A smart move by CVs....who are you supporting? - Page 5

Originally posted by: Enlightened21

Dear.... it's all about perspectives on how we see a situation and read each person. Yesterday I was reading an article about Intentions Vs Perceptions and came across an interesting explanation on how perceptions can differ, which I have quoted below:

...............

well said. 

I am not sure why this fandom is divided on aryan vs imlie vs arylie characters instead of issues or perspectives. guess it boils down to lazy writing? in other dramas I have watched, people have views on themes and there are no black and white answers. I am sure people have different reasons for why they are on different teams. I am sharing mine for context. 

I will say that life experience matters and adds context to our views.

so am on aryan's side and here is why -- 

1. I don't believe in perfect characters whether it is fictional or in life. so I expect characters to act stupid at some point and say dumb things. I don't get annoyed at that. what I get irritated at the lack of growth. 

-- I don't believe in perfect spouse or perfect love. it does not exist. this means I expect a relationship to have ups and downs. some guy constantly supporting you regardless of the nonsense you pull is just a pipe dream. at some point, it was inevitable that aryan would throw in the towel and burn.

-- if every person gets upset at what their spouse says or acts, then we would have lot more divorces in this country. 🤷

the above are the reasons I am nonchalant about aryan's behaviour. I don't care either way what he said or did do in a moment of pain and anger. we all know that he will feel for it later because that is aryan. 🤷

2. in the beginning the arylie story was beautiful and then it went downhill. there was no bridges to her falling in love. it was more like arranged  marriage ho gaya love. I wasn't surprised it fell because they didn't have enough foundation to the relationship

- marriage or relationship failing is a two way street. each partner has a role to play. at every turn, there is a choice and the choices we make dictate the road we travel on. 

the above is the reason that I am not devastated by this breakup. I was waiting for it. I am also cynical in that I believe that love can wither and die. in a daily drama, I expect the characters to atleast break up once. in ITV, several times.  😆

3. imlie was okay in the beginning but she has continously shown a lack of accountability and lack of growth. she comes across as insufferably arrogant. I have seen birdie comments that she is narcisstic. if you continously claim your intentions are good and will not accept the bad consequences, then that is a problem. choices have consequences. it is the lack of growth and lack of accountability that makes me dislike imlie

-- I have friends and relatives who are divorced. none of them obsess over anything related to their past. they make conscious efforts to focus on their second marriage and giving it their best to make sure it works. I could not relate to the gudiya track and how imlie was so mahaan. no matter how CVs spin it -- childhood trauma, issues with malini -- I don't buy it. imlie raising gudiya is problematic for me -- it is the ghost of aditya. 🤷

-- I have a relative who works as a psychiatrist and sees many patients who are considering second marriage or in one. her advice and observation -- unless someone deals with the demons of their past, they will continue to make the exact same mistakes of their first marriage in a different form in the second. the pattern will keep repeating in every relationship. that is imlie -- until she takes accountability and changes, she will keep destroying those around her. 

the above are the reasons that I am annoyed at imlie -- it boils down to lack of growth. by continously showing her as mahaan as a reason to not change, they have cheesed some audience like myself. 

i feel compelled to ask everyone who keeps saying that Imlie has never apologised for anything, where were you guys when she held her ears and apologised for her white lie about the sting operation night with Madhav? yes, white lie. had Jyothi with her underhanded intentions not been in the picture, that’s exactly what her lie about the sting operation night would have been. a harmless white lie. neither Imlie nor Aryan could have predicted that a supposed friend would spin it against them out of nowhere. people don’t remember when she apologises, but crucify her when she doesn’t. when she’s shown in a sympathetic light, she’s crucified. when she isn’t and is shown to rise above her heartbreaks and failures, she’s crucified all the same. 

