AbhiRa OS: Summer Chills and Winter Rains
The gentle tattering of the rain against the French window hypnotized her as she took another sip of her tea, sitting curled up in the burgundy couch with her blanket wrapped around her. The raw smell of mud and wet wood wafted into her nose from the partially agape door of the balcony.
So much has happened in the past 3 months since she left for Pune. Never did she imagine stumbling upon the same man she was trying to run away from. Her skin broke into goosebumps as her memory went back to the day she had found Abhimanyu stare at her, or rather drilling holes into her body with his blazing eyes, at the Mehta Rehabilitation Center in Pune where she took up the job of a music therapist. She had felt her knees wobble at the overwhelming emotions that had surged through her, as she stood there not knowing what to do. When she thought how difficult the entire situation would be then on with Abhimanyu pleading with her to talk to him, she found him walking past her, never looking back. Her heart had choked with tears seeing him walk away with such nonchalance...almost as if she didn’t exist. For the first time she had felt the crippling heartache of losing something very important, something that had belonged to her, and her only, albeit only for 3 days.
The feeling of sheer void had multiplied when she found him not even looking at her when they were working together in a sexual trauma case where Dr. Abhimanyu birla’s medical advice and Akshara Goenka’s soothing voice required to heal and rehabilitate the patient mentally as well as physically. When the utmost need of the two speaking to each other became inevitable, he had come off extremely dry, always addressing her as Miss Akshara Goenka. She should have been happy that he made it easier for her to move on by maintaining the professionalism, yet she had felt her mind shut down in excruciating pain.
She heard the doorbell ring and went up to open the door. Her heart fluttered seeing Neil at her doorstep. Her eyes automatically looked behind Neil, in search of a certain pair of eyes that had never ceased to pace up her heartbeat.
Neil snapped his fingers in front of her face, “Penny for your thoughts Akshara?”
Embarrassed, she ushered him in, “Would you like some tea or coffee?”
“Nope, none. Just here to ask what you are doing in Pune.”
“Why? Did Abhimanyu send you here?”, She asked expectantly.
Neil smiled, “I don’t need anyone to tell me what to do akshara. I can fly solo sometimes too, you know. And to answer your question, no he didn’t send me here.”
She masked the disappointment with a question of her own, “What are you guys doing here though?”
“Bro has a bypass surgery to perform on the MP’s father. I tagged along. Your turn.”
The next 20 minutes pass with Akshara telling Neil everything from the post Tilak chaos at the goenka’s to the tangled relationships with her sister to the reason for leaving Udaipur.
“I’m sorry!”, his genuine sympathy made her look at him.
With a well practiced smile, she replied, “don’t be. I’m doing amazing here. I like my freedom”
Neil had mentally scoffed and shook his head. Even from the very little interaction he had with Akshara, it was quite clear to even a blindman that family meant everything for this woman. How Kairav asked her to leave her house was way out of his league to understand.
“If you say so..”, Neil replied.
“We are here for another 3 days. If you need anything, I’m just a call away. Please don’t hesitate. You’re vansh’s sister, so a sister to me too. I would be more than happy if I could help.”
“I really appreciate it neil.”
Giving a nod of acknowledgment, turned to leave, only to face her again.
“Oh and FYI, we are staying at the hotel right across your building”
With that, Neil disappeared down the stairs leaving a stunned Akshara behind. Coincidence? Or could it be…. She shook her head, brushing aside her silly thoughts and went inside her apartment, locking the door.
She went to her room, dreading another night filled with nightmares. She hated coming back to the empty apartment. The absence of the bubbling laughters of mimmi, vansh’s banter over not being able to eat enough, Bade papa and AG’s hugs, Badi mamma securely pinning up her sarees on every occasions , Kairav’s heartwarming rebukes for not having her meals on time - she missed home. Her lips trembled in agony. Her stomach churned from the void she felt within.
