Are you happy? Members topic. - Page 4

Originally posted by: AdrakKombucha

Same:

https://youtu.be/qCar1p3gl3Q

My favorite scene from my favorite favorite movie! ❤️

Originally posted by: Charu21

Yes I am. I follow "Count your blessings" funda, my needs are limited anyways and I cherish even the smallest form of happiness. Biggest form of happiness for me is peace of mind. 

I also believe that whatever happens, happens because it was meant to. Nothing can change what has already happened in the past so go easy on yourself and move ahead and focus on your present and future. If you feel you have made mistakes in past, then also own it and try not to repeat it again but don't be too harsh on yourself. You have your whole future in front of you, why ruin it because of something that's not even in your hands!

Ofcourse life hasn't always been rosy for me but when I see people who are struggling even to meet their day to day basic needs, that too with happy faces?! I feel I have no right to crib about my "struggles"! 

Few years back, I came across some video where this colour blind guy got EnChroma glasses (glasses designed for colourblind people so that they can see colours) for birthday present and the excitement he had after seeing colours for the first time made me think have I ever appreciated the fact that I can see colours? I take this blessing for granted! That video changed my perspective towards everything! 

Enough of my essay, I need to stop now! 

Please don't stop🙏

I conquer with your post completely❣️

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

I used to be happy no matter what the circumstances. That came to an end when I lost my parents. I dream of them frequently. All the things I should've said and done... things I shouldn't have said... I don't think there's forgiveness for that. There you go. I'm a jerk. Or at least was to my parents. A little hard to be happy with that knowledge. 

I hear you. And same.

Originally posted by: Clochette

driven, better don't wish for sadness...it may not benefit you... 😉

maybe better make other people (with a lot of sadness) benefit from your happiness (and - as you feel it is - from your easy-going life) 😊

Ok I guess that would be better. 

Originally posted by: Charu21

Yes I am. I follow "Count your blessings" funda, my needs are limited anyways and I cherish even the smallest form of happiness. Biggest form of happiness for me is peace of mind. 

I also believe that whatever happens, happens because it was meant to. Nothing can change what has already happened in the past so go easy on yourself and move ahead and focus on your present and future. If you feel you have made mistakes in past, then also own it and try not to repeat it again but don't be too harsh on yourself. You have your whole future in front of you, why ruin it because of something that's not even in your hands!

Ofcourse life hasn't always been rosy for me but when I see people who are struggling even to meet their day to day basic needs, that too with happy faces?! I feel I have no right to crib about my "struggles"! 

Few years back, I came across some video where this colour blind guy got EnChroma glasses (glasses designed for colourblind people so that they can see colours) for birthday present and the excitement he had after seeing colours for the first time made me think have I ever appreciated the fact that I can see colours? I take this blessing for granted! That video changed my perspective towards everything! 

Enough of my essay, I need to stop now! 

This is so beautiful. You are such a positive soul. I think others can feel it. 

I'm trying to be more like this (ignore all my posts where I complain about the day of the week - I was hacked 😡). I want to focus on the simple things because I realize that's what makes me feel at peace. 

Internal contentment through good or bad. 

The pandemic has changed the flow of what most people were used to. 

Some people's lives became more restrictive, or for a moment... 

Finding the fun in versatility. The finances made malleable 👍🏼

Iam not happy with this revamped Bollywood section !! 

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

 

Having the strength to stop looking over my shoulder and regretting so much of my past. I can’t do it. 

Originally posted by: HearMeRoar

 

I hope you can someday. Then you can tell me how to.

It's not the best answer, but this is how I've looked at it (because I too have my fair share of regrets that have fudged up a chunk of my life) and it sorta is working for me. 

At the end of the day, I think of two things:

(1) The past is the reason why I am where I am today; and

(2) Today is the reason why I will be where I am tomorrow
(and technically #3 - tomorrow, I don't want to be where I am today - but that's just #2 in reverse)

PART 1: The Past is the Reason why I am Where I am Today

I can't go back and change my past, no matter how much I want to. So I make a compromise with myself. I make an apples to oranges list of my regrets and I think about what I would gain or lose if I had the ability to change my past. Remember, changing your past will change your future (regardless of how minute the change is). 