and to the people who’re saying that Imlie is obsessing over Gudiya because of AKT, remind us whose decision it was in the first place to take her home? just because it was revealed later on that she’s AKT-Malini’s daughter, she is expected to immediately and completely erase the bond she had formed with the baby? and not having the heart to do so is a huge fault? i had mentioned this in another post, but let me reiterate this here. Imlie’s love and care for Gudiya is neither new, nor does it actually have anything to do with her issues/equation with Malini or Aditya. in fact and in spite of all of that, she has loved and cared for Gudiya from the time she was still inside Malini. people tend to forget this. if you guys recall, after Imlie and Aditya settled on letting Malini stay with them until Gudiya was born, Imlie also started caring and looking forward to the baby. she named Gudiya “Chotu” at that time. this is also why she is so attached to Gudiya right now. because the bond and attachment between them isn’t new and has been built up over a long time. Gudiya has been family to Imlie from way before Aryan. she’s Gudiya’s maasi, and this is how she’s been referring to herself in relation to Gudiya ever since finding out that Malini is her mother. MAASI. HER SISTER’S DAUGHTER. NOT ONCE did she relate herself to Gudiya with respect to AKT. not once did she bring up Aditya in reference to Gudiya until Aryan did. the thought of Gudiya being Aditya’s child wasn’t something she was even conscious of until it came from Aryan himself. she wasn’t affected by it even when it came from Malini. 

i’m not saying that Imlie is flawless or faultless, but Aryan always knew exactly who she is when he married her. if Aryan’s rationale behind marrying her is to change her, we’ll have to ask if he truly loves her, or simply an image he has in his mind of her. because love accepts everything you are as you are. it does not attempt to change. Imlie has never tried to “change” Aryan. she has always accepted him as he is. has anyone here ever seen Imlie ask Aryan to change himself for her? everything that he has ever done for her were at his own discretion, out of his own love for her. so how can you guys expect for Aryan to “change” (whatever that even means) her?

i say we see the situation for what it really is. place the blame where it’s due. the whole of this situation was orchestrated by Malini and Malini only. starting with leaving Gudiya for AryLie to find to the death of Cheeku. come at her. don’t come at Imlie or Aryan or Gudiya. letting Malini’s words about Imlie and AKT get into his head and ferment there is Aryan’s issue. actually letting it come out the way it did at the timing it did is undoubtedly Aryan’s bad. with the exception of that, neither one of them is at fault for their mutual tragedy. it’s sad that they couldn’t find the strength within to fall apart together. 

I support Aryan, and not because he is on a self destruction spree. Aryan faltered yes, but he faltered when it's ok to falter. I am not married but I saw my parents quarrel. They sometimes say nasty things to each other ( below the belt ones). It stings. And I wonder how can they carry on after this. But they reconcile and everything gets back to normal by the next day. 

Imlie, I don't have any problem with her coping mechanism. I wish it was not AKT and Malini's daughter that's it. It disconnects me 

Originally posted by: missFiesty_69

There is something called self respect. No relation not even that of husband and wife is more important. And you knows what's a half baked story ? It would have been one had she said Aryan ne mujhe dhakke marke Bahar nikal diya. You expect her to say the whole 9 yards when she's depressed ? Lol. I don't hold *only* Aryan responsible. I hold both of them equally responsible. Aryan even more so. As for Imlie moving on with other people, lol let's leave to it to the CVs yeah ?? And God forbid should she move on with someone else, I won't be least surprised if the forum calls her all kinds of name, because WE ARE EXTREMELY PROGRESSIVE. 

I can say for what they showed and only through her dialogues can audience connect with her, we can't imagine what she would have told to meethi later. Did any ever I told Aryan is right?? No.. I also said both are equally wrong and redemption should be on both sides not from single side.. marriage won't work when efforts comes from both sides. If she feels she is right on all ways then choose her self respect and move on. If she wants to reconcile with him, realize your own mistake and ask apology instead only expect him to apologize. 

