devil's advocate... - Page 4

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

Oh honey...take this show with a grain of salt....yea things happens...life is full of up's and down's ...but no'1 life is this extreme....atleast i hope not.....take this show as a "what not 2 do" type concept...

Originally posted by: _charu_

it's psychology ..accepted...but Shanta, communication is not the only problem...there r lot of other factors involved..nature of a person..both saas and bahu..sometimes the bahu is too docile and saas is too dominating..problems solve ho sakti hai but they don't..my friend once told me her friends story..she said this girl belonged to a rich and affluent family, she was married in a well to do family but 6-7 yrs of her marriage, she's emotionally tortured by her saas..this lady makes her bahu do all the kitchen work and hosehold work, her own daughters had a bad marriage so her nanad and her 2 children stay with them (making the girl's life all the more miserable) ..this girl had a complicated pregnancy, she was strictly asked to do bed rest at that time her saas ordered her to get a birthday cake for her son 😲 (yeh keh kar ke mere bete ka birthday hai aur tum aaram kar rahi ho?) ..that girl was recently admitted to the hospital bec. she got so depressed that she developed cervical cancer along with depression...her saas puts up a bechari act in front of her son and husband and acts like her bahu is making her do all the work 😲 her husband knows her plight but he doesn't say anything to his mom...when my friend told me her story, i told her that they must seperate ..she said it's very complicated...bec. her husband cannot take a stand in front of his parents..for 7 yrs she didn't let her parents or anybody know what she's going through ! only when she was hospitalized, she broke down n told her story...


i think the amount of freedom which a bahu gets totally depends on her husband OR if she's independent & intelligent who doesn't lap up any kind of insult.....there must be a lot of girls like akshara out there, sorry to say, nobody will help them if they can't help themselves...they will have to take a stand..therez a time for negotiations and adjustments..when tht time crosses, it's time to take some other measures...yahan akshara stays silent, and everybody says she respect elders..ghar ka kaam karna hi padta hai, saas toh kehti rehti hai...but these small things , in reality, take a toll on u...in akshara's case, her in laws r not bad (many others are in worse position)..a little bit of communication & attitude..polite yet firm might work for her..

Originally posted by: ritu_iluvyrkkh

you said it well Charu...coz I think the more the bahu keeps quiet about these family problems, those frustrations and problems start creeping in the husband-wife relation and weaken it....I wish there was a Marriage 101 for young girls but unfortunatly sab ko dhakka kha kar hi seekhna padhta hai ...there is no cookie cutter recipe for all marriages....

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

Ritu i get what u are saying....no 1 want 2 re-live the painful times in their lives...and u may be right about the creatives being in that position themselves....and this maybe this is their way of addressing the issue...because most of the time, these issues are silenced....but seeing it through these character's we can see that they are all right in their places...and because of a lack of communication...misunderstandings take over...and the longer they let things linger without confronting these problems the more strain it would put in these relationships...I agree with the 2 much reality concept...but as I am thinking about it from a different perspective...this also makes sense...maybe saas and bahu's can use this as an example to see where both of these characters are making mistakes....and relate them in their own lives....and open up 2 each other with a fresh set of eyes..

Originally posted by: _charu_

it's psychology ..accepted...but Shanta, communication is not the only problem...there r lot of other factors involved..nature of a person..both saas and bahu..sometimes the bahu is too docile and saas is too dominating..problems solve ho sakti hai but they don't..my friend once told me her friends story..she said this girl belonged to a rich and affluent family, she was married in a well to do family but 6-7 yrs of her marriage, she's emotionally tortured by her saas..this lady makes her bahu do all the kitchen work and hosehold work, her own daughters had a bad marriage so her nanad and her 2 children stay with them (making the girl's life all the more miserable) ..this girl had a complicated pregnancy, she was strictly asked to do bed rest at that time her saas ordered her to get a birthday cake for her son 😲 (yeh keh kar ke mere bete ka birthday hai aur tum aaram kar rahi ho?) ..that girl was recently admitted to the hospital bec. she got so depressed that she developed cervical cancer along with depression...her saas puts up a bechari act in front of her son and husband and acts like her bahu is making her do all the work 😲 her husband knows her plight but he doesn't say anything to his mom...when my friend told me her story, i told her that they must seperate ..she said it's very complicated...bec. her husband cannot take a stand in front of his parents..for 7 yrs she didn't let her parents or anybody know what she's going through ! only when she was hospitalized, she broke down n told her story...


i think the amount of freedom which a bahu gets totally depends on her husband OR if she's independent & intelligent who doesn't lap up any kind of insult.....there must be a lot of girls like akshara out there, sorry to say, nobody will help them if they can't help themselves...they will have to take a stand..therez a time for negotiations and adjustments..when tht time crosses, it's time to take some other measures...yahan akshara stays silent, and everybody says she respect elders..ghar ka kaam karna hi padta hai, saas toh kehti rehti hai...but these small things , in reality, take a toll on u...in akshara's case, her in laws r not bad (many others are in worse position)..a little bit of communication & attitude..polite yet firm might work for her..

