Is eloping a good decision in real life? - Page 4

Unfortunately this change isn’t happen anytime soon! This is prevailing in all the generations! Spoiling male child by constantly telling him ‘Be a Man, Mard bano’, society is constantly putting them on higher pedestal than Woman! Everytime someone starts a sentence with ‘Aap ek aurat hoke bhi’ , unconsciously the bias is being fed to our brains!

Originally posted by: chremma

But that is what happens in a marriage right? like when your parents find a nice partner who can provide for you, look after you they marry you to him. Then also you leave behind your birth family and start living new life with your husband.The only difference is that when you elope the guy is not chosen by your family.

And i get it that you should show gratitude to your external family, but if they are being blind to your pain, feelings and sufferings then? And if you think that by sacrificing your happiness you're showing your gratitude then thats nonsense.

For a parent all their children are equal and they would'nt want their one child to sacrifice their happiness for the other, but on the other hand the grandaparents or the uncle aunts can be biased between two children and can neglect one child for the other.And if that neglected child has always suffered, due to their conditioning then they have the right to chose their happiness over family?

@bold

Ofcourse whether arranged by parents or eloped the couple do have to leave the parents and stay separate. But the difference is that if the partnership doesnt work out or in times of need, they will always guide you and morally, emotionally, physically and even financially will always support you. In case of elope, and especially if she is not independent, in face of trouble, life will be a real struggle.

When we have kids, grandparents are the only ones whom we can leave the kids without a second thought.

Some parents too can be blind your emotions but that doesnt give the licence to elope. Its always better to take the time and convince them. And secondly they can with their experienced eye see certain things which the couple involved may not especially if they are at a younger age.

As in POV of Adult it's good decision. They will get the life what they dreams of. My parents marriage was love marriage. For 20 years no one cared for us. Our life is happy. But as I child I really don't agree to that because these 20 years we were yearning for grand parents and relatives love. But when I matured enough to understand everything that 20 years was bliss. Then every marriage has their own pblm whether it is love or arranged. And that time every parent came to support their child whether they got married with their approval or not.

After 20 years anyway family United. ( In maternal family everyone loved my father, they just don't talk to my mother and to us.but they cared for us. They now also adores him. And here my father's family loves my mother. And everyone over our locality jealous of my mother because he take care of her as a Queen. It is true and I have lived the life.)

I always tell my husband to learn something from my father. He is a good husband and father .💞

Originally posted by: borntorule12

I wanted to know views of forum members( as a rational person) - is it okay to elope and marry in real life ?

Since we watch a show, sometimes I feel it's important to ponder on things.

Don't you think abhimanyu- a reputed 30's something surgeon is behaving immature and asking a girl whom he knows loves her family a lot since day 1 to ditch her fam and get married to him? Isn't it highly immature. You can't ditch your family for a guy you've started loving. What if that guy and you have a major fight then who will take stand for you if you never involved family in the first place?

How is Akshara wrong here ? She is the right one as however, whatever her family is like they are the ones who have loved her/ cared for her since 20-22 years of her existence.

My honest answer to this is that if your family and you have that level of love, maturity and understanding then there will never be any option to elope because such families discuss the differences and issues together to come to a sensible solution. There needs to be that foundation of trust and love between the elders and the children.

If the family lacks this then naturally the family structure is already broken and the kids will elope.

With Akshara, she is putting them first despite being ignored (I think she is) and personally, I feel that is very noble of her but a little tiring to watch. What good is it doing to anyone to watch Akshara become a doormat for everyone around her? Honestly, how is that thrilling to watch? Does it make sense? I think her character needs to develop and grow now and her running away will be a good character arch. It makes sense for her to elope because I can only see it as a volcano finally erupting after being dormant for s long time. Akshara has kept all her pain and sorrow deep inside and it would be so refreshing to see her drop the baggage of her family. And let's face it, the goencas need to be taught a lesson for neglecting their own child. It's not enough just to feed and provide a shelter for her.

Only her running away will teach them that she always liked Abhi but nobody gave it importance.

As for Abhi, he should stop being a mamas boy and buckle up. Say no to the marriage but I'd peronsally love to see Harsh's shattered reaction if Abhira eloped 😆

Originally posted by: borntorule12

I wanted to know views of forum members( as a rational person) - is it okay to elope and marry in real life ?

Since we watch a show, sometimes I feel it's important to ponder on things.

