A Trail of Breadcrumbs through Reflections - Page 6

Originally posted by: redwine1

HAI BHAGGU .. i asked u to be gentle ..😕

Disclaimer .. my past discussions on this forum make me write this here ... this is discussion sake only & this is my POV .. it need not be anyone else pov on this forum 😛

By chiding over his mother ... or by saying I "SPOKE" to my brother did he actually take ISHITA's side ... wasn't that the action of a person taking the route of AVOIDING AN ISSUE ..

Where was the stance taken ..

Now at the risk of being beaten black & blue on this forum .. lets look at what we know of the past .. Shagun fell in love with Ashok .. for whatever reasons material et all ... she left her husband legally & went to make a new life with another man .. she took a son & left a daughter behind .. ( if they had gone to the courts the courts would've also divided the issues between the 2 parents) ... Where is the CRIME in this .. Yes its MORALLY WRONG ...

Hahaha 😉😆 ... lemme tell another thing about me .., am the daughter of a Professor and a Lawyer ... my husband calls me a Genetic Mutation when it comes to debating ...No points for guessing who wins all the fights at home 😈

So, here are my two cents on your thoughts.

As always, this is my POV and it is OK if anyone else thinks otherwise.

Now that you have compelled me ... let me dig a little deeper ... let us begin with the basics ... in both the cases we are talking about one important tradition ... the sanctity of marriage ... what is marriage ? A quick wiki will give you the following definition

Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.^[1] The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.

In The History of Human Marriage (1922), Edvard Westermarck defined marriage as "a more or less durable connection between male and female lasting beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of the offspring."^[9] In The Future of Marriage in Western Civilization (1936), he rejected his earlier definition, instead provisionally defining marriage as "a relation of one or more men to one or more women that is recognized by custom or law".^[10]

In simpler terms, it is a formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.

Now, let me take the next step and apply the same definition to Raman and Shagun. Raman and Shagun followed the definition of marriage for quite some time. However, in due time, Shagun felt incomplete in her marriage due to various factors and she wanted to move out of this marriage. Basically, it was more of a bondage to her than anything else. So, she chose the best way possible and chose Ashok over Raman and moved out.

Now, here comes the problem. When she got married to Raman, she was only the wife of Raman Bhalla, however, six years down the line, she was not only the wife of Raman, she was also the mother of Adi and Ruhi, two children who were innocent souls ignorant to any kind of problems between their parents.

Believe me, I support her decision of moving out with Ashok. She was not happy in a marriage so there was no point sticking to it. It would have caused damage to both the sides sooner or later. However, her treatment of her kids, particularly a six month old girl was irresponsible. Ruby, a six month old baby cannot crawl, needs constant attention, feeding, care ... even if I keep aside love. She chose to ignore everything because it was not convenient and if she did all that, she would never be able to devote her time to Ashok.

Let us go towards Adi. True, she is attached to Adi and shown her motherly affection from time to time but it is more of a financial support than anything else. She put him in a hostel, took visitation rights of his father from him, made him bitter towards his father, raised a kid who did not think twice before almost killing someone on the road and still bragged out everything. She is everything which a mother should not be.

Read my lines in the previous post. I said while it is ok for the husband wife to divorce, a mother father cannot. Bringing a much hyped recent example of Hrithik and Suzanne ... kudos to the couple, these guys have had a divorce recently, but both of them have maintained in a dignified manner that they want the best for their children. Hats off to them. They can have the bitterest of problems between them but it is between husband and wife not between the parents of their kids.

That is what makes Shagun a criminal. The reverse side of the coin is definitely Raman. He also abandoned her daughter and I abhor that behaviour equally. Ruhi suffered at the hands of the parents ... not only by the mother. Remember the famous convo at the stairs of Akash Ganga society where Ruhi innocently breaks down in front of Raman and asks him not to marry Ishita because she is scared who will love her after that ... she feels left out by both the parents ... it is a crime ... but definitely the bigger criminal for me in this is Shagun.

Coming down to Bala and Subbu.

Bala. A person who had to make a difficult choice between his brother and sister in law and as per you, he chose the easy way. For a minute, let me agree to what you want to say and let us assume, he broke all his relationship with his mother and Subbu. Now what.

Let us imagine the future six years down the line. Bala Vandu .. can they be called the normal couple anymore ? This will definitely break all his relationship from his side and definitely he will be ostracized from his own family. Couple of questions? Will Sharvu still get the best of both the worlds like he is getting now? Bala's mother, a true creep and shrewd lady still loves her grandchild a lot, wont Shravu miss that? He has only one sibling .. abandoning him will in turn abandon him from all the relationships of his father's side altogether.

