Parchaiyaan: A Short Story | Part 3: Page 4

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desikalakaar

@desikalakaar

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Hellooo YHMians!

I'm not really new to the forum, so I don't really know what to say in introduction of myself.

I'm Kriya, have been a part of IF for a few years now. I was mainly active in the Dill Mill Gayye forum and then the Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon forum, but since those shows have been out of my life, I've decided to hop into the Yeh Hai Mohabbatein forum!

A lot of you may have seen me commenting on select posts, but mind you, I read all of them. I'm just really really lazy, but sometimes I feel like making my presence known. This is one of those times.

I wrote a lot in the Dill Mill Gayye forum (and got a good response), so I thought that I should try to contribute my two cents to this forum as well.

I posted an OS a while ago, called Dil Bechara Kya Kare, but I didn't get that many responses. Hope this one gets different reviews?

As for this story...

I don't know how many parts there are going to be, but I do know this. I write from the heart, and when my heart's not in my writing, I tend to eradicate it. Let me know if you think there's heart in this piece.

I'm a believer of postivity. So this story will be a little different than Ekta's Yeh Hai Mohabbatein. Characters are the same, story line is same upto Shagun finding Mihika and Ashok together in bed.

Hope you enjoy! Would love to hear some comments about how to improve!

(deep breath)

Here goes.

(note: I've said that this is "An OS." I haven't specified what couple or ship it is, because I'm not sure if it focuses on a certain couple, and I don't want to give out false expectations!)

Index:

1. Page 1 | x |

2. Page 2 | x |

3. Page 4 | x |

Edited by desikalakaar - 10 years ago

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desikalakaar

@desikalakaar

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Parchaiyaan--A Story of Mohabbatein

Ishita walked up and down the hospital corridor, biting her nails, worrying, because that's what her nature was like. Raman stood in a corner, seething with anger and disgust, because that's what his nature was like.

Shagun was in the ER because she fainted after repeatedly slapping Ashok and bitching at Mihika and because of all the wedding festivities and stress. Ishita and Raman had rushed her to the hospital and were waiting for the results.

Raman, honestly, couldn't give less of a damn, because he knew what this woman was made of. Dishonesty, overconfidence, and treachery. But Ishita, for some god-forsaken reason, didn't understand that. Or maybe she did, and chose to ignore it.

Ishita on the other hand, did give a damn. She gave a damn because Shagun was Mihika's to-be (a very shaky to-be, that was) sister-in-law, Shagun was Mihir's sister, Shagun was Ruhi's biological mother, and above all, Shagun was a woman. Even after everything she had done, and everything she had said, Ishita still believed there was goodness hidden somewhere deep in Shagun. Otherwise, why would she have asked for forgiveness at Adi's mistake? But more than that, Ishita felt for Shagun, because being cheated on was not something that a woman could bear without breaking. Ishita was big on woman empowerment, and what had happened to Shagun was something she was going to support her through, even if Shagun didn't want her support.

The doctor came out to tell them that Shagun was perfectly fine, and she had fainted due to stress and fatigue. He told them to take care of her (to which Raman had openly scoffed, much to Ishita's disdain) and to monitor what she ate so that she had enough energy. Ishita had nodded at everything the doctor had said, and then immediately called Mihir up (who was currently taking care of a drugged Mihika at his house) and told him what the doctor had said. Mihir solemly listened to everything Ishita said and then hung up the phone. Mihika was more important than Shagun right now. He wondered why Ishita chose to mother Shagun rather than Mihika, who was her sister.

Ishita didn't choose Shagun over Mihika though. Ishita knew that Mihika was in able hands when Mihir had suggested taking her to his house and having her sleep through the haze, so that her aunt and uncle wouldn't have to see her like this. Ishita knew that Mihika would be more than fine with Mihir, and that Mihir wouldn't have a spare second to give to Shagun, so she took on the least wanted responsibility. Taking care of her husband's ex-wife.

----Author's Note: Should I continue?

Edited by desikalakaar - 10 years ago

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Rianshi

@Rianshi

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

Nice start.. plz continue soon..!!

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N.R.Rona

@N.R.Rona

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

Pls continue ..its nice..pls pm mee..

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smrithy

@DiVAnCRazyFAn

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

plsss conntinue... PM me if possible... thx

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yashasvi barfa

@.Yashu

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

plz do continue and pm me plz

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swathin

@swathin

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

Do continue
N if possible pm me

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desikalakaar

@desikalakaar

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Thank you for the love! Since I was on a writing spree (and I had ideas in my head, which has been so rare lately), I penned down the second installment of this story.

Regarding PMs: I won't be able to do them, because a) they are extremely time-consuming, and b) I have a lot of buddies from the DIll Mill Gayye and IPKKND forums, and I'm not sure if they would appreciate getting updates from a different forum. Forgive me!

I will be regularly updating the title, so you can track progress!

Without much further ado, here goes. (deep breath)

Edited by desikalakaar - 10 years ago

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desikalakaar

@desikalakaar

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

Parchaiyaan

Shagun woke up with a throbbing in her head. After thinking profusely about what had transpired, she finally remembered what had happened. Ashok's betrayal. After shedding a few tears, she erupted into nervous giggles. It was karma. It had to be. Don't they always say "what goes around comes around?" Well, they were right. Shagun betrayed Raman for Ashok, and now Ashok had gone and betrayed Shagun for Mihika. Deep down inside, Shagun knew that Ashok was up to no good, but she suppressed the feeling. Six years was a lot of time to give to a person, to a relationship. Hell, she had given Raman 6 years of her life, and he had just only recently gotten over it. How was she going to get over 6 years of loving and living with Ashok? There was only one answer--she couldn't. She wasn't going to get over the standard of life Ashok had given her. She wasn't going to get over the euphoria she had whenever she saw him. She wasn't going to get over the anger she felt when she saw him with another woman. She wasn't going to get over the grief she felt when she realized that the other woman was Mihika.

After walking herself through some options of how to live her life (such as going to a woman's home or moving to her mother's house), Shagun finally remembered something that should have been on her mind first and foremost. Aditya. As a mother, she always felt like she was doing her duty by giving her son the luxuries of life, something she knew his father couldn't have given him when they were together. She was securing his future by getting Ashok to sign on bonds and fixed deposits. She was making sure her son was going to have a bright future with financial security. But what she wasn't making sure of was her son's mental and emotional stability. With so many complicated relationships (Raman papa, Ashok dad, Shagun mom, and that Ishita), Shagun never even thought that an 11 year old boy could be in turmoil. And now she was livid. How could she have done this? How could she have neglected her son that she fought her ex-husband for? But she did, and there was nothing she could do about it but repent. Repent about her failure as a mother, and her failure as a woman.

Ishita knocked on the door to Shagun's room, and let herself in when she heard no response. Shagun was curled up in a ball, visibly shaking. Ishita walked over to her and tapped her on her shoulder, trying to gauge the situation. Shagun flinched at contact, and looked up to see who it was. When she realized it was Ishita, she was livid all over again. She saw red. It was the sister of the woman who ruined her life. She pushed Ishita's hand away and looked the other way. Ishita tried to say something, but knowing that nothing would go through Shagun's thick skull at this moment in time, she left, but not before telling Shagun to pack her things. Ishita and Raman were going to drop Shagun to her brother's house. But, of course, there was no response.

Author's note: As you can see, this was mostly a Shagun part. Let's see what happens next!

Edited by desikalakaar - 10 years ago