A Trail of Breadcrumbs through Reflections - Page 7

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

Hey Ruby 😊

I love the guy so any reason to talk to him is always a pleasure and I have been missing him these days 😒 and I agree Raman has seen Ishita place Bala on a pedestal, in her mind he is the ideal man

In his mind somehow Bala is the closest thing to Subu Ishita has in her life... somehow he thinks she looks for the younger one in the older one and that is what makes him want to rival Bala, not just because he is the perfect guy in his wife' opinion but because he is the closest stand-in of the guy she wanted for herself.

And hence he wanted to prove to Ishita he can be better than Bala..do things that he does and all only for her... he wants to be the man she deems perfect at least for herself if not perfect in the actual sense of the word.

And somehow while he is competing with the phantom he is also competing with the real thing, and seeing the man he knows Ishita isn't wrong in praising him during the time when she landed in jail he wanted to be there for her but was visibly hurt seeing Bala, it was only when she said she tried calling him and he was unreachable did he calm down but he doesn't want that to happen again ever, he wants to be the only one Ishita leans on for support.

In his mind and heart he has become very possessive about Ishita and wants her to do the same but since he cant show his feelings openly she is confused about where he stands.

Also in the past he lost a wife to another man because she thought he fell short on her expectations which were monetary and selfish... and he knows Ishita is no Shagun so she wouldn't leave him but...BUT he cannot stand that she can be closer to another man because he can provide her the emotional comfort she seeks and hence wants to become her numero uno. He wants her to know she can rely on him, he wants to be her safety net and her first line of defence.

I love how you have drawn a contrast between Mihir and Ishita and yep it stands so true in her sense of righteousness she is her own Mihir

Originally posted by: redwine1

This is true talent Aani .. u said all i wanted to say in these lines ...

he lost a wife due to being inadequate in his mind .. he could not provide for her .. he was NOT THE FIRST PERSON in her MIND ..

His second wife .. ALSO THINKS ANOTHER MAN IS PERFECT HUSBAND MATERIAL ..

hence he goes out of his way to be THE MAN in her life ..

Thank u .. these days so few people are getting my posts .. that i wonder what am i writing ..

Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

Hahaha 😉😆 ... lemme tell another thing about me .., am the daughter of a Professor and a Lawyer ... my husband calls me a Genetic Mutation when it comes to debating ...No points for guessing who wins all the fights at home 😈

So, here are my two cents on your thoughts.

As always, this is my POV and it is OK if anyone else thinks otherwise.

Now that you have compelled me ... let me dig a little deeper ... let us begin with the basics ... in both the cases we are talking about one important tradition ... the sanctity of marriage ... what is marriage ? A quick wiki will give you the following definition

Marriage (also called matrimony or wedlock) is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws.^[1] The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.

In The History of Human Marriage (1922), Edvard Westermarck defined marriage as "a more or less durable connection between male and female lasting beyond the mere act of propagation till after the birth of the offspring."^[9] In The Future of Marriage in Western Civilization (1936), he rejected his earlier definition, instead provisionally defining marriage as "a relation of one or more men to one or more women that is recognized by custom or law".^[10]

In simpler terms, it is a formal union of a man and a woman, typically as recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife.

Now, here comes the problem. When she got married to Raman, she was only the wife of Raman Bhalla, however, six years down the line, she was not only the wife of Raman, she was also the mother of Adi and Ruhi, two children who were innocent souls ignorant to any kind of problems between their parents.

Believe me, I support her decision of moving out with Ashok. She was not happy in a marriage so there was no point sticking to it. It would have caused damage to both the sides sooner or later. However, her treatment of her kids, particularly a six month old girl was irresponsible. Ruby, a six month old baby cannot crawl, needs constant attention, feeding, care ... even if I keep aside love. She chose to ignore everything because it was not convenient and if she did all that, she would never be able to devote her time to Ashok.

Let us go towards Adi. True, she is attached to Adi and shown her motherly affection from time to time but it is more of a financial support than anything else. She put him in a hostel, took visitation rights of his father from him, made him bitter towards his father, raised a kid who did not think twice before almost killing someone on the road and still bragged out everything. She is everything which a mother should not be.

