Hello everyone, as I am knee deep in my board prep and frankly had a mini meltdown of sorts I figured I will take a break, I would have caught up with the show but I was advised by good friends not to watch considering my stress level right now with the exam, so I did the next best thing and wrote down a little something to take a break from the world of pulmonary diseases.
Apologies in advance for this very disjointed and erroneous piece.
OS: Choti Choti Baatein
As Ishita and Raman with their family in tow walked out of a very tiring day in court, their eyes chased the very car that took away their soul. Their little girl, their reason for living, the very existence of their living was being driven away from their life when their relationship stands on the precipice of love. There were not words to be spoken, no eyes that need to be met, and no hands that need to be held, two people just stood amongst their family broken and shattered just trying to breathe and do the necessary to prolong life.
Ishita sensing the tension in the air, let go of her hurt and hugged Adi welcoming him to the Bhalla family, meanwhile Raman's eyes remained fixated at the smoke, the very smoke that came out of the exhaust of the very car that ferried away his daughter far from her. Before Raman could return to his senses, Ishita had already sent Adi home with the Bhallas while she patiently waited for her husband to return to the reality. The reality of their daughter, the daughter they no longer could protect, the daughter who they betrayed, the daughter whose pious love fertilized theirs, and the daughter who brought life to their relationship. Upon seeing Raman engrossed in the disappearance of the car amidst the smoke, she taped him on the shoulder to break his reverie.
Ishita: Raman please take me home.
Without uttering a single word they both headed to their car and with the quite in tow they headed towards their home, a home they had built out of love, trust, co-operation and togetherness, their very home was threatened to becoming a house again, regressing back to the days were light didn't enter, where two individuals lived under the same roof with deep contempt and mutual hatred towards each other.
Neither Ishita, nor Raman spoke a word, just when the deafening silence amidst them was threatening to tear their eardrums apart they heard a soothing voice over the loud speaker.
Ishita: Could you please pull over.
Raman: But Ishita we need to go home, everyone is waiting for us.
Ishita: I have no home anymore and Raman there is no everyone with Ruhi, so please pull over.
Raman understood Ishita's plight and expected this from her but he was happy that she finally spoke to him, she hadn't made eye contact with him and she hadn't spoken to him since he acknowledged stealing the papers this morning. Ishita silently had heard his plea and the reasoning behind his actions, she heard everyone from the family speak but she had remained quite. She only spoke 5 words in the court, the words that haunt her, haunt him and haunt their little daughter.
"I don't want Ruhi's custody"
Those 5 words were the only words he had heard her speak until now. He pulled over to the side and got out of the car following Ishita. After a silent 5 minute walk, Ishita and Raman found themselves entering Bangla Sahib, the holy Gurdwara in Connaught place.
Ishita covered her head with her saree paloo and helped Raman tie his handkerchief around his forehead, with that she took his hand in hers and walked towards the calm and serenity that this place was exuding. As they walked hand in hand towards the shrine, their eyes let out the agony in the form of tears, their bodies trembling in pain, their feet aching at walking away from their daughter and their hearts pounding for having separated from their soul, they marched on broken and bruised towards the Guru Granth Sahib to seek solace and to seek guidance in these trying times.
After what felt like a cathartic walk towards the shrine, they found a small-secluded corner to rest their tired souls, Ishita kept her head on his shoulder as they stared at thousands of devotees march towards the shrine.
R: You know when I was growing up, I used to stay up all night with friends watching movies and playing games and then in the morning around 6 AM we would all take our cycle and peddle ourselves over here. To witness the glory of Bangla Sahib early in the morning is something else and then on the way back eat chole bhature for breakfast before passing out for the day only to repeat this again the next day.
I: I know the mornings here are beautiful, there is calm that takes over this place, people aren't rushing, there isn't a timetable, it's just you and the serenity that surrounds you.
R: Since when did you start coming here?
I: With Ruhi...
And the next thing Raman heard was sound of sobbing and uncontrollable bawling; he immediately took Ishita into his arms and tried to pacify her tears.
R: Shhh Ishita, please please complete what you were saying, with ruhi you used to visit here and then what? Make me see this place through my Ruhi's eyes please.
Raman cradled Ishita till her tears stopped and wiped away the remaining drops from her face, he stood up and held his arm out for Ishita to grab.
R: Please show me Bangla Sahib through Ruhi's eyes.
With that Ishita got up, wiped Raman's tears and walked over to the sarovar(pond)
I: She would always want to take a dip here as soon as she would arrive, our first time here I didn't prepare enough, so she took a dip and then she was wet the entire time we were here and our ride back home. Remember she had a cold 7 months ago and my front car seat was wet for which we you had yelled at me usual. Well our Ruhi had put her wet bum on the seat and then the rest they say is history.