Originally posted by: ritu_iluvyrkkh

s4n4 (sorry dont know ur name) but my advise is that u dont form any opinions about marriage or mother-in-laws or how u must behave or what u must do or not do from this serial...yes there are a few general things that u can take away, but your situation mite be very different from Akshara or Charu or Shanta or me or anyone who is commenting on this forum...you will have to go through the learning phase of adjusting with ur inlaws and husband and all the changes that come with marriage according to your 7 ur inlaws customs and traditions, but if u have any preconcieved ideas like oh I'm not going to take pallu or will visit my maayka at the drop of the hat or anything which ur inlaws may want u to do, then it will be very difficult to adjust...remember its the girl who gets married and has to put in the most effort in the marriage whether we like it or not...so dont be afraid or put off by anything u see and definitly dont take Akshara or any of the forum members to be ur role model coz we are all different...

Originally posted by: ritu_iluvyrkkh

Shanta u do have a point that this serial may be throwing light on us bahus about the saas POV and vise versa...and there have been times when I have thought ki thank god I have such good ILS or dont have to go through that crap...but on the other hand yaar I cannot digest so much negativity....does one truly have so many problems in a day...how many negative parallel tracks will they run??? and where is the positive influence for the young girls....shouldnt they be the focus??? you and I are already married, we have had our teeny tiny share of adjustment problems, but we are history!....where is the guidance for the prospective brides??...infact every post I'm reading here is about how the girls r afraid now or have a negative opinion on the whole institution of marriage....is that a healthy message they are sending across...this serial is becoming more depressingto the extent that even the Naksh scenes have lost their charm...someone needs a sanity check in the YR camp I think...

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

Any type of abuse is unacceptable...and should NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR be tolerated under any circumstances....that is an issue u should never try 2 adjust with...or compromise with...

If the husband is not the one doing the abuse but is not taking a stand or choosing 2 turn a blind eye...then he is equally responsible...

communication and understanding can only work up 2 a certain point...but the circumstances above are not... This girls silence was her weakness....and taken full advantage of...

Akshara really needs 2 move past the pleasing phase...she needs 2 figure out how and what SHE feels or wants....she needs 2 makes judgements based on what SHE thinks is right.....she has 2 keep making these mistakes 2 learn from them...i just hope i have enough tolerance 2 bear it that long...

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

<FONT color=#cc0066>Any type of abuse is unacceptable...and should NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR be tolerated under any circumstances....that is an issue u should never try 2 adjust with...or compromise with...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0066>If the husband is not the one doing the abuse but is not taking a stand or choosing 2 turn a blind eye...then he is equally responsible...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0066>communication and understanding can only work up 2 a certain point...but the circumstances above are not... This girls silence was her weakness....and taken full advantage of...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0066>Akshara really needs 2 move past the pleasing phase...she needs 2 figure out how and whatSHE feels or wants....she needs 2 makes judgements based on what SHEthinks is right.....she has 2 keep making these mistakes 2 learn from them...i just hope i have enough tolerance 2 bear it that long...</FONT>

Originally posted by: _charu_

Naksh scenes lost their charm bec. it's not about them now ! just 1 scene in 1 episode will not do...there r lot more thing b/w a husband wife than feeding and waking up and putting off to sleep..and it's getting worse bec. their personal lives is affecting their work...sometimes they're not naitik akshara, they're karan and hina , who dun wanna even stand together ! both these actors have yet to learn the "A" of acting....they did a good job in their courtship (may be bec. they were seperate) but now when they're supposed to be together, their performance is falling like a pack of cards...they're not able to bring about that compassion which should be present b/w husband and wife...so what's left in yrkkh? forget it Ritu, there no use complaining now...for me, yrkkh is just a matter of few more days..if it was not for karan/naitik, i wud have stopped watching it long back....