The Risk to Blossom - IshRa SS - Final Chapter - Page 14 - Page 9

Originally posted by: ashni0905

super writing...you are a good writer!

Originally posted by: lourel24

nice

Originally posted by: Nikki_Titli

another BANG ON update...The way u hv portrayed evry single feelin of both Raman n Ishita is truly AMAZING...!!! eagerly awaitin to read next update..!!

Originally posted by: simples28

Hi dear..You are so amazing👏👏👏..So beautifully you write👍🏼..I am so overwhelmed by emotions running in my mind right now..🤗..Please continue soon😃..and pls try not to end it..I want more n more n more..Love the way you write❤️

Originally posted by: loveabletwinz

Hiii theree!!! I am sorry that I have caught on to your SS so late in the game, but I am quite excited that I got to read three chapters in succession or the wait to read more would have nearly killed me!! I LOVEEE how you write with so much finesse! Every line that you write seeps with rawness and the perfect amalgamation of emotions!!!

Hi thanks for joining in and no need to apologize, I had been too busy to send pms to anyone so I am glad that you could take the time out to read despite the delay from my end to send pms and thank you so so much for these words of appreciation they mean a lot to me. 😊

Forgive me for making this post super long, but because I just read all three chapters at a go, I HAVE to try and let you know what I thought about them :D So if my take on one chapter seems smaller than the other, it isn't because I liked them any less...I just wouldn't be able to tell you everything that I loved about how you have written this story so far :D

LOL no need to make any apology again for the length of the comment, trust me I am like this as well if I happen to like someone' work a lot I ramble as much as possible which sometimes equals to the length of their chapter 😆 so no problems I know the feeling 😉😆 and as for the commenting about individual chapters that is no problem at all, in fact it allows me to know what you as my readers thought so the pleasure is entirely mine 😃

Chapter 1

I LOVE this take on the Simmi story. I actually think this would have been the perfect culmination to that track and a great start to the formation of an understanding between Raman and Ishita on screen. I wish we had gotten to see Raman go through this kind of a roller coaster of emotions and ponderance on the show with respect to how he has behaved with Ishita so far.

The Idea of Simmi having an extra marital affair had actually fascinated me because 1) this show doesn't shy away from the fact that women too can cheat, 2) it would as you said make Raman go through so many emotions he has buried deep down.. its one thing to acknowledge that this happened to him, but Raman is yet to process and accept the end of his marriage, Simmi' actions would make him involuntarily recollect those things, and in the light of the things in the present - he would end up comparing Ishita and Shagun even without meaning too, which I think is vital for the development of IshRa' relationship. Raman has to move on from not only his past and Shagun but also the mindset all women are the same, only then will he be able to trust and love Ishita.

I can't begin to tell you what my favorite lines are in this first part, but I absolutely LOVED how you ended it!

"Hence in the first words spoken between them in the past eight hours, a far cry from what he had in mind as his end for the day, Raman Bhalla apologizes to his wife with these simple, quietly uttered words.

"Ishita, I am sorry." " -- You might not think much of these last few lines, but I love the tenderness, as well as the gravity of his "sorry"!!!

Thank you so much for analyzing this part so well 😊 - I wanted the end of the first chapter to have an impact - but not in a loud melodramatic way. The in your face kind, it had to be subtle and yet powerful and what could be more powerful than the end of silence between two spouses who are in midst of so much misunderstanding. Sometimes the quiet things in life carry more magnitude than any loud commotion - as is said this is how the world ends with a whimper and not a bang 😳

Hence Raman' apology had to understated yet effective, heartfelt and raw.

Chapter 2

AHHH!!!!! I love it!! You are such a beautiful writer!!! I have fallen in love with how you write about the kind of internal struggle both these characters are going through.

Thanks again so much ☺️ I am kinda a sucker for struggles between characters so I like their confrontations as raw as possible too 😳

Most times, we find ourselves relating to Raman on the show, but I love how you wrote about Ishita's feelings here...her disdain after being treated so poorly by Raman, her feeling of rejection and disappointment are so visible in the way you seam these words together!!!