Exactly it was the process wch made him say those words n thought that hes never her frst priority.. n trp aunties gave answer too as last 2 weeks imlie behaviour was unbearable wch finally made aryan give up on her ..its just not the loss of child. If this accident happ without her inviting malini by her own will without consulting naramda or any1 n this random accident happ ..he wld hv supported her same like he did wen he found out she cant be a mother or wen narmada ousted her frm home.. this time it was more of the process leading to that accident.. 

Originally posted by: handlerxsaviour

i feel compelled to ask everyone who keeps saying that Imlie has never apologised to anything, where were you guys when she held her ears and apologised for her white lie about the sting operation night with Madhav? yes, white lie. had Jyothi with her underhanded intentions not been in the picture, that’s exactly what her lie about the sting operation night would have been. a harmless white lie. neither Imlie nor Aryan could have predicted that a supposed friend would spin it against them out of nowhere. people don’t remember when she apologises, but crucify her when she doesn’t. when she’s shown in a sympathetic light, she’s crucified. when she isn’t and is shown to rise above her heartbreaks and failures, she’s crucified all the same. 

and to the people who’re saying that Imlie is obsessing over Gudiya because of AKT, remind us whose decision it was in the first place to take her home? just because it was revealed later on that she’s AKT-Malini’s daughter, she is expected to immediately and completely erase the bond she had formed with the baby? and not having the heart to do so is a huge fault? i had mentioned this in another post, but let me reiterate this here. Imlie’s love and care for Gudiya is neither new, nor does it actually have anything to do with her issues/equation with Malini or Aditya. in fact and in spite of all of that, she has loved and cared for Gudiya from the time she was still inside Malini. people tend to forget this. if you guys recall, after Imlie and Aditya settled on letting Malini stay with them until Gudiya was born, Imlie also started caring and looking forward to the baby. she named Gudiya “Chotu” at that time. this is also why she is so attached to Gudiya right now. because the bond and attachment between them isn’t new and has been built up over a long time. Gudiya has been family to Imlie from way before Aryan. she’s Gudiya’s maasi, and this is how she’s been referring to herself in relation to Gudiya ever since finding out that Malini is her mother. MAASI. HER SISTER’S DAUGHTER. NOT ONCE did she relate herself to Gudiya with respect to AKT. not once did she bring up Aditya in reference to Gudiya until Aryan did. the thought of Gudiya being Aditya’s child wasn’t something she was even conscious of until it came from Aryan himself. she wasn’t affected by it even when it came from Malini. 

i’m not saying that Imlie is flawless or faultless, but Aryan always knew exactly who she is when he married her. if Aryan’s rationale behind marrying her is to change her, we’ll have to ask if he truly loves her, or simply an image he has in his mind of her. because love accepts everything you are as you are. it does not attempt to change. Imlie has never tried to “change” Aryan. she has always accepted him as he is. has anyone here ever seen Imlie ask Aryan to change himself for her? everything that he has ever done for her were at his own discretion, out of his own love for her. so how can you guys expect for Aryan to “change” (whatever that even means) her?

i say we see the situation what it really is. the whole of this situation was orchestrated by Malini and Malini only. come at her. don’t come at Imlie or Aryan or Gudiya. letting Malini’s words about Imlie and AKT get into his head and ferment there is Aryan’s issue. actually letting it come out the way it did at the timing it did is undoubtedly Aryan’s bad. with the exception of that, neither one of them is at fault for their mutual tragedy. it’s sad that they couldn’t find the strength within to fall apart together. 

If expecting your partner to logically react rather than impulsively is asking her to change, then yes, Aryan is at fault.

If expecting your partner to stay away from her deranged sister is asking her to change, then yes, Aryan is at fault. 

If asking your partner to put their child and her husband as 1st priority is asking her to change, then yes, Aryan is at fault.

Aryan didn't see Imlie's relation when Gudiya was in Malini's womb. He only saw her obsession with AKT, Tripathis and how Malini used it to harm Imlie.

Aryan puts his family and their safety over Gudiya and Malini using her to harm Imlie. 

It might not be in Imlie's mind but the child is daughter of AKT and Malini. Just because it is not in her head, that doesn't translate to others not having it in their head. If being selfless is not her fault, then being logical is not his fault. 

