a nagging thought - Page 4

Originally posted by: RomComFan

G!
I am in the mood to think, because I am free as a bird today and I miss your posts... so gonna grab some tea and be back ..because this questions is really something to be considered as a general viewer.. plus it allows me to put on my armchair psychologist hat, and you know I can;t resist that. 😛


But before I leave, I don't know why , but I thought of this when I thought of the current show sittuation- does it apply as Ishita's message to Raman? Or the viewers message to EK?




Not sure on that... will be back, because I MISS YOU!❤️

Originally posted by: anu rulz

I think despite all proclaimations of complete trust and being soulmates, etc, ishita and raman are two very strong headed individuals who do amazingly idiotic impulsive things which come back to bite them..they simply do not think of working as a team at the first instant..sharing comes as an afterthought..and i personally feel tht is where they go wrong..every single time..this time of course raman has gone so far along the crossed line, i doubt he can even see the line..and personally no justification whatsoever can be given for the signature taken without telling her..for the second time!! No matter where the track goes, whether its a scam or not, i cannot get over the sheer misogyny of this track..

Originally posted by: charminggenie

I get your attachment for this show because somewhere I can relate to it.

Your question is very intriguing. But for me the answer lies between respect and love. Is love solely enough on it's own ? Can there even be a love without respect. Or can we as humans let go of self-respect and freedom of choice for the sake of love.

I would not question how you perceive his love for Ishita but this is about a general psychological aspect of husband-wife relationship. Whatever be the reasons he encroached on Ishita's choice as a woman and decided the course for her motherhood. Love might be his reason but he disrespected Ishita, took her for granted and became the "Man" and not the husband of their equation.

Somewhere it reeks of internalized patriarchy too. Even if this whole drama be a scam, it doesn't set him free because nobody forced or compelled him for this. His wife refused it once and yet he went against it on his own.

A decision he took independent of any external. Does it really matter if the surrogate womb be of Shagun or any Anjali? The moment he went and made the decision to see a womb for Ishita - he lost it. For most it's easy to blame Shagun ( I get that , she is unnecessary) but the bigger picture is Raman just couldn't ever read what Ishita needed. Right from his baby chants to consulting doctors on his own . Do we now really care what happens to Shagun or pregnancy, has he by thinking and taking over his wife's choice for procreation destroyed it beyond.

Even his realization won't save it for me , because that will make Ishita weak .

This was a sensitive thing for her - she has lived with severe insecurities about her abilities to procreate - by taking the decision from her, Raman has betrayed her like nobody did ever.

For me , a separation is a must. Remove Shagun. Let Ishita walk away, make something of her life..love is not the only thing as clearly she should be learning now. And because it's fiction, after some years both should meet/talk and first strike a friendship, take it slow and build on their relationship/communication and then think of getting back. This way you can atleast reboot the love story. Try to keep this relationship just about them and not even for the sake of kids.

But honestly, the hurt is already there, we are looking for excuses to numb it. If they redeem Raman, they do injustice to Ishita and womanhood in general.

I would touch on a word which many might not agree but I feel like putting it out there- "emotional abuse" thats what has happened to her , intentionally or not. Would we advice any woman to go back to such a husband even for love? We kept on pushing for them even when he used to make her feel inferior because of her infertility or shout at her , we sought his reasons yet we pushed Ishita to him because we tried numbing his actions by reasons to justify them every single time and frankly now too we are doing the same. How does it differ from society's reaction to a Domestic abuse victim- go back to your husband because he loves you, go back to him because he will change, go back to him because he is stupid and has no sense.

By hoping for them to be together, we are actually doing all that and adding to their toxic relationship which clearly needs to unfurl , distance and time..if ever.

Originally posted by: RomComFan

Thirs post, sorry... but i can't resist.

Because you mentioned one of my favorite tracks in reference to this, and because I think we can all use a reminder of what this how used to be... my two favorite moments from one of my top three tracks ever on this show:





What I wouldn't give to have that RKB back...

Originally posted by: RomComFan

G,
I love you even more then usual for this post, seriously. And I completely understand your point. As viewers, we invest into the show and characters, in essence we enter into a relationship with them and you have the right to expect a certain fulfillment from them; which is why there are so many protests when the fans are denied that experience. We made an investment, we want the return, plain and simple in capitalist terms I suppose.