The decision becomes harder and more difficult when it involves the gain/loss/experiences with/of a loved one (kinda closer to your situations), but the intention is to realize and accept that what I have today is still just as invaluable compared to if my past changed/if my life changed. 

Without a doubt, what I have today isn't going to be 100% as good as if I had a chance to change my regrets (because that becomes a figment of imagination, desires, and ideals - we only have knowledge and feels for if a specific instance of our life changes, but the consequences oh which are an unknown and as a result of our desires, it will be hyped infinitely better). However, what I have today isn't 100% as bad as I want it to seem (because you have the knowledge of it). If that sound confusing, it's more like (desire met + unknown existence) v. (desire not met + known existence). 

What also helps is realizing the strengths that you have today as a result of your past. Despite your struggles, there were a few shining moments in your life - those are your strengths. Keep them close to you. 

That helps temporarily bring me back from my regrets. Every time I have my doubts and my regrets, I have to think about these things to a) distract me, and b) convince myself to accept it. It isn't an overnight process, but it does gradually become easier to ground myself in reality and accept myself. 

Also, remember you know more today than you did yesterday. So when you look back on your life, you look back with judgment influenced by your knowledge today - which is where regret stems from. What you knew back then is not what you know today - so when you look back, you have to do so with kindness and without judgment ("kindsight not hindsight" - cheesy but so cute). 

PART 2: Today is the Reason Why I will be Where I am Tomorrow

Next, I realize what I do have control over - and that's the present. The decisions I make today will impact my future. The regrets I wallow in today will still be there in the future unless I take control (I mean this as gently as possible of course - we don't snap out of it immediately). So my ability to control the now is either going to be undermined by my past or it can be used to change my future. 

PART 1 kinda helps you realize what you can and cannot change. I don't know how true this story is, but for example - I remember reading about a Vietnam veteran who was in pain because he had killed children during the course of the war. A Buddhist monk told him that he was killing himself and those children every day with his mind, and instead to start helping kids who are in need. He undoubtedly did kill children, but he may have also saved/help hundreds with his actions. 

I used to be a small-time bully growing up because I would get blinded by crowd mentality. One of the kids I bullied was one of my first friends growing up - I knew him since kindergarten (age 5). I ostracized him. I can't go back and un-bully him nor can I apologize (because to me, that's just words ... I can't change his life). But I use that regret to fuel my character today. I'm generally kind to everyone because of that regret (and I'm also a d*ck when I become one because of other regrets).

This is a pretty tame example compared to what both of you have gone through, but once you know what you can't change, it's easier to make peace with it so you can focus on what you can change. The memories won't ever go away - that's a part of us for eternity, but by reframing how you look at it and how responsible you hold yourself over it, you can start changing your life for the better. 

Ask yourself how you can cope with life when your fate (ie the moment you regret) wasn't a pleasant one, or ask yourself how you would manage your life when it isn't what you thought it would be. 

Take it one tiny step at a time, but the end goal is to think about the present and the future. You can do it, you will do it. Use the past as it should be used - to learn from it. Life happens. We carved the hell we are in by our own two hands, but our escape can only caved from our two hands. Just know that you aren't the only ones clawing your way out. Your loved ones will always be clawing their way in to help you get out - and never forget that. 

And like usual, I'm always there for you guys okie. ❤️

And to end of a lighter note, valuable advice from the Lion King 😆

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZfGTL2PY3E

Originally posted by: guenhwyvar

It's not the best answer, but this is how I've looked at it (because I too have my fair share of regrets that have fudged up a chunk of my life) and it sorta is working for me. 

