Gushing!!! - Page 8

Originally posted by: cutepigs

Exactly! I do think this was beautifully done and the last 30 seconds didn't seem bad to me. He was confronted with a piece of his past and he remembered the moment. We will know today what his reaction on it is, but yesterday one was very normal. The fact that he was aware he was doing the deed with Tejo and not Jasmine or her replacement and morning his reaction was shyness and not regret is a definite positive direction move for him, but we can't fault him if he gets confronted with his past since his past is following him.

This all was very very natural and I am on the team which says arrange marriages work this ways. I know we get more time in cities to find out about the guy and get a chance to fall in love, but smaller towns, you are lucky if you get the chance to become good friends, like Tejo and Fateh. I just want Fateh to either feel Tejo what Jasmine is doing, or take Mahi or Buzo's help in exposing/ ending her chapter for them. If Fateh decides to go itv females route and do it all himself, even his heart is in the right place, Tejo will misunderstand and leave.

Completely agreed. In fact, there was a twinge of awkwardness or shyness but no regret. Fateh is bound to have these momentary lapses and he always gets over it pretty quickly.

I think even cities and towns have almost the same concept, there’s hardly any “love” in the arrange marriage scenario and the babies pop even before the one year mark is up.

Love is a glorified subjective concept and the “suhaag raat” should happen only after a declaration or lots of hurdles is hilarious. In reality, the couples have s*x and it’s not even that big a deal.

Originally posted by: hapc

I feel like the issue was mostly that Tejo and Fateh were on a different page. That isn’t really Fateh’s fault but after the car hand holding he had an idea that they were on a different page. Moreover what annoyed people much more was the promo where he told jasmine meri zindagi mein tumhare alava aur koi nahi ho sakta.. I mean that’s just not done. In any marriage, I doubt the spouse would accept that. Before the consummation I thought they were sort of husband and wife but afterwards I went okay they are normal husband and wife and to do that to your wife is just…

i would probably argue that we're jumping the gun here saying on different pages- they both wanted to have s*x. so same page there but may be different reasons for wanting to get there? fateh knows that tejo maybe likes likes him and he likes likes her for sure- the basis of that is attraction and care. for fateh maybe even expelling jasmine from his system. the latter reason doesn't take away from the former. and again- we have TWO consenting adults. we say they did the deed but when we talk about it, its like s*x happened to tejo and fateh did the deed- he started it, he gave her false ideas, he used her. all this is very archaic. yes he started it but she continued willingly, he gave her the idea that she's desired, wanted and cared for- thats true even in fateh's head, as for usage- they gave each other something the other wanted- lets not disregard tejo's will and consent as stupidity- its quite a hard earned right in our world for young women to be able to give their consent.

lets be critical of fateh about potential the actions coming, lets talk about infidelity, lets talk about how he hurts tejo (if he does)- those are problems regardless of whether they are sleeping with each other. the s*x doesn't make you more or less husband wife. this is the problematic part of itv. there are many couples unable to consummate their marriage for various reasons- would we assume their marriage to be less? fateh made a commitment to this woman in front of everyone, kept her in his home and bed- for the world, she is already his wife in every which way. the deed doesn't increase or decrease the weight of that. as for tejo's hurt- it'd be their regardless and it wouldn't be less cos i think its crucial to remember- this is her sister after all. would we accept it if tejo was fully in love but the act didn't happen? no right? why would it be better somehow if the deed didn't happen? would infidelity feel easier, would betrayal be less sad? no. those are the problems

Originally posted by: Gurmeet4Drashti

But don’t you think we all jumped the gun too soon? The promos are always misleading. Take the last one for instance. A drunk jasmine enters the Virk house and fateh was seemingly disappointed?

Twitter anyway has a herd mentality so their reactions weren’t surprising.

As far as his feelings is concerned, I think they tried to show that he had made up his mind to concentrate on tejo and the whole ambience from the time they drove off was intimate and warm. He was wildly attracted to her.. and bam! You had a consensual consummation scene.

