Why MaAn want to keep a mother away from her child? - Page 13

Originally posted by: Rein123

Well do you really think a small child that has been with a couple for barely a few months where she has mostly been neglected, been demeaned by her mother's ex in laws not want to go back to their actual parents? A child in most cases feels secure with his own blood, the insecurity of being adopted will be less if they were with their actual parents. Children who are adopted behave differently with adults who aren't their parents as compared to those who have been with their biological parents since the start or adoptive parents without knowing it. There will always be a curiosity to know about their actual parents, the situation or circumstances that led to being given up etc.

Now if I were to imagine a child who believed they were orphans but found out later that their parents are still around, they may be upset at the start but not being able to get their parents acceptance would affect them more over reuniting with their true parents, fact is blood is always thicker than water, its not just adults who wants their own biological kids even kids atleast most of them want their own biological parents and would rather be with them irrespective of what happened in the past.

You have a point. I have not thought that far. An adopted child may be emotionally more vulnerable and has his own insecurities. cant say, when and in which situation, a feeling like" the world would be different if I have real parents" hits him. As he grows, he may face issues with self-esteem.

If seen from Anuj's side.... He himself is adopted and well aware of the feelings and emotions of an adopted child. Even after getting love from his parents, a life that kids dream of, and a person like GK, anuj always complains and uses the word orphan, watchman, guard time and again for himself, he should be the first one to hand over CA to her mother.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

You have a point. I have not thought that far. An adopted child may be emotionally more vulnerable and has his own insecurities. cant say, when and in which situation, a feeling like" the world would be different if I have real parents" hits him. As he grows, he may face issues with self-esteem.

If seen from Anuj's side.... He himself is adopted and well aware of the feelings and emotions of an adopted child. Even after getting love from his parents, a life that kids dream of, and a person like GK, anuj always complains and uses the word orphan, watchman, guard time and again for himself, he should be the first one to hand over CA to her mother.

And that is what I found very strange given how he isn't able to relate to CA. Even if you are attached to her that doesn't mean you hold her back against her will or ask her mother to get lost.

Originally posted by: Snowstorm22

I know my father wouldn’t be ok with any of his children adopting. My late paternal grandfather was doctor in Pakistan before he lost his battle to cancer in the 50’s. He and my Dadi had six kids of their own plus my adopted uncle of his late patient.

My grandfather’s patient was sick through out her pregnancy and as she was giving birth and few minutes after giving birth, before dying she asked my grandfather to please adopt her son as her in-law’s were poor and couldn’t afford another mouth to feed. Her husband had passed away so my family did.

My dad’s family raised him, educated, but as soon as he found out at (22)yrs of age that he was not my grandparents biological child, he left home.

For a while there he would write, call, promise to visit but no one has seen and heard from him since 1975.

We have been told from his friends over the yrs, he moved to Iran, then Germany but my family has had no contact with him.

I would love to adopt in past, I have mentioned it to my husband after we got married and wanted to start our family. I felt instead of having bio-kids of our own. Why not give a child already here living in an orphanage with no parents a better home and life.

I had already convinced my husband that we could go back to Pakistan, or here in USA and see what the process would be like until we mentioned our idea to my parents one day over family dinner and my father was quite through out the dinner until we’ll we’re having tea in the living room and he said no adopting and give us his reasoning.

My husband is the oldest Daamaad and very close to my dad, he heard my dad’s reasoning and decide we wouldn’t adopt either.

That one bad example in the family caused none of the other 3 brothers, two sisters to ever allow their children to adopt kids.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

similar thing happens here one couple adopted a child from his relative as they could not concieve and gave that child a life. But later once the kid grown up they started torturing these couples. They don't have any respect for their foster parents. These examples actually make society think twice about adopting a kid. But i feel its nothing to do with adoption its majorly a badluck and now a days not all kids will take care of their parents. Parents also need to ensure they should have enough savings for their retirements and make kids work once they are done with college.

Very true! That generation in which my husband and I grow up as desi kids saw our parents take care of their parents is long gone.

My husband and I have taken care of his parents while both were alive and now we do our best with my parents financially as possible since neither he nor I live in the same city or State as them.

