devil's advocate... - Page 2

Originally posted by: _charu_

whether someone agrees or not, therez no comparision b/w varsha and akshara...varsha is a perfect grihastan and Akshara has yet to learn the G of grihasti ! she's irresponsible & careless , on the top of it, she's too selfless 😡 she's a kiddo and so is her husband...it's not akshara's fault, it's 100% her parents fault who got her married at this young age 😡 she's actually worse than kids...in balika vadhu, anandi is a 14 yr old bahu, yet she's in a better position than akshara ! being a kiddo, anandi has her opinion about everything, she's more daring than akshara is ! born and brought up in a village, and married at the age of 13 and living under the shadow of ultra conservative Dadisa, Anandi knows the meaning of life better than Akshara ! u know how a child is...they're not scared of anything, unke emotions mein "mixing" nahi hoti..for them, everything is in black and white ! God knows what happens to us when we grow up !

The day Akshara stops seeing her MOM in her saas, prolly she'll be able to keep Gayitri happy..

Thanks Shanta for this thread..i wanna post a lot of things but i'll think over it n summarize it tomorrow....

EVERYTHING Is a reality here Shanta 😭 i HATE the way Gayitri switches frm "bahu" to "beta" while addressing Akshara...ditto happens with me..when my saas calls me "beta" i'm elated ke tdy she's happy with me and when she calls me "mayura" i know something is wrong aaj ke episode mein hi there r lots of things which happened with me..i dun wanna mention them or remember them 🤢

First and foremost, thanks for this insightful topic, Shanta ...I too have been trying to wrap my head around trying to see the positive side of this show...haven't watched epis for the past 3 days, and I am still grappling with the new changes in the storyline...

Personally, I could relate to the relationship between daadi & RajS in the beginning because I share that kind of relationship w/my own m-i-l...someone who gives advice, is kind, and most importantly, treats me like her own daughter in deed, rather than words. I also felt that RajS's insecurities and her reliance on her m-i-l was completely justified when we were introducted to her mother. It was clear that RajS had always lived in her mother's loud, tradition-bound shadow, and we could deduce that after marrying Vish, she actually had more freedoms in her new home than in her own maayka...

What has happened now is that daadi is advicing RajS about what she should/should not do with AKSHARA; earlier, it seemed daadi and RajS were always on the same page when it came to Akshara (although daadi has always been more lenient w/Akshara than RajS...but thats all about being a cool grandparent 😃 .) I think this is where the disconnect is, and I completely agree that RajS and daddi are both justified in what they say and feel..

RajS feels the need to know that her daughter is ok, particularly since she witnessed Gma's tirade against Aksh during the puja thali overreaction and also because she (RajS) has always been overprotective of her daughter...plus, we know that RajS is not someone with a cool & calm mindset; her reaction to Aksara's situation is in line w/her personality...the fact remains, do we as the audience care to see this reaction from her all time... 😕

Daadi feels that Aksh is now a married woman whose label as wife and d-i-l automatically makes her someone else's responsibility, and who needs to figure out her own life, and more importantly, fight her own battles...of course, Aksh's parents are always going to be there for her, but ultimately, when a girl is married, she has to understand and learn about her new family WITHOUT interference from her maayka...I am sure RajS would not appreciate it if Varsha's mom called her every few hours...and Varsha is a perfect grihasthan as Charu said for precisely this reason: her mom gave certain freedoms to her daughter, also the absence of a father-figure made Varsha stronger, independent, and level-headed than Aksh...she can actually think for herself all the time; Aksh chooses to think for herself sometimes when she's around munna (if we are lucky)...

In my opinion, G ma characterizes the typical mother of an only son....her son can never do any wrong...he was born perfect, and she was the best mother...any negative influences are not in her nurturing but from outside elements, and in this case, Aksh...The blame game here again is justified to some extent, but what I don't care to see is that why is Aksh to blame for everything? Doesn't Naitik have a stubborn, impulsive, swift mind of his own? This has always intrigued me..G ma who knows her son so well, now CHOOSES to ignore the fact that her son is not some innocent little boy who is being corrupted by his wife...all of a sudden her mentality with munna is "see no evil", "hear no evil", "speak no evil."

