Some of you mentioned it right, to my experience I did find Indian family to be a lot lot LOT less conservative. But my mother in law wears that saree so neatly, and I don't mind at all to touch her feet on special occasions as per the local custom which he taught me. I think we all need to make adjustments it we want a relationship to last. She is very kind to me, and he have always been beside me.
But my sister in law is a very obedient and sweet girl who is looking forward to her marriage, even though once she told me how much she wanted to pursue an MBA before any thing such as marriage. It is ofcourse an arranged marriage which is not exactly obsolete (as generally believed in India) in Europe. Atleast not in Poland, where relatives like aunts sometimes get involved in fixing a date for their neices or nephews, ofcourse the decision to get married depends on the girl and the boy. It is something like the arranged marriage, but not like the Indian one where the girl seemed to have no other choice but to say "yes" or "no". The marriage she must to to the correct caste (... which is quite an irony because I'm a caucasian white catholic and definitely not on the right caste, not that I complain or try to make her look at this example, but it does naturally occur to my mind), correct financial background, correct date, correct religion! The "Correct" is ofcourse the decision of my mother in law (she is very sweet though) and my father in law (who is a wonderful man, but his word seems to be the last 😊).
I think in a marriage everyone must come to some adjustment. It cannot only come from the Newly Wedded Wife, the adjustment must also come from the man, the parents of both the families. Otherwise how will everyone be happy? ... Is it not what all these people are looking for? They keep chanting the eternal search for "Happiness". How can there be complete happiness without the joy of Akshara?
No she never complains, maybe thats why I thought she just let herself sink deeper into this submission. Sometimes we must say "I'm sorry, I can't". There is no harm is there?
About liberty of women: I know that we all have limits. I respect the Indian ways, and I myself wish to put my family first before anything. Fortunately the man I have loved is someone who I can trust and is a sincere man. I don't need to do one job, but if I must then I will have an option open. Because sometimes it can become necessary.
I was surprised how the oldest man in the home got annoyed when he saw Akshara driving.
I never say these things which I am saying here to my in laws (I dun want to be "Oh that loud mouth white girl!" 😆). Just sometimes to my sister in law share with me and I share too, she is like a friend.
By the way, I was never really asked to do so much as Akshara. Infact the family in which I live also love the tradition alot. I do try and help my inlaw in the kitchen too, but she takes it easy with me 😛. Which is good, maybe they have lot less expectation as they would from an Indian girl. But love is there, I can feel it.
I can see so much expectation of obedience from my sister in law. Which is, ok. I cannot say much, I definitely dont want to create a mess for the family, myself or most importantly him! But this should change soon surely. A girl, no matter where she is from, gives in a lot she enters a marriage.
By the way my husband is original of Delhi, so I guess its not Rajasthan culture? It is different everywhere? Different by huge margins or less? I was told less ... but it sounds from you guys that its huge! 😕
Edited by Polki_Zofi - 14 years ago
Anupamaa
