Why MaAn want to keep a mother away from her child? - Page 12

Originally posted by: SanchiIndu

Also when Maya said she kept an eye on choti any all the time so when they tried to adopt her why she didn't react back then

I know it's a serial and anyone can come at any point of time। Still Anuj can ask this valid question

She met with an accident and was in a coma so she was not in a state to react either apparently.

Originally posted by: shubhK2308

I understand, I am not really questioning why Maya left CA, she must have had a genuine reason to do so.

But the point here is of thinking from child and her foster parents point of view.

I agree,that Anu has not been a good mother,but Anuj has become very attached to her.

Just imagine,if a child has been in the orphanage for so many years, and finally someone comes along to take care of child, give them a good life,good education and love in the form of foster parents, and the become a family, connection and love builds.

Now all of a sudden, a biological parents pops out of nowhere...then what will the child and foster parents mind go through.

And it's not only about adopting any kid, Anuj felt an instant connection with Anu when they had visited the orphanage,that's why he brought her into his home, and loves her like his own daughter.

So,he will obviously behave the way he is behaving right now,because for him, emotionally CA is his daughter, even if not biologically, so no parent can deal with their kid being taken away from them.

And some relations are bigger and better than blood also,not just saying in the case of Maya, because I know DPK will spoil the story here as well, but in general also.

Well do you really think a small child that has been with a couple for barely a few months where she has mostly been neglected, been demeaned by her mother's ex in laws not want to go back to their actual parents? A child in most cases feels secure with his own blood, the insecurity of being adopted will be less if they were with their actual parents. Children who are adopted behave differently with adults who aren't their parents as compared to those who have been with their biological parents since the start or adoptive parents without knowing it. There will always be a curiosity to know about their actual parents, the situation or circumstances that led to being given up etc.

Now if I were to imagine a child who believed they were orphans but found out later that their parents are still around, they may be upset at the start but not being able to get their parents acceptance would affect them more over reuniting with their true parents, fact is blood is always thicker than water, its not just adults who wants their own biological kids even kids atleast most of them want their own biological parents and would rather be with them irrespective of what happened in the past.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

Well said.

Point is with whom CA is more attached. In normal scenario, CA should be more attached to anuj. There are chances that separation from anuj can cause emotional turbulence in her life or can disturb her for whole life

here, she wants maaya too. How can a kid become so close to anyone in just 2 days. I feel, biological term is beyond a child of this age group. But CA is exceptional.

In most cases, kids don't want to leave the person with which he/she has been living.

On this context, I want to share story of my close friend. She decided to leave her husband..inlaws did not let her take 1 yr son thinking that she would come herself for her child. Now, case is in court,. It has been more than 5 yrs.

Now, my friend says that kya karoo fight karke, ab mera beta mujhe theek se jaanta hi nahi, wohi nahi aana chahta. What can be more important than the well being and happiness of my child.

The girl I am talking about is intelligent, have govt job, standard of living is much better than inlaws. it's for sure can give better life than her husband.

Then your friend has suffered injustice and should continue fighting for her rights. The father's family brainwashed the son against her and she is just giving up? The son should know the truth, especially her side of the story for him to decide. How can she just give up? If I was in your friend's place then I would have not left the kid at the in laws place and would have taken him either by hook or crook be it picking him up from school without their knowledge and then filing the case. Your friend should not give up.

I agree to disagree.

Your true parents,I believe are always the ones who brought you up with care and love,not just because they are biologically related.

For example,Anuj himself told during the Christmas party when it was revealed that he was an adopted kid, that he never felt the need to find out his true parents and know who they were because for him the ones who gave him everything are his real parents.

Yes,many might have a curiosity to know who their real parents are,but many a times,the kids also develop a grudge and hatred against their parents who had abandoned them or left them for whatever reason, it requires a lot of maturity for the kid to understand and forgive their real parents for the reason they were given up.

And as for adoption,it's not really necessary for the kid to know that he/she is adopted,many parents never disclose the fact to their adopted kids in fear of making them feel insecure or they end up telling them when they are mature enough to understand.