Originally posted by: Enlightened21

Bold - By that logic, my hubby would have divorced me many times. 🤣 I can't count how many times, in the initial years of our marriage, I have told him to leave me for good, after every intense fight we had. It took 9long years for me to drop that habit. Till then my hubby used to laugh it off and then after few hours to days, we are back to being lovey dovey. That's how it happens in real life. Here it's fiction and since they wanted to have a reboot for Arylie and the actors, separation was brought in. Let's see it like that.

Count me in ✌️in five years marriage we both bursted you go and I am going out of house 😂😂 since most fight happens because of him so I go to mute mode after and he'll realize what he did and will ask sorry. About me I know if I was wrong so I will say sorry immediately 🤣🤣 that's the difference. After corono I asked him to fight less😂😂 because I can't waste My energy 😆

Also the sudden love fr her beloved sister , ex sautan whsoe husband she indirectly snatched  n she expects malini to shower sisterly love on her or vice versa wen both had been so ugly to eo 😂😂 the scene u remeebr wen aryan asked her to rest.. madam goes like if mera aur malini didi ka rishta irna bigda na hota gudiya ko hun prem kar sakat lmao 😂😂😂🤐🤐

P.S -- I can see a lot of the divide among the different teams is because we actually all have very different world views, perceptions and expectations about relationships, marriage and families. 

if imlie did apologize, it made no impact on me and I can't even remember them. imlie's very few apologies was half-baked and childish in my view. when you are 5, you can say "well, I didn't mean it" and people may excuse it. when you are an adult, it is irrelevant what your intentions were -- ultimately, it is about consequences. if the choices you make resulted in disastrous consequences, then you need to own up to it. that is part of being an adult. 

let me give you an example. I was watching a documentary yesterday about some of the scandals in recent years that happened in credit suisse (famous international private bank). some of those scandals were attributed a high risk culture led by some of the strategies each of these CEOs set. what happened? a series of CEOs got fired -- they could not argue in front of the board that their intent was to increase profitability and therefore they are good. nope, that is not how the real world works. result matters and you get booted out.

in this drama, the CVs continously keep lifting up imlie like she is untoucheable. that is annoying because she is obviously human and very flawed. my personal view is that you can't use traumas as an excuse to keep doing stupid stuff. at some point, one has to become better. 

also, I don't believe that just because you love someone, you don't have to change. that is a nice romantic illusion but that is not reality. every relationship changes us in different ways whether it is family or friendships or romantic love. we meld, change a little but also stay the same. it is like the path of a river. 

ofcourse, your family accepts you but their behaviours impact you and you impact them. that is symbiotic. did aryan change? yes, he did. he went from being angry, resentful and suspicious to seeing how imlie saw the world. he became more positive and more trusting. 

when people refuse to change, often it leads to negative consequences -- that is what I see in the real world. so the idea that she does not have to change and everyone has to accept her just as she is -- nope! that is not my world view. 

we all have to change depending on the circumstances and who we interact with and we keep changing everyday based on what happens to us. we cannot stay the same. some part of us will be the same but another part of us will change and grow up. that is just life! 🤷

Originally posted by: Zainu621

Also the sudden love fr her beloved sister , ex sautan whsoe husband she indirectly snatched  n she expects malini to shower sisterly love on her or vice versa wen both had been so ugly to eo 😂😂 the scene u remeebr wen aryan asked her to rest.. madam goes like if mera aur malini didi ka rishta irna bigda na hota gudiya ko hun prem kar sakat lmao 😂😂😂🤐🤐

I don't see Imlie snatching Aditya from Malini. In fact whenever I see Malini, I felt like go and get a life please. She should have moved on with that lawyer guy. 

In my personal life, if I don't have a good relation with any of my cousins, I will not be able to easily connect with their kids. I will not be hostile to the kid but will not openly shower love as well. That at an individual level doesn't allow me to connect to her.