Ravan Vs. Ram(an)

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iheartChai

@iheartChai

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Thank you for posting this. I totally agree with everything you said. It is easy for us to judge because we are the third party in all of this. We see Ishita's trust, we see Raman being confused and letting his emotions take over and fall into the trap, and we see Shagun's real attentions.

I know Shagun is one of the main protagonists in the show but I think some people forget at one point in time Shagun was married to Raman. They have a relationship. At one point in time Shagun had at least some feeling for Raman to have 2 children with him. What we are seeing now is the broken destructive relationship that Shagun and Raman share. We all know Shagun is poison and Raman knows it too but the thing is they had a relationship and they still do. Even if it is through the children now and the love is no longer there. Their relationship is now filled with hate, anger, control, jealousy, and these stupid games of finding a way to destroy the other person.

I like YHM because the characters are human. They do right, they do wrong, they regret, they feel guilt, they can be hypocritical, etc. The writing and direction have been fantastic everything is treated with that right touch to show the humanity and make the characters feel real. These are people that could be your neighbor, friend, or family member.

I am not sure if I wrote anything that made sense.

All I can say is Ishita is that breath of fresh air...she is the only one that can come in and break this cycle/disfunctional relationship that Raman, Shagun, and Ashok have gotten themselves in.

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Reina

@Reina1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: shifajoomun
Yea ! Ur right somehow ! We r all human beings afterall and all these r bound to happen : the ups n downs of life; the good n bad decision we take. Its not as if Raman doesnt care for Ishita, he does care for her, a lot. But being in this frustration n depressive mood is sending him in a pool of confusion.
Yes favouritism does exist in family and no one can change that : i have witnessed it ! There will always be that one child which ur parent will be more caring n loving. But in our situation the saddess part is.. Ruhi.. Since her birth she had to endure the lack of a father's affection, until Ishima came to her life, no, ishima came to their life and changes everything. With Ishita, Raman has started to live a stable life, Ishita was the light in that dark room.

Yes, we have to give Raman the benefit of the doubt : he has successfully proved to be a kind person recently. But kind doesnt mean perfect.

However i still hold the view that Ishita must stop behaving like a wife (for a brief moment) and act only as Ruhi's mum, to touch Raman.

Thank you. I do agree it is unfair for Ruhi to be put through that, but she is used to her father being bitter to her, if she has managed to come out of her shell, its because of Ishita who will be at her side like a rock always. So if Adi has Raman Ruhi has Ishita. Anyone on an upward climb goes through what Raman is going through. He is wayward and troubled, but he is not a bad person, and he is trying. He even said that he knew his wife wouldn't take it badly.

I do agree though, Ishita needs to be a little cold towards him, he needs to realize what he has done, and that he has hurt someone who actually cares about him.

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Reina

@Reina1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: sai14
Reina, thank you for writing this. it is a much needed post and you have expressed it very beautifully.
Raman can never make people happy. He is the most misunderstood guy. I almost feel as if one likes to see him happy but the moment he falters or becomes a human he becomes raavan kumar. Raman is a human being that has been through ups and downs in life and the past that he has went through- no one deserves to go through that. It is nice to see him throw one-liners and show attitude but he is a human being. He is not perfect and never claims to be perfect so I don't understand why he is bashed for being a human being. A hero does not mean he has to be perfect. I think that is why i relate to Raman so much because he is not perfect. He is your everyday father, husband, boyfriend, son and that is what makes his character appealable to me.

I have a slightly different view about Ruhi and Raman. I don't think he takes her for granted. He does know the value of her but that poor child gets caught in the middle of things. Like today Raman did not yell at her because she was being bad but he yelled at her because he was displacing his anger and then soon enough he realized it. Other than that like you said he is a human being that makes bad decisions from time to time and we all have done that because we are human. I don't agree with few of the things he has done in the past few days but I attribute that to him being human. I wanna be there to hug him cheer him and tell him everything will be ok rather than tell him he is a pathetic and horrible. You can't turn from being the caring husband to horrible husband over night and he never will.

I think another thing as a viewer we get to see all sides of the story. We know Shagun plotted this but does Raman know that? He is not in a state to know that so we can't judge him based on what we know when he is not aware of that.

