Life on a Trapeze 03/21 pg:4 - Page 5

Originally posted by: _.serendipity._

Awww, this was so, so beautiful!! The little boy's innocence was so touching. I loved his interpretation of the word 'nomad.' English is such a crazy language. Most of it makes no sense. lol. I really loved this one!! Your writing is brilliant! Your portrayal of the kids seemed so realistic, I was completely mesmerised...andquite disappointed when it ended :)


Thanks so much for the pm :)

Hello 'serendipity' (the sound of the word is as worth the hint of a smile, as its meaning!)

I'm glad you read into little nuances. I said in my note, there wasn't a thought involved in writing this piece, but it seemed to unfold quite of its own accord, and then like a master in control I took the credit for some trivial final finishing (=

Thanks for the comments, they make me quite cheerful!

(S.L.)

Originally posted by: nisha.munim

👏Both stories are amazingly well-written!You should seriously consider writing for a career!! Seriously!!

Ah! That is something I readily like hear, even if fantasizing a truth to come of it is rather far fetched. Thank you for the lovely comment! I'm happy to know you liked them both.

(S.L.)

Amazing story!
I just loved how you described the emotions, that's one thing I can trust you with, and it was so refreshing, so new, Although I had always found clowns frightening, The smile, the eyes, the pale completion, How could someone actually find that funny? Isn't it just some other version of Dracula? But anyway, How they got married was so innocent, I loved every word of it.

You're a fantastic writer!! Loved the story - the boy's confusion, the girl's obstinate, but convincing nature. Very nice!! Can't wait to read more from you!

Originally posted by: 090909as

Amazing story!

I just loved how you described the emotions, that's one thing I can trust you with, and it was so refreshing, so new, Although I had always found clowns frightening, The smile, the eyes, the pale completion, How could someone actually find that funny? Isn't it just some other version of Dracula? But anyway, How they got married was so innocent, I loved every word of it.

Thanks for the trust you place in my writing Hala! Your thought of clowns reminds me of the joker from The Dark Knight - I suppose you're not the only one who can think of the alter side to these entertainers!

Glad you enjoyed the read, and thanks for leaving me the feedback!

(S.L.)

Originally posted by: nanshr

You're a fantastic writer!! Loved the story - the boy's confusion, the girl's obstinate, but convincing nature. Very nice!! Can't wait to read more from you!

Thank you! (=

Its great to find readers who can imagine the characters beyond the words!

(S.L.)

Edit:

I am not sure if it was intentional on your part but I kinda liked the way you shift using the words house and home in their conversation. The boy always calls it as "house" where the girl shifts almost randomly between using "home" and "house".
These were my favorite lines. The innocence of these two kids when they talk about houses, home and family and the plain simplicity of the boy's perception and acceptance of his lifestyle bowled me. Home is wherever the family is, is it not? It doesn't matter to him that they are continuously on the move. He likes the change in scenery.
Tell me this, if he were to know what a "fixed" home was, would he have liked being a nomad?

Shall be back again!

Edit 2:

It would have been a pretty sight to watch the two of them grow together - from him losing his awkwardness to them getting married. Like the way how he promised that he would never spank her.

I cannot help but wonder what would have happened to the boy if the girl never came that day. Because of her, he gained everything. It's interesting how we sometime end up defining our existence by the way others need us in their lives. The outcome of this story would have been different or worse, there would have been no story tell.

I, of course, like the girl for all she is worth. The air of confidence mixed with innocence is a lethal combination, yes? She shows maturity, no doubt, but there is this sense of individuality in her which stands out more than anything. It almost screams in some places.

Loved this one shot Lady S!

Sookie

The home and house difference crept in on account of a subconscious intention I suppose, it was certainly not a distinct thought I can admit too, yet it was there. As for the 'if he had not met her' .. 'if' just happens to be that relentlessly pursuing factor in all lives, right? I'm certain if not this, there would be another story to tell.

Thanks for the detailed comments, and I'm extremely glad you enjoyed reading!