Many miscellaneous matters - Page 2

Originally posted by: NiharikaMishra

1. What is the punishment for infidelity?

My opinion here may not be liked by everyone here but adultery is not criminally punishable by law and I think that if people are not compatible, they should part ways. The crime here is cruelty in marriage which is the mental harassment Vanraj has done for many years on Anupamaa. If you consider it in a Karmic and non-practical way, Vanraj succeeded in his life until Anupamaa was content, in her own gaslighted and detrimental way, she thought she was happy. But things went downhill for him ever since he was exposed and yet did not work on either fixing thing or amicably parting ways. So I do consider cruelty in marriage and attempted defamation are definitely his crimes for which he should be charged. But in most of these situations, Anupamaa is the one who has invited trouble. So that's debatable too.

2. Are the senior Shahs repeating mistakes?

Not Shahs but just Vanraj and Leela. Vanraj has been lucky to be married to women who swoon over him to the edges of toxicity and self-harm which has made him think that just because women will stick to him through thick and thin, he can treat them like dirt. When Kavya was his gf, he was super desperate to keep her with him at all times, to the point of even making out with her in his home. But once married he is no longer interested. And all Leela can do is extrapolate her son's qualities and assume he can never do wrong. Her initial fear to lose Anupamaa was because she assumed Kavya will mistreat her. But when she realized she can mould her into another doormant, she was back to "My son is the best" incantations.

3. Is the MaAn portrayal a drag fest?

I couldn't agree more. This whole exercise is now becoming a way for Anupamaa and Hasmukh to prove a point. She had all chances to leave the place and have a mature marriage with Anuj, but she is constantly putting him on stake to keep her minions happy. In Bengali version, the straw that broke this marriage's back wasn't separation but Anuj's death, I mean all this toxic stress had to pile up to something venomous, hadn't it?

All that I see him doing is making attempts to make Anupamaa feel good at HER terms. Those consistent taunts could have been avoided if they had married in Anuj's hotel or his house, but aren't Anupamaa's tears her second skin?

1. My point was, invariably, in adultery the victim is subject to emotional vulnerability due to the falsehood of the spouse. It is as good as cheating and should be punishable and not in cash. But as one of the members pointed, it is difficult to prove and is a whole separate discussion i guess.

2. It is everyone, Mr.Hansmukh Shah and Dollyben. What efforts have they made to accept Kavya as Vanraj's wife and as such in decision making involving the Shahs. They blame Kavya solely for the problems notwithstanding equal and more responsibility of Vanraj.

3. Hence i liked Neena Gupta's "Saans" a similar plot on Star Plus better.

Originally posted by: Bechain_Bulbul

There is punishment for infidelity but it needs to be proved in court. Proving infidelity and bigamy is very very diffcult when it comes to evidences acceptable by law.

Wife has a right to demand alimony if she is dependent on husband. Anupama could have demanded it but she chose divorce by mutual consent. She thought that she just want to end the relationship and not drag vanraj into court for infidelity or asking for money because she felt enough of her life has ruined she doesn't want to waste a single second over vanraj. She wants azaadi from this marriage asap and only divorce by mutual consent is the way for it. She was "swabhimaani" so she didn't take monetary help/alimony from vanraj and chose to walk out of mad house and it was only after bapuji named house in her name giving her right to live there then only she stopped.

However not leaving shah house was a foolish move. They continued to abuse/exploit her, made her work like servant even after divorce.

Vanraj didn't want to marry kavya so he was kind of forced into it which serves him well. If you see from one point of view then Yes the abusers got what they wanted in the end and only anupama had to bear injustice but from another pov anupama walked out of that sorry excuse of a relationship with her head held high, she didn't turn negative and seek revenge from them by doing police complaint or troubling them by not giving divorce. She had wasted enough of her life in that cage and she just broke free from it. Instead of wasting time in getting vengeful she concentrated on her personal growth and moving on.

And about maan portrayal...it is a drag fest sometimes. Their teenager like romance is boring and stupid most of the time but i guess the the freshness brought by anuj's character, the need to see deprived and weak person getting all the happiness, love she deserves, is what keeping viewers glued to it. Recent engagement sequence didn't feel dragfest to me. I enjoyed it and the whole 90's songs are cute.

Very well put!! 👍🏼❤️

@blue - just reading those lines makes me feel good. Infact rekindles my hope... will we see those days again?

@bold - The show's storyline derailed right from that point onwards!!

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Inputs inline.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Yes, why?

Originally posted by: BaAZiGar0

i asked cuz you are in the minority with your opinions of kavya. was wondering if it was cuz you hadnt see it from the beginning, but obviously you are looking at her from your own lens of understanding.

Doesn't look like it. People seem to be having a similar opinion. Ofcourse her having an affair with Vanraj was wrong but Vanraj was equally or more wrong. To expect every DIL to be Anupama is not realistic.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Doesn't look like it. People seem to be having a similar opinion. Ofcourse her having an affair with Vanraj was wrong but Vanraj was equally or more wrong. To expect every DIL to be Anupama is not realistic.

Originally posted by: BaAZiGar0

i guess my thing is that other than feeling pity towards her as a fellow woman, it's hard to envision that happy ending for her.

Well, its more than that, right.

What are the reasons we dislike Kavya?

- Is it because she and Vanraj cheated Anupama and the family with an extra-marital affair? Absolutely right and justified.

- Is it because she has created a scene in every event/function of the Shahs?

Not everything is black and white and we tend to hold the "other woman" more responsible or more accountable for the failure of the marriage than the man.

Kavya and Vanraj loved each other. One might say, the marriage was thrust on Vanraj. Ok, so, Vanraj wanted to stay married to Anupama so that she can take care of the family but keep loving Kavya? Why would anyone let alone Kavya, agree to this? Kavya had always been clear that she wanted a marriage.