Ever since she moved to pune, she had gone to bed with all the lights in the apartment on. It was another thing that the illumination didn’t prevent the mind numbing darkness from surrounding her the moment she closed her eyes every night. Sighing, she pulled the duvet to cover her body, preparing for yet another battle with her nightmares.
~~~~
The next day, Akshara rushed into the Rehabilitation Center and sprinted towards the elevator. Panting, she pressed the elevator button only to feel another hand on top of hers, mimicking her action. She jerked her head towards the subject and let out a soft gasp. Abhimanyu birla’s blazing eyes stared down at her with a fervor, enough to burn her down to ashes. His lips had thinned into a straight line and his jaw clenched, accentuating the muscle in his cheek. Her stomach gave out an anxious flutter. Before the wordless torture could proceed any further, she heard the elevator ding.
She scrambled herself into the lift, and her heart thumped against her chest seeing Abhimanyu follow. It was only a matter of a few seconds to reach the 19th floor but she dreaded to be in the same vicinity as him, for she didn’t know how she would keep her knees from wobbling.
The two stood at opposite ends, imprisoned by a sizzling silence as if praying and hoping for someone or something to rupture the tension in the air between them, enabling them to finally breathe.
Akshara cleared her throat, “Abhimanyu, I think-”
“It’s Dr. Abhimanyu Birla, Miss Goenka.”
The deadpanned voice was enough to send a shiver down her spine. The muscles in her shoulder tightened as she stood still, stunned at how different he sounded from the tender voice he had always used with her.
She took a painful gulp, “I’m sorry, Dr. Abhimanyu...I...I just wanted to...say that what happened back in Udai -”
“If what you are about to say has nothing to do with the trauma case we are handling, then I would like to save my energy and walk out of the elevator with a fresh mind to start the day.”, he said in a clipped tone, his face impassive as he kept looking at the door.
She felt her heart freeze in absolute stillness. The words sliced through her like a sharp knife. He didn’t want to listen to her. Heck, he wasn’t even looking at her. She felt an excruciating ache down to her bones making her lips tremble. What else was she expecting anyway?
Taking a deep breath, she tried again only that this time, the elevator dinged, telling her that it was time to part ways….again. She hurried to rush the words out of her mouth as she saw him taking a step out of the elevator, “Wait..I..I.. wanted to apologize for not informing you before leaving Udaipur.”
Abhimanyu stopped mid stride for a little longer than he intended to with his back facing her, as if to really register her words. And then He looked over his shoulder, giving her the view of his perfect jawline that clenched tightly before his cold voice reached her ears, “You are 3 months too late, Miss Goenka. Have a good day!”
He strode out of the elevator, leaving a pale Akshara. Reality crept in, smacking her in the face. Tears rimmed in the huge eyes, blurring her view and she felt her heart sink into her belly. The unpleasant pang was enough for her to let out a heart wrenching sob as she slid down the wall of the elevator.
~~~~
One look at her at the rehab center 2 days ago was all it took for him to feel the raw pain of his wound all over again. It felt like someone had cut open his unhealed lesion. The whirlwind of emotions he felt seeing her after 3 long months threw him off and if it wasn’t for his well practiced control over his mind and body, he would have staggered back a few steps and collapsed on the floor. The sheer joy of finally finding his akshu in front of him felt like gaining his long lost soul that had left his body without informing him, leaving him to be what he wasn’t.
He was about to take a step forward when his leg had halted midway, bringing him back to reality with a violent jolt. His mouth that had turned tender seeing her singing to a patient turned rock hard. His teeth grinded together and his palms turned into a painful fist, nails digging into his flesh. His eyes spat fire seeing her smiling at the patient as her voice tuned into “Lag ja gale” in a heartthrob melody.
