Posted:
Call this a drabble or the workings of a demented mind, quite saturated with the lack of empathy for characters, story or meaning that YHM post leap is turning into. Have penned something just as an antidote to detach from YHMitits I guess.
This is not meant to be a story or a OS..I really don't know what it is..but it's been running on my mind for a while (some folks on the forum know of my rantings, and they have been wanting to see something similar too)..so here goes...
One Last Time
Raman :
He was happy for some strange reason, Could he really call it happiness, he didn't know. Was that strange feeling in the pit of his stomach called happiness. Something he had forgotten in 7 yrs. He didn't know.
But was the day and time right to experience this. .he didn't know that too.
Ishita was okay... she was safe..he had not lost her again, heck he almost had, all over again , he thought. His body shuddered almost visibly at the thought. He pulled his coat closer to his body as he shut the ignition and stepped out off his car
He was just back at 2am, after a mind numbing day, grilling his lawyer and trying to get from him the name of the person who had tried to kidnap ruhi and harm ishita, he had forgotten to eat , to rest. .he felt like his life depended on making those 2 people who had by some twist of fate come back to his life safe...but it had been a waste.
But what those 12 odd hours had made him realize was that life was short, they had wasted 7 long yrs, but these last 3 days had matched the pain those 7 yrs had given him in abundance. Then he had cursed the heavens and his tongue and his fate..but this time he felt helpless and defenseless as never before , when he realized ishita was again in danger and he could lose her again. But the gods had listened to him. . And she was back. .in his house, in his children's lives..in his life..where she always belonged. ..
He didn't know whether he would find and punish the culprit. .but for tonight, that could wait, he needed to take this step forward and acknowledge her..acknowledge her as his. .not for the world, not for the kids, but for 'them'..he would tell her now, he would tell her tonight. ..
He walked up the few steps to his front door and paused at the entrance to the lobby in shock, his smile fading on his face as he felt a stinging in his eyes... a sight that he dreaded was playing out..one he had dreaded since the time he saw her back after 7 yrs, ...
Ishita was standing with Mani, her bag packed and silently standing at the door staring in. .wistfully, angrily? he couldn't see...all set to leave..to leave again. .to leave the house again..to leave him again..
He felt a strange pounding in his head and heart as he stumbled back, not wanting to interrupt the scene, and his hand got the door of the community hall few paces behind as he stumbled in, gasping for air.
Was he wrong, had he been hasty to imagine things would be back to like before , was he wrong wanting to start anew, was he wrong to think the kids would bind her to him n again, was he wrong to imagine she still cared for him. .she still loved him ..somewhere deep within..had he read too much...was it all over. ..would he be alone again. ..
A searing pain shot through his arm as he felt a strange burning in his chest, and the air strangely felt denser , he thought as he struggled to breathe and tried holding on to the few chairs piled around as his feet gave way.
Mr Bhalla, you need to really see a specialist, I have been warning you for a while that you need an intervention soon else it could lead to something very serious...another episode of this sort can be catastrophic. ..have you informed anyone in your family?, are you even listening to me Mr Bhalla?..Mr Bhalla?.?..that was 3 yrs back. .his brain was muddling up. .throwing up this scene. . For what?. .he had endured far more than this..life couldn't be this kind to him?..or could it...could it all just end.., was this the end he thought ...as he sank to the floor, the pain getting unbearable as his vision clouded...
His eyes seemed to want to shut, as he felt a strange darkness envelop him..
He wrung his hands out in an attempt to stop fate, or to reach out and hold on to the few memories he treasured..
Not yet..please., he wanted to say..
One Last time...he wanted to see his parents, his mother who he adored always, who loved him the way only a mother could, his father who he respected for the steadfast man he was...
One Last time...He wanted to see the face of his firstborn , his Adi, the tiny baby he had held in his arms once rocking him to sleep, who was now a strapping young man. He wanted to kick ball with him, to tall him through his heartbreaks, to applaud him for his succeses, to hug him close for being there for him when no one else was...just one last time...
One Last time...he wanted to see his Ruhi, a daughter who was his pride, who was back after an ordeal. Who he wanted to protect, to shower with love, to teach her to be strong and trust him...to ask her to love him the way she did. .one last time..he wanted to be her favorite papa again...
One Last time...he wanted to hold his last born Pihu, part him, part her. More her, less him. Tell her how she was the only living symbol ..an impossible dream of an impossible love...tell her how she had the 2 most wonderful parents no other child in the world did. That her mother was the woman her papa loved the most and she , pihu, was his only testimony of that love...
And One last time..he wanted to see her...see her like it was before that fateful day 7 yrs back. .
Her eyes, her smile, her anger, her blush, her anticipation, her jealousy..
Her honesty, her selflessness, her care, ...her love...the feel of her soft skin , the touch of her lips on his. ..the solace in the warmth of her arms and the peace in her soothing murmurings...
One Last time...he whispered. .to the empty room...as darkness set in...
To be Continued...
Anupamaa
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