And the last one question and the most important one. If Bala had forgone all his relationships, how would it have affected Ishita who is already suffering the guilt of being a half woman along with constant rejection that because of her sister's family was broken beyond repair and her own brother in law now stands all alone?

And that too because, Subbu committed a cowardly act. Yup. Go back to the definition of marriage. A major part of it is producing the off spring and it was not ok with him to look for an alternative. I agree he could have looked for a logic, for some medical advices, but he did not .. and that is what makes him a coward ... not a criminal.

So, in my view, Bala did the right thing by chiding his mother or doing a balancing act between his brother and his sister in law.

Coming down to the last leg of your comment ... Bala is nowhere an insecure individual. He is a normal human being with normal problems.

The best part of this couple is communication. Refer to one of my favourite communication about the pregnancy insecurity of Vandu and of course later Bala's insecurity about Mihika's marriage and insecurity. In both the cases, whenever one of them was in a doubt, he/she decided to share it with the partner and the partner provided immediate solace. So, Bala for me in not at all insecure.

@aani,

I agree that raman thinks of bala better than him and tries to prove him as perfect husband the way bala is. but I doubt that raman sees glimpse of subbu in bala man who ishita loved. I can't relate to that scenario

yes I can relate that he wants to become perfect for her but he also wants to rely and he is too finding shelter for him to share his life and weakness . because of he felt his failure when he lost shagun, he does not want let to happen anymore. I defo agree especially after ashok taunted him in that ep.

But but again he has claimed his possessiveness openly. I don't think ishita gets mixed signals. she is very clear about his possessiveness

@oshu, you pointed out for shagun , I want to point out for subbu.

you see the current status of subbu. he is still with his wife with whole honesty. he just wanted their own baby. he din know before about ishita's incapability. he decided immediately after knowing that.
i believe his cowardliness but he din keep her in dark ever. because no one from them thought this situation will come in their lives and I believe this type of discussion would not happen before that incident happen.

Originally posted by: swathibalan

Nicely put Aani. I agree on what you said on Ishita being a layered character and on why Ruhi was brought it. My musings on this -

Whenever I see the way Ishita's character is depicted, I get reminded of the line from Castle
"Too many layers to the Beckett Onion"
She is like an onion with several layers but a core akin to a heart of gold, though probably the rawest, nd layered to hide the hurt.
I felt - in the scene where a drunk Shagun was rattling out how Raman loves her and how he changed when she left him, Ishita's hurt was shown very beautifully. She has her own doubts whether she will ever be loved so -more because of her biological issues - which was shown in the party scene also
Probably that insecurity is not allowing her to open up.

As for Raman, he inadvertently compares his present with the past and steals his own joy

Their problem is an attraction towards each other and not knowing if it will be returned. An insecurity in an actually secure relationship., due to their own past experiences.
Their security is Ruhi - who binds them together - and that's why she came into the scene - where both were vulnerable- to reaffirm the strength
I too am waiting for the much needed talk though not in a hurry as they need to build courage to fall in reciprocated love


Also, yesterday's scene when Ishita was talking about how broken relationships hurt, I felt she was talking about Raman and not about her.

Bhanu, Bang on post!!

This is the reason why i felt shagun is worst case to ruin his life and to make him such a person who hates gender woman. Still Shagun keeps coming in front of him that affects his ego too and he is forced to recall all wounds and ruined lives of his and his kids and still is craving for kid's love. and more over shagun enjoys his pain.

Originally posted by: Loveforlife

Awesome post and Discussions!! If the CV's even ponder on even 1% of the matter written here YHM will be a fabulous serial... I am sure somewhere the CV's meant YHM to be all this..but got jumbled and lost between the drunken treatment to tracks they gave. And as some one said.. It seems like YHM is getting back on track slowly. I sincerely hope the CV's have an end to this story visualised, and work towards that end, unlike other serials that go on and on randomly to die a sudden death or given an end for the heck of it! It is an altogether different game when stories have symbolism and parallels shown..

Superb discussions everyone...

Originally posted by: vidya.anand

Its ISHRA deficiency syndrome...that saree was wasted away...ek cute sa scene toh dikha hi sakthe teh

I can understand delaying confession etc etc but why cant they show some continuity scenes...i mean husband and wife hai toh kuch toh baatein kar hi sakthe hai...

Originally posted by: MERARAI

Shagun is a literally a wild card...y'day after Suraj "blackmailed" her with the article from years ago when her family disowned her, she took a stance to "DO ANYTHING". Everything Shagun does is motivated by selfishness. Wonder what she's got up her sleeve now? She never works with a full deck, so it may not be surprising if Suraj finds trouble at his door to divert his attention from meddling in Ashok/Shagun nuptials...it may yet wipe that smirk off Sunny bro's face.