Don't you think abhimanyu- a reputed 30's something surgeon is behaving immature and asking a girl whom he knows loves her family a lot since day 1 to ditch her fam and get married to him? Isn't it highly immature. You can't ditch your family for a guy you've started loving. What if that guy and you have a major fight then who will take stand for you if you never involved family in the first place?

How is Akshara wrong here ? She is the right one as however, whatever her family is like they are the ones who have loved her/ cared for her since 20-22 years of her existence.

Interesting question...The idea of adults needing permission to marry is not common here in the US. I'll answer your question from the perspective of if it's ok to run off and marry someone of whom your family disapproves. It's tough and I think the answer depends on the specific case. If the familial disapproval is because of a person's race or color or something superficial a person cannot change, then why not - if one's family is prejudiced then their disapproval is based on personal bias, not reason.

But sometimes families can see flaws that the individual in love cannot. Then it's tough because when the first blush of marriage wears off and problems arise (as you say in bold), by eloping the people in the marriage have isolated themselves. Sometimes the family might still be supportive even after saying 'I told you so'. Sometimes they can cut the person off so all their support system is gone. I imagine it could be very difficult to be in that situation even if the person was an adult and financially independent.

I do believe blood is thicker than water. In most cases, your family are the only people you can depend on for unconditional help. So personally I would think really hard before eloping with someone of whom my family disapproved (with the disclaimer that my family are very reasonable people unlike the Goenkas and Birlas 😆). Instead of eloping, might be better just to live together in sin instead and keep all assets separate🤣

It only depends on the types of families that are involved. If they are the type who truly don't give a shit what their child wants, don't give a damn about their children's happiness and are just the type of family who think their children can't choose their own life partner but have to marry only by their parent's choice and after innumerable instances of being requested by their child they still don't care about their children's choice then I get why some people would run away and marry.

Some south Asian families are like this who think that they are entitled to make every life decision for their children even way into their children's adulthood lives and think their children have to abide and live only by their parent's decisions, ignoring the fact it is their child who will have to spend their life with the person they marry so it should be a person's own choice in the end who they marry.

Originally posted by: chremma

yaa sorry my bad half sisters, but in show arohi called akshu sautela in front of everyone so she is a firm believer that they are step sisters. And ofcourse half siblings can love each other, even i want akshu and arohi to rebuild their bond and come out as best siblings who always stand by each other. I want it befire abhira marriage too so arohi can play her role as sali well☺️🤪

For some reason in Indian movies and shows they refer to half siblings as sautela (step siblings). Its almost like they have no word for half siblings at all. This use of sautela for step siblings always confused me as a child when I saw it used in serials.

Originally posted by: borntorule12

I wanted to know views of forum members( as a rational person) - is it okay to elope and marry in real life ?

Since we watch a show, sometimes I feel it's important to ponder on things.

Don't you think abhimanyu- a reputed 30's something surgeon is behaving immature and asking a girl whom he knows loves her family a lot since day 1 to ditch her fam and get married to him? Isn't it highly immature. You can't ditch your family for a guy you've started loving. What if that guy and you have a major fight then who will take stand for you if you never involved family in the first place?

How is Akshara wrong here ? She is the right one as however, whatever her family is like they are the ones who have loved her/ cared for her since 20-22 years of her existence.

Originally posted by: Miss-Behave

For some reason in Indian movies and shows they refer to half siblings as sautela (step siblings). Its almost like they have no word for half siblings at all. This use of sautela for step siblings always confused me as a child when I saw it used in serials.

Originally posted by: Indira1211

it’s so stupid and outdated mentality.. Arohi, kairav and akshara have the same father and all have Goenka blood. These itv serials need to stop writing this sautela crap…as it’s influencing the mindset of viewers…even on Twitter ..obsessed fans are asking for the step sister Arohi to be kicked out and treated badly by kairav…like really ..how backward are these people. Now with the divorce rate being so high all over the world ..many men and women are remarrying and having children with their second spouses..and the families now consist of children having different fathers and mothers ..so this step or sautela mentality needs to stop so that these families can lead happy lives and there be no discrimination amongst the children.. Kairav and the goenkas love both akshara and Arohi equally…there’s no sautela mentality in that family thankfully..hope it stays like that..🙏

Yes exactly this is what I meant to say! they always portray half siblings like enemies and call them step siblings, where there is no love only hatred and jealousy towards the other. this can have a bad impact on the mindset of other people and can have a misconception about half siblings in reality. unlike here, where kairav equally loves Akshara and aarohi so do the sisters. Hope this remains the same.