Sameer Loves Naina loves Sameer: RED FLAGS ! - Page 2

Hi Doc,Great to see your post again.Excellent analysis and write up,as usual👏👏You seem to be outdoing yourself these days👏 Looks like the new track has spurred you on a post making spree.😆.Wanted to reply to your earlier post,logged in and and saw a new one from you.Decided to reply to this one first😳

Your three red flag pointers are so very valid,not just in a teenage relationship but in any relationship.They help us realise when the relationship is on a downtrack and when it might be time to say goodbye.

In my opiniuon,the biggest difference between Sameer and Naina is the way they treat the other person's self respect/dignity(your point three).That is where they differ from each other.While Sameer has always respected Naina tremendously,Naina does not seem to care as much for his dignity.

When it came to change in priorities,Sameer has had a change in priorities too..Normally a change of place /lifestyle leads to change in priorities in teenagers. We saw this change in Sameer too when he went to Delhi.His new atmosphere.adjustment problems there and new friends made him almost forget Naina for quite sometime.If Naina hadn't kept on badgering him with letters and phone calls and if Mundit had not turned up there,he might be over Naina by now.But Naina made sure it didn't happen.Which is why her actions now are simply not justified.

When it comes to adjustments,I am sure you will agree that neither of them have made any real adjustments for the other.Real life adjustments are yet to come. I wouldn't say that Sameer made all the adjustments during Pooja Didi's shaadi only for Naina .He tolerated those insults,slaps etc because he wanted Naina to forgive him at any cost.He wanted forgiveness because forgiveness and winning her back is the only thing that would have given him peace of mind.Otherwise he would have fallen in his own eyes.IHe was also desperate for validation from her and wanted to show her that he was a good guy.I think he made those adjustments more for himself than for Naina,...

So where is the biggest difference?Dignity..When Sameer hurt Nains's dignity and self respect(bet track) he felt so guilty that he couldn't face his Nanu or himself.He mustered courage (very difficult at that age) to apologize to her and get her forgiveness at any cost.This shows that though he lost his way during the bet track,he inherently has high morals.When he realised that he had hurt someone's self respect and played with their emotions,it affected him tremendously.Now Naina has done the same thing and Sameer has told her this in so many words.And yet,Naina is convincing herself that she is right and is doing it for Sameer's good.

The problem is compounded because Naina has always been the more mature,sensible and intelligent one.She thinks and then makes decsions(unlike Sameer who gets carried away by emotions).This time too,she has given thought to her decision.And she finally decided that between breaking her family's heart and Sameer's heart,she could break Sameer's heart.Why?Because it is easier to break with lesser consequences.Now breaking Sameer's heart would make her a bad person,right?So she has to justify her actions morally to herself.What does she do?She convinces herself that she is doing this for Sameer's good(Whoa!!!).Killing two birds with one stone..She has upheld her family's honour while still absolving herself from moral responsibility.Kudos girl👏😕...Do I make it sound too cold?Maybe...I am this not saying she was actually doing this in cold blood...But somewhere this is the line of thought in the sub conscious mind.This line of thought has helped her move ahead with a clear conscience.On top of that,in this line of thought she sees herself as the victim bearing a huge burden for the sake of her family.She becomes the eternal Sati Savitri in her own eyes...Her only minus point(from her pov) is that she is a coward,which she openly accepts..ha ha..Naina is way too smart..She can leave when she wants to and also convince herself...Sameer could have adopted the same route in the bet track.He could have thought that Naina deserved it and things are even now.He could have convinced himself that he is hurting as much as Naina and so it is ok.But he didn't..And that is the difference between them.Sameer inherently has more concern for Naina's emotions and dignity than Naina has for Sameer.

Naina's behaviour(in this track) to me seems despicable.I am surprised people are accepting it and seeing her as the victim.It shows that society in general,,is sympathetic and biased towards women's constraints and problems and can accept women backing off from situations but when a man does the same,he is branded a villian and a cheat.

When Arjun left Shefali,the forum was furious.But when Naina ditches Sameer,all I see is sympathy for both!!!(The human mind cannot be understood).Arjun left Shefali when push and came to shove and he had to confess in front of his family .Naina is leaving Smaeer at the thought of push coming to shove,at the thought of confronting her family.Drawing an analogy,if Arjun ditched Shefali in the middle of a battlefield,Naina has ditched Sameer at the thought of going to battle.So,who is the bigger coward?

Very well written post, Doc...You have brought up red flag issues very nicely which can be taken as a learning material for people in real life.. My heart goes out to people who have to be subjected to such pressure.. Psychological pressure is a very difficult one to deal with. I havent been through such situation. But fully understand that given I am facing different situation in a family.. So when loved ones break your heart then how does it hurt you is what I can fully get it. Having said that, I believe that it also gives people a chance to become mentally strong and move on in life.. It can be possible if mental strength of that person is high or there is a good guidance available in life.

