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Chapter 5
"Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart" Haruki Murakami,
'Ap hi mujhse milna chahte the?'
Arjun closed his eyes. A sweet aura filled the room. He turned towards the female voice. There she was, the serene posture of a beautiful lady. Clad in a simple tee and trouser, with water droplets falling from her wet, long curly hair, wetting her shoulder at places, she was indeed looking beautiful. Arjun had already started admiring her long back when he first saw her in the picture but there was something in her which was attracting him too.
Arjun was looking at her dumb folded. He was matching her with the picture he had seen. She was exactly the same, except her eyes. They didn't hold the chirpy glint which he had seen in the picture. It held a strange gloominess, though it wasn't stable always. But the cop eyes of Arjun didn't miss them.
May be the tough life she led had taken it away.
He looked on. She had a confused and irritated expression spread all over her face. She was looking around, avoiding his eyes while her left fingers pushed her wet hair behind the ear repeatedly. Off course she was feeling irritated at his piercing, shameless gaze.
He stepped towards her and forwarded his palm, smiling at her awkwardness.
'ACP Arjun Rawte,' he informed her,
Roshni shook hands with him, short and professional, and took back her palm quickly.
'Ap mujhse milna kyu chahte the?' she asked again pushing her fallen locks at the back of her ear,
'baith ke baat kare?' Arjun asked her, gaining some time to get his lines ready.
Roshni showed him the sofas and walked behind him. She switched off the television and sat down facing him. Arjun was now in a fix, he didn't really know, why he was here. All his resolute, his earlier thoughts had all flushed away the moment he saw those eyes in front of him. He again looked at her. She had an inquisitive frown waiting for him to start. She seemed worried at what was coming up.
After a long pause when Arjun didn't speak a word, finally she started.
'kya ap mujhe jante hai? sorry but I don't think I know you..' she told him with a deep questioning gaze,
Arjun signed heavily. Now he had to speak up. He was never good with words or expressing, it was mostly Sam who used to speak on his behalf, during his most crucial hours. Sameer did bash him later for such modesty, but Arjun knew sam wasn't ashamed of it.
One such time was now and again sam wasn't there with him. He looked up and found Roshni looking at him, her eyes spoke about her impatience. Finally he started,
'Ap ACP Sameer Rathod ko janti hai? ETF chief, Mumbai branch?' he asked her,
He could feel the emptiness in her eyes intensify but one blink and again it was gone. She quietly nodded her head.
'Main uske saath kam karta tha, aur uska dost bhi,' he told her,
She frowned for a moment, as if thinking something deeply, but then her face brighten and her lips curved in a sly smile.
'Arjun is it? Sameer ne bataya tha apke bare mein, per Sameer ki to..' she asked him with the smile again fading away with the saddness back in her eyes,
She knew.
Finally Arjun realized she knew about his death. The reality was even more harsh this time. He already felt her eye lids flutter while she waited for him to speak this time. Her face was pale but her eyes still held a curious gaze, curious to know the reason for his visit.
'Haan...mein tha uske saath uss mission mein, per...' he started but his heart felt a severe pain and he stopped,
A moment of silence followed in which none of them dared to speak or look at each other. Finally Roshni broke it, forwarding him a glass of water,
'Ap thik hai?' she asked him,
'haan, sorry,' arjun replied sipping the water slowly,
'per aap mujhse kyu...' she again asked him, but this time more cautious not to bring up the pain more,
Arjun signed and kept down the glass on the table.
'Sameer ne ek bar bataya tha apke bare mein...aur fir ye...mein dehradun aya to socha apko ye de deta hu, Sameer ke cheezo mein mila tha...shayad ap...' he told her,
Arjun picked out the file from his bag and forwarded it to her. She frowned at him, but he nudged her to take it. She understood his silent gesture and took the file. She flipped through the pages slowly and silently.
Arjun opened his mouth to speak something, to tell her the real reason for his visit or share his own shattered self, but one look at her and words didn't form. A long silence followed after this, none spoke a word.
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Arjun sat silently watching the lady in front of him. She had the file on her lap and was completely immersed into it, even forgetting the presence of a stranger in the house. Arjun looked on while she slowly flipped through the pages, caressing each page with her fingers and palm. Arjun looked at her face. It was pale, her nostrils were flaring and red, she was continuously blinking her eye lids to push away the tears but her lips, they held a smile, a melancholy smile.
