of taking over a discussion single-handedly and distorting it solely by my posts. I seriously did not know my words had so much power.

Again let me apologize once again. I AM SORRY . I certainly don't want you to feel "helpless" just because I dared to express my thoughts. So they better be CENSORED. Let me delete all the posts I made in this thread so that if somebody reads this thread later will not be influenced by what I said.

Edited by woman11 - 14 years ago

Quote

1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8

I wish to ask - Page 5

Related Topics

Explore Topics