Now coming to the serial, I wont take anyone's side here. Sameer started feeling guilty during bet phase only when he started falling for her unknowingly. Not before that. Naina did fall in love with a good looking guy but she continued falling for him despite knowing his weaknesses. His realization of asking for forgiveness came strongly through his friends and Nanu. Else he was running away from Naina even if he was feeling guilty. It was because of Nanu's support and guidance he did what he did during pooja's shaadi. He has lost balance from the time Nanu has gone and Naina has taken that place. Naina is a mature, intelligent girl but she is still not as experienced as Nanu was. Thats where the problem has come up in their life. I am not taking Naina's side.. Her unilateral decision was not right but probably she didn't have courage to discuss it further. Else she could have changed her decision. Sameer's outburst was also right as he has a right to question her for not having a conversation and giving him a chance. Here its situational pressure which has resulted into this deadlock. I feel bad for Naina for taking such hearbreaking decision for her family. Family which has people who love her but that has become an obligation. Family which has people who are jealous of her and hence plotting against her. Its a very sad situation to be in. I just hope that Naina gets wisdom and Sameer gets guidance to act as a man. That will only help them to overcome this situation.

PS I just want to say that may God help those people who have tough situation to handle in life. May they get desirable mental strength to pull through the phase.

Originally posted by: rock&roll

So where is the biggest difference?Dignity..When Sameer hurt Nains's dignity and self respect(bet track) he felt so guilty that he couldn't face his Nanu or himself.He mustered courage (very difficult at that age) to apologize to her and get her forgiveness at any cost.This shows that though he lost his way during the bet track,he inherently has high morals.When he realised that he had hurt someone's self respect and played with their emotions,it affected him tremendously.Now Naina has done the same thing and Sameer has told her this in so many words.And yet,Naina is convincing herself that she is right and is doing it for Sameer's good.

The problem is compounded because Naina has always been the more mature,sensible and intelligent one.She thinks and then makes decsions(unlike Sameer who gets carried away by emotions).This time too,she has given thought to her decision.And she finally decided that between breaking her family's heart and Sameer's heart,she could break Sameer's heart.Why?Because it is easier to break with lesser consequences.Now breaking Sameer's heart would make her a bad person,right?So she has to justify her actions morally to herself.What does she do?She convinces herself that she is doing this for Sameer's good(Whoa!!!).Killing two birds with one stone..She has upheld her family's honour while still absolving herself from moral responsibility.Kudos girl👏😕...Do I make it sound too cold?Maybe...I am this not saying she was actually doing this in cold blood...But somewhere this is the line of thought in the sub conscious mind.This line of thought has helped her move ahead with a clear conscience.On top of that,in this line of thought she sees herself as the victim bearing a huge burden for the sake of her family.She becomes the eternal Sati Savitri in her own eyes...Her only minus point(from her pov) is that she is a coward,which she openly accepts..ha ha..Naina is way too smart..She can leave when she wants to and also convince herself...Sameer could have adopted the same route in the bet track.He could have thought that Naina deserved it and things are even now.He could have convinced himself that he is hurting as much as Naina and so it is ok.But he didn't..And that is the difference between them.Sameer inherently has more concern for Naina's emotions and dignity than Naina has for Sameer.

Naina's behaviour(in this track) to me seems despicable.I am surprised people are accepting it and seeing her as the victim.It shows that society in general,,is sympathetic and biased towards women's constraints and problems and can accept women backing off from situations but when a man does the same,he is branded a villian and a cheat.

When Arjun left Shefali,the forum was furious.But when Naina ditches Sameer,all I see is sympathy for both!!!(The human mind cannot be understood).Arjun left Shefali when push and came to shove and he had to confess in front of his family .Naina is leaving Smaeer at the thought of push coming to shove,at the thought of confronting her family.Drawing an analogy,if Arjun ditched Shefali in the middle of a battlefield,Naina has ditched Sameer at the thought of going to battle.So,who is the bigger coward?

Originally posted by: rock&roll

Hi Doc,Great to see your post again.Excellent analysis and write up,as usual👏👏You seem to be outdoing yourself these days👏 Looks like the new track has spurred you on a post making spree.😆.Wanted to reply to your earlier post,logged in and and saw a new one from you.Decided to reply to this one first😳

Your three red flag pointers are so very valid,not just in a teenage relationship but in any relationship.They help us realise when the relationship is on a downtrack and when it might be time to say goodbye.

In my opiniuon,the biggest difference between Sameer and Naina is the way they treat the other person's self respect/dignity(your point three).That is where they differ from each other.While Sameer has always respected Naina tremendously,Naina does not seem to care as much for his dignity.