With that Ishita wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, and continued
I: So I learnt my lesson, I got an extra pair of clothing for the little devil and as soon as she was done taking a dip here, I was ready with a towel and a change of clothes.
Raman smiled at that little anecdote, held Ishita's hand and lowered in the water just enough to wet their feet. He looked over to Ishita and it seemed that the water they were standing in was flowing from her eyes, he wrapped his hands around her and wiped away her tears and escorted them out of the pond.
As they were walking towards the langar (food) house Raman's handkerchief started coming loose, Ishita chuckled and tied his handkerchief around his forehead covering his head.
R: Why are you laughing?
I: like daughter like father! No matter how many times I would tie the rumal (handkerchief) around Ruhi's forehead she would somehow manage to loosen it, making me run behind her and tighten it.
This was the first time Raman let out a chuckle amidst the tears, he held onto Ishita's hands and walked towards the langar. While they were being served food, he made a face at Gobi's sabzi making Ishita roll her eyes.
I: Raman yeh Prasad hai, aise muh nahi banate (Raman this God's offering, don't make faces at it please)
R: Toh Prasad kuch tasty rakhna chahiye (So the offering should be tasty)
Ishita took a piece of roti put gobhi in it and shoved it in Raman's mouth and with that tears started flowing down her face.
R: Ruhi ko bhi isi tarah (You used to feed Ruhi similarly)
Ishita nodded in agreement and kept feeding Raman, while Raman wiped her tears away and tried to eat while fighting his own tears.
It was 11 PM by the time they got home, without a word Ishita and Raman entered their room and took the respective sides of their bed. They kept tossing and turning as sleep evaded them all night. Ishita finally got up and headed towards the balcony, she placed herself on the balcony floor, the night was stormy, dark, the moon covered with clouds, gloom all over and silence broken by the chirping crickets. Ishita took out her phone and started playing the radio, she open the camera app and started scrolling through Ruhi's pictures.
The Radio played Raat Hamari toh
ratiya kaari kaari ratiya
Night, black, black night
ratiya andhiyaari ratiya
Stormy night
raat hamaari to
Our night
chaand ki saheli hai
is a friend of the moon.
kitne dinon ke baad
After such a long time,
aayi woh akeli hai
she has come alone
For some reason Ishita appreciated this moonless stormy night, the harsh wind and noise forced her to asses her situation, her life without Ruhi, her life with Raman without Ruhi, her life as a Bhalla without Ruhi. She looked out at the cloudy sky thanking the storm for being her companion, because on this fateful night even a stormy companion would help her heal over the trauma of losing her existence. Her life after all resembled this lightless stormy night.
andhera paagal hai
The darkness is mad;
kitna ghanera hai
how dense it is!
chubhta hai Dasta hai
It pierces me; it bites me;
phir bhi woh mera hai
even so, it is mine.
uski hi godi mein
In its lap,
sar rakhke sona hai
I'll rest my head to sleep.
uski hi baahon mein
In its arms,
chupke se rona hai
I'll hide myself to cry.
Before she could realize, she felt Raman's head lay in her lap whilst his big eyes staring at her face, at that very moment she realized that no matter what, no matter how hurtful, how deceitful, how untrustworthy and how callous the relationship, it is between Raman and her, it's still their relationship and when she was about to fly away in this stormy night, he placed her head in his lap to ground her to him and to them! He ground her to himself, his world and their reality. With that realization, Ishita put her hand on his forehead and soothed away his worries, she wiped her tears, looked down at him and said,
I: It's 2 AM Raman we should sleep, we have a Son to raise and daughter we need to fight for, I need my partner, I need you! Like you anchored me down tonight in this stormy night I need you to anchor me down in all the storms we face.
While looking up at her big honest beautiful eyes he said,
R: Ruhi ko bhi toofani raat main aise hi sulati thi? (you used to make Ruhi sleep in your lap during such stormy nights?)
I: Nahin, par aisi toofani raaton ko aapka haath pakadkar zaroor guzarati thi (No, but I used to spend such stormy nights by holding your hand)
R: Toh aaj bhi pakad lo (Then hold it tonight)
With that he got up from her lap, took her in his arms and held her hands in his, they got up from the balcony headed to their bed knowing that with their hands intertwined it was only matter of time before their daughter returned turning their house into their home!
It is true what they say, after all is said and done, men need to be loved and women need to feel wanted.
Qasam hai tumhe tum agar mujhase ruthe
Qasam hai tumhe tum agar mujhase ruthe
Rahe saans jab tak, ye bandhan na toote
Tumhen dil diya hai, ye vaada kiya hai
Sanam main tumhaari rahungi sada
Ye raaten, ye mausam, nadi ka kinaara, ye chanchal hava
------------------------------------------------------------
Apologies for errors and this probably is far removed from the current storyline but in my mind I can't see Ishita and Ruhi separating so I had to do this for my sanity.
Members Lounge
