Posted:
Thank you so much for this post 👍🏼
I have been saying the same things since the day Naina had unilaterally decided to break up with Sameer and your thoughts mirror mine.The red flags you have mentioned should always be kept in mind. I have been in a relationship which repeatedly showed me those red flag and I Chose to ignore them. So I very well understand the valid concerns you have raised through this post and appreciate you for putting it up in such a systematic manner.Every girl in this country knows how her parents would react if they ever find out about her affair. We are living in the 21st century but there are parents who would never allow their children to get married by their choice. I know my parents are open minded and they would whole heartedly accept the boy of my choice, provided they think he is a genuine person. One of my friend's family is very conservative and likewise she knows her decision of getting married by her choice would never be entertained. So, all I wanted to say is Naina knew all this while that her family won't agree for a love marriage. Moreover hee has always seen Rakesh and Arjun Insulting Sameer; she has seen how her family has ways taunted Meghaben for elopong, when Sameerr was in Delhi and Naina was in a dismal state, for the first few days she was repeatedly slapped/scolded by Taiji because she had a doubt that Naina was having an affair. Despite all this, Naina chose to continue with her love story. Why? 3 years is not a small timee and that too being in a relationship which is so deep and pure.Does 3 years of togetherness not deserve a chance? Does this deep and true love (claimed by both Samaina) not deserve atleast one try from Naina? She was the one who has always tested Sameer to figure out whether his pyar is shadi vala or not. Why she did all this? To back out at a time when she needs to pass the test?I so agree to the adjustment point you raised. It was Sameer who has always adjusted. Infact he has always motivated her to excel in everything she does and has always rejoiced in her happiness while I have never seen Naina encouraging him for anything or being happy when he achieved something. And also, everytime when he planned something for her, Naina enjoyed it to the fullest and when the plan ended up in a disaster, she conveniently blamed him. Teenage me pyar ke liye ghar me jhuth bolna, bahane banana SAB karte hainn, real test to tab aata hai na jab aapne us pyaar Ko duniya ke samne batana hota hai? And Naina chose to escape from this conundrum. I am not angry at Naina for thinking about her family's love and trust (though there were many moments where she had broken her chachaji's trust without even feeling guilty or introspeting herr acts). I am angry at Naina for giving up on their love without even trying. She is being an escapist. She claims she doesn't want Sameer to go through the same pain Shefali went through when Arjun bhaiya ditched her. Then why is she punishing Sameer for someone else's fault? Why a single question from Shefali shook her to the core despite knowing the depth of her own relationship? She claims she wants to save Sameer yet doing the same thing which would destroy him. She claims she doesn't want people to point fingers at Sameer but deep down she is scared of her family's wrath on her. She is definitely being an escapist. Assan rasta chuno or Nikal lo, assan hi rasta chun na tha to pyar Kiya kyu? Aur kar Liya to itne time tak nibhaya kyu?And coming to Sameer, Naina has made Sameer emotionally dependent on her. People may not agree but I am of the view that she very well knows what damage her one rash decision is going to cost Sameer. She is the only one who had witnessed Sameer's vulnerable side when he talked about his mother. So I can not come to the conclusion that she doesn't know what Sameer would go through.Naina was that fairy in Sameer's life who made him believe that he was worthy of being loved too.And by unilaterallyyy deciding to break up she took that thought away from Sameer too. He is back to square one. Every person he loved left him to tackle things on his own. According to me, she has no right to break his heart this way. He doesn't deserve this, their love does Not deserve this.My best friend (girl)has gone through the same pain. I have seen her struggling day and night when her boyfriend ditched her. She could have done anything given the state she was in, yet she didn't choose to give up (It took her three years to even start leading a normal life). And the only complaint she ever had with her ex was why he didn't bother to try once? And I have the same complain with Naina, why she didn't try once? Parents maane ya na maane, that should be a secondary thing. How could she give up without giving her love a chance? Aage kya hota vo to Baad me sochte na Lekin Naina to maidan chodh kr hi bhaag li. And I don't think Sameer'ss outburst had any effect on her especially after the reply she gave him and walked off once again.Your post was a nice read doctor. Your writing skills are amazing.
Hi AsishaM,
Thank you for the comment and you have raised some very practical insights to the post.
@ Rea:
Absolutely right. Relationships are always give and take. More so in between lovers. Yes, its true when in love, it does not matter how much one gives. There is more that can be given. However, this feeling must be there mutually.
Its is a fine balance and needs to be maintained consciously or subconsciously. Both should be happy to do things for the other and standing for the other when some major decisions come. Best love stories in real life are those, where both partners do these things without thinking or planning. It just happens.
These points, every young lover must keep a track of consciously or sub-consciously.
@ Blue:
Yes, Naina knew its going to be tough. Its's also true she is little shocked to see Rakesh and Co reacting the way they did when the Arjun~Shefali matter opened.
But after the initial fear, at one point, as an 18-Year Old Girl, she must have thought all the possibilities. Even if Naina or any person (Boy or Girl) in such a situation would be scared and if unsure regarding how to progress with her/his love, a proper discussion is always required.
In the tele world, dramas are created. But in real life, the issue ideally needs to be discussed as one is dealing with something as fragile and unpredictable as human emotion.
The one who is suddenly made to accept the unilateral decision regarding the relation might be adversely affected emotionally leading to do something stupid. For example, if Sameer has done what Naina did, there would be no sympathy for him. On that if Naina does something stupid to hurt herself then Sameer is practically sentenced by all. The same rules must be applied equally in regards to girls too taking unilateral decisions.
@Green:
The much coveted "Shadi Wala Pyaar". Yes its important because it is the parameter that the investment you put in the relation is for a better cause.
Otherwise whats is the difference between a man and an animal.
Girls, I feel (just my POV) are wired to "Shadi Wala Pyaar" as Indian society as such (more so in the 90s) is not flexible to give a girl multiple chances to find the love of her life. So, girls look for that "Shadi Wala Pyaar" for the perceived stability.
Naina also wanted that. Its very natural. However, when she is now sure that Sameer indeed has "Shadi Wala Pyaar" for her and would do anything to protect her pride, respect and dignity - She decides to unilaterally LEAVE him for his imagined happiness.
She agrees she is Coward and used that to justify a complete unilateral decision (discarding Sameer's dreams, wishes and desires - whom she loves). It all appears confusing as a 3rd person watching. So, one can very well understand the inner ramblings "Sameers" go through.
Sameer's vice over though makes it appear funny. He says "Yahan main Majnu Banke Baith Tha ... Aur Meri Naina ka Rishta Kahin Aur Ho Raha tha" He wants to make his younger version understand to get up and fight for Naina.
I do not agree with that. You can only fight when the person for whom you are fighting at least realizes that you are fightining for him/her.
@ Pink:True
@ Violet:
She is taking the path of least resistance - where she is answerable to least number of people. Mind it that BOYS also tend to do it a lot.
In this case, for Naina, it is facing the Entire Agarwal Clan vs a Single Sameer. That is the real reason.
(She is doing it for Sameer's good is like saying I am Pushing him in to Deeper Hurt as I am not sure if I can stand or atleast discuss it with Sameer)
@Red:
Very True. She showed such an incredible amount of love to a neglected "HandSome & Arrogant Boy" that the boy is now completely and utterly emotionally dependant on her.
She loved showering love on the vulnerable boy and enjoyed every-bit of the of the love he showered on her. And in the end gave her the decision - I can discard you from my life even if it hurts so much!
Thanks for the comments.
Regards