As for how she has reacted as a result of insecurity, of non-acceptance is because of her being practical. Why would you expect everyone to be Anupama? How many women are this ALL sacrificing to the extent of losing one's identity? Even if they are, is it correct?

The bottomline is, her mistake was having an affair with Vanraj without anyone knowing. And for this, both Vanraj and Kavya are equally responsible. Not one over the other.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Well, its more than that, right.

What are the reasons we dislike Kavya?

- Is it because she and Vanraj cheated Anupama and the family with an extra-marital affair? Absolutely right and justified.

- Is it because she has created a scene in every event/function of the Shahs?

Not everything is black and white and we tend to hold the "other woman" more responsible or more accountable for the failure of the marriage than the man.

Kavya and Vanraj loved each other. One might say, the marriage was thrust on Vanraj. Ok, so, Vanraj wanted to stay married to Anupama so that she can take care of the family but keep loving Kavya? Why would anyone let alone Kavya, agree to this? Kavya had always been clear that she wanted a marriage.

As for how she has reacted as a result of insecurity, of non-acceptance is because of her being practical. Why would you expect everyone to be Anupama? How many women are this ALL sacrificing to the extent of losing one's identity? Even if they are, is it correct?

The bottomline is, her mistake was having an affair with Vanraj without anyone knowing. And for this, both Vanraj and Kavya are equally responsible. Not one over the other.

Originally posted by: BaAZiGar0

my problem with kavya is that she facilitated the affair with vanraj. i agree the blame and accountability can co-exist. but specific to this situation, i think she added to a problem that was already in place. vanraj was always going to treat anupamaa like sh*t. and we've seen this in the prequel. i guess i feel like she shouldve recognized that this man was making a mistake by stepping out on his wife. somewhere i still feel like she has moments of sanity (whereas i think vanraj is a lost cause). my biggest issue with kavya is that she went into that house day in and day out and saw how he treated anupamaa and instead of trying to help, she added to the problem. im not convinced that what van-kav have is love. it's more lust if you ask me. it's him having this pyt on his arm that he can show off with. if kavya is so practical why did she let this relationship with him go on for 9 years? i dont expect her to be mother theresa, but i do think that she needs to stop whining about how he doesnt take her anywhere and the lack of passion in their relationship. she saw how v treated anu, so what is she so shocked about now? did she really think she was gonna get girlfriend privileges as a wife?

Kavya was in love, as they say, "Blinded by love". I dont think anything else works at that time let alone practicality. If anything, she is practical and hence insisted on a marriage rather than staying as the other woman.

Besides, practicality and reasoning in love are two separate things.

She loved him, whether Vanraj loved Kavya can be a debatable topic. Whether Vanraj could love anyone is also debatable.

Kavya was a regular visitor into the Shah house and reasoned/concluded that Anupama was treated the way she was, in Vanraj's own words, because she was not this educated, modern, "English-speaking", ideal match he always dreamt of. Let alone him, their children were no less. She was Pakhi's bestie who she admired more than her own mother, who did Paritosh call when the Desai's came to speak to the Shah's about their children's wedding?

She was everything Vanraj wanted in a partner or atleast claimed to want in a partner.

Hence, for her to assume that she would be a better partner for Vanraj wasn't surprising.

Wasn't it Kavya who suggested Anupama (when Anupama and Vanraj were still married) get a job and try something new? We ALL knew what happened after that.

Kavya's regular visits, her closeness with Vanraj, Vanraj celebrating Kavya's promotion over Anupama's Birthday, ALL this were met with a blind eye when the writing was on the wall.

As for Kavya to be complaining. She was the person who Vanraj loved or atleast claimed to have loved. But he did not respect his equal partner.

Isn't she justified? Isn't she doing what every newly married couple feel about? Besides, she has (as one of the members pointed out) 2 MILs to deal with. Infact she has been wronged more in the scenario. She atleast had the guts to stand up for her love against ALL odds. What about Vanraj?

I think the reason why most of the people dont feel bad for kavya or dont even try to understand her pov is that she has time and again been come across as a selfish person. No one expects her to be another mahaanta aur balidaan ki murti like anupama but atleast she can show some basic self respect to herself and empathy to others.

Vanya affair was both kavya and vanraj's equal fault. She not noticing many red flags about her relationship with vanraj and his treatment of his spouse can be put under the carpet of, "love is blind". But the basic nature of her character is that of opportunist, selfish, mean amd greedy woman which can't go unnoticed for a long time.

I had so many expectations from her character. For once I thought she will not be shown as vamp just because she is practical, modern amd opinionated woman but makers turned her exactly into mini vamp if not full fledged vamp. I wanted to see her character development but first time she lost all respect from me when she went all psycho to get married to vanraj. I mean what the hell girl! That jerk refused to divorce his wife even after having affair with you for 9 years, he has cheated you in a way...he was never serious for the marriage. Instead of getting all vampy there, kavya should have herself dumped him and walk out from there. Next blow to my expectations came from her when she literally begged vanraj to not divorce her. What she did with house papers was absolutely wrong but still i took it as her insecurities. Vanraj failed to understand her and when he threw divorce papers on her face she forgot all her self respect and just begged before him. Then the last nail in the coffin for my respect for kavya was when anuj-anupama gave her job inspite knowing her nature, not one but two times but both the times she messed up, first time because of her ego and second time because of that same vanraj who gives a damn for her feelings. And not to forget in between all this , she keeps spilling venom like baa and rakhi dave on many occasions...tab kavya ki ultra modern approach aur english speaking style bhaad mein chali jati hai and she behaves like an unpadh gavaar mohalla aunty.

Uski inhi sab harkato ke karan koi usse relate nahi kar paata and koi sorry feel nahi karta uske liye.