This is a special one. I've actually given it a title, because there is scope to increase it to a proper os if I get the time hence why I'm posting it here.
PS: haven't checked for any spelling or grammatical error's.
What is love
When the heart breaks.
The clock had struck eight. The chimes were embedded in her brain. Eight times it had chimed and her heart felt as though it had shattered; Eight times. Disbelief was evident in her face at the words that had been spoken gently, with care as though she was a china doll that would break at the smallest touch.
He didn't love her, it had always been someone else. What she had thought, what she had felt was all in her. Noone else could be blamed. Then why did she want to shout and scream and everyone; put the blame on anyone but herself?
Dhara di sat next to her, waiting and watching for a reaction, questions, anger, hurt, tears but all she felt wasโฆnumb. Is this what it feels like when your heart breaks?
What is love?
It had been three weeks and the pain remained constant. There was no denying that what she wanted would never happen. She had seen him get married with her own eyes. To someone else. And they looked at each other as though there was no one else in their little world. They were happy and they were in love. But that could not be the only love that there was? Because then what was it that she felt? The feelings she had for him were no less; but now could no longer be. This was love too, unrequited, but love nevertheless. Then why was the numbness fading ever so slightly? Could it be that she had never felt love for him? What then was love? And how would she know?
Putting together the pieces
She had started feeling happy again; but that invisible string of guilt pulled her back. She had her heart broken, then how could she smile, laugh, live, like she had before? But it was harder to keep those feelings away especially when she had so many who loved her. His wife had also come, wanting to be friends and she'd been so tired of it all, tired of being sad, tired of feeling angry and tired of feeling numb; so she'd accepted that hand of friendship and they moved ahead.
It starts with like
She had seen him after a month. They had been avoiding each other since the marriage, where she was meant to be the bride. He gave her a small smile and a tiny nod. She replicated his moves, but the smile lingered. Surprised, she touched her lips, internalising her thoughts as to what was happening. Everyone present had noticed and a sigh of relief washed through them. He had been angry with the way everything was dealt with, but this tiny progress seemed to have calmed him down somewhat.
She reflected on her thoughts whilst laying in bed, as she had been every night since that day and her lips stretched on their own accord, causing her to pause and think of the thoughts she had. He had been on her side. Always.
When two people get closer
She saw him more often than not. It wasn't the same as before. Something had changed. His reactions to her had changed. He was the same, but gentler, more kind and she wondered if it would have been the same had she gotten married. She