Will Shagun inadvertently have a hand in Mihir/Mihika marriage taking place esp. if Param plays both sides and hints at Ashok's interest in Mihika?

hmmm , when did he felt that he achieved impossible "the man " tag in his wife s eyes? please enlighten me. Well I have not seen that kind of satisfaction in his eyes by monologues even. he was only keened for her smile and as dues return to what she had done till now for his daughter and his family.t and she got confirmed it when he stopped moving spoon post she took subbu s name. In fact I really liked that convo . this is what we are missing these days. ishita I fell for in beginning is missing now.

Originally posted by: btalwar

Raman and Shagun followed the definition of marriage for quite some time. However, in due time, Shagun felt incomplete in her marriage due to various factors and she wanted to move out of this marriage. Basically, it was more of a bondage to her than anything else. So, she chose the best way possible and chose Ashok over Raman and moved out.

Now, here comes the problem. When she got married to Raman, she was only the wife of Raman Bhalla, however, six years down the line, she was not only the wife of Raman, she was also the mother of Adi and Ruhi, two children who were innocent souls ignorant to any kind of problems between their parents.

Believe me, I support her decision of moving out with Ashok. She was not happy in a marriage so there was no point sticking to it. It would have caused damage to both the sides sooner or later. However, her treatment of her kids, particularly a six month old girl was irresponsible. Ruby, a six month old baby cannot crawl, needs constant attention, feeding, care ... even if I keep aside love. She chose to ignore everything because it was not convenient and if she did all that, she would never be able to devote her time to Ashok.

Let us go towards Adi. True, she is attached to Adi and shown her motherly affection from time to time but it is more of a financial support than anything else. She put him in a hostel, took visitation rights of his father from him, made him bitter towards his father, raised a kid who did not think twice before almost killing someone on the road and still bragged out everything. She is everything which a mother should not be.

Read my lines in the previous post. I said while it is ok for the husband wife to divorce, a mother father cannot. Bringing a much hyped recent example of Hrithik and Suzanne ... kudos to the couple, these guys have had a divorce recently, but both of them have maintained in a dignified manner that they want the best for their children. Hats off to them. They can have the bitterest of problems between them but it is between husband and wife not between the parents of their kids.

That is what makes Shagun a criminal. The reverse side of the coin is definitely Raman. He also abandoned her daughter and I abhor that behaviour equally. Ruhi suffered at the hands of the parents ... not only by the mother. Remember the famous convo at the stairs of Akash Ganga society where Ruhi innocently breaks down in front of Raman and asks him not to marry Ishita because she is scared who will love her after that ... she feels left out by both the parents ... it is a crime ... but definitely the bigger criminal for me in this is Shagun.

Coming down to Bala and Subbu.

Bala. A person who had to make a difficult choice between his brother and sister in law and as per you, he chose the easy way. For a minute, let me agree to what you want to say and let us assume, he broke all his relationship with his mother and Subbu. Now what.

Let us imagine the future six years down the line. Bala Vandu .. can they be called the normal couple anymore ? This will definitely break all his relationship from his side and definitely he will be ostracized from his own family. Couple of questions? Will Sharvu still get the best of both the worlds like he is getting now? Bala's mother, a true creep and shrewd lady still loves her grandchild a lot, wont Shravu miss that? He has only one sibling .. abandoning him will in turn abandon him from all the relationships of his father's side altogether.

And the last one question and the most important one. If Bala had forgone all his relationships, how would it have affected Ishita who is already suffering the guilt of being a half woman along with constant rejection that because of her sister's family was broken beyond repair and her own brother in law now stands all alone?

And that too because, Subbu committed a cowardly act. Yup. Go back to the definition of marriage. A major part of it is producing the off spring and it was not ok with him to look for an alternative. I agree he could have looked for a logic, for some medical advices, but he did not .. and that is what makes him a coward ... not a criminal.

So, in my view, Bala did the right thing by chiding his mother or doing a balancing act between his brother and his sister in law.

Coming down to the last leg of your comment ... Bala is nowhere an insecure individual. He is a normal human being with normal problems.

The best part of this couple is communication. Refer to one of my favourite communication about the pregnancy insecurity of Vandu and of course later Bala's insecurity about Mihika's marriage and insecurity. In both the cases, whenever one of them was in a doubt, he/she decided to share it with the partner and the partner provided immediate solace. So, Bala for me in not at all insecure.