It is very difficult taking care of them living across country. We support them as much as we can,visit as often as our careers allows. Have them visit us once a year.

I am not sure if our now-grown kids would do the same, and take care of us in our old age. We talk about this ever so often. We are both very grateful for our savings, his retirement plan from his career, and mine.

Honestly, if my kids just depend on themselves and their savings, careers, and right choices. Not do stupid stuff, I would be ok with them just taking care of their lives and family.

Originally posted by: firewings_diya

not sure if it happens in reality i have seen in shows that till they pass judge ment kid will stay with parents on rotation basis. Why she was kept away from kid. Did she not put any appeal in the court get temporary custody or custody on rotation basis.

what I have seen the cases are not solved so easily, sometimes, it takes years and in between the separated parent does not allow his/her kid to meet another parent or other family members. in these cases and when a kid is small, how can a kid be attached or feel connected with another parent?

off-topic, I have also seen so many women ( living with husbands) who do not allow their kids to meet grandparents bcoz of their personal issues with them though they crave to meet them or talk to them. its very complicated to understand.. maybe egos are bigger than humanity, children.

Originally posted by: Rein123

And that is what I found very strange given how he isn't able to relate to CA. Even if you are attached to her that doesn't mean you hold her back against her will or ask her mother to get lost.

I was thinking the same too. It was like to him she was a doll maybe not a real person with feelings.🤦🏻‍♀️

How are you going to tell a child, she can’t talk to her mother who she just found out existed? How are you telling her your mama and paapa are here while she is asking for her bio-mother? You would think he of all people would understand being from a similar setting.

I get his emotion are raw right now, everyone but Anu’s in this situation is. They all love this child but no one is thinking about how she feels or wants.

Originally posted by: Snowstorm22

I was thinking the same too. It was like to him she was a doll maybe not a real person with feelings.🤦🏻‍♀️

How are you going to tell a child, she can’t talk to her mother who she just found out existed? How are you telling her your mama and paapa are here while she is asking for her bio-mother? You would think he of all people would understand being from a similar setting.

I get his emotion are raw right now, everyone but Anu’s in this situation is. They all love this child but no one is thinking about how she feels or wants.

on a lighter note

there is no logic behind any track but the name CA has logic. She is like Anupamaaaa. usse bhi sab chahiye. maaya bhi anu bhi. abhi tak pakhi didi, papa nanu, nani, mucchad uncle, toshu bhayia, pari chahiye the. jo hurt karne ke alawa kuh nahi arte.

ab maa...ya chahiye. jisse mile hue 2 din hue.

but isse bhi ankush (bade papa ) or barkha (badi mumma) se kuch lena dena nahi hai; jo iski care karte hai, isse pyaar bhi karte hai.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

on a lighter note

there is no logic behind any track but the name CA has logic. She is like Anupamaaaa. usse bhi sab chahiye. maaya bhi anu bhi. abhi tak pakhi didi, papa nanu, nani, mucchad uncle, toshu bhayia, pari chahiye the. jo hurt karne ke alawa kuh nahi arte.

ab maa...ya chahiye. jisse mile hue 2 din hue.

but isse bhi ankush (bade papa ) or barkha (badi mumma) se kuch lena dena nahi hai; jo iski care karte hai, isse pyaar bhi karte hai.

If MAA can have 4 kids and 3 mooh boli kids, then why cant CA have two mothers? Us Bacchi Ko Kyun Batna Padegi? Kyun, kyun, kyun

havent anuj & anupama legally adopted choti?

Originally posted by: naq5

havent anuj & anupama legally adopted choti?

They are not eligible to adopt her. Second why do they want to adopt when she has a mother that is alive? They are coming across as children snatchers given they aren't leaving any opportunity to berate Maaya by calling her cunning, evil, having some conspiracy in her mind etc. So far nothing of that has been shown so why attack her personally.

When Devaki was forced to give up her child no body is judging her saying jab mann kiya toh chod diya so why say this to her without even consider her POV? And 15 days? Like seriously? Is this some kind of a gamble where CA is the prize?MaAn are Playing mind games with Maaya I suppose.