Regarding Fateh's future reactions, yes I guess we did jump the gun. It's possible that the reaction will be much better than the promo.

I see your points but it still doesn't sit right with me. I mean I don't hate Fateh for it anymore but I still don't like that it happened.

Originally posted by: hapc

Regarding Fateh's future reactions, yes I guess we did jump the gun. It's possible that the reaction will be much better than the promo.

I see your points but it still doesn't sit right with me. I mean I don't hate Fateh for it anymore but I still don't like that it happened.

Originally posted by: tejaswiniwenham

i would probably argue that we're jumping the gun here saying on different pages- they both wanted to have s*x. so same page there but may be different reasons for wanting to get there? fateh knows that tejo maybe likes likes him and he likes likes her for sure- the basis of that is attraction and care. for fateh maybe even expelling jasmine from his system. the latter reason doesn't take away from the former. and again- we have TWO consenting adults. we say they did the deed but when we talk about it, its like s*x happened to tejo and fateh did the deed- he started it, he gave her false ideas, he used her. all this is very archaic. yes he started it but she continued willingly, he gave her the idea that she's desired, wanted and cared for- thats true even in fateh's head, as for usage- they gave each other something the other wanted- lets not disregard tejo's will and consent as stupidity- its quite a hard earned right in our world for young women to be able to give their consent.

lets be critical of fateh about potential the actions coming, lets talk about infidelity, lets talk about how he hurts tejo (if he does)- those are problems regardless of whether they are sleeping with each other. the s*x doesn't make you more or less husband wife. this is the problematic part of itv. there are many couples unable to consummate their marriage for various reasons- would we assume their marriage to be less? fateh made a commitment to this woman in front of everyone, kept her in his home and bed- for the world, she is already his wife in every which way. the deed doesn't increase or decrease the weight of that. as for tejo's hurt- it'd be their regardless and it wouldn't be less cos i think its crucial to remember- this is her sister after all. would we accept it if tejo was fully in love but the act didn't happen? no right? why would it be better somehow if the deed didn't happen? would infidelity feel easier, would betrayal be less sad? no. those are the problems

After reading all your views, I'm not as mad at Fateh yet I still didn't like that consummation happened so early. If Tejo wasn't in love with him, I guess I wouldn't have had a problem.

I don't think consummation makes anyone more or less married, if they are in love. But for me Fatejo were just friends and therefore bringing in the s*xual aspect took them closer to romance which is more like what's in a marriage. In retrospect, similar things happen in arranged marriages so it's okay.

Coming to why I think the betrayal would hurt Tejo more after consummation, I feel like Tejo is the kind to feel like she has not only given her time, energy and love but also given her body or virginity to Fateh. That would hurt more. Our views on s*x, Fateh's views on it and Tejo's views on it are different. A lot of people still value their virginity and that's their opinion. The writers might surprise us by showing that Tejo brushes it off as purely physical but from her characterization until now in my opinion these would be her thoughts.

Most of this is speculation, and we're going to have to wait for the next few episodes to judge. I get why you are okay with it, but I'm still not.

Originally posted by: Gurmeet4Drashti

Completely agreed. In fact, there was a twinge of awkwardness or shyness but no regret. Fateh is bound to have these momentary lapses and he always gets over it pretty quickly.

I think even cities and towns have almost the same concept, there’s hardly any “love” in the arrange marriage scenario and the babies pop even before the one year mark is up.

Love is a glorified subjective concept and the “suhaag raat” should happen only after a declaration or lots of hurdles is hilarious. In reality, the couples have s*x and it’s not even that big a deal.

Agreed. Even I feel this glorification of suhaag raat has set up hilarious expectations for people in their life. I remember reading about an arrange marriage setup fail on internet and the girl mentioned how the guy asked her, within an hour of texting each other the first time, if she is a virgin because her past is now about him and suhaag raat is all about love so she should be a virgin.

Originally posted by: hapc

After reading all your views, I'm not as mad at Fateh yet I still didn't like that consummation happened so early. If Tejo wasn't in love with him, I guess I wouldn't have had a problem.

