GUILT: PART 5 (FINAL)
"Why didn't you tell me before?", Kerim asked her.
" I was scared", She replied hesitantly.
"I was supposed to know what you were thinking", Kerim replied with a grim face.
" Its okay if you didn't. You need to know this", she said.
Hearing this Kerim was lost. Lost in his thoughts, his dreams, his world. He sat with hands on his head brushing his hair back and forth. It was 7 in the evening. The sunset, the approaching darkness tried to engulf him. But before that Fatmagul switched on the light of her room. Kerim looked at her, eyes brimming with varied emotions. The depth was unexplainable. Fatmagul on the contrary seemed to have understood what he thought.
She sat beside him taking his hand in hers. Looking in his eyes for a second she knelt down to kiss the back if his palm. Her lips touched his hand for a moment longer than he had imagined. The touch, the kiss had a solace, an assurance that he would never be rendered alone; that she would always be receptive to his needs and moods. The feeling was overwhelming and Kerim burst into tears: tears of joy, guilt, sorrow and security.
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NEXT DAY
"How are you dear? I see you are tired", Azra smiled at Kerim.
" Am doing good. Thank you", he replied.
He sat staring down on the table before him. A staff brought them tea.
"Thank you", Kerim nodded in gratitude.
Slowly he picked up the sugar cubes and put in the tea cup. Stirring with the spoon his gaze was fixed at the bottom of the tulip shaped container where the cube was reducing in size. Azra watched her visitor keenly.
" What brings you here dear? ", she asked him breaking his concentration.
" I don't know.", he replied holding the spoon in his hand.
"Did anyone force you?", she asked.
" I felt at first. I thought I was being dictated. I felt I was no good. But only Fatmagul had confidence. Only she could convince me without words", Kerim smiled as his eyes were glistening with tears.
"You love her don't you?", Azra asked him.
" I do. I love her from the time I first saw her. A part of me wished to be hers. A part of me wished that I could get a second Chance to meet her. A part of me wished to propose her. A part of me wanted her to be head over heels in love with me just the way I was. I aspired to meet her again. I dreamt endlessly about her, about us, about our kids and about our small home. We did meet. We met two more times. But see the irony. I never wished us this destiny. I planned but I was caught unaware. My desire, my infatuation, my love became a curse for her. Had I not stopped her, had I let her go she wouldn't have gone through so much. More than them I am guilty.", he choked on the last words.
"But everything is fine Kerim"
"It is. Or may be it is not. I am haunted by that night even today."
"You have Fatmagul with you who loves you more than her life. You have a beautiful daughter. Your life is complete if you let go of the past"
"Letting go is tough", Kerim replied.
"It is. But holding on is harder. Look at yourself. Fatmagul could convince you with mere silence because your conscience is fighting with you. Your mind wants to be liberated. Your heart wants to be pure again. The more you think about the past, the more it will haunt you."
"I understand.", Kerim nodded.
" Talk to Fatmagul. Open your heart to her. Maybe things didn't turn out the way you had wished to. But the same applies to Fatmagul. Look at her today. She has outgrown herself. She fought with herself and found herself. If you aren't happy it will make her sad. You did so much for her. You never looked back for her. She is happy today thanks to your love. She wants to do the same for you if you allow her to."
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AT HOME
"See baba has come", Fatmagul tickled Hayat.
Kerim entered their room with a new assurance. Fatmagul smiled at him and he reciprocated the same. He went closer to her and kissed her forehead.
" Thank you", he said looking into her eyes.
She melted at his words. The duo were lost in each other as the toddler clapped.
-------------THE END------------
P.S: Upcoming story (requested by Shanaya 😉)
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