When she had denied her love for him 3 months ago, he had felt his breath knocking out of his body with his knees on the verge of giving up. He had felt sick to the stomach and it had been unbearable for him to see life as it used to be. He had asked Neil to drop her off because he knew he wouldn’t have been able to drive with a sane mind. He had immersed himself in work, taken up back to back surgeries and functioned with barely 2 hours of sleep. Having studied medicine for 8 years, it wasn’t too hard for him. However, exhaustion began to catch up to him, to the point that one day he had hallucinated Akshara in his room, confessing her love for him. When he came back to his senses, he had decided to give it one last go, talk to her, apologize for bringing her to his parent’s when he should have asked her about the real issue privately and come up with a solution together.
With Adrenaline rushing through his veins, his fingers had hurried to dial her number only for it to come unreachable. The next few days had passed by with his constant attempts to connect with her in vain. Later, when Neil had told him that she had left for Pune for a music therapy course, he had stared at him in a bone-jolting shock of electric current. The brutal feeling of someone ripping his soul out of his body had coursed through his being, leaving him lifeless. Pure rage had smouldered inside him like a hot lava and he had slammed the nearby Italian vase on the floor, smashing it into pieces.
It had taken an entire month for him to really come to terms with the fact that she had really left the city, without feeling the need to inform him once. He had truly doubted those days if there was anything at all that had transpired between them. He had questioned their phone conversations, playful fights, funny banters, the sudden increase of their heartbeats and most of all, all the times Akshara had looked down and blushed crimson when he had complimented her. Was it all his hallucination? He had felt like he had lost his mind in the last three months from going over their encounters in his head over and over again.
So today when she finally wanted to talk and apologize, his ego didn’t let him listen to her. His heart wanted him to turn back and look at her but his brain directed otherwise. He had felt his brain mentally scoffing when she wanted to talk about his raw wound and the sheer rage that had built up inside him in the last 3 months had come out and erupted like a blazing volcano.
He was not going to let himself be drawn into the same mess again. No, He will not. He just could not. It had already snatched control from him and cost his life. He can’t let it happen to him again, and let loose of the remaining control he managed to get back.
Loosening his tie, he closed his eyes and laid back on the chair, placing his head on the head rest. Just then he heard a loud scream from outside reverberating the walls around in his cabin. He frowned and was about to check if everything was okay when another loud shout followed. Before he could make heads or tales of anything, he began to hear words like “Fire” and “burns” and “dead”.
He rushed to the hallway as his eyes fell on the magnificent screen of the television, the monotonic voice of the news reporter sailing across the room.
Breaking News:
A 3 storey apartment building on the Tilak Road, right down to the Mehta Rehabilitation of South Pune has caught fire on thursday morning. The condo was home to 8 families. The emergency crew remains at the scene and has rescued 5 people in total, among which 3 were severely burned. According to the sources, the fire crew responded to the apartment’s management office around 10:53 am, arriving at the location at 10:20 am. According to the manager of the building, the neighbors had informed him of the heavy flames and thick smoke billowing from the building and shrouding the street. The cause of the fire is still under investigation. The-
The voice of the reporter faded away when he heard another loud scream. He turned around, to see Neil fishing through the crowd in the hallway, eyes wide and face as pale as a ghost.
When Neil finally stood infront of Abhimanyu however, his voice failed to make it to his ears as he searched for proper words to explain what he just saw.
“Oh thank god you are safe. I was about to call you. It’s right across the street and the fire was literally-”
“Bro woh….”
“What?”
“The fi.re….aks….”
“Why do you look so pale? Is everything alright?”
Finally taking one deep breath, he let the words rush out of his mouth, “Bro Akshara is in that building!! She...she went inside when she saw a kid crying for help from the window”
The words kept replaying in his head, as if they hadn’t fully registered. And when it finally did, air at once whooshed out of his lungs as he stood white as a ghost, staring at his brother’s face. He felt as if someone had snatched the ground beneath his feet, throwing him off balance, as he staggered back a few steps until his back hit the door to his cabin. His mouth turned dry and he held the door-jamb in a menacing grip, making his knuckles white. He was shivering from within and rapidly sinking into the gloom and pain that was taking over his life all over again.
