Decipher
Betrayal. He is not a stranger to this word; he has had quite a bit of experience with that word. That word destroyed him once upon a time, but he thought that was all in the past. How wrong he was. Sometimes, the people you trust the most end up being the people who annihilate you in the worst kind of way.
Ishita. He was not a stranger to this word, either. It used to be a word he hated, from the bottom pits of his heart. A word he grew to become fond of. A word he gradually fell in love with. A word that ended up being his sanity, his whole existence.
Ishita and Betrayal. Never did he think these two words would fit in one sentence. But then again, life. Life is funny. Life is hilarious. It's never what one thinks it is. So why is he surprised Ishita and Betrayal came in one sentence.
He has had enough of it. It just took one moment, one tiny fallback to end it all. Three months. That's how long it was. That's how long he had been betrayed. It was all a plan, a plan to save his bloody life. What difference does it make when he isn't dead any less now? He hasn't grasped it yet, haven't been able to fathom the whole situation properly yet. He still has question, many questions...why? How? For what reason? When?
Questions she can't answer, because she wasn't given a chance. But even if she was, what could have she possibly said? Nothing. Because there is no explanation to the things she did the past three months, no explanation to the way she behaved, no explanation to the hurt everyone felt, to the hurt he felt, the hurt their children felt. No explanation to the tears he cried, tears he cried every single day. Every single day was a challenge to get through, every single day was appalling. Every single day it was hard. Every single day, it was like walking and breathing fire, too hard to breathe. Watching her in a condition he did not understand or believe in. Possession. That's what she made everyone believe it is. That's what's been devastating them for the past three months.
Possession. Funny. He was someone who didn't believe in any of them and never wished it on anyone, not even his worst enemy. But she did. She made him believe in something that was beyond his competence. Something he never thought he would believe let alone accept. Now that he thinks about it, he wishes she was possessed instead of this being a plan of hers and her little group. At least that way, it would make it easier for him to forgive. And that is all he wants to do right now, to forgive her. But forgiving her is something he can't do, not yet at least. Maybe not ever. He admits he hasn't been the best husband, either. He has had his own share of mistakes. He betrayed her too. So forgiving her shouldn't be that hard, should it? Then why is it? Why is it so hard?
Maybe it's because it's Ishita. It's the one person who he thought would never betray him, that ended up betraying him. It was the one person he trusted the most. The one person he fully gave his life to. They spoke about trusting each other, about believing in each other, about telling each other everything. About being truthful. About growing old together. They took vows, to keep each other happy forever. She promised to be his strength, be with him forever, he is her love, her friend. Then why. Why did she give him grief when she promised to always make him happy? Why did she weaken him, break and damage him when she promised to be his strength. If he was her love and her friend, why did she feign possession, when she could have told him everything. Told everyone everything made it much, much easier for everyone. Why did she have to go and construct a plan that would put their whole relationship, something they have been working for nearly two years, something as beautiful as their bond in jeopardy?
All these thoughts crossed his mind as he was wandering alone in the beach. He needed to get out, his own house, a place which once was his solace, has become so suffocating, it was eating him alive. He needed to get out of the place, but most importantly, he needed to get out from her. Her. He was harsh with her, he regrets it, but at the moment, the only thing visible to him was his pain. The pain she gave him, for a whole three months.
It's been over three hours now, since he's left the house. He's sure everyone is searching for him. They don't know he escaped, no one noticed, because they were in their own sense of despair, their own tragedy. She didn't just betray him, she betrayed his whole family. Their whole family. He checked his phone to have received over 20 miscalls. From her. He knows she is worried sick and that strangely brought a slight smile on his face. He likes it, he wants it, he needs it and he craves it. He wants her to hurt, just as much as she has been hurting him for the past three months. He wants her to experience what he had been going through, the pain she put him through. The misery. Every single day. Every single day he woke up with the thought of losing her and every single day, it took away all he had in him to even think of losing her. But the irony is, he has. He has lost her.
He is grateful the beach is secluded because the last thing he needs is interaction, any form of interaction with anyone. He thought about what he had told her earlier today. He thought about her. It was always her. His first thought when he woke up, and his last thought when he went to sleep. It was, is and will always be her. And he was damn sure of it. Even when she betrayed him beyond repair.
Shagun. It hurt him. It hurt him that the one person she trusted more than him was Shagun. The other person who destroyed him. If Shagun destroyed him then what Ishita did wrecked and ruined him for good. There was no coming back from this.
His phone vibrated. It was Ishita. He cut the call. He couldn't talk to her. Not now. He knew she is worried and even though the thought made him smile earlier, it's making him benevolent now. Because the truth of the matter is he loves her. Even after everything that she has done, he will always love her. Because he promised to love her with her flaws. Love her for her entirety. And even though she broke her promises, he never will. Which is why despite him demanding her to never wear her mangalsutra again, to him telling her they have no relationship anymore, he knows, deep in his heart he will go back to her. He will forgive her because she is his life. She is half of him.
So he ignored her calls. Let her bask in her own misery for a while, elevating his ego, his self-respect, before it all goes down in the drain when he sees her. One look at her face, and he knows all his walls will break down. Because how can you live without a person, who is your life. And that is what she was, is and will always be. His life, his sanity, his solace, his existence.
The End. Hope you liked it. Please comment below.😊
Edited by -Atii- - 9 years ago
Anupamaa
Cricket
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