The Forbidden Magic. - Page 15

Ahmed Malik and Umer were enjoying TV, and with it delicious cookies and steaming coffee, when Maheen entered the home, holding a brown paper bag.

"maheen!, welcome home!", Ahmed malik got up to welcome his daughter, "hey dad", she smiled weakly and looked at umer, who was totally aloof of her arrival., how was the day", Ahmed's voice lead her not to shed a tear on umer's cold behavior.

"it was good, we finalized the thesis topic", she said sitting beside umer and his eyes were still glued to the TV screen.

"great!, what is it?"

"The written Art of D.H Lawrence, and I need to finish these three books in two weeks", she smacked the paper bag on the table "awww , beta", he said stroking her hair, "I am sure they will be an interesting read", he smiled and maheen shrugged her shoulders.

"you want coffee or cookies, me and umer baked it together, and they are delicious, right umer"?, Ahmed Malik smiled at umer , "leave it dad, baji's choices are always different from us", His voice was plain and without any emotion, it was sharp as a razor blade and it just cut maheen.

"having different choices isn't an offence", she couldn't help answering, while umer got up from her side, "I agree, but having wrong choices is an offense", he said and munching a cookie, rushed upstairs, leaving maheen with a teary eye.

"it's okay maheen, he is just a kid", Ahmed rubbed his hand over hers' and she took a deep breath, "I am fine dad, but hungry too, what is for lunch?", she smiled and next they both were in kitchen. Although she was quiet but as far as she was stable, Ahmed was happy.

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Later that night, after having lunch and dinner, and then arranging her room and finally after her nighty shower, she snuggled into her bed, holding the paper bag.

After so many days, she finally had something to do, and for a first time in a long period, she was actually thankful to her dad, to force her in the thesis plan.

Deep down she was fed up of that aimless life, where everything she had to do was just to avoid the fire and pain within, but that day, she was glad her dad talked to her, instead she was grateful.

Although she didn't forgive him, but atleast he solved confusions and perplexed questions in her mind.

Taking a deep breath, she took out the three books from the paper bag, and ruffled the bag uselessly, she loved that sound of paper. Yeah , she also could get childish at times. Once she was done with the ruffling, she re-read the titles.

'Sons and Lovers,'

This book a had a brown cover and on the front page was a picture of a woman with her child all wrapped up in her arms, and snuggled close to her chest. Involuntarily maheen could feel her throat getting dry till the deepest end and tears dwelling up in her eyes. The urge to cuddle up near her own mother bloomed in her heart leading to the same frustrated emotion, where she wanted to lose her senses, as the feeling of being alone had started haunting her. She kept on gazing on the cover for a few moments,

"she left because she didn't love me".

Her father's voice echoed in her ears and she placed the book away, with cover upside down. Closing her eyes, she allowed every bit of tears flow out of them and then finally after taking a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes and took out the other book,

"Women in Love",

This book had a normal cover, where bare backs of a man and a woman were shown, with man's arm around the woman's waist. From the cover she could judge that the book was bold, but she wasn't in a mood to read anything OOT at the moment, so she placed this aside also., finally taking out the third book.

"The Rainbow"

She loved the title. The book cover was black, with a girl lying down with her arm over her eyes and darkness all around. Somewhere she could see her own reflection in the girl lying down in the darkness. She had to read this first.

She slowly opened the book, and started the journey of the three generations of the Brangwens, in the Marsh farms.

The innocent love, sexual frustration and the un-conventional bonds ' D.H Lawrence was one hell of a writer!!. She was enjoying every bit of the read and consequently was un-aware that her dad was standing at the door, quietly admiring the busy and sober maheen.

"dad!", she gasped and Ahmed Malik turned his eyes away to hide his tears, "why were u standing at the door like that!, you scared me!!", she said normalizing her breath and Ahmed walked in smiling, "nothing I was just seeing this new side of yours', he sat beside her and ruffled her hair, and maheen, inspite of getting un comfortable, just smiled.

"I brought this warm milk for you", he placed the cup on the side table and went outside, "enjoy your book", he said on the door and then went, closing it.

She took a deep breath and went back to the book, she didn't want to think anything about her father, she was afraid she will forgive him.

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The next two weeks of maheen were with the great D.H Lawrence, she was becoming his fan, with every single line she used to read ahead. All three of his books had made her go speechless at several moments, and made her ponder over life.

"Instead of chopping yourself down to fit the world, chop the world down to fit yourself. " - Women In Love .

She loved this line, even highlighted it and wrote it in her diary, it was just awesome, giving her new hope to live.

"I want us to be together without bothering about ourselves- to be really together because we ARE together, as if it were a phenomenon, not a thing we have to maintain by our own effort."- Women in Love

Her eyes got moist. Why didn't her parents ever tried to stay together, why did they just think about themselves?. She knew none from both ever made an honest effort, if they had, they would have succeeded, surely.

"Why, oh why must one grow up, why must one inherit this heavy, numbing responsibility of living an undiscovered life?

- the Rainbow

What if she could have never grown up, what if she would never understood what does the words hatred and separation mean.

"Sometimes life takes hold of one, carries the body along, accomplishes ones history, and yet is not real, but leaves oneself as it were slurred over."

- Sons and Lovers

May be, may be not. It was planned, what happened with her parents was planned, by destiny, By God , by Life.

"She looked at him, and oh, the weariness to her, of the effort to understand another language, the weariness of hearing him, attending to him, making out who he was, as he stood there fair-bearded and alien, looking at her. She knew something of him, of his eyes. But she could not grasp him. She closed her eyes."

- The Rainbow

And this made her go breathless -ZEEHSAN - HIS EYES.

The way he looked at her, his penetrating eyes, his soft touch, his deep voice.

From the past two weeks, he had drifted away from her thoughts, but he did make his way back. And he made his way back HARD.

And now, when she was walking to his office, after two weeks, with a pride in her gait,s he was feeling a flutter in her heart. She was happy she had completed all her work, she could face him confidently. But hang on, was she happy that she could face him confidently or was she happy that SHE WILL FACE HIM?. *sigh* - she had to accept.

"there is something magnetic about him"

Chap 7 - Pg 28