“Bro...bro are you okay? You are scaring me. Please say something”
“Bro!!”
When he didn’t move the third time, he held his shoulders and shook him, jerking him back to the brutal reality.
“Please do something, Please! The fire is bad and the emergency crews haven’t been able to bring it under control yet. Whoever they managed to rescue had suffered third degree burns.”
And the words finally began to sink into his bone
Akshara in the same building
Fire
Akshara...
….has rescued 5 people in total, among which 3 were severely burned…
Akshara…
Blazing flames and thick smoke
Akshara…
Third degree burns...
Akshara….
“Akshu…”, a small croak of anguish escaped his lips as he tore his gaze away from Neil and peeked into the big screen again.
F*CK!
F*CK!
F*CK!
~~~~~
It had been 4 hours since they had rescued Akshara from the first floor’s staircase. By the time Abhimanyu and Neil had reached the location, they had seen one of the crews coming out of the building with an unconscious Akshara in his arms. The limp face painted in black smoke, and fresh blisters scattered all over her forearms were burned into his sockets.
Neil watched his brother paced back and forth outside the ER like a predator. If he didn’t hear anything from them anytime soon, Neil was sure the man would most likely come out of his skin. He had never seen such a blood-curdling version of his brother. He had pleaded with him not to enter the ER despite being a surgeon because there was a high chance he would have blanked out inside the room, going by how he had reacted to the news of Akshara being stuck in the building. When he had gritted his teeth and said not to shove his nose in his business, he had gulped at how intimidating his gentle brother had looked. If he didn’t know better he would have been convinced that the man was possessed. Having no other option left, he had gone to the dean of the hospital and requested not to involve Abhimanyu in Akshara Goenka’s case.
His brother had spit fire and hadn’t said a word to him ever since. The stark terror that lined Abhimanyu’s features definitely wouldn’t be leavining anytime soon. He had never seen him so concerned and scared for someone in his life. The picture churned his stomach. Taking a deep breath, he mustered to walk up to him and put his hand on his shoulder, halting his strides.
A soft gasp escaped his lips at how rigid his muscles felt under his palms.
“Bro…”
“I’m gonna kill her with my bare hands if she doesn’t come out of that ER in one piece.”
The cold whisper from his brother broke his skin into goosebumps. And with that Abhimanyu finally turned around and looked at his brother. A sharp intake of breath couldn’t justify what he saw in his face. He looked like he hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep in the past 7 days. The man looked like a zombie.The dark clouds in his eyes, the grim lips and defeated posture were so palpable that probably for the first time, Neil really understood the depth to which this man loved his Akshu.
Please be okay Akshara. If not for yourself, at least for my brother. Please…
~~~~~~~~~~
Half an hour later, Abhimanyu Birla had finally rushed inside the ER after a man in a scrub came out of the room with a smile. Words like superficial second degree burns on her forearms and leg, multiple blisters, malnourished had echoed in his head as he had stepped into the room.
He knew she was okay. He was a surgeon himself and Akshara not suffering a third degree burn was a miracle. He knew proper care for straight ten days and she will be back to normal. Yet, the sight that greeted him made him want to scream until his lungs hurt. Her frail figure was attached to multiple monitors, tubes near her nose, hand poked with an IV drip - she looked like she was hanging onto the last thread of life.
He swiftly turned around to blink his eyes to get rid of the burning sensation in his eyes as he felt the first layer of tears form in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he walked towards the bed. He loathed the image in front of him. She looked white as a ghost. So pale. And so tiny!
He pulled the chair towards his bed and bent down to raise his palm to cup her cheek. The first touch to her skin after what felt like a generation gap made his blood rush through his veins. For the first time in ages, he felt like he felt alive. He finally released the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
Brushing a few strands of hair, he silently apologized for being an absolutely jerk in the morning and not listening to her. He couldn’t help but feel bothered by the stillness. He wanted her to fill the room with the sound of her bubbling laughters and melodious songs; he wanted to listen to her chirp about how Methi and home remedies are always better than medicines. He wanted her to combat his every move with that adorable face she tries so hard to reflect a serious look on. He wanted to gather her close, hold her to his chest and never let go. Ever.
