Part 8B
Kya keeje?
Ishita watched contentedly as Raman lifted the sleeping Ruhi into his arms.
It was almost 5.00pm, and the mid afternoon matinee of Frozen had just finished. Ruhi had sat between the two of them, popcorn in hand and had excitedly watched most of the movie. However, the long day had finally caught up with her, and some ten minutes ago, she had fallen into slumber.
The movie had been a fitting finale to a wonderful day. Although Ishita had initially insisted that Raman simply drop her off at the mall, she had melted in the face of Ruhi's pleading and had agreed to stay with Ruhi and her papa instead.
"But Ruhi beta, yeh toh aap ki aur aap ki papa ka time hai na?" She had tried to reason with Ruhi.
{But Ruhi beta, this is your time with your papa}
"Lekin Ishita aunty, papa mere best papa hai aur aap mere best friend ho. Aap dono mere faviroutes ho, is liye" Ruhi had turned her big puppy dog eyes on Ishita and Ishita had glanced desperately at Raman. {But Ishita aunty, papa is my best papa and you are my best friend, you both are my faviroutes, that's why}
"Bhav mat khao madrassan" he had drawled. "You won't find any better company than us anywhere, and you know it" But his words had no sting in them, and in fact had been accompanied by an enigmatic look which carried more than a hint of request. "Please Ishita" he said a moment later, and Ishita had capitulated. He had smiled then, a smile that reached his eyes and Ishita had looked away, confused.
Raman did not know why it was so important to him that Ishita accompany him and Ruhi, but now that he had seen her again, he was loath to let her out of his sight. This day had been supposed to be for him and Ruhi, and he had stopped Simi and Rinki from coming along, but Ishita seemed to fit into their little team- it was as if she was a part of them, as if she belonged. And he had not been able to hide his joy when she agreed.
They had spent a few hours shopping for Ruhi, interspersed with breaks for ice cream, juice and sandwiches. Raman and Ishita had stood together watching Ruhi playing in the children's playground area, and Ishita had noticed with surprised delight the way that Raman was reaching out to Ruhi. He was still a bit hesitant, still somewhat tentative, but his love for Ruhi showed in his care for her - the way he soothed her when she had a little fall on the swings; the way he wiped away her ice cream moustache and tucked a napkin around her neck. Ishita tried not to intrude on the father and daughter moments, but could not help feeling a deep sense of contentment at the loving bond that she could see unfolding before her eyes.
She had been so wrong about him, she thought ruefully. To think that she had accused him of being a bad father when she could see now just how much he cared for his little daughter.
He had caught her staring at him many times during the day, and she had caught him doing the same. Each time their eyes met, her heart flipped, but then his disavowal of love and the hurtful words he had said to her at the chalet would come back to her, and she would look away.
After a fun few hours, they had finally gone to the theatre to see Frozen. Ruhi had taken the middle seat between Ishita and Raman and in between digging into her caramel popcorn, had held on firmly to her papa and her Ishita aunty on either side of her. Raman had spent most of the time glancing from the excited look on his daughters face to the equally awed look on Ishita's face, as they both giggled and ahhed together over the fairy tale on screen.
He felt a deep contentment seeing them together - the smiles they shared, their giggles fusing together as they clutched hands and shared Ruhi's popcorn. She had noticed him looking at her and he had pointed at the popcorn to hide his confusion. "Do you want some?" She had asked. "No, but you'd better stop eating that, moti" he had retorted, only to be answered by the popcorn she threw at him as she had pouted.
**********************************************************************************************************
Now the movie was over and he had Ruhi secured in his arms, Ishita beside him. "Let's take this sleeping beauty home" he said, smiling down at Ishita and she smiled back, running her hand lovingly over Ruhi's hair. Her hand grazed his cheek as she did so, and he felt a frisson, something electric, run through him. She must have felt it too, for she withdrew her hand in confusion. "Sorry " she whispered.
They reached the car without further conversation. Ishita sat in the front seat and Raman put Ruhi on her lap. As Ishita cradled the sleeping child, he brought the seatbelt around her to clip it in place. His hand touched her salwar clad hips. It was inevitable. That same frisson of feeling passed between them. That too was inevitable. He remained kneeling by her open door, his hand on her hip, entirely still. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by how she felt when he was near. She felt him move in, closer to her. His hand moved to her cheeks as she felt his breath fanning her face.
"Meri popcorn kahan hai" He sprung apart from her as Ruhi's voice piped up between them, closing her door and moving rapidly to his own side.
He started the car as Ishita spoke soothingly to Ruhi, who was in that querulous state that comes between sleep and awareness. He kept his eyes straight ahead as the car pulled out of the car park, concentrating on the road ahead. His blood pounded in his ears, drowning out the noises around him. "What is wrong with you Raman" he asked himself, trying to calm himself down.
As his breath returned and his senses rightened, he realised Ruhi was speaking to him.