That is another reason I wanted Ishita to have a major say in this SS. The show is sometimes like a book being narrated in the first person narrative, where Raman is the one who we find our narrator in, I realize the show wants to milk everything its worth and perhaps the writers are trying to hold back Ishita' side of the story her struggles till the time, she and Raman actually start falling in love and understanding each other. They want perhaps the audience to discover her trials along with Raman, but as I am fond of complex characters and situations I wanted to bring out Ishita' side here too, Raman has to realize he hasnt been the only one who was dealt a rough hand by life and fate. Only when he begins to realize he is as much wounded as Ishita can he realize and may be wrap his head around the idea that they can help heal each other. 😳

Some of my favorite lines ---

"It's visible to her now, in Raman' protectiveness towards her, his humility and respect when he speaks to her Appa and Amma. A man raised by brutes, to be one wouldn't have stood up for her parents and her respect when he defended her in front of Subbu' mom, wouldn't have cared if her Amma ate non-veg food by mistake. He wouldn't offer to take the bags from her Appa the moment he spots him carrying something heavy. " - I LOVE THIS!!! Forgive me the lack of adjectives, but I don't know what else to say about these few lines! I am soo grateful for this insight into how Ishita feels about Raman. Such a refresher to see that Ishita can see beyond the carnal front Raman puts up for others.

Ishita has been observing Raman closely ever since they got married, she noticed him prior to their marriage but its only post- marriage she sees a different side of him. She hates his rudeness and guts at times, but she isnt blinded by some hatred and prejudice towards him, if you see in the show as well she is softer now, more sweet towards Raman, Like the recent massage scene, she volunteered to apply the balm on his back but dint hold back to give him a little shove when he wouldnt stop his yammering 😆

"His pain blinds him to everyone and everything else and so he does the only thing he can, he spreads the bitterness overflowing in him, drowning and crushing him, in the hope that may be... Just may be spreading this venom to others might stop its infection and lessen the pain within him. That ridding himself of this baggage and unloading it will lighten his burdens" - Oh the gravity, the heaviness of this burden he is carrying with himself -- You describe it perfectly!! This is one of the reasons I love reading, as compared to watching these characters on screen...I LOVE it when an author as elegant as you can show us what these characters are really going through, why they become the people they do...and when we understand that, we can empathize for them, even for a character as brutal as Raman can be.

To be honest, this came to me while I was writing all by itself, may be it was the fact that I was trying to put myself in Raman' position that I could see why he became the way he is now. He isnt a man who was raised to be this brute, but his circumstances have made him so, being in Raman' head kinda gave way to these words all on their own. He doesnt relish hurting others per se, not the real him, but the constant reminder of being wronged and betrayed has made him harsh and brutal, insensitive to a fault, else he would go mad.

I won't copy and paste those lines here again, but I absolutely LOVED how you wrote about Raman being defeated, and it showing in his stature...his high and mighty demeanor crashing and burning to the ground when he realizes he is in the wrong. I love how you write about Ishita feeling bad about seeing Raman so defeated, and you stay true to her caring, nurturing nature when you say she would do anything to remove that defeated look from his face. And the icing on the cake was Ishita's response!!!

Despite their rocky start, IshRa have begin caring for each other though they aren't aware of it, its mostly subconscious but its a beginning and they are used to seeing each other as this formidable force of nature - so when even one of them is not being normal (for a lack of better word) the other is easily rattled. Like I have mentioned earlier - being at each other' throats and bickering is like their comfort zone 😆 it allows them the perfect medium to annoy each other, be there to irritate the other but also keep themselves at an arm' length.

With people as baggages, both of them are equally scared to begin a new relationship and weary of opening up their hearts, but Raman is the one who is more apprehensive here given the magnitude of his baggage - a failed marriage, a wife who left him for another man, losing his son, image issues - he has his plate full.

And though Ishita isnt without her ordeals namely Subbu and Pratik - she is made of stronger material and knows, her failed relationships weren't her fault. She gave it her everything but they failed. She is at peace because she has accepted them and realized she could have done no more, Raman on the other hand hasnt. He is into making money like crazy now, since he believes money was the only reason Shagun chose Ashok over him and so did Adi.

He hasnt made peace with his past or realized, greed has no end. If not Ashok it could have been another man - someone richer than him and Ashok, and try as he might if money is all that is the basis of a relationship, then its just a disaster waiting to happen.

Her response to Raman was raw, aggressive and unrelenting!! It is the PERFECT comeback to all the accusations/insults/questions thrown at her by Raman! Your dialogue for her was perfect!!!!

this monologue had to be the vent Ishita needed, she might have stayed mum but it doesnt mean she wasnt hurt by those accusations Raman made, she was and is, but how can you express you are hurt to someone who barely considers you... how to make that person see reason behind your silence, your actions. Raman, time and again hurts Ishita, if she is quiet I assume it is because she feels she has no haq of any kind. But the moment she finds herself secured on that front, she will make her pain known in the plainest words possible.

