Author’s Note:
I was really disappointed with how this track leading up to the divorce shaped up, the way each family member dumped all the blame on Abhira: be it about the deal marriage or disapproval regarding the Dev-Charu relationship. There is no way this family can ever redeem themselves in my eyes, no matter how much they whitewash the characters later on. Nobody deserves such excruciating mental torture, these constant mind games that Kaveri and Phuphasa play and the sheer toxicity that this family brings along; least of all, Abhira. Her mother sacrificed her own life to save Armaan and this kind of ehsaan farmoshi by Armaan (and his family) is unrealistic even by the standards of a desi serial. This is my attempt at creating a parallel universe since these characters are all fictional anyway, where Abhira gets the love, she wished for, her dream career and the family she deserves. Lest we forget that she is the main character of this season who could do so much better than a spineless male lead.
I have tried to stay as close to the current track as possible so that this could be an acceptable ending for the individuals (like me) who stop watching the show after/during this track.
Kindly forgive the grammatical errors since I doubt, I will get the time to proofread it and I sincerely hope this piece does not become too monotonous or draggy.
R E S U R G E NC E
Festering Wounds, Broken Heart and A Vow
Abhira had left the Poddar mansion just before the wedding rituals would have taken place. There was a sliver of momentary distraction when the bride was about to walk down to the groom who was waiting for her in the mandap. Abhira had used that chance to escape the notice of all the Poddar family members and the other nosey guests since they were all focused on the beautiful bride-to-be. Abhira straightened her spine and quietly marched towards the world that lay beyond the iron gate, towards her tomorrow before looking back just once. She looked back to Ruhi, who was at the top of the stairs and gulped. Ruhi was simply resplendent in her maroon bridal lehenga with zari embroidery and modern diamond pieces that Abhira herself had selected for her. She looked like the ideal rich bride of the Poddar family, the ideal badi bahu and the ideal wife of Armaan Poddar. Everything that Abhira could never mould herself into. However, it was not her outfit that had made Abhira gulp; it was the way Ruhi was looking towards the mandap, at the man waiting for her in the mandap. It was the look in Ruhi’s eyes that made Abhira freeze in her spot. It was as if this was all Ruhi had ever wanted in her life. It was as if…. this was the dream that Ruhi had envisioned for ages. It was as if she had always… wanted Armaan for herself, not for their family’s sake but wanted him as a woman wants a man. Suddenly, all the pieces clicked in and the realisation left Abhira reeling. She tried to stop herself from trying to process everything since now was not the time to do it and she had to get out now before she had a complete mental breakdown. So, Abhira once again straightened her spine and marched forward toward her liberation and out of this hell hole despite her shaking hands and numb feet. She dared not look back again, especially towards Armaan. It was partially because she was scared of what she would find in his eyes, probably relief to marry the one he dreamed of, probably love for his new wife or probably something more foreign. The other reason Abhira did not look back was because she had just promised herself to never look back into her past, at this tainted mansion and towards Armaan Poddar. This was the vow she would try to keep for a lifetime even if worst came to worst. This would be the end. Finally, Abhira left… with a firm vow, a broken heart and a feeling that she would never recover from this.
Scars That Run Too Deep
It had been a fortnight since Abhira had left Udaipur, a fortnight since that dreadful night of the wedding and a fortnight since the realisation had started to set in that it was Ruhi who was Armaan’s old girlfriend. Abhira had been prepared to leave Udaipur since the beginning of the wedding. She had realised that Phupha-sa simply would not let her survive in Udaipur, especially if she were to work in the legal world. That is when the lady of that wedding planning company offered her a generous salary that Abhira knew she couldn’t ignore if she were to consider the repairing cost of the resort. There were two things that Abhira Sharma could never let go of, her mamma’s dream of Abhira being an empathetic lawyer and the resort that had her mother’s memories attached to it. It was really ironic how she was holding on to a career that thrived on practicality but this career itself was borne out of trying to fulfil a sentimental emotion. That was life, she reasoned. That is why, she had given her best in arranging the wedding of Armaan and Ruhi, endured all the humiliation that Dadi-sa had made her go through and earned the money through her hard work. She had already told her boss that she would not be available till the reception since it was the wedding they had hired her for but it was the raw emotion in her voice that had conveyed more than any words could have about why she couldn’t even stay till the wedding could be completed. She assumed that the boss knew about her status as the ex-bahu of the Poddar family by now due to which out of pity, her boss had not forced her to stay till the completion of all the wedding rituals. After all, what could a wedding planner possibly do more than the way Abhira had juggled all the functions and given nobody the scope to complain about the grandeur of these events?
So, Abhira had already packed her bags beforehand, booked an overnight ticket to Delhi on a semi-sleeper bus and cashed the cheque that her boss had given her during the evening of the wedding. She transferred the amount of 30k to her kaka for repairing the resort while promising to send the remaining the next month, forwarded the money for the bus ticket to her colleague from whom she had borrowed it and dropped three quick messages to the people she felt had cared for her before destroying the sim of this number.
She inserted a new sim on her phone and bid goodbye to the room that had given her shelter for a month. She didn’t see the creepy landlord again which was a good thing indeed but she had left a strongly worded letter in the room that too, not only as Abhira the tenant but as a lawyer who had stated the repercussions of what would happen to him if he dared to cross the line with another woman or any tenant for that matter.
