Hide and seek is my favourite game...when my mother searched me...I used to hid behind the curtain...she knew where I hid...but she never pretend...she showed false search and then found... I used to jump in her lap...thus she got her little son and I got the cuddle I crave for! I was not expert in that game!
My father also love the game, he's expert too...he hid that he left us. He hid that he hate our nest and now living in a palace! He hid that he trapped a millionaire and married to her, and when I seek for him...and found him...he came out from that place...to give us sorrow and pain. I used to hide when he came to see us ...but he found me and beat me...I bleed but hid my pain...I slowly started learning the rules of the game.
My mother was also very good in this game! She hid that she had cancer. She hid that she knew about her husband's extra marital affaire and second marriage. She hid that she called that lady who snatched everything from her...to give her my responsibility...she hid that she's leaving me...forever! I cried but I hid my tear! I was seeking for love and care.
My step-mother also hid all her emotions from me, showed love and care, but didn't show her pain. When I entered my father's residence...I faced hatred and conspiracy against me! Surrounded by enemies I learn how to hide your inner fear! My new mother hid her helplessness from me, and my father hid all his concern from me!
I fell in love with someone! She also loved me! But she hid that she cheated on me! And I hide all my expectation from relationship like love, life-partner!
Seeing all these hide and seek game...I become expert in this! Now I know how to hide! So that nobody can find me! I hide...myself...in a strong muscular body and a sharp brain! And become callous person. I hide all my emotion, feelings, pain, and scars given by my nearest and once dearest! I hide inside a stone-like structure and devil like mind!
I hide my childhood and my innocence! Nobody will find the real me, cause I know, one who will find...will hurt me...now I am not ready to be bleed, to get pain, to get hurt! Now...it's their turn...I will strongest! Hiding myself I start seeking SUCCESS only! People start to tell that I am not less than DEMON! Aaahhh...my shell is unbreakable! I hide inside and I AM SEEKING FOR MY OWN SAFETY!
But why I feeling that this shells not enough strong in front of...YOU! Yes! I hate you from the very first day when I saw you! But inner me? I hide my emotion but you caught me! I cheated on you...you trusted on me! I hurt you...you supported me...I gave you pain and you give me relief...you raised my expectation which I quit many years ago...you give me all what I was seeking for...unknowingly! Throughout my life! You are breaking my armour ...that's why I hate you! You are seeking for real me, and I am afraid...you will get me! And then the game will be stop...forever!
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