When it came to change in priorities,Sameer has had a change in priorities too..Normally a change of place /lifestyle leads to change in priorities in teenagers. We saw this change in Sameer too when he went to Delhi.His new atmosphere.adjustment problems there and new friends made him almost forget Naina for quite sometime.If Naina hadn't kept on badgering him with letters and phone calls and if Mundit had not turned up there,he might be over Naina by now.But Naina made sure it didn't happen.Which is why her actions now are simply not justified.

When it comes to adjustments,I am sure you will agree that neither of them have made any real adjustments for the other.Real life adjustments are yet to come. I wouldn't say that Sameer made all the adjustments during Pooja Didi's shaadi only for Naina .He tolerated those insults,slaps etc because he wanted Naina to forgive him at any cost.He wanted forgiveness because forgiveness and winning her back is the only thing that would have given him peace of mind.Otherwise he would have fallen in his own eyes.IHe was also desperate for validation from her and wanted to show her that he was a good guy.I think he made those adjustments more for himself than for Naina,...

So where is the biggest difference?Dignity..When Sameer hurt Nains's dignity and self respect(bet track) he felt so guilty that he couldn't face his Nanu or himself.He mustered courage (very difficult at that age) to apologize to her and get her forgiveness at any cost.This shows that though he lost his way during the bet track,he inherently has high morals.When he realised that he had hurt someone's self respect and played with their emotions,it affected him tremendously.Now Naina has done the same thing and Sameer has told her this in so many words.And yet,Naina is convincing herself that she is right and is doing it for Sameer's good.

The problem is compounded because Naina has always been the more mature,sensible and intelligent one.She thinks and then makes decsions(unlike Sameer who gets carried away by emotions).This time too,she has given thought to her decision.And she finally decided that between breaking her family's heart and Sameer's heart,she could break Sameer's heart.Why?Because it is easier to break with lesser consequences.Now breaking Sameer's heart would make her a bad person,right?So she has to justify her actions morally to herself.What does she do?She convinces herself that she is doing this for Sameer's good(Whoa!!!).Killing two birds with one stone..She has upheld her family's honour while still absolving herself from moral responsibility.Kudos girl👏😕...Do I make it sound too cold?Maybe...I am this not saying she was actually doing this in cold blood...But somewhere this is the line of thought in the sub conscious mind.This line of thought has helped her move ahead with a clear conscience.On top of that,in this line of thought she sees herself as the victim bearing a huge burden for the sake of her family.She becomes the eternal Sati Savitri in her own eyes...Her only minus point(from her pov) is that she is a coward,which she openly accepts..ha ha..Naina is way too smart..She can leave when she wants to and also convince herself...Sameer could have adopted the same route in the bet track.He could have thought that Naina deserved it and things are even now.He could have convinced himself that he is hurting as much as Naina and so it is ok.But he didn't..And that is the difference between them.Sameer inherently has more concern for Naina's emotions and dignity than Naina has for Sameer.

Naina's behaviour(in this track) to me seems despicable.I am surprised people are accepting it and seeing her as the victim.It shows that society in general,,is sympathetic and biased towards women's constraints and problems and can accept women backing off from situations but when a man does the same,he is branded a villian and a cheat.

When Arjun left Shefali,the forum was furious.But when Naina ditches Sameer,all I see is sympathy for both!!!(The human mind cannot be understood).Arjun left Shefali when push and came to shove and he had to confess in front of his family .Naina is leaving Smaeer at the thought of push coming to shove,at the thought of confronting her family.Drawing an analogy,if Arjun ditched Shefali in the middle of a battlefield,Naina has ditched Sameer at the thought of going to battle.So,who is the bigger coward?

Originally posted by: SixteenAgain

Another awesome post! Most people are able to recognise these red flags only retrospectively. So some good pointers!

Originally posted by: rock&roll

Hi Doc,Great to see your post again.Excellent analysis and write up,as usual👏👏You seem to be outdoing yourself these days👏 Looks like the new track has spurred you on a post making spree.😆.Wanted to reply to your earlier post,logged in and and saw a new one from you.Decided to reply to this one first😳

Your three red flag pointers are so very valid,not just in a teenage relationship but in any relationship.They help us realise when the relationship is on a downtrack and when it might be time to say goodbye.

In my opiniuon,the biggest difference between Sameer and Naina is the way they treat the other person's self respect/dignity(your point three).That is where they differ from each other.While Sameer has always respected Naina tremendously,Naina does not seem to care as much for his dignity.

When it came to change in priorities,Sameer has had a change in priorities too..Normally a change of place /lifestyle leads to change in priorities in teenagers. We saw this change in Sameer too when he went to Delhi.His new atmosphere.adjustment problems there and new friends made him almost forget Naina for quite sometime. If Naina hadn't kept on badgering him with letters and phone calls and if Mundit had not turned up there, he might be over Naina by now.But Naina made sure it didn't happen.Which is why her actions now are simply not justified.