So,I agree to disagree that blood is always thicker than water...I believe real relations last only when there is love from both sides.

There are many instance where biological parents also end up abusing their kids.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

Thank God, yeh nahi bola, stapoo khelte hai, jo jeeta bacchi usiki. Mei jab choti thi toh aishe hi karti thee

Have you seen romantic scene in between which she got excited seeing the flat stone

5 min ka stapoo par lecture diya iss bandi ne.. Yeh na jaada flat hai, na mota hai..... Na sharp hai....

Itne din se chotti ko chahiye tha. Mai kab se dhoondh rahi thi.

Iss aurat ko kaun samjhaye, itna dhoondne ki jaroorat nahi hai... Aisi kaunsi cheez hai jo market mei nahi milti. Marble ki shop se le aati. Online bhiilta hai. automatic sensor light laa sakti hai toh ek stapoo bhi kharid leti.. Businezz woman sadak par pathar dhoond rahi hai bolo.

Kudos to you 🤗 i hope you will soon adopt a little one and give all the love the kid deserves 😊❤️

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

Well said.

Point is with whom CA is more attached. In normal scenario, CA should be more attached to anuj. There are chances that separation from anuj can cause emotional turbulence in her life or can disturb her for whole life

here, she wants maaya too. How can a kid become so close to anyone in just 2 days. I feel, biological term is beyond a child of this age group. But CA is exceptional.

In most cases, kids don't want to leave the person with which he/she has been living.

On this context, I want to share story of my close friend. She decided to leave her husband..inlaws did not let her take 1 yr son thinking that she would come herself for her child. Now, case is in court,. It has been more than 5 yrs.

Now, my friend says that kya karoo fight karke, ab mera beta mujhe theek se jaanta hi nahi, wohi nahi aana chahta. What can be more important than the well being and happiness of my child.

The girl I am talking about is intelligent, have govt job, standard of living is much better than inlaws. it's for sure can give better life than her husband.

Originally posted by: shubhK2308

I agree to disagree.

Your true parents,I believe are always the ones who brought you up with care and love,not just because they are biologically related.

For example,Anuj himself told during the Christmas party when it was revealed that he was an adopted kid, that he never felt the need to find out his true parents and know who they were because for him the ones who gave him everything are his real parents.

Yes,many might have a curiosity to know who their real parents are,but many a times,the kids also develop a grudge and hatred against their parents who had abandoned them or left them for whatever reason, it requires a lot of maturity for the kid to understand and forgive their real parents for the reason they were given up.

And as for adoption,it's not really necessary for the kid to know that he/she is adopted,many parents never disclose the fact to their adopted kids in fear of making them feel insecure or they end up telling them when they are mature enough to understand.

So,I agree to disagree that blood is always thicker than water...I believe real relations last only when there is love from both sides.

There are many instance where biological parents also end up abusing their kids.

Yes there are instances where biological parents also end up abusing their kids but that is a rarity rather than the norm. Blood is always thicker than water, a kid who had been brought up from the start will obviously not want to leave his adoptive parents owing to the attachment and bond developed but the same cannot be said for children who know they are adopted given they were taken in late or are living in foster homes knowing the arrangement is temporary. Anu has been with Anuj only for 4 or 5 months whereas Maaya had her for 9 months in her womb and 1 year post birth I.e. longer than him, you can't dismiss a biological parent just because they did not raise the child, if they were in a helpless situation where they had they had to part ways then they deserve the chance to reunite with their children at all cost, even the child on learning the same wouldn't want to stay with the foster family because most of them do go back to their birth parents and prefer them over their foster parents.

Let me tell you about myself, my parents left me with my grandparents when I was just a year old because my dad had to leave the country for work and my mom too had got a job there but they couldn't take me with them for some reason, my grandparents literally took care of me for some 2 or 3 years to a point where I believed that they were my actual parents until my mother and father came back and forcefully took me back with them which was like around when I turned 5, was I upset? Yes I was, in fact I am still more attached to my grandparents but that doesn't mean I hated my parents because I was able to cope up with it and came to terms with what happened and understood their situation.

