NOTE: This story is set in a version where Dr.Farid and Kausar are in a marriage of convenience in order to protect Kausar and Seher from Parvez,who is hell bent on revenge and getting custody of Seher.(I know this is very tropey but premise was too good to resist).
Kausar stood on the terrace watching the stars,the wind whipping her hair around. Finding herself alone,she had opted to leave her head uncovered.After nearly six months of legal hassle and running away from her now ex husband,she was finally at peace.Seher had finally started focussing on her boards and preparing for her entrance exams.If everything went well,she'd finally get into a nice medical college.Kausar herself wasn't doing too badly herself.She had disocvered a passion for writing after reading one of Mr.Qadri's poetry books.The way the words seemed to weave a pattern around her always made her heart leap.
She had written a couple of poems and hidden them carefully underneath her mattress,only to be found by an inquisitive Amaal.The girl had insisted on showing them to her father and had to be bribed with extra homework help to keep the poetry a secret.She doubted Dr.Farid would be too happy with the arrangement though.Her language was mediocre at its best and not exactly up to modern standards.
A flash of lightning followed by the distant rumble of thunder startled her.To her joy,the skies darkened and started pelting rain.She closed her eyes and let her skin soak up the rain.It felt liberating,to be out alone,without a pair of eyes constantly watching her,out of suppressed anger or concern.She felt like herself for the first time in years.It took nearly an hour for the rain to abate and she finally went back inside,looking a sopping mess but feeling happier.
Everyone had gone to bed and the house was completely dark.Deciding to avoid disturbing the others,she decided to avoid lights or candles and started feeling her way to her room.It turned out to be quite a challenge for she was still unfamiliar with the layer of the house.A sudden flash of lightning made her jump and she accidentally stubbed her toe.Cursing,she bent down and rubbed the hurt digit aggressively.
A chuckle startled her.
"Who knew Mrs.Kausar had it in her to curse?What would Seher say if she heard her mother use such words?"
Kausar felt her cheeks redden,thankful for the dark which hid her blush from doctor Farid.
"I'm sure she wouldn't mind....." Her voice trailed off,unsure of what the doctor thought of her.She knew she wasn't as elegant and refined as him.Once upon a time,it wouldn't have bothered her but the divorce had taken a toll on her.She could still hear Parvez taunting her, as he had shown up during her nikkah to the doctor.
"No man in his right mind would want you.",he had hissed as the security dragged him away.
Farid's laugh jolted her and she couldn't help but smile back.
"Let's try asking her tomorrow morning.Now let's get you back to bed."
To her surprise,he took her hand,only to pull it back.
" Kausar,you're soaked to the bone.Where you out in the rain?"he asked her disapprovingly.
She felt a flash of irritation.
"So what if I were?"
"I mean...matlab...I don't want you to fall ill." He stammered.
"I'll be fine."she replied and made to leave. However she walked right into him.He caught her by the shoulders and steadied her.
" I'm so sorry"she whispered,mortified.
He cleared his throat,"It's alright."
They stood in awkward silence until Kausar pulled away,suddenly realizing their proximity.
" Kausar,do you think you could watch the rain with me?" He asked rather wistfully.
Kausar frowned.This request was very out of character for him.Deciding to dig deeper,she agreed.He took her hand and the two of them returned to the terrace.
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Fareed nearly gasped when he saw the torrential downpour.There was something very primal and intoxicating about the storm.He turned to speak to Kausar and was completely awestruck.She was smiling,her perpetual sadness vanishing as she took in the storm.He had often compared her to a force of nature and now he had evidence presented before his very eyes.
" It's beautiful isn't it?"she whispered.
He nodded dumbly,lost for words.Without warning,she pulled him into the rain.
"Kausar!" but his reprimand was lost in the howl of the wind.He was soaked completely in a couple of minutes.His heart started beating wildly,as it swelled up with undescribable emotions.
"Doctor,are you quite alright?" her voice managed to cut through.
He nodded.
"But you're crying." She noted sadly,caressing his cheek,in an unprecedented show of compassion.He had no words left.He caught her hand and leaned into it,closing his eyes even as they burned with tears.To her credit , she didn't pull away.Instead she lead him to the parapet wall and sat down,pulling him down with her.
The two of them leaned against the wall.Unable to hold back,the dam broke and Fareed started crying.Kausar gently patted his back and waited for him to get his feelings out if his system.The storm soon reduced to a drizzle and before long,they found themselves on an extremely wet terrace,soaked to the bone,teeth chattering in the cold.
It took a while for Fareed to finally calm down but he didn't let go of Kausar's hand,instead bringing their joined hands to his lap and covering it with the other.They sat in silence.
"Are you alright?" She asked him gently.
"No,but I will be."
She simply nodded.
"Aren't you going to ask me about it?" He probed.
"No.If you wanted to talk,you would have already done so.I can't force you."
He chuckled weakly,gently caressing her hand.
"Thank you."
She shrugged and turned her gaze towards the sky.
"I have always loved looking at the stars.I imagined other worlds with alternative versions of Kausar.Kausars who lived happier lives,Kausars who didn't need anyone,Kausar, the doctor,Kausar,the pilot,sometimes even Kausar,the prime minister.I could see them clearly,back at our village.But now,there's nothing,just blinding lights.There are no dreams to ease the pain,just a long winding road of suffering."
" You're free of him."he said quietly." Parvez can longer harm you."
" True that,"she ammended," but I lost 16 years of my life to him.Most of my childhood and my twenties."
"How old were you when you got married?"
" I was fourteen and Parvez was 19."
" Why?"
" My family owed him a blood debt.It was either my father's head or my life.I honestly wished it had been my father's head."
" Kausar!"he gasped,apalled.
" What?I have never pretended to love my father.He used me to get what he wanted."
" I'm sure he loves you."
" And yet he made me pay the price for his poor decisions."she snapped.
Fareed was at a loss.He had never seen her so incensed.She suddenly pulled away and got up.
" It's getting late,I should probably leave.Good night, Dr.Fareed,sleep well."
He watched her retreating back,feeling a void open up inside him.
Anupamaa
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