Zindagi hai dhuan to kya
Bujh gayi har subah to kya
Rootha mujhse khuda to kya
Ho gaye hum juda to kya
She was touching every line of the documents and finally stopping at the signature in the end, as if feeling his presence with each word, with each line and his name. She would carefully and slowly flip to the next page and again touch it in a similar manner. But with every page she flipped, the smile on her lips would lessen and slowly disappeared when she came across the picture.
Faasle they hazaaron darmiyan,
Waqt ke they hazaaron imtehaan
Fir bhi ban ke nishaan,
Tere honthon ke kisi kone mein,
Hansi ke tarah, main mehfuz hoon
She picked up the picture from the file and looked at it. She seemed shocked initially. Then she turned the picture. Even the best observant eyes of the Arjun Rawte had failed to notice the drawn smiley at the right corner of the picture with a designed initial "SR."
Roshni was aware of it. But the invention just brought in a storm of pain and the leased tears finally found its way. She closed her eyes, muttering something to herself, while she touched the initials with her palms. Tears rolled down her cheeks but she didn't bother to wipe them. In the next few moments she was crying clutching onto the picture to herself.
Teri aankhon ke chipe dard mein
Aansoo ki tarah, main mehfuz hoon
Bewajah har wajah to kya
Begunahii hai gunaah to kya
Beasar hai dua to kya
Ho gaye hum juda to kya
Raaz gehre hazaron bepanah
Lafz thahare hazaaron bejubaan
Fir bhi ban ke nishaan
Tere honthe ke kisi kone mein
Hansi ki tarah, main mehfuz hoon
Tere gesu ke ude pannon mein
Yaadon ki tarah, main mehfuz hoon
Arjun was completely perplexed at her reaction. He didn't know how to console her. He had never consoled a crying person ever. It was always Kaka who consoled him in his childhood and later it was Sameer, who used to take care of his pain which normally took the shape of anger. Sameer had his ways, but when it came to Arjun, he was always screwed. He would jump around the house, getting Sam's favourite food, watching his favourite racing show, but unlike sam consoling someone with mere words, wasn't his cup of tea.
Though Sam never disappointed him. He knew well about his friends weaknesses and always consoled himself back with the many irritating and unusual antics Arjun performed to console him.
But Roshni didn't know him. Moreover, somewhere he was the reason behind the gush of pain she was in right now. She already knew about Sam's death and had composed herself. It was him who had again pierced her wound with a thick knife.
Arjun looked at the lady in front. She had again composed herself. She had wiped the tears from her cheeks. But he could see her eyes getting moist every few seconds and she was having a hard time to keep them away. She was blinking her moist eyes, pressing her lips and breathing in but nothing was working. She again closed her eyes and the tears started flowing down her cheeks.
Teri aankhon mein
Mehfuz hoon
Teri yaadon mein
Mehfuz hoon
Teri baaton mein
Mehfuz hoon
Tere baalon mein
Mehfuz hoon
He knew well every thing at that moment was reminding her of Sameer, she didn't speak a word but Arjun knew well. The misery of losing one's only belonging. What he had known about Roshni, she was also a broken soul similar to him. Though she never showed, but except Sameer there hardly was anyone who cared for her.
Arjun stood up. He wasn't able to watch the lady in more pain. Neither did he have anything else to tell or do for her. He picked up the bag on his shoulder and looked at Roshni. She was again smiling with teary eyes, thinking something while she looked at a withdrawal slip, kept between the documents.
Arjun had kept a visiting card from the hotel room he was staying at. He kept it on the table under the half filled glass of water and moved towards the door.
He didn't know why he kept the card there. Did he want the lady to call him, how could he even expect a woman to call a stranger, he didn't know. But by the time he realized his mistake he was at the door, holding the knob. He turned back but could not step towards the already broken and shattered roshni. He was now feeling guilty and helpless. He shouldn't have visited her.
He opened the door and quickly moved out, closing the door behind him, when he heard her sniffing sobs again.
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done with this part...i am not quite sure how it was do tell me honestly...😊next part page 28
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