The children only hate or develop a grudge towards their real parents if they never came back for them and just abandoned them for real. If there is a hope of reuniting with one's biological family the child in most cases living in foster homes would run to their parents. It's not about that they left, its about them coming back to take responsibility and make amends and that is not only allowable but a must.

Moreover in India we all know how adopted kids get treated especially by the relatives. I am planning to adopt and my grandmother was so much against it, even my parents are not very pleased to know about it. Tomorrow if I'm successful in having the child there is no guarantee that the people around me won't treat them like an outsider because I know how much they would rather have me get married and have an assisted pregnancy rather than adopt, then there is matter of socialising within the family where almost everyone from what I feel would treat them like an outsider. Even if the parents love the child they can't shield them from the abuses or alienated treatment from society and relatives. I means just look at how Baa treats CA whenever she goes near Pari.

If I were in the child's place in spite of wanting to adopt I know for a fact that I would rather be with my own blood than endure that sort alienation from people around me calling me adopted. Frankly the word adopted itself is used as a way of mocking kids.

Originally posted by: SanchiIndu

Also when Maya said she kept an eye on choti any all the time so when they tried to adopt her why she didn't react back then

I know it's a serial and anyone can come at any point of time। Still Anuj can ask this valid question

Anuj can ask valid question that would be a fair point to ask. Maya can say or should say in return, my daughter is in better care with her bio-mom than your place. Maya can make valid point of her own too.

1. Security is very lack.

2. Your wife neglects her duties toward my child for her own grown kids, and family.

3. On few occasion neither you or your wife have protect my child being mistreated by her grown batimaaz kids and her ex-mother in-law.
4. Your child that you love so much was sick on that farm house with fever neither you or your wife bother to check to see how she was doing, if you did, you would find out that my child has a fever.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

i do not know how many families are okay with adoption. Ppl prefer their own blood or relatives kid than adopting orphan. Atleast in my town hardly i know only family who has adopted kid that too they adopted within the family.

Considering CA was in mumbai may be yes she should have been adopted but there could be many reason why she was not adopted.

1. Ppl usually prefer male child. I still see ppl preferring male child.

2. Some parents do not adopt small infants as its risky if both are working.

3. CA was bit bold and brave. Like in first epi she gave it back to that guy who was demeaning her. Its possible that ppl never liked her for this attitude as most of parents prefer girls who are calm and being a adopted parents they may feel this girl has tantrums.

There could be multiple reasons which I can think of but tbh god knows why she was not adopted and why maya came now 😆

I know my father wouldn’t be ok with any of his children adopting. My late paternal grandfather was doctor in Pakistan before he lost his battle to cancer in the 50’s. He and my Dadi had six kids of their own plus my adopted uncle of his late patient.

My grandfather’s patient was sick through out her pregnancy and as she was giving birth and few minutes after giving birth, before dying she asked my grandfather to please adopt her son as her in-law’s were poor and couldn’t afford another mouth to feed. Her husband had passed away so my family did.

My dad’s family raised him, educated, but as soon as he found out at (22)yrs of age that he was not my grandparents biological child, he left home.

For a while there he would write, call, promise to visit but no one has seen and heard from him since 1975.

We have been told from his friends over the yrs, he moved to Iran, then Germany but my family has had no contact with him.

I would love to adopt in past, I have mentioned it to my husband after we got married and wanted to start our family. I felt instead of having bio-kids of our own. Why not give a child already here living in an orphanage with no parents a better home and life.

I had already convinced my husband that we could go back to Pakistan, or here in USA and see what the process would be like until we mentioned our idea to my parents one day over family dinner and my father was quite through out the dinner until we’ll we’re having tea in the living room and he said no adopting and give us his reasoning.

My husband is the oldest Daamaad and very close to my dad, he heard my dad’s reasoning and decide we wouldn’t adopt either.

That one bad example in the family caused none of the other 3 brothers, two sisters to ever allow their children to adopt kids.