At the end of the day, I think of two things:

(1) The past is the reason why I am where I am today; and

(2) Today is the reason why I will be where I am tomorrow
(and technically #3 - tomorrow, I don't want to be where I am today - but that's just #2 in reverse)

PART 1: The Past is the Reason why I am Where I am Today

I can't go back and change my past, no matter how much I want to. So I make a compromise with myself. I make an apples to oranges list of my regrets and I think about what I would gain or lose if I had the ability to change my past. Remember, changing your past will change your future (regardless of how minute the change is). 

The decision becomes harder and more difficult when it involves the gain/loss/experiences with/of a loved one (kinda closer to your situations), but the intention is to realize and accept that what I have today is still just as invaluable compared to if my past changed/if my life changed. 

Without a doubt, what I have today isn't going to be 100% as good as if I had a chance to change my regrets (because that becomes a figment of imagination, desires, and ideals - we only have knowledge and feels for if a specific instance of our life changes, but the consequences oh which are an unknown and as a result of our desires, it will be hyped infinitely better). However, what I have today isn't 100% as bad as I want it to seem (because you have the knowledge of it). If that sound confusing, it's more like (desire met + unknown existence) v. (desire not met + known existence). 

What also helps is realizing the strengths that you have today as a result of your past. Despite your struggles, there were a few shining moments in your life - those are your strengths. Keep them close to you. 

That helps temporarily bring me back from my regrets. Every time I have my doubts and my regrets, I have to think about these things to a) distract me, and b) convince myself to accept it. It isn't an overnight process, but it does gradually become easier to ground myself in reality and accept myself. 

Also, remember you know more today than you did yesterday. So when you look back on your life, you look back with judgment influenced by your knowledge today - which is where regret stems from. What you knew back then is not what you know today - so when you look back, you have to do so with kindness and without judgment ("kindsight not hindsight" - cheesy but so cute). 

PART 2: Today is the Reason Why I will be Where I am Tomorrow

Next, I realize what I do have control over - and that's the present. The decisions I make today will impact my future. The regrets I wallow in today will still be there in the future unless I take control (I mean this as gently as possible of course - we don't snap out of it immediately). So my ability to control the now is either going to be undermined by my past or it can be used to change my future. 

PART 1 kinda helps you realize what you can and cannot change. I don't know how true this story is, but for example - I remember reading about a Vietnam veteran who was in pain because he had killed children during the course of the war. A Buddhist monk told him that he was killing himself and those children every day with his mind, and instead to start helping kids who are in need. He undoubtedly did kill children, but he may have also saved/help hundreds with his actions. 

I used to be a small-time bully growing up because I would get blinded by crowd mentality. One of the kids I bullied was one of my first friends growing up - I knew him since kindergarten (age 5). I ostracized him. I can't go back and un-bully him nor can I apologize (because to me, that's just words ... I can't change his life). But I use that regret to fuel my character today. I'm generally kind to everyone because of that regret (and I'm also a d*ck when I become one because of other regrets).

This is a pretty tame example compared to what both of you have gone through, but once you know what you can't change, it's easier to make peace with it so you can focus on what you can change. The memories won't ever go away - that's a part of us for eternity, but by reframing how you look at it and how responsible you hold yourself over it, you can start changing your life for the better. 

Ask yourself how you can cope with life when your fate (ie the moment you regret) wasn't a pleasant one, or ask yourself how you would manage your life when it isn't what you thought it would be. 

Take it one tiny step at a time, but the end goal is to think about the present and the future. You can do it, you will do it. Use the past as it should be used - to learn from it. Life happens. We carved the hell we are in by our own two hands, but our escape can only caved from our two hands. Just know that you aren't the only ones clawing your way out. Your loved ones will always be clawing their way in to help you get out - and never forget that. 

And like usual, I'm always there for you guys okie. ❤️

And to end of a lighter note, valuable advice from the Lion King 😆

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZfGTL2PY3E

Shyam

🤗 

Happiness is momentary. It comes and goes in a flash. It's not the emotion that I strive for. I want to grow and change and be in the company of friends and family who I love.  I want to be proud of who I am and am trying hard to be a good human. 😉

Edited by Sritishabir1 - 1 years ago