"Kya Ruhi, sorry, what were you saying?"
"Can we stop somewhere for ice-cream Papa? Mujhe phir bhukh lagi hai" {I'm hungry again"}
"Ask Ishita aunty" he said, knowing he should say no, but wanting any excuse to prolong this journey.
"Ishita aunty?"Ruhi twisted around to face Ishita. "Can we stop for ice-cream?"
Ishita took a deep breath. She had no idea what she had been saying to Ruhi, no idea what she was doing here, no idea why she let this man affect her like this time and time again. Her pounding heart, her shortened breath - it was as if he cast a spell, turned her from a normal woman to a quivering mess.
"Ishita aunty" Ruhi repeated, shaking her shoulder.
"Huh?No, no Ruhi, no ice-cream. Tum ne enough sweets kha liya hai aaj. Cavities ho jayegi, aur raat ko neend bhi nahi aayegi." {"No Ruhi, you've had enough sweets for one day. You'll get cavities and you won't be able to sleep tonight"}
Ruhi was quiet for a little while, snuggling into Ishita, then twisted around again.
"So can we stop at the park then? Mujhe slide karna hai" {"I want to play on the slide"}
"No, Ruhi. I have to get home. Please." She looked only at Ruhi, not wanting to meet her father's eyes, not wanting to see what they said to her.
"But why Ishita aunty. Abhi toh raat nahi hui na" {it's not night time yet}
"Because I have to go home for dinner Ruhi. Mere yahan visitors aa rahe hai" {Some visitors are coming to my place}
"Aap ki family hai kya?" {are they your family?}
"Nahi beta, family nahi hai, friends hai." {No beta, they are friends}
"Aap ke special friends hai?" {Are they your special friends}
"Nahi Ru, hum sab ki friends hai, hamari family ki." {No Ru, they a family friends}
"Toh aap ki mumma aur papa unhe dekh lenge na. Aap humare saath raho." {Then your Mumma and papa can look after them, can't they? You stay with us}
"No, Ru, I have to go, they are coming to meet me beta, so I have to be there."
"Aap se kyun milne aa rahe hai Ishita aunty?" {Why are they coming to meet you Ishita aunty?}
Ishita glanced at Raman. He was staring straight ahead at the road, but the rigid set of his shoulders told her that he was listening to everything that was being said.
She took a deep breath as Raman turned the car into their street. They were almost home.
"Woh mujhe dekhne aa rahe hai Ruhi. Shaadi ke liye."
{They are coming to see me Ruhi. For marriage}
A loaded silence followed her words. Ruhi had been playing with Ishita's dupatta, and for the moment, her concentration was on the swirly fabric. Ishita stole a glance at Raman. A mask appeared to have come over his face, the only emotion expressed by his thinly compressed lips.
She sat numbly as Raman pulled into their compound, slamming the car into his parking space.
"Aww papa" Ruhi squealed as she lurched forward, held back by Ishita's arms.
"Sorry Ruhi" Raman's voice was as cold as ice. He jumped out of the car and was at Ishita's door, opening it before she could begin to reach out to the handle. "Ruhi" he repeated, reaching in and grabbing his daughter, before standing her down on the ground. "Go home. Mein baad mein aata hoon." {Go home, I'll be in later}
"Ishita aunty, come na"Ruhi looked up at Ishita with a smile.
"Ruhi, tumhari Ishita aunty se mujhe baat karna hai. Woh baad mein aayegi. You go now, and go straight home." {Ruhi, your Ishita aunty and I need to talk, she'll come later too.}
"Okay papa, bye Ishita aunty" Ruhi ran off unfazed, waving at her father and Ishita.
Raman watched her climb the stairs then moved back slightly from Ishita's door, allowing her to alight.
"Come with me" he ordered, grabbing her hand.
"Raman, what are you doing, koi dekh lega. Kya samjhenge log" {Someone will see us. What will people think?}
"I don't care" he muttered pulling her to the community hall just beside the stairs. Ishita glanced around nervously, but apart from the bored looking security guard who stared at them curiously, there was, thankfully, no one else around.
"Door kholo" Raman motioned at the door to the guard, who ran and opened the same, the curiosity on his face changing to a grin as he looked pointedly at Ishita's hand in Raman's.
"Tu hus kya raha hai saale. Apne kaam se kaam rakh" Raman threw back at the guard as he shoved Ishita insides and followed her in, banging the door closed behind them.
**********************************************************************************************************
Ishita stood just inside the door in the deserted hall, her back to Raman, furious tears stinging at her eyes.
She heard him lock the door, and then heard his footsteps approach her. The next moment, she felt his hand on her shoulder as he jerked her around roughly, his hands on both her shoulders as he brought her face close to his.
"Now explain" he muttered through gritted teeth.
Ishita jerked his hands away and stepped back.