Read my lines in the previous post. I said while it is ok for the husband wife to divorce, a mother father cannot. Bringing a much hyped recent example of Hrithik and Suzanne ... kudos to the couple, these guys have had a divorce recently, but both of them have maintained in a dignified manner that they want the best for their children. Hats off to them. They can have the bitterest of problems between them but it is between husband and wife not between the parents of their kids.

That is what makes Shagun a criminal. The reverse side of the coin is definitely Raman. He also abandoned her daughter and I abhor that behaviour equally. Ruhi suffered at the hands of the parents ... not only by the mother. Remember the famous convo at the stairs of Akash Ganga society where Ruhi innocently breaks down in front of Raman and asks him not to marry Ishita because she is scared who will love her after that ... she feels left out by both the parents ... it is a crime ... but definitely the bigger criminal for me in this is Shagun.

Coming down to Bala and Subbu.

Bala. A person who had to make a difficult choice between his brother and sister in law and as per you, he chose the easy way. For a minute, let me agree to what you want to say and let us assume, he broke all his relationship with his mother and Subbu. Now what.

Let us imagine the future six years down the line. Bala Vandu .. can they be called the normal couple anymore ? This will definitely break all his relationship from his side and definitely he will be ostracized from his own family. Couple of questions? Will Sharvu still get the best of both the worlds like he is getting now? Bala's mother, a true creep and shrewd lady still loves her grandchild a lot, wont Shravu miss that? He has only one sibling .. abandoning him will in turn abandon him from all the relationships of his father's side altogether.

And the last one question and the most important one. If Bala had forgone all his relationships, how would it have affected Ishita who is already suffering the guilt of being a half woman along with constant rejection that because of her sister's family was broken beyond repair and her own brother in law now stands all alone?

And that too because, Subbu committed a cowardly act. Yup. Go back to the definition of marriage. A major part of it is producing the off spring and it was not ok with him to look for an alternative. I agree he could have looked for a logic, for some medical advices, but he did not .. and that is what makes him a coward ... not a criminal.

So, in my view, Bala did the right thing by chiding his mother or doing a balancing act between his brother and his sister in law.

Coming down to the last leg of your comment ... Bala is nowhere an insecure individual. He is a normal human being with normal problems.

The best part of this couple is communication. Refer to one of my favourite communication about the pregnancy insecurity of Vandu and of course later Bala's insecurity about Mihika's marriage and insecurity. In both the cases, whenever one of them was in a doubt, he/she decided to share it with the partner and the partner provided immediate solace. So, Bala for me in not at all insecure.

Originally posted by: Oishi_sonu

Ruby, I did not misunderstand you on Shagun one, just elaborating her faults and the offense part wasn't for you alone, it was for everyone in general. Since saying anything on Shagun is treading into dangerous territories and the forum is a battle ground right now. 😆

Originally posted by: redwine1

<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" size="3" color="#0000ff">yaar i am in a bigger quandary .. if i do a post on Ishita someone rams me on RAMAN .. if i do a post on Raman someone rams me on ISHITA ..😡😡</font>

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

😆 no issues anyways I always wanted him to see her in the robe more than the saree 😉😆

Originally posted by: Oishi_sonu

🤣 I know 😆
That's why I have chosen to only visit proper discussion thread of only you, Bhanu and Aani. 😆 Otherwise you don't know what you would say and what people would think. With you guys things are easier to explain. 😆

Originally posted by: vidya.anand

He has taken back the robe. 😆

BTW, i dont have an issue in seeing that scene either..😆😉

I mentioned about the saree because it was the first saree that he gifted her and that too of her choice. So it was meant to be special. KC fast wasnt given the importance that it deserved. Atleast the first time she wears that saree, he should have noticed and said something, false taunt hi sahi!

but it went totally unnoticed

I know, in real life, its not needed that a husband notices his wife's attire but then in a serial such scenes do add the much required flavor. Moreover, Raman was already shown as getting impressed by the way she dresses. But off late even that has been deficient.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

plus we dont bash 😉😆 we bore a person to death by our long posts 🤣