personal issues and Indian homes

@ Polki_Zofi

Very apt observations and relevant post. But as you must have had first hand experience living in India, nobody actually lives the way these illogically scripted T.V. serials are portraying. Actually most of them are portraying only a stereotype and artificial 'idealism' which is not even 'ideal' anymore, in reality, or no one is perusing it in actual practice. I agree with your POV and that is the logic in real life.

But in their convoluted logic of soap world, what they are showing is Heroine's resilience and strength to surpass so many adversities in old 'traditional' ways and her ultimate triumph in winning over her adopted family. By their standard, she is actually rejoicing at keeping her 'flock' together and happy- over and above the inevitable compromise of her own 'personal' comforts. For her, that is the duty which she has taken a vow about, the day she married and entered this household. And towards this, she will move on unwaveringly- many a time even at variance with the helpful Husband whose proclivity towards personal freedom will often clash with her sense of duty. What is more, in the end, even Husband will stand gratified at his wife's unfaltering discharge of 'duty' towards his family and will applaud her. For them this is the strength of the lead character- not her weakness. Only digression from this stereotype 'Bahu' of Indian soaps is her frequent lies in this serial. By even soap standards they are way too frequent and not at all reflecting any reality either.

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

I wonder what wrong that man said when he claimed that having a baby was his and his wife's personal issue! Is it a crime to have a personal life in a traditional Indian family?

this, he said to akshara, not his family...all of them wud have jumped a 100 ft above the ground ,if ever, naitik says this...in a joint family, you have to ask for privacy or either take it forcibly..slow and steady everyone will adjust if they understand..now parents r more understanding bec. children demand privacy at a very young age..toh they dun create a fuss when they get married......We have progressed a lot but when it comes to making babies, we r still living in 20th century..the moment couples gets married, their parents start demanding grandchildren..they say "you have to do it in future toh why not now?? ........if the first child is a girl, they say "the family should be complete", toh they r forced to have a 2nd baby (of course a boy)..if 2nd is a boy , fine, otherwise they say plan a third child ! it happened with me...i've seen a lot of couples who don't plan a family soon..toh their parents go in depression !!!! very few cases i heard that parents r fine with their childrens decision to raise a family...my bro. was married for 6 yrs and he didn't plan a baby..my mom never asked my bhabhi once as to when she will do it or is there any problem bec. of which they r not planning...

So terrific this was 😕. The way this girl is treated, and how timid and helpless she has become due to such treatment, is a pain to watch.

she's not timid or helpless..this is her way of life and she's happy with it...have u ever seen her complaining abt any family member or any tradition or demand ??

I sometimes watch this serial and just wonder in amazement at her condition. She sometimes adds to her problems with her frequent lies and siding with her inlaws while keeping her husband at bay when he tries to bring some form of liberty into her life! 😕

exactly !

I wonder how one can live in such a life. She is also so much malnourished

By the way I am not an Indian, I am a Polish girl (its in Eastern Europe 😳, more into the center 😳for some time and watch serials here with my husbands family 😆) ... I remain at awe and everything is so new to me. This kind of family still exist in your country 😲 , you like this? now in India

Originally posted by: smrth

@ Polki_Zofi

Very apt observations and relevant post. But as you must have had first hand experience living in India, nobody actually lives the way these illogically scripted T.V. serials are portraying. Actually most of them are portraying only a stereotype and artificial 'idealism' which is not even 'ideal' anymore, in reality, or no one is perusing it in actual practice. I agree with your POV and that is the logic in real life.

But in their convoluted logic of soap world, what they are showing is Heroine's resilience and strength to surpass so many adversities in old 'traditional' ways and her ultimate triumph in winning over her adopted family. By their standard, she is actually rejoicing at keeping her 'flock' together and happy- over and above the inevitable compromise of her own 'personal' comforts. For her, that is the duty which she has taken a vow about, the day she married and entered this household. And towards this, she will move on unwaveringly- many a time even at variance with the helpful Husband whose proclivity towards personal freedom will often clash with her sense of duty. What is more, in the end, even Husband will stand gratified at his wife's unfaltering discharge of 'duty' towards his family and will applaud her. For them this is the strength of the lead character- not her weakness. Only digression from this stereotype 'Bahu' of Indian soaps is her frequent lies in this serial. By even soap standards they are way too frequent and not at all reflecting any reality either.

Originally posted by: _charu_

and it's shown that there is only one way of keeping the adopted family happy..to agree to whatever they say...

Originally posted by: _charu_

and it's shown that there is only one way of keeping the adopted family happy..to agree to whatever they say...

Originally posted by: smrth

Hey Charu- long time not seen!😃

I was trying to point out the serial maker's one dimensional, far from reality, linear way of scripting. Only things they borrow from the reality is a set-up (two three families), ambience and some plausible character sketches. Then on, after some initial brilliance or some occasional flashes in the pan, nothing stays real and we are stretched to find relevance-which we do, after allowing for these fables' soap drama nature.

Originally posted by: moonlight08

if the question is about existance of such families.. unfortunately.. the answer is yes.. they definitely do.. my family being one of them.. and that is the primary reason why i relate to the show more than anyone else..

rajasthan has always been very conservative state.. touching feet of elders 7 times everyday.. taking ghunghat in front of elders.. sacrifices of a bahu in order to keep a family together (even if it is against her husband's wish) is nothing new there.. a woman or a bahu doesn't have a life there.. especially wen she is living in a joint family which is headed by a strict patriarch.. itz sad but bitter truth about rajasthani culture.. in punjabi culture.. there's a lot more freedom.. women and their work is respected.. but sadly.. in rajasthan.. it is not so.. it is in true sense - a male dominated society..

yes.. in the serial.. these things are very much exaggerated.. but the basic concept still remains the same.. a woman has to sacrifice no matter wat.. n we cant really change it..