My Idea Box - Barcelona Trip - 17/08 - P:120 - Page 33

Originally posted by: meshmesh

Hi maithu

Here's what I think, I can't promise that it'll make sense.

1- There are both advantages and disadvantages to a big age gap, but I'd say the disadvantages are more.

One advantage is financial stability, since an older husband has usually saved enough money to provide a comfortable life than someone who's just starting his life. Some women prefer a husband who guides them through life more like a teacher or father figure, although I think this is rare now. An older partner is usually wiser so can better handle the bumps at the start of married life.

One of the big disadvantages of a big age gap is the increase in the chance that both don't see eye to eye on many issues, a younger person will be more liberal in their views and less bound to tradition. It gets difficult to share interests when the difference in their ages is large. Another disadvantage is that the older partner may patronize the other, always thinking he knows best and the other's views are naive. The difference in level of maturity can cause problems. Still an immature person will have marriage problems regardless of the age gap.

2- The limit of age difference, may be 15. I think the ages themselves play a part. 20-35 gap seems larger than 40-55. I think the level of maturity and how well the couple match are more important factors. I've seen couples with 10 years difference where you'd think they're almost the same age.

I'm curious how the story goes, I'm not bothered by the 10 year gap. It's good to read something different.

3- It shouldn't make a difference who is older, but because of social biases having the man older is more acceptable. I'll accept it, but I think the gap needs to be smaller, may be 10.

4- Having Chakor older than Suraj? Why not, I'm sure it'll be interesting.

Originally posted by: pershial

i dont have any problem with age gap .

about ten years different (yeah i dont have any problem with that too as i saw many couples who have 10 years age gap between them )

chakor elder than suraj (no)

i would prefer to watch suraj elder than chakor .

if sukor are in same age there is no problem for me .but i dont want chakor to be elder than suraj .(it would look like brother and sister to me)

Anyways di i am waiting for ur next story .

and thank u very much for givings us different kinds of sukor .

different suraj and different chakor . i just love them in ur story

one of my fav suraj and chakor in ur stories is

the suraj in POD (i even loved chakor in POD very much)

and chakor in flechazo .

sorry di for going off topic i just wanted to tell u .

love u a lot .

Originally posted by: Subi51

Love sustains two age group to remain a couple. Tbe age group may be same or different. It has both pros and cons.

PROs

There will be two individuals who can see the situation from different point of view one with experience, another with zest of energy. If two go hand in hand the output may be great.

The older can guide better and the younger can take better care. This will be good synchronization of each other strengths.

CONs

With the rapid development in the world, the mindset of age group is different. Lack of flexibility can cause problem.

Understanding each other can take time.

Depression

Eg: I have seen a case where the early marriage of girl (13-14 yrs) to man of 26 leading to birth of child with disorder. Only gene therapy can heal it whose success chance is few percent. Hence the mother is restricted to home taking care of the child until she is alive which led to depression.

After instance is life history of Princess Diana.

I think the age gap of 1-2 yrs is good. 5 yr ok. 10 yrs acceptable. What do you think about 30yrs will they remain happy?

I totally accept if the lady is elder than the man, She will transmit her sensibility . She will be more mature. Moreover, intuition of female is always right which gives her plus point. The limit 3yr

yes sure elder Chakor accepted. I think Suraj behaves more immature than Chakor

Originally posted by: katheriene

I think age difference is not a big issue

There are many examples of them in real life

10 years age difference is common in celebrity & normal life as well

I don't mind chakor being elder to suraj

Originally posted by: Sania_suraj

Hi sis..

Rather than chat it s a new idea sis..

Let start with ur questions..

1.For me, its advantage only..

-->becoz he can guide her as a father,teacher and everything..

-->both them will have an equal respect to each other..

-->Main thing is mostly girls looks little old after giving birth to a child..if we marry a same age guy he will look handsome after tat birth of child also..then both looks like younger bro and elder sis..they ll not look like made for each other..if we marry a guy who is older than us means after the birth of the child, they looks like made for each other couple..

2. for me 5 to 10 yrs is ok..

3.It will be good to look a couple of 10yrs diff..becoz they look like made for each other as i said before..And I m eagerly waiting for this story sis..

4. No sis..I don't like the couple with young men and elder lady..it will be disgusting to see and read about tat type of couple..becoz they look like sister and brother..somehow i can accept the same age group couple..but this i can't accept..