I don't think consummation makes anyone more or less married, if they are in love. But for me Fatejo were just friends and therefore bringing in the s*xual aspect took them closer to romance which is more like what's in a marriage. In retrospect, similar things happen in arranged marriages so it's okay.

Coming to why I think the betrayal would hurt Tejo more after consummation, I feel like Tejo is the kind to feel like she has not only given her time, energy and love but also given her body or virginity to Fateh. That would hurt more. Our views on s*x, Fateh's views on it and Tejo's views on it are different. A lot of people still value their virginity and that's their opinion. The writers might surprise us by showing that Tejo brushes it off as purely physical but from her characterization until now in my opinion these would be her thoughts.

Most of this is speculation, and we're going to have to wait for the next few episodes to judge. I get why you are okay with it, but I'm still not.

I agree with both of you. When I said it comes to consent, I meant more along the lines of if Fateh had regretted it in the morning that he loves Jasmine and Tejo took her place, or if when he saw the locket, he broke down remembering them having s*x because he feels he betrayed Jasmine, then it would have been murkier for me personally because then it would be like Tejo slept with her sister's lover and not her husband, not sure if am making sense here but for me. But since Fateh did not do that, my hopes for him live on! And I actually like the fresh and young take taken here regarding s*x where it is not assumed you only do that to conceive kids.

Originally posted by: cutepigs

I agree with both of you. When I said it comes to consent, I meant more along the lines of if Fateh had regretted it in the morning that he loves Jasmine and Tejo took her place, or if when he saw the locket, he broke down remembering them having s*x because he feels he betrayed Jasmine, then it would have been murkier for me personally because then it would be like Tejo slept with her sister's lover and not her husband, not sure if am making sense here but for me. But since Fateh did not do that, my hopes for him live on! And I actually like the fresh and young take taken here regarding s*x where it is not assumed you only do that to conceive kids.

i totally see where you are all coming from- we just have different views on s*x and marriage. i understand that to tejo her virginity is important. but to those same ppl- its not important from a love but rather a sanctity of marriage perspective. once you are married- its assumed who the virginity will end with. but i can understand the hesitance.

however i do disagree on one thing- regret doesn't take away from consent. i think its important to understand- they are completely different things. ppl regret sleeping with someone when the s*x is bad- would we say that was non-consensual? no! just maybe a lack of skills? tejo slept with her husband regardless of what fateh feels or thinks. if he regrets it- boo hoo thats his issue. it doesn't change the nature of what passed. you can't change it any more than you can change that tejo's husband will always be jasso's (ex) lover unless they divorce. his regret does not dictate his consent which was evident.

Originally posted by: tejaswiniwenham

i totally see where you are all coming from- we just have different views on s*x and marriage. i understand that to tejo her virginity is important. but to those same ppl- its not important from a love but rather a sanctity of marriage perspective. once you are married- its assumed who the virginity will end with. but i can understand the hesitance.

however i do disagree on one thing- regret doesn't take away from consent. i think its important to understand- they are completely different things. ppl regret sleeping with someone when the s*x is bad- would we say that was non-consensual? no! just maybe a lack of skills? tejo slept with her husband regardless of what fateh feels or thinks. if he regrets it- boo hoo thats his issue. it doesn't change the nature of what passed. you can't change it any more than you can change that tejo's husband will always be jasso's (ex) lover unless they divorce. his regret does not dictate his consent which was evident.

Fair enough, I get your point. I think I was thinking more from Tejo consented to sleep with her husband and not her sister's lover, but I do get your point on why is cannot be taken as consent.

Originally posted by: hapc

Regarding Fateh's future reactions, yes I guess we did jump the gun. It's possible that the reaction will be much better than the promo.

I see your points but it still doesn't sit right with me. I mean I don't hate Fateh for it anymore but I still don't like that it happened.

The promo was probably designed to make us overreact and we didn’t fail on that front! 😂

Because from what I’ve seen, fatejo had consensual s*x, he was in the right frame of mind and that locket just caused him to think of jasmine because it was a memento of their ridiculous love.