Also, contrary to her warm, caring personality prior to the wedding, her tone and attitude now with Aksh rarely shows compassion or true empathy for what Aksh is going through...Aksh is completely in line for being afraid and the need to constantly please her...her life in that house is about walking on eggshells all the time...she is reprimanded if she does something wrong, but if she does something right, it could have been done better...There is no room for error...while I think this is the reality for many bahus in a joint family, I would die a silent death everyday if I had to live like this...that's why I prefer not to watch Gma's interactions with Aksh on a daily basis...and sometimes, I do feel B ma is more compassionate towards Aksh, even though she's now majorly sidelined. G ma wants to accept Aksh as her daughter because that is what people and society expect; but blood is always thicker than water, and since hers is the ultimate form of conditional love, I think it will be a long time before the bahu truly becomes a beti...and Aksh will be better-off as soon as she comes to terms with this reality...

Originally posted by: _charu_

whether someone agrees or not, therez no comparision b/w varsha and akshara...varsha is a perfect grihastan and Akshara has yet to learn the G of grihasti ! she's irresponsible & careless , on the top of it, she's too selfless 😡 she's a kiddo and so is her husband...it's not akshara's fault, it's 100% her parents fault who got her married at this young age 😡!
The day Akshara stops seeing her MOM in her saas, prolly she'll be able to keep Gayitri happy..

one advantage of varsha was that her in-law had seen her from childhood so did varsha. but i remember once varsha said "shadi ke baad sab kuch badal jaata hai..main insab kab se jaanti thi but ab sab alag lagte hai". i guess varsha's mom had trained her to be responsible, therefore she was able to carry out everything well. whereas for akshara..she was a laadli, no work was taken for her. i agree to her lifestyle too. but one thing tht annoys me is the statement her inlaws say "bahu ye sab tumhare ghar me chalta hoga..yahan nahi" ! give me a break! how is she supposed to knw? it takes months/years to change habit. kya ye ek dam se badal jayegi shadi ke baad? akshara got RajS's nature of getting worries for every single thing..isliye itni sehmi hui rehti.. i loved the time when she was unmarried, she and varsha used to laugh their their heart out. i dont think she ever laughed like tht after marriage (besides tht dadda ji seeing her w/o pallo incident). bechari akshara. Varsha and shurya still laugh around in their house w/o interruptions!!
and mujhe nahi pata tha shaadi ke baad itna badalna padhta hai

and wht do u mean by 'when akshara stops seeing her mom in saaas, she can make gay3 happy". how is she supposed to act then??

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

RajS has that side of her personality...... that she does understand that the generations has changed ...she is also flexible with changes and adaptations to these new circumstances...she is a understanding saas...she has a immature characteristic which sometimes lets her get carried away....she makes impulsive decisons on emotions......she jumps b4 she thinks.....RajS thinks with her heart instead of her head......varsha and rajS has a good relationship because varsha understands her saas....and rejS can keep the line of communication open....they both give a little ...

Gaya3 on the other hand thinks with her head instead of her heart..when it comes to relationships..........she has brief heart 2 hearts with akshi.....but it doesnt last ....because Gaya3's nature is 2 view a situation through order and disipline...she sometimes 4 gets the emotional factor...she is a creature of habit....when something is different from what she is used to she doesnt know how 2 react 2 it......that's y she seems to go over the deep end....akshara is the new inbalance and everything akshara does is out of the norm......her way of looking at these new changes is that they are a sign of defiance....she feels as if..... by changing some things akshara is trying to say something was wrong with the way it was...and that triggers a ego trip....so thats y gayatri reacts the way she does around akshara....

true..! well said. RajS is flexible and advances herself as the generation moves on. she barely put restrictions on shaurya. but i guess even she was over possessive for Akshi just like gay3 is for her munna. RajS used to send Bhola with her anywhere she went, wud let him wait outside the colg for her, also remember when once naitik came to drop her home after colg how many questions rajS bombarded to akshi..
i guess they are trying to show the 2 opposites..the clash btween Gay3 and RajS who are both overly possessive abt their munna and munni. and how mother should over come this possessiveness 😕

now the question remain what should Naitik and Akshara do?
Naitik has proven himself at his job, keeping everyone happy at workplace. good thing abt him is that he conveys wht he has to say.
Akshi on the other hand has also done extraordinary job at her sasuraal. managed the whole household while she had never done any such thing before. the only fear she has to over come is the fear of Gay3's attitude.