We are all human, and we make our mistakes then suffer the consequences, we are selfish, we hurt people, we love irrationally and make bad decisions. That is what life is right

you have said it all with this line. I hope people stop placing their unattainable expectations on him and judge him based on that as he is human. he is not a supergod and just like any of us he is bound to make mistakes and he will regain from it.

Thank you! I suppose you'[re right, but the point is that he didn't fully come to value her till he thought he was going to lose her in the custody case. He loved her no doubt, but it was never fully realized until it was almost lost. That is the case with Adi too;. He beats himself up over it, because he blames himself for what Adi is today and he is helpless, which explains his affinity to the brat. Theirs is a complex relation that is the crux of this show. It's not just the mohabbatein of Raman - Ishita, but also of a parent and child, and what that unconditional love can make a person do.

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Reina

@Reina1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: srkcc
Nice post 😊
I would agree that everyone makes mistakes but I have also come across people like Ishita who are really selfless and put their loved ones before themselves . Maybe that's why I relate to her. She makes choices in situations to do the right thing. When the time comes to stand up for herself she does. She is a calm person but has got a lot of inner strength. She hasn't become bitter because of her experiences and sees the glass half full. She is a positive person and dies not fun away from her problems. She faces them full on. For example Raman got scared to get the DNA test she just did it! In the latest situation she will face the issue full on making the right choices but it seems Raman will face the problem but by making choices that maybe Ishita would not make.

That doesn't make him bad and her good. Just two different people with two different personalities and ways of going things. Just humans as you say...

Thank you!! You know, my mom is exactly like Ishita, in fact even more altruistic. But I think even enduring in itself is a fault. My mother will always stand for the right, she will always support what she feels is morally correct, and she will always stand by the truth. Raman reminds me of my dad (and even myself sometimes). I personally relate to him more, because I have been through situations that have made me cynical, impulsive and ill-tempered. But I had my mother to pull me out of it. With my dad however, she always forgave his mistakes, never made him fully realize what he was doing to his kids. Just like today, she stood up for Ruhi, after she left. That isn't how it works. You stand up when she is there, to tell her no you didn't do anything wrong. Endurance in itself is a flaw and can hurt people.

But Ishita is still miles miles more mature than Raman, and I will give it to her. But my analysis of Raman is nothing to take away from Ishita. She is real, she does exist not as often, but we see her. I haven't had an opportunity to fully critique her personality, because so far she has been quite righteous in most cases.

As you said, both of them are different people, and they balance each other out. Problem is when Raman has dealt with a Shagun his whole life, he doesn't know how to deal with a lovely Ishita, and Ishu who has never seen a man as complex as Raman, gets hurt. But they will both learn!!

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pomegranate

@pomegranate

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

the guilt of hiding this from ishita is eating him up on the inside, to the point where he can't even meet her eyes. Raman's guilt and desperation has been portrayed well by karan patel and you know what? he deserves that guilt. whatever the reason may be, he messed up and raman needs to face the repercussions of that. This is why I hope ishita does not let him off the hook easily, she needs to show him that he has hurt her.

sometimes even I think ishita is too nice, but she never came across as "mahaan," or like the typical balaji heroine. there is a quiet strength in her that I admire very much-and raman does as well. divyanka portrays her with so much grace, integrity and dignity, she could have come across as annoying if it were any other actress. only hope that writers fully explore her back story and really opens her layer by layer.

Edited by pomegranate - 11 years ago

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jay_bpm

@jay_bpm

Stunner

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Sure it's human to make mistakes and also get extremely vulnerable when it comes to family. I doubt anyone would question Raman's turmoil. Yes it is valid for him to feel so much confused and get so weak. The son he's trying to appease makes such appeal he is bound to think bit selfishly.

But then how many times is Raman going to make same mistake? This isn't 1st time he has done something HE KNOWS is WRONG. All for his son, really?

It's his behavior that everyone finds unappealing. Behaving so rude with Ruhi, hurting his own family members over and over. He didn't need much time to throw his own brother, sister in harsh situation for what is right. Didn't his parents plead him at the time? Now when matter is his son's mother so sure he needs time to digest it all. But he's not only thinking, he has started to help Shagun already. It's all for his son. Well tomorrow for Adi will he kill a poor man?

For how many times can he repeat same old thing for Adi do this, do that. Sure he feels guilty and accepts in his mind he is doing wrong. But so what if he accepts? How many times can he continue making same mistakes slowly increasing in magnitude? And simply saying sorry later or hugging your kid doesn't cut it.