It will be easy to say intentions never matter, actions speak louder then words- that's my professional POV ... but to some extent intentions does matter. The issue for me, is that his intention Itself is a bit muddled. He wants to give her a child, fine. But that is despite her protestation to the contrary- is it because 'he knows her better' in that she actually means she is unhappy not having a bio child though she says she is not? The yes means no argument? 😕

And if that's the case, if he knows her that well, then how is he oblivious to the hurt he is putting her through by his inattention and secrets? How can he know her so well so well in one way, and yet still be so blind in the other? I am utterly confused on this... because after how far they have come, at least this much he should know of her.

And your talk of trust- bang on. This has been their issue from the start. Actually, it has been his issue from the start. In his previous relationship with Shagun he went into the relationship having too much trust and he got burned, he stopped believing in his ability to judge and turned bitter, met Ishu and developed a relationship where trust has no place. And though they talk about their building of trust, the fact is , every single time something goes wrong with them trust is the missing component. And every time they make promises to change, and don't... this cycle is rather tiresome, no longer cute and needs to change. 🤔

Shagun is a clog in the wheel, but maybe she is necessary in a way. The fact is, no matter what he says RKB has never banished he ghost of Shagun. And maybe this is the chance for that to happen. However that comes about. One of the things that always bothered me on the show is the way he always compared Ishita to Shagun... and maybe now that they are both 'good' that comparison will stop... or will Ishita be cast in Shagun's old role? 😕

If it comes to that, then he will truly become unrecognizable. I would hope, that putting both women on 'equal footing' [for a while atleast, coz come on- how can the queen of barely there blouses sustain on these clothes indefinitely? 🤢] can bring about some serious self reflection from RKB, that would be a treat.

So maybe this is the way to go, the separation. A part of me wants it because i feel bitter about the fall of the story, but I also legitimately believe this story and this couple need a break. Because of the way they came together, they never got a real chance to get to know each other- to learn the things you learn as you date and grow together. The things a 'normal' couple does before they have a family. ISHRA never got that chance, even as they fell in love it was always with the family around them and was greatly affected by seeing the other person in that mother/father role. So maybe it's time they both took stock and learned to see the other as just a man/woman and learn what they value as that. And for that a separation is a must.

For Ishita to become a woman that the viewers can respect and cheer on, a separation is a must. For Raman to become RKB and the kind of man the female viewers want to admire and adore, a separation is a must. They need a somewhat clean slate, away from each other, some breathing room... and a chance to really recognize what the other person is and brings to their life outside of the parental role to their children... and to see if that is a person they like/want in their lives.😕 Not a divorce, a legal separation in different abodes...shall I file the papers?😃

Sorry I anted to say something else and this took off n some weird tangent, but I hope it still makes sense!

@ Genie: You have no idea how happy I was seeing you on this forum and post- bang on girl! Your words are always magic and I am officially a stalker, just so you know!😛

@ Becks: There is a way to do this track, atleast the separation one and respect both the characters, but i fear that integrity and intelligence is no longer a thing that can be expected on this show.

Originally posted by: -Gan-

Aww I missed this Anu calm voiced analysis so much...

Yes you have raised some very valid points...and it's hard for us Ishra fans but the fact of the matter is until Raman doesn't completely bury his ghost with Shagun as his ex , this kind of things are going to happen...we want her to be just the biological mother of his two kids but somehow their history keeps on coming back...not from anyone else but from Raman. And with this track that whole line is getting muddled without him fully realizing or him not wanting to look that way to keep his conscience clean.

And what bothers me the most is in his obsession to get a child for Ishita, he is risking his relationship with her and without that relationship what is the point of having a child? And my question is HOW in the world gifting a child borne out of Shagun or for that matter anyone else's womb would make Ishita forget that she can't ever bear a child on her own? Wasn't that the only reason Raman wanted to have a child with Ishita? How did all of those completely become secondary?

Surrogacy is a wonderful option for a lot of couple, but here in Ishra's case it was absolutely unnecessary. It's forced for a different purpose and for that they compromised everything..including the premise of the show. And that hurts me as an audience. And the blatant disregard for Ishita's wishes or her opinion, insults the woman in me. the mother of a daughter that I'm. And if people think this is about feminism, I would say...no it's rather about a woman's right over her own body about her consent about procreation...you can't violate that just because this is a fiction. Fiction needs to have some boundaries too.