Gay3 has always been underpressure all her life..since the day she was married she'd been controlled by daddaji and bhabhima. look at the entry episode of bhabhi - she really acted like supreme command. but i see she has melted alot coz of nandini. and very understanding of gay3. gay3 and bhabhima has good communication.they shud understand that akshi doesnt have a deverani or jhithaani to share her stuff with. nor can she openly talk to varsha abt it.

gay3 also encourages both varsha and akshi to talk to each other and laugh (she thinks abt varsha too!!)..why cant be same for gay3 🥱

hey thanx for this post shanta..i knw evrybody is pissed off wid YRKKH... but sumhow i like the ongoin track...except mohit family.. juz dont like his mom..too irritating...

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

<FONT color=#cc0000>RajS has that side of her personality...... that she does understand that the generations has changed ...she is also flexible with changes and adaptations to these new circumstances...she is a understanding saas...shehas aimmature characteristic which sometimes lets her get carried away....she makes impulsive decisons on emotions......she jumps b4 she thinks.....RajS thinks with her heart instead of her head......varsha and rajS has a good relationship because varsha understands her saas....and rejS can keep the line of communication open....they both give a little ...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0000>Gaya3 on the other hand thinks with her head instead of her heart..when it comes to relationships..........she has brief heart 2 hearts with akshi.....but it doesnt last ....because Gaya3's nature is 2 view a situation through order and disipline...she sometimes 4 gets the emotional factor...she is a creature of habit....when something is different from what she is used to she doesnt know how 2 react 2 it......that's y she seems to go over the deep end....akshara is the new inbalance and everything akshara does is out of the norm......her way of looking at these new changes is that they are a sign of defiance....she feels as if..... by changing some thingsakshara is trying to say something was wrong with the way it was...and that triggers a ego trip....so thats y gayatri reacts the way she does around akshara....</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0000>None of the mother's have bad intentions and none of them are bad ...but sometimes their luv 4 their children can make them overbearing....they need to learn to cut the ropes....again the main problem is lack of open communication...</FONT>

i understand both the saas's are not wrong..and they're good mom's ! Gayitri is overconfident abt naitik and it happens many times (frm childhood to adulthood) that we say "oh he doesn't like it, oh he doesn't like to eat this etc. etc. and the children do something completely unexpected, uska ulta..this unexpected behavior is surprising 😲 we've seen our children growing up with certain habits but every person changes, Gayitri will take time in realizing this...right now she's completely mislead n thinks that these changes are happening bec. of Akshara.....

i was saying na ke many incidents happened with me..i really liked Gayitri's gesture of returning the cheque to naitik ...my MIL says the same thing..that we don't want anything special, we don't have any expectations frm you, live life the way u like it ..all we want is that our children respect us...Gayitri didn't wanthis salary but for her, the only thing which mattered was naitik remembered her, showed concern & respect towards her...

G has a lot of misconceptions abt akshara, that she's doing a show off n not does anything frm her heart..it's just a matter of time , when she'll know akshara better her attitude will change (i said this a lot of times but i'm not sure this will happen or not bec. it's a tv serial n therez a pahad of problems for akshara in the form of nandini)

i believe, a bahu must stay away from the matters of her nanad specially (even if she knows some secret abt her nanad, she must stay quiet) bec. her speaking in nanad's matter will ruin her position in sasural...for a moment forget abt what u think is right and wrong for her..just let her parents take decisions for her...if the bahu takes anybody's side, she'll be the first one to be targetted...

Originally posted by: beautiful16

hey thanx for this post shanta..i knw evrybody is pissed off wid YRKKH... but sumhow i like the ongoin track...except mohit family.. juz dont like his mom..too irritating...

Gay3 is bahavng as every normal saas will do as his munna is too busy wooing his wife (though we like tat) but being a mom she must be feelng sidelined... akshara & gaya3 hardly talks so its impossible for thm to understnd each other... akshi being selfless alwaz wont help..infact it will spoil the situtaion.. like the cheque thng..whn akshara said maa give ur aashirwaad..the way she said mera beta jaanta hai uska kartavya...she is too confidnt about her son... so its normal to get hurt whn he ignores her... gaya3 is not a bad person

Well said....its all in the psychology

Originally posted by: _charu_

i understand both the saas's are not wrong..and they're good mom's ! Gayitri is overconfident abt naitik and it happens many times (frm childhood to adulthood) that we say "oh he doesn't like it, oh he doesn't like to eat this etc. etc. and the children do something completely unexpected, uska ulta..this unexpected behavior is surprising 😲 we've seen our children growing up with certain habits but every person changes, Gayitri will take time in realizing this...right now she's completely mislead n thinks that these changes are happening bec. of Akshara.....

i was saying na ke many incidents happened with me..i really liked Gayitri's gesture of returning the cheque to naitik ...my MIL says the same thing..that we don't want anything special, we don't have any expectations frm you, live life the way u like it ..all we want is that our children respect us...Gayitri didn't wanthis salary but for her, the only thing which mattered was naitik remembered her, showed concern & respect towards her...