The frail movements of her limbs brought him out of his trail of thoughts. When he raised his head to look at his face, he saw her looking back at him with the most delicate smile. Her hands rose and he quickly put his hand over her head, asking with a voice barely above whisper, “What do you need, tell me.”
Her hand landed on his cheek and her fragile finger went under his eyes to wipe the moistness. Abhimanyu looked away, embarrassed.
“How are you feeling? Are you hurting anywhere.”, his hand slid to her cheek as he asked looking into her droopy eyes.
“I’m absolutely fine.”, she replied with a smile in a small croak of whisper. The next moment she frowned, “You look like you are gonna faint. Are you alright?”
The question made him feel a sudden surge of rage in his bones and the beast in him returned. His nostrils flared as he spat through gritted teeth, “What the F*CK is wrong with you Akshara? Did you leave your f*cking brain in Udaipur? Because I don’t see why anyone would jump in fire in their right mind.”
“The pillar would have fallen on the kid if -”
“TO HELL WITH YOUR KID ALRIGHT? THERE WERE EMERGENCY CREWS FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE!!”
“Yeah but there weren’t enough people and no one was-”
“Just shut the f*ck up before I lose my f*cking mind. You are one selfish woman, Akshara Goenka”
And with that he stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned Akshara behind.
~~~~~
Akshara stared at Abhimanyu working on his laptop intently, as she bunched the blanket with her hands to raise it to her chest. He had brought her home today after 3 days of staying under observation at the hospital. Despite the grim face and cold shoulder he constantly gave her, he had hardly ever left her side. Even when he would leave the room to use the restroom, he would instruct Neil to stay with her. In the early hours of mornings, she would wake up to find her hand enclasped in his as he dozed off in the chair. He had fed her all the meals on time with his own hands. The gesture had looked so unbelievably natural and so very domestic, she had felt the rim of her eyes fill. Neil and he would take turns in reading Gulzar Sahab’s famous poetry and Sher. While Neil would recite with the dazzling smile on his face, Abhimanyu’s face would remain impassive, even if the writing had some essence of romance and humor. Once, she had found him wide awake in the wee hours of night, weaving his fingers through her curls as if he was aware of all her nightmares. Her heart felt full. A smile lingered on her face even amid all the blisters and weakness.
As she stared at the digital clock behind him reading 11:28 pm, an instant void engulfed her entire being at the thought that he will be leaving any moment now after she falls asleep. She was discharged from the hospital and had almost recovered. The thought was so disturbing that she turned to the other side and closed her eyes, trying to block the face that won’t be there in a few hours. Her eyes dropped from the effects of the medicines.
When akshara woke up with a jolt, Abhimanyu wasn’t at the study table. He didn’t realize when she had fallen asleep. She looked at the clock and it was only 12:23 am. It had hardly been an hour since her eyes gave up on her. She sighed. A sudden restlessness swamped over her with such fervor that she threw the duvet aside. It happened every single night. She just couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned in bed until at once, the side of the bed dipped.
Before she could turn her head, she felt a warm hand circle around waist and turn her around. The next moment, a pair of warm eyes stared down at her shocked ones.
“You…!”, Akshara gasped
With his back against the headboard, he held her closely. His eyes flooded with an unfathomable concern as he tenderly pushed the hair behind her ear.
“Are you getting those nightmares again?”
She stared at him dumbfounded.
“W..what?”
“The nightmares. Were you getting them again?”, his voice was laced with an unknown distress as he wiped the beads of sweat from her forehead. His face was devoid of the grimness she had seen ever since she had met him in Pune 5 days ago. Instead, it radiated a warmth that was very much like Abhimanyu. The one she had known in Udaipur.