5.No sis..I don't want chakor to be elder than suraj..It don't look nice..I can't imagine them like tat..

sorry sis..if i said anything wrong..

Tq for this session sis..

Luv u..

Originally posted by: KUTUR

So now its my turn...you are already aware of my views regarding this topic,so only I am needed to elaborate..

First of all,I must say amazing questions..

I am never really thought about it,so I have little knowledge about it,I will be just answering the questions keeping myself in mind

Coming to the answers-

1.Advantages and disadvantages of a big age gap

Nothing in this world is homogeneous,and so a big age gap has its own pros and cons..

The pros-I have a very strong wish that my partner needs to be mature and intellectual,and a big age gap will certainly fulfill thus criteria,actually almost every girl is a princess to her father,and dreams to be the queen of her husband,as its the girl who has to leave her home after marriage,she wants to be pampered and taken care of,a big age gap would ensure that as well,moreover financial stability is very necessary that only an elderly man can provide,an age gap will always provide room for two different perspectives at one issue,fruitful for both parties,an age gap is actually the real bliss of marital life were two people never seeming to have get along live a life together sharing everything,it doesn't comes up when two people are of the same age...Actually the real thing is AT THE TIME OF ADVERSITIES,ALL YOU NEED IS TO REST YOUR HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER WITHOUT UTTERING A WORD...IT PROVIDES AN UNEXPLAINABLE FEELING OF SECURITY,I DON'T THINK SO THAT THE SECURITY WOULD BE FELT IF THE TWO ARE OF THE SAME AGE..

The cons-clash of opinions because of the different ages may happen,and also the hold of the elder one may turn out to be dominating,and if one dominates in a relationship without any consent,then it becomes a suffocation...this two are the only cons that I can see..

2.My idea of age gap-

The least should be two and the highest should be ten..personally I truly want my hubby to be 5 years elder to be...its perfect for me...

Only then I could be comfortable with him to strike a chord,any less then that I will take him very lightly,any more I will end up feeling shy to open up with my feelings...

3.My take on ten years age gap-

I already told that personally I never want that...but ten years gap is not something very unacceptable,as I have seen many couples of that age gap...one being my parents

The only issue that I see in having this much age gap,is the uncomfort in opening up fully...but then anything is possible when the relationship is held up by the divine feeling of love...so ten years age gap is not a issue for me in WWW,its just that we will get a much held back Sukor contrary of EMI..

4.What if the lady is elder to the man-

In the changing dynamics of the society,anything is acceptable...personally I never want to be elder to my hubby...

But if their is true and genuine love between the two..its good as NOTHING IN THIS UNIVERSE IS GREATER THAN THE FEELING OF LOVE...

But the woman should be only one to two years elder,not more than that,coz a woman's age is visible much more earlier than the man,so in order for the couple to look good,the woman should be elder only for one or two years...

5.My take on your idea-

As I always say,any out of the box concept always excites me...but I cant think Chakor to be elder to Suraj,as my mind is etched with the images of real Sukor...so its hard to imagine for me...but then if you really write something like that,it would definitely be interesting...so I am confused about it...need some time to sort myself out...

DID RABBI MADE HERSELF CLEAR TO MAITHILI????

Originally posted by: sumsukor

First Maithu I must say you amaze not only in your stories but also in your new conceptual thinking of something always out of box!

Hats off !

With regards to your questions. I am writing form my work so would need to be a bit precise.

With regards to 10 years of gap its ok for the earlier generation but with the current scenario I feel there will be a generation gap albeit the hearts understanding is always different. Actually Nothing wrong and nut would not really go for it if it has to be given as a choice.

The age gap max can be 5 - 6 years as it would lead to more of harmonious thoughts, guidance, think differently and also acceptance levels will be good and love is more mature too.

Lady older... hmmm not much I would prefer I would not mind same age but not much old as the domination would be there and the innocence which every guy would like to see in his girl will be bit lost.

Chakor elder to Suraj A BIG NO... please... as it is she acts smart and and dominates him while our man always stands high when she feels insecure. just cant get over those episodes... first drunk scene... she is cute and submissive when Suraj takes charge and would like that to be...

Sorry to be a bit curt too!!!

loads of love and wishes dear...