When it comes to adjustments,I am sure you will agree that neither of them have made any real adjustments for the other.Real life adjustments are yet to come. I wouldn't say that Sameer made all the adjustments during Pooja Didi's shaadi only for Naina .He tolerated those insults,slaps etc because he wanted Naina to forgive him at any cost.He wanted forgiveness because forgiveness and winning her back is the only thing that would have given him peace of mind.Otherwise he would have fallen in his own eyes.IHe was also desperate for validation from her and wanted to show her that he was a good guy.I think he made those adjustments more for himself than for Naina,...

So where is the biggest difference?Dignity..When Sameer hurt Nains's dignity and self respect(bet track) he felt so guilty that he couldn't face his Nanu or himself.He mustered courage (very difficult at that age) to apologize to her and get her forgiveness at any cost.This shows that though he lost his way during the bet track,he inherently has high morals.When he realised that he had hurt someone's self respect and played with their emotions,it affected him tremendously.Now Naina has done the same thing and Sameer has told her this in so many words.And yet,Naina is convincing herself that she is right and is doing it for Sameer's good.

The problem is compounded because Naina has always been the more mature,sensible and intelligent one.She thinks and then makes decsions(unlike Sameer who gets carried away by emotions).This time too,she has given thought to her decision.And she finally decided that between breaking her family's heart and Sameer's heart,she could break Sameer's heart.Why?Because it is easier to break with lesser consequences.Now breaking Sameer's heart would make her a bad person,right?So she has to justify her actions morally to herself.What does she do?She convinces herself that she is doing this for Sameer's good(Whoa!!!).Killing two birds with one stone..She has upheld her family's honour while still absolving herself from moral responsibility.Kudos girl👏😕...Do I make it sound too cold?Maybe...I am this not saying she was actually doing this in cold blood...But somewhere this is the line of thought in the sub conscious mind.This line of thought has helped her move ahead with a clear conscience.On top of that,in this line of thought she sees herself as the victim bearing a huge burden for the sake of her family.She becomes the eternal Sati Savitri in her own eyes...Her only minus point(from her pov) is that she is a coward,which she openly accepts..ha ha..Naina is way too smart..She can leave when she wants to and also convince herself...Sameer could have adopted the same route in the bet track.He could have thought that Naina deserved it and things are even now.He could have convinced himself that he is hurting as much as Naina and so it is ok.But he didn't..And that is the difference between them.Sameer inherently has more concern for Naina's emotions and dignity than Naina has for Sameer.

Naina's behaviour(in this track) to me seems despicable.I am surprised people are accepting it and seeing her as the victim.It shows that society in general,,is sympathetic and biased towards women's constraints and problems and can accept women backing off from situations but when a man does the same,he is branded a villian and a cheat.

When Arjun left Shefali,the forum was furious.But when Naina ditches Sameer,all I see is sympathy for both!!!(The human mind cannot be understood).Arjun left Shefali when push and came to shove and he had to confess in front of his family .Naina is leaving Smaeer at the thought of push coming to shove,at the thought of confronting her family.Drawing an analogy,if Arjun ditched Shefali in the middle of a battlefield,Naina has ditched Sameer at the thought of going to battle.So,who is the bigger coward?

Originally posted by: jasw

A thought provoking post, Doc.

I will give an example of a close friend of mine. Sometimes the priority is also deceptive. A selfish person has his own self as his priority although it might not be apparent to others. So this boy had a crush on my friend. The girl did not fall for him at first but the boy was adamant and made her his top priority. He did everything under the sun for her. Slowly the girl started warming towards him. She thought this guy has done so much for her, there won't be any other person who would love her so much. After some token struggle they got married. Slowly she started to realize that whatever the person was doing before marriage to woo her was actually for himself. Now that he is secure and knows the girl loves him deeply he started taking her for granted. Gradually the wife started making adjustments, husband was only bothered about himself and wanted his wife to hover around him, understand him, care for him, which she did. But when she felt low and wanted the same understanding from him, he would be thinking about himself only, if it suited him, he would do

but if did not suit him he wouldn't. His selfish nature became apparent to his wife but it was kinda late. Till date she makes all the adjustments in their married life. The story of Naina and Sameer is also not much different if you change the genders!

Sameer was shown to introspect whenever there is a confrontation be it in hospital(Bet track) or in the temple(Manhoos track). Naina's anguish and dialogues seared through Sameer's conscience and he changed his stance because he respects Naina and gives her opinion a certain weightage(Respect & Dignity). Unfortunately Sameer's anguish and questions did not make any impact on Naina. It clearly shows Naina takes Sameer lightly and it will take a bigger event which will have an impact on her personal life like marriage talks to value her relationship with Sameer.