No idea what CVs plan, but would like to see at least this time Raman gets reality check, He needs to be shown his place, Adi too needs to be shown his place by Ishita for such nonsense.

We all would like to see Raman rectify whole thing on his own and not have his wife come save him ALL THE TIME, but who knows. I always have remote in my control 😆

Edited by jay_bpm - 11 years ago

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Tanni

@DivianTanz_Divz

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: jay_bpm
Sure it's human to make mistakes and also get extremely vulnerable when it comes to family. I doubt anyone would question Raman's turmoil. Yes it is valid for him to feel so much confused and get so weak. The son he's trying to appease makes such appeal he is bound to think bit selfishly.

But then how many times is Raman going to make same mistake? This isn't 1st time he has done something HE KNOWS is WRONG. All for his son, really?

It's his behavior that everyone finds unappealing. Behaving so rude with Ruhi, hurting his own family members over and over. He didn't need much time to throw his own brother, sister in harsh situation for what is right. Didn't his parents plead him at the time? Now when matter is his son's mother so sure he needs time to digest it all. But he's not only thinking, he has started to help Shagun already. It's all for his son. Well tomorrow for Adi will he kill a poor man?

For how many times can he repeat same old thing for Adi do this, do that. Sure he feels guilty and accepts in his mind he is doing wrong. But so what if he accepts? How many times can he continue making same mistakes slowly increasing in magnitude? And simply saying sorry later or hugging your kid doesn't cut it.

No idea what CVs plan, but would like to see at least this time Raman gets reality check, He needs to be shown his place, Adi too needs to be shown his place by Ishita for such nonsense.

We all would like to see Raman rectify whole thing on his own and not have his wife come save him ALL THE TIME, but who knows. I always have remote in my control 😆

Very well said👏.

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Reina

@Reina1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: DivAniTanni
Lovely post and agree.
But preferring boy child, it's a wrong message to the society esp. when this though has been vanished from many people around the world. It's a real show. Raman as a real character, shouldn't he be a bit open minded? He is educated and a CEO. His actions regarding Adi makes me think whether he really is educated in a true sense. Did he get degrees just to earn money, not to purify his mind? I sometimes feel he prefers Adi as he is a boy child, not he is the first born.
And, everytime we try to defend Raman saying he is a real man, he does mistakes, he covers for his mistakes etc. But, how many time did we go through the pain of Ishita because of him? I guess only 20% of the times may be. And, we defend Raman 100% times. Why we are discriminating? Cos, he is hero and a male and Ishita is a female??? I always found this weird. Everyone mentions yup Ishita might be hurt, but very few can see that she is hurt. Raman's continuous mistakes make her hurt. There are women like her who accepts manythings around her because of their thinking uniqueness. But, does it mean torture them mentally everytime as they will not create a scene? If being good means being tortured, then I won't be this good with my husband or his family. Cos, this man powered world find women's goodness as her weakness. People learn from mistakes, at least sensible, matured, educated people. But, Raman acts exactly contrary to that. He never learns from mistakes. He just finds that he has done mistake and he has to cover it. But, he never realized that he shouldn't do any such mistake again. What are the CVs trying to teach us with this thought???? I am not fedup of Raman's character. He is a sweet one, infact my favourite hero of all time. But, defending him everytime for all his grave mistakes is like giving him another chance to do mistakes.

First of all thank you, and I completely see where you are coming from. He does tend to make most of his mistakes where Adi is concerned, and this hurts Ishita. For this I hope Ishita knocks some sense into him, and makes him realize fully what he has done. He has broken his promise and her trust, which are two difficult things to get from a woman of Ishita's nature. Ishita has never made a grave mistake that calls from criticism, therefore, I have never had to defend her. She is always right. If a woman (in my pov) endures to the point where she is being tortured, then in that case her goodness in itself is a flaw. Because being passive when your self-respect is at stake, for me is also a mistake. But Ishita is not like that, she is strong-willed and will stand up for herself. She has before, and will, I am sure. She is a strong self-sufficient woman, and those ladies are often born from their own ashes. They think things through, and have a fiery resolve, which is why we don't see Ishita making as many stupid mistakes.