“I j..ust….you...how do you know?”
“So you were.”, he said in a clipped voice, as if furious with and disappointed in himself.
“What are they about?”, he finally asked, making small circles on her back as her cheek rested against his chest.
Subconsciously, she relaxed under his touch and snuggled into him. She didn’t know what was happening, or why they were in such close proximity. All she knew was that she needed him tonight. Her heart needed him. She couldn’t bear to go through another loss again. At least not tonight.
“I don’t know what they are about. They don’t make much sense. But I..I j..just miss everyone. I miss home”, taking a painful gulp to remove the lump in her throat
His heart clenched and his hold around her tightened, pressing her more into him. “Does leaving the lights on help you sleep better?”
Surprised, she looked up at him, not sure how he knew that she turned the lights on everynight before going to bed.
The whirlwind of emotions sailed through her, choking her heart until she felt suffocated. She shook her head a ‘no’ to answer his questions.
The sheer pain of seeing the woman in his arms doing all she can to stop herself from breaking into a heart wrenching sob hit him with a violent blow. The desperate need to hide her under his skin surged through him as he whispered, “Akshu…”
There it was. Akshu..Her heart at once slammed against her chest as she jerked her head up to look at him, making sure she wasn’t hearing things.
“I’m sorry for behaving like a jerk for the past 5 days.”
Tears rolled down her eyes, seeping into his white sweatshirt.
“You called me selfish.”, she complained.
“I’m sorry sweetheart. But please promise me you won’t pull such stunt ever again”
Sighing, she nodded.
“Say it.”, he demanded.
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Okay I won’t pull such a stunt ever again. Gosh, bossy AND persistent”
She felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled at her remark. Her own lips tipped at the corners seeing him laugh without a care of the world.
“It’s past your bedtime. You really need to get some sleep.” he said moving slightly away
Her fingers bunched up his shirt unconsciously, as anxious words rushed out of her mouth, “You are leaving?”
He didn’t respond. Instead he stretched to his side to turn off the lamp before lying down on the other side and pulling her tiny form close to him, as her head rested on his chest.
After how I found you that day, never again! he promised to himself.
“I’m gonna be right here. Sleep, sweetheart”.
Her heart fluttered as his words echoed in his ears over and over again. The heavy weight she felt for the past 3 months began to ebb away. Her heart felt full. She felt content. A sigh escaped her lips as she let the warmth radiate from his body into body as her eyes finally closed.
Peace. After 3 months of restlessness, she had finally found peace in his arms. She didn’t know what tomorrow held. She wasn’t even sure whether all that she was feeling at the moment was even real or not. But she felt the unfathomable resolution within, to hold onto the feeling, the support, the warmth and the cocoon. She needed it, she needed him for all that he provided and more.
She felt him place a kiss on her crown as she tightened her arms around his waist, finally letting his rhythmic heartbeat lull her to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay Hello again, I truly, with my all heart, hope you guys didn't doze off in the middle of the OS or stopped reading midway. I know it was a long ass shot. I wanted to narrow it down too, but I felt like I had to build up to the correct atmosphere to really feel the whirlwind of emotions Abhimanyu felt during the whole Fire scene, and the post hospital scenes. Hence the icy dialogues from him in the beginning😒 Sorry if anyone felt that I was dragging it for no reason.
I hope you all did end up reading and i'm crossing my fingers that you guys find this one just as intriguing as the last OS - the response to that shot undoubtedly blew me away. No wonder I ended up writing another one within a span of 1 week😆 But ofc, that shouldn't leave you from leaving honest feedback. They are always welcome.😳
If you did end up reading the whole thing, and liked it - please kindly press the like button and leave a few words so I atleast know where I am with my writing LOL. Thank you for always appreciating my work and showering me with so much love, it is an honor to write for you all🤗
-Mushfika
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