Originally posted by: Lacustris
I may be a minority here, but I am going to sympathize with Ruhi today. Ruhi is the most misunderstood in certain aspects and for what all she went through my heart goes to her all the time and today is no different.
So, let me start with Ruhi first. I think amongst all of Raman's kids this kid is the most unfortunate. Because as soon as she was born (btw: it's Raman who forced Shagun to have another kid from what all fbs we had earlier) her birth mother left her by her choice for another man. Her father left her by his choice with his parents to run away from the humiliation of his cheating wife. Since the birth she became a choice for her parents. Though she was in the loving environment of her grandparents her heart was beating for her father who couldn't even look at her because of an unfortunate mole she inherited from her birth mother. In her loneliness Ruhi found a friend, a mother figure in Ishita who loved her unconditionally.
Then Ruhi was taken away by Shagun and that made Raman miss Ruhi and to get her back he agreed to marry Ishita whom Ruhi chose for herself as her mother. Here Ruhi made a choice for herself by herself. She started looking after her needs. Survival that is what it is.
Her life was good with Ishita as her mother and still she was so afraid and insecure that her mother will leave her if she is unhappy. So, she was fighting with her father, brother, and her birth mother and whomever she thought would hurt Ishita and make her go away from her life.
Her happiness with Ishita as her mother got interrupted by her father by his own choice. Unfortunately, once again her father decided her fate by making her a choice over Adi. And not only that he forces her mother Ishita to choose the choice he made breaking little Ruhi's heart.
Ruhi's heart break while she was at Shagun was very clear. She was angry at Ishita for not choosing her. Raman played his cards so well here. In front of his daughter he is the loving parent but Ishita is the one who made the choice. However, that MU got cleared and Ruhi with her big heart couldn't be mad at her mother for ever.
Again, her father decided to have another child with Ishita through surrogacy (this is how he decides. He decides for everyone on his own and executes it. If one is in the plan ok, if not he will do it anyways). After the baby got kidnapped and Ruhi was asked as a ransom again he decided to choose Ruhi's fate by making her a choice for Pihu. He forced Ishita to accept the plan which unfortunately Ruhi overheard. He not only forced but convinced Ishita that no harm will happen to Ruhi in which he failed, and lost Ruhi yet he blamed Ishita for the loss and discarded her. Again, he decided that she is not his wife and mother for his kids. Here he decided for both of his kids and chose Shagun as a mother for these two children, who not only cheated and tried to harm his kids. For him it was easy to discard Ishita as she didn't birth any of his kids. Discard her as a wife then she no longer can be a mother to his kids. Very easy. Mind you, all this time he is the one deciding and no one else.
Ruhi lived a nightmare for 7 long years. Survived through the abuse but broken completely. After finding her family back she hated her mother because that is the one person she trusted and believed that will not abandon her, but she felt betrayed. She was fine with her papa. She forgave him maybe she didn't expect anything better from him. But her mother she couldn't forgive because she felt betrayed. But once again she forgave her mother. She even forgave her birth mother Shagun because she carried some of Ishita's values and beliefs.
Ishita knows how she failed to protect Ruhi. And now it became her mission to protect her. Or maybe it's Ishita who is trying to protect her marriage with Raman through Ruhi. As the marriage for him never moved from Ruhi ke liye.
Ruhi is erratic and she is a danger to herself. Ishita is trying to balance it out. That kid is wavering between her parents love and trust and her feelings. When she tried to kill herself during sohail saga Ishita took her to the jail to have a closure for Ruhi which costed her dearly. Ruhi was jailed. After all that is clear again Ruhi found another boy, this time Ishita was listening to her neither encouraging nor discouraging but lending her an ear. Because she understood that Ruhi in her vulnerable condition can take the wrong step and could end up hurting herself too. She wants to make sure that is not going to happen and be there and guide her to see her choices clearly. I also believe that her getting to the bottom of the truth regarding Nikhil is to make sure that she has all the facts before Ruhi finds out through some third party and misunderstand her parents. Every MU these teens has against their parents will make the matter worse only. I guess Ishita is trying to avoid that.
Raman had no problems with Ruhi interacting with Nikhil until he heard pooja story. Then suddenly Nikhil is the bad guy. I am not encouraging Ruhi but there are ways to handle the teens and Raman failed as a father there.
Today's episode is completely chaotic because Raman and Adi both believed that Ruhi lied. Raman neither give Ishita an option to open her mouth nor ready to listen to Ruhi's explanation. When she questioned him, he lost it completely and slapped her. That is not the way to handle the explosive situation. He totally pushed Ruhi towards Nikhil in this erratic behavior blaming Ishita that she encouraged this.
Ishita, though it's too little too late but asked the right question about their relationship. If the problem is as parents they both would have talked, talked to Ruhi but he in his arrogance, completely shut down Ishita as a mother and once again tried to decide what's good for Ruhi. For a kid who lost her life once by his decisions how could she even allow it? He as a father can't see her suffering then what stopped him to listen to her when she was pleading to listen to the truth. He as a father caused more damage to Ruhi because he wants to decide. Raman failed as a father today once again.
Coming back to asking Ishita to choose him or Ruhi? What was he thinking? He is once again making Ruhi a choice for him? As a father how could he throw an emotionally vulnerable kid out of the house? And asking his wife to choose between him and her daughter? I think Ishita chose well today. She valued this relationship for a long time and carrying it as a cross forever. Any time it's disagreeable to Raman she is not his wife nor mother to his kids. He could throw her out at will and bring his ex any time he wants. His loyalty, understanding, concern and care and sharing about kids all are being enjoyed with Shagun while Ishita became a scape goat for anything that goes wrong in the house. For once today I am happy to see Ishita taking a stand for herself as a mother. Because the wife in her got brutally pushed, abused and killed.
Today the mother prevailed and the wife got killed. The help line with Adi, Pihu and Ruhi she knows that they may fight with her but will never ever discard her as a mother. She is wounded today both physically and mentally with the weight her husband gave her and to their marriage. All this time it was for the ones that are close to him his kids, ex, family etc. today it crossed all the boundaries and he discarded or asked her to choose between him and her daughter for a person who is not going to be a matter to them.
Parenting is an ongoing process and there is no one size fits all. We falter and fail and learn. But bottom line is we want to make sure that our kids don't suffer. And we try to promote healthy conversations between parent and child. Make the kid approach the parent. Just because we give birth doesn't give us right to force our choices on them.
I am hoping that CVS will show what Ishita was thinking when she was lending an ear to her daughter. But I couldn't connect to Raman flipping and pleading to his father about Ruhi. Ishita was trying to tell him the same as Bhallaji talk to Ruhi calmly. Why he ignored what Ishita was saying as if she doesn't matter. It is very clear from his behavior that Ishita holds no value in his life as a wife. In fact, though he was cheated by Shagun he seemed to be valuing her more than Ishita for reasons only known to him.
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