Raman as I said makes mistakes only where Adi is concerned. He does not blow his top off for everything like he used to before. Neither does he resolve to drinking and misbehaving. It is rare that we see him displace his anger at Ruhi, and when he did so today it was the whole 'adi bhaiyya ki kar' that sparked it (not an excuse, just a trigger). He is more respectful with everyone, and was actually making a conscious effort to change before this drama. So he is trying, he has setbacks, and I am not defending him, but I hope Ishita deals with him differently now so he fully realizes what he has done. He is always pampered, even today Toshiji was all worried as opposed to being mad at him for yelling at the poor girl. Ishita needs to fix this ASAP.

I don't agree with you that his preference to Adi is because he is a boy. I think if the roles were reversed and It was Ruhi who was his first-born that hated him, he would be just as desperate. I hope the CVs emphasize on that, because it does send a mixed message. It doesn't matter if a kid is a boy or a girl, they have the same potential for love and greatness. But I personally think, its just the case of wanting what you cannot have more that that which you have.

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Reina

@Reina1

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Posted: 11 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: jay_bpm
Sure it's human to make mistakes and also get extremely vulnerable when it comes to family. I doubt anyone would question Raman's turmoil. Yes it is valid for him to feel so much confused and get so weak. The son he's trying to appease makes such appeal he is bound to think bit selfishly.

But then how many times is Raman going to make same mistake? This isn't 1st time he has done something HE KNOWS is WRONG. All for his son, really?

It's his behavior that everyone finds unappealing. Behaving so rude with Ruhi, hurting his own family members over and over. He didn't need much time to throw his own brother, sister in harsh situation for what is right. Didn't his parents plead him at the time? Now when matter is his son's mother so sure he needs time to digest it all. But he's not only thinking, he has started to help Shagun already. It's all for his son. Well tomorrow for Adi will he kill a poor man?

For how many times can he repeat same old thing for Adi do this, do that. Sure he feels guilty and accepts in his mind he is doing wrong. But so what if he accepts? How many times can he continue making same mistakes slowly increasing in magnitude? And simply saying sorry later or hugging your kid doesn't cut it.

No idea what CVs plan, but would like to see at least this time Raman gets reality check, He needs to be shown his place, Adi too needs to be shown his place by Ishita for such nonsense.

We all would like to see Raman rectify whole thing on his own and not have his wife come save him ALL THE TIME, but who knows. I always have remote in my control 😆

Well said, I agree, the double standards are appalling and he is doing more to harm Adi than help. In his selfishness for Adi to speak a few nice words to him, he has forgotten his morals, and there is no excuse for that. I am also curious as to how this track progresses, and I would very much like to see him have his sense knocked back into him.

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Reina

@Reina1

Navigator

Posted: 11 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: iheartChai
Thank you for posting this. I totally agree with everything you said. It is easy for us to judge because we are the third party in all of this. We see Ishita's trust, we see Raman being confused and letting his emotions take over and fall into the trap, and we see Shagun's real attentions.
I know Shagun is one of the main protagonists in the show but I think some people forget at one point in time Shagun was married to Raman. They have a relationship. At one point in time Shagun had at least some feeling for Raman to have 2 children with him. What we are seeing now is the broken destructive relationship that Shagun and Raman share. We all know Shagun is poison and Raman knows it too but the thing is they had a relationship and they still do. Even if it is through the children now and the love is no longer there. Their relationship is now filled with hate, anger, control, jealousy, and these stupid games of finding a way to destroy the other person.

I like YHM because the characters are human. They do right, they do wrong, they regret, they feel guilt, they can be hypocritical, etc. The writing and direction have been fantastic everything is treated with that right touch to show the humanity and make the characters feel real. These are people that could be your neighbor, friend, or family member.

I am not sure if I wrote anything that made sense.

All I can say is Ishita is that breath of fresh air...she is the only one that can come in and break this cycle/disfunctional relationship that Raman, Shagun, and Ashok have gotten themselves in.

Thank you, and you definitely made sense (but i know the feeling =P). That's the point, people are complicated, they're hypocritical, they're selfish, and all sorts of other things. But as a lot of other members have pointed on this post, I think every mistake needs a saturation point, and he has made enough mistakes with Adi as an excuse, so I really do hope this is the last. But it definitely makes me feel like I am watching a real family with real people. Not some weird OTT track like some shows tend to have, where its a 1/million chance an incident like that would even be seen.

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