Love the ending where you write about their worries about being good parents for Ruhi...like you write, Raman and Ishita didn't realize what this marriage required of them, even if it was only for Ruhi...they still need to be friends to be good parents! Love how the story is progressing!

For Ishita and Raman Ruhi was the primary reason to marry, so of course they have to realize sooner or later - just marrying for her sake isnt enough, to raise her they have to co-operate, be together, as parents be responsible for their daughter. But how can things ever work if they cant even discuss stuff, talk without any animosity.

Chapter 3

"He can be sure of Ishita loving Subbu wholeheartedly as well, and just because she is infertile he had left her." - Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting these lines in your story. I feel like Ishita's own turmoil and sadness goes unnoticed by Raman on the show, so I am SO glad to see a Raman who acknowledges that Ishita, like Raman, has had a lot of low points in her life.

I have always believed Raman sees through her pain too, but he doesn't allow himself to ponder over it or act on it. His current image and attitude - that act as his armor, they are also like walls - they keep him - the real Raman - locked in as much as keep others out. He doesnt want to feel again. But this event, it allowed a chink in the armor, a brick to fall from the walls - and so in a moment of freedom, the real Raman broke through and acknowledged, that Ishita is as much in pain, as he is. And he cannot ignore that any longer.

"Finally she looks up at him with red rimmed eyes, wiping away her tears. And what he sees in her eyes, on her face stops his words abruptly, she... she looks as if she is in pure hell.. -- Oh no!!! This line right here...I can't imagine that this line did not leave a dent in Raman's armor! That must have felt like a strong punch in his gut...Seee! This is what I mean! You write about emotions so well!!!!

☺️

Yep Raman never realized in his musings at the time, she isn't leaving him, rather she feels deserted by the look on her face - and someone who has been there, he knows what that feels like and to be on the other side of that now - to be the one who caused someone to feel that pain - it kills and shames him.

Ishita, she is beautiful inside and out - he, he can tell that without a doubt --- Okay, I know this is supposed to be a very small detail here...But i love the little hesitation in this line, this reassurance that Raman has to give himself, that his wife IS beautiful inside and out!

For a relationship - particularly marriage , attraction is an important factor. This statement ... it had to reveal some part of Raman has noticed Ishita... and understood her beauty isnt shallow and fake and only skin deep - it transcends to her heart and soul as well - a marriage can begin with physical attraction but it can last only when two hearts and souls find that undeniable attraction and love - the kind where they find themselves complete with the other person. 😳

I LOVEEE the dialogues you wrote for Ishita as she describes her relationship to Ruhi, and especially when she talks about Ruhi calling her mumma for the first time...the euphoria, the incomparable happiness...you write about it perfectly!

For someone who lost faith in love not only because he was cheated on, but because he felt that even the purest form of love - that of a mother for her child - could be worthless and useless- this scene it had to jar him. In our society, too much emphasis is placed on maternal love and too many cliches exist on step-mothers - but the fact remains - a woman may become a mother biologically but it need to manifest into her having the feelings of one and a woman even infertile, if a step-mother need not be a monster.She can be as loving as a real mother. After all you love with your heart - the womb has no power over it.

The end of this chapter was absolutely fantastic!!!!! I loveee the contrast you show between Shagun and Ishita...one who has had it with Raman, intent on leaving everything that is associated with him, breaking every vow they made together...and the other, who is promising to stay firm by the promises she made, vouching to stick to this marriage, to rear her child, to stay honest to this relationship. BRAVO BRAVO!!!!!

As a writer somethings just come to you, the last part is basically just wrote itself, I just went with the flow because it felt correct - Raman can make that first step towards progress only when he compares and finds a world of difference in his wives.

You are brilliant!!! Thank you for writing this so beautifully!! I hope it wasn't too much of a hassle to read through this comment... we just couldn't help ourselves.

The pleasure is all mine so no problem at all and thank you again for these kind, appreciative words 😃

P.S -- there are two people on this account, we are twins (Annet and Janet, AnnJan for short) and share this account, and share the exact same opinion on your piece of work :D So consider this comment x2 :D

P.S.S -- what may we call you, besides "Ekpaheli?"

Thanks a lot Annet and Janet, hope I dint bore you :P you can call me Aani, That's like my IF identity though my real name is Neha. 😊

Originally posted by: Metamorphmagus

Wow! Just wow!👏

I really like your story. I specially admire the way you have written all those unsaid feelings Ishita has for Raman, the way she understands him. Looking forward to reading further.

Originally posted by: EkPaheli