"Explain what Raman? And why? If anyone needs to explain it's you. How dare you? How dare you drag me in here like...like I'm some...some thing, embarrass me in front of the guard...what gives you the right? Huh? Who the damn hell do you think you are anyway?"
He moved forward and grabbed her again, pulling her to him and clasping her to his chest.
"This" he said, his voice thickening. "This gives me the right" He moved his hands to her face, cradling it, as he lowered his lips towards her.
"No" Ishita cried as she pushed him away. "No, Raman. What do you mean, this gives you the right. What is this, huh? Proof that you want me? So? You've made your position very clear. So what am I supposed to do? Hang around so you can kiss me whenever you feel in the mood? And then what? Tell me, then what?"
Raman stood still as she spoke. He knew everything she said was true, and yet, how could he explain to her what he himself did not understand.
"So what" he asked quietly, trying to calm himself down." One day back and you're going to marry some random guy. Why is marriage so damn important to you anyway?"
"He is not some random guy, he is an old friend. And I haven't decided to marry him, I'm just meeting him today to talk about it. And marriage is important Raman. We don't live in isolation, we live in society and marriage is important, it's expected, it's how we form families."
"Spare me your lectures" he moved a step closer to her. "So marriage is important huh? You can just go and marry this...this old friend of yours...just like that. Then explain this to me Ishita"
"What?"she asked
"This" he said and pulled her fiercely to him, capturing her lips with his. Ishita struggled briefly against him, then felt herself relaxing as his lips continued grinding against hers. She moaned and opened her mouth, giving him the release he sought. She heard him moan too, as he tightened his arms around her, his hands desperately clutching at her as he pulled her closer and closer still. Her arms went around him too, caressing his broad shoulders before inching up his neck and nestling in his hair.
He deepened the kiss, drinking of her as if he would draw her very soul out. She felt herself soaring, flying, and then crashing, as the reality of their situation hit her again. Salty tears ran from her eyes and down her cheeks, even as she clung to him more desperately. He tasted those tears and wrenched himself away from her, cradling her face in his hands again. "No, baby please, don't cry, I'm sorry...I'm sorry" and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close caressing her back while berating himself.
"Raman, I can't do this" she whispered brokenly, pulling away again.
He made no move to hold her again, looking away as she used her dupatta to wipe her face, patted her clothes in place. Self loathing rose in him, and he covered his face with his hands.
What was he doing? What was he thinking? He had felt an unbearable anger when she spoke of her wedding, after the day together when he had felt they were a family, when his heart had been singing a song his mind forbade him from humming. He felt an uncontrollable jealousy towards her unknown friend, the suitor who had the courage to take the step that he, Raman Kumar Bhalla, was so damn scared of.
He looked up and saw her move toward the door.
"Ishita, wait" his voice was hoarse, his tears unshed. "I'll take the guard away. You can go then. And Ishita...I'm sorry. I don't know what to feel, I know how unfair I'm being to you, but the thought of you with someone else, I know I'm not making any sense, but I can't see you with someone else Ishita. I can't." His voice trailed off, as his words registered in his mind and his heart. A look of utter shock settled on his face as he wrenched the door open and strode out.
Ishita stood perfectly still. She could hear the confusion in his voice, but it only made her own resolve clearer. She watched as he stepped out, then waited a few moments before she herself left the room. She needed to go up, to get ready, to meet Abhi, her old friend who could be her husband. But she knew she could not marry him, when her heart and soul cried out for the tortured troubled man who had just left her.
She had reached her home, and could hear the sounds of Carnatic music and her amma's voice resonating inside. She fixed a smile on her face and opened the door.
*********************************************************************************************************
Dil toh hai dil
Dil ka aitbaar kya keeje
Aa gaya jo kisi pe pyar kya keeje
Aa gaya jo kisi pe pyar kya keeje
Dil toh hai dil...
Yaadon mein teri Khoi
Raaton ko main na soi
Haalat yeh mere man ki
Jaane na jaane koi
Barso hi tarsi ankhen
Jaagi hai pyaasi raatein
Aai hai aate aate hothon pe dil ki baatein
Pyaar me tere dil ka mere kuch bhi ho anjaam
Beqarrari mein hai iqraar kya keeje
Aa gaya jo kisi pe pyaar Kya keeje
Chaye hai man mein mere
Madhosh naina tere
Ghere hai tan ko mere
Teri bahoon ke ghere
Doori sahi na jaaye
Chain kahin na aaye
Chalna hai ab to teri palkon ke saaye saaye
Bas na chale re
Shaam sawere
Le ke tera naam
Dil dhakadta hai baar baar kya keeje
Aa gaya jo kisi pe pyaar Kya keeje
Dil toh hai dil
Movie: Muqaddar ka Sikandar
Lyrics: Anjaan
Part 9A Yeh Dooriyaan - pg 75
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/120795681 Edited by Veeann - 10 years ago
Arjun
12