The moment she stepped on the bus, and took her seat, tears were rolling down her eyes. She still had not stopped shaking entirely, especially her hands. She was simply overwhelmed and exhausted. Of being lied to, of being despised, of being indifferent to and of existing. It hit her and it hit her hard. She wondered if she left any substantial impact at all on the people she was leaving behind. To the people, she had once cared about and to the man she left… who was happily marrying another. She kept running every situation in mind where she could have acted differently, what she could have done to… what? to make him love her. Ha. A bitter laugh escaped her and her co-passenger looked at her as if she lost her mind. She did not even realise when that bitter laugh had turned into a small sob. She quietly sobbed as the bus left the depot, and finally stopped shaking after a long time; long after the bus had left Udaipur far behind.
She had reached Delhi by early morning and she had not slept a wink during the whole bus ride. The realisation, the betrayal she felt had kept her all night. It was Delhi’s sweltering heat that had welcomed her, reminded her that this was her new reality and the sensation of that heat in her body jolted her aware. She had to get out of this fog, she told herself in a steady voice while wondering if it was this hot this early in the morning; what would happen to her by noon? However, Abhira knew she would get by, she had to: In Delhi and this new life she had chosen for herself.
She would not lie and say that she had not realised how the fortnight had passed by because that would simply be the untruth. She had felt every second passing by, it had felt like years. It might be because of the heat of the city if Abhira had to give an excuse but to be honest, it was actually due to her wounded mental state that she minutely felt every moment. She had tried to keep these emotions at bay as she knew that she had to adjust to a new life which would require all her efforts but it was easier said than done.
Abhirahad found suitable accommodation with a Paying Guest (PG) in Kamala Nagar when she first arrived. She had left her suitcase in the cloakroom of the bus station from which she had boarded and had left to search for accommodation since she did not want to carry her suitcase around everywhere. This time, she had decided that she would take the whole day to look at it before making any spontaneous decisions as she had in Udaipur with the creepy landlord. She had talked to several colleagues with whom she had become fast friends during the wedding planning and they had recommended her to stay in Kamala Nagar since it was affordable. She had researched about it and deemed it safe enough since that area was in the vicinity of the Delhi University campus. When she finally reached there and looked around for PGs which were advertised in abundance, she decided that she was making the right call. She finally found a PG she liked that had a sweet landlady, a good security system and provided food three times a day within her budget. She had to convince the landlady to let her shift today itself since she had no other accommodation but that sweet lady had agreed after some time of cajoling. Although, Abhira had to share the room with another person but Abhira had felt nothing but relief when her gut told her that this was the right step.
After that, Abhira fell into a fixed routine which persisted for a week before she got a good job offer. All Abhira did was, apply for interviews for the next two days after she had reached Delhi before she was finally called for one, another and then another. It was a shock for Abhira to realise how different these interview procedures were from the ones in Udaipur. These procedures were more professional, more thorough and had more levels than the ones she had previously given, even for a position of her calibre. She had fumbled in some, had felt unprepared in another but once she had an idea of what they expected, she had become increasingly confident.
In between all of that, she was trying to absorb Delhi and its ways in its entirety. The food, the people, the metro, they were all so overwhelming for her. She missed her mother terribly in her initial days and had wished more than once that her mother was there to hold her hand once again in all of this just as they had dreamed of. Days like those ended up in her falling into a melancholy, brooding in the metro, sometimes even forgetting the metro station she had to change to get to her station. The fourth day this had happened, Abhira had quietly gotten off at the nearest station which happened to be empty and had cried her heart out in the bench nearby before she sternly told herself that this would be the last time, she would be so absentminded. This was Delhi, a place unknown and not the safest place for a lone woman. She had to be more focused. Just as she had been waiting for the next one, she felt someone tap her shoulder. Abhira had not even been aware that there was someone nearby. Abhira looked towards the petite young woman who looked to be a college-going girl with the book in her hand, but the woman simply pressed something towards her hand that startled Abhira and said “This helps me during my bad days, I hope you overcome yours soon too!”. The young woman gave her a kind and guileless smile after which she skipped away towards the escalator, even before Abhira had the chance to process what had happened. Before Abhira had the chance to see that it was a chocolate that the woman had pressed in her hands, and the wrapper had a big smiley drawn with a black marker. Before Abhira could even say “Thank you” to the young woman. Before the young woman could see that Abhira had the biggest smile on her face in weeks which was real, and she did not have to fake this one like she had to fake the last few.
After weeks, Abhira felt as if, maybe things would be okay after all. Just because her scars were too deep did not mean that they would never fade away. She would make sure that they did, it would take time she knew but she would make sure that she outlived those scars by miles. It was the blossoming of hope that led her to feel this which she had found herself missing for the previous few weeks. The hope that good things existed, still exists. This hope that the young woman had resurged in her. Abhira never forgot the face of that young woman and what that gesture meant to her, even as life raged on.
PS: Thank you for reading so far if you have reached the end. Thank you for giving this a try. More often than not, we tend to forget the mental journey that any character/ person faces to reach a better place. ITV usually does not tend to focus on such things but this is a journey that fan fiction allows us. Trauma imprints on you in such ways that your whole life might change due to the impact of that trauma. You begin to make decisions differently and sometimes become a different person altogether. I imagine the Abhira that would emerge from this trauma would be slightly different if not altogether, maybe her mannerisms might not change but something in her core might. I wanted to explore her mental state and see where her journey leads us. Remember friends, after you reach rock bottom, the only place left to go is upwards and it takes healing for a flight towards your journey.
Precap: Abhira meets the One.
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