G has a lot of misconceptions abt akshara, that she's doing a show off n not does anything frm her heart..it's just a matter of time , when she'll know akshara better her attitude will change (i said this a lot of times but i'm not sure this will happen or not bec. it's a tv serial n therez a pahad of problems for akshara in the form of nandini)

i believe, a bahu must stay away from the matters of her nanad specially (even if she knows some secret abt her nanad, she must stay quiet) bec. her speaking in nanad's matter will ruin her position in sasural...for a moment forget abt what u think is right and wrong for her..just let her parents take decisions for her...if the bahu takes anybody's side, she'll be the first one to be targetted...

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

<FONT color=#cc0033>exactly ...well said...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>Gma is used 2 naitik beng a certain way...she could read himlike a book...knew his likes and dislike...knew his habits...shewas in sync with his life..she was used 2 him always coming 2 her 4 every little thing..now all of a sudden she feels left out...she doesnt reconize why her son is suddenyly doing thing that dont make sense anymore...out of the ordinary...out of routine...she that is making her insecure about her relationship with her son....she feels threatened by the relationship he shares with akshara now...they have become each other strength and weakness....they would bend all the rules to make the other one happy...that means there's bound 2 be rifts in the family because of it....the simple truth is u cant make everyone happy all the time....u will wind wind up disaapointing some1... so use judgement and do what u feel is right...and then bear the rewards and consequences....</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>your are absolutely right about the gesture....Gayatri didnt really care about the money....but the thought behind the check...she just wanted 2 feel that she still was the most important person in her son life...she wanted 2 feel included in this big moment...( i didnt watch the episode yet so i dont know exactly what happened i will add more input after i watch the episode)</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>The misconceptions is what strains relationships....again the same word clicks in my mind... Communication....the lack of it......is what the problem is between akshi and Gma.....and more importantly between many saas /baahu's.... I felt less ackward around my MIL when I started talking 2 her and explaining my reasons 4 everything...when she said or did anything to upset me ...we talked about it from my prespective and her prespective....and we get along better becuz of it....</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>we clash/ but we get along great 2...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>As 4 the bahu staying out of nanad matter................ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>Akshi will do the exact opposite😆....she will get involved and takethe heat...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>she will take the abuse ....and rise above it all...</FONT>

<FONT color=#cc0033>Her involving her mother in her nanads matter will blow up big time as well !!!!!!!!!!!!</FONT>

shanta therez nothing negative abt the show frm a layman's point of view but it's the treatment which is now hurting my sensibilities ! I expected all these problems to come Akshara's way but i never expected that they will not be allowed to lead a normal life ! they can't go out, honeymoon ko chodo they have to take permission to go to a garden 🤢 in such a scenario, therez nothing left b/w naitik n akshara , all we'll see is (and we ARE seeing it) is their waking up , having breakfast, naitik coming back from work and then both of them going off to sleep ! AISI life jiski ho , saas chodo, pehle toh depression se mar jayega 🤢 so whatz new in these scenes? except that they start behaving like strangers again? like friday's episode where naitik is scared to come close to her and is talking nonsense which is difficult to comprehend? at least give an indication of what he asked from akshara? and for to kill the screen time (apart frm 2 mins of naksh which they show) , they have lots of crap to show like akshara making mistakes, maayka maayka maayka, figuring out why G is upset with her today etc. etc. and now, Mohit's mom, Nandu's chane ka halwa 🤢

i'm not ready to watch 19 mins of crap for 1 min of naksh (woh bhi bakwas hai ab and now i'm least interested in their pairing when off screen one is hell bent on promoting his gf than him and the other one has a lot of image building to do..none of them r concerned abt the serial..now when i watch them, I can feel tht they don't wanna work together )..i said this pehle bhi ke i'm done with this serial..i'm watching it ab bec. i have nothing better to do ..i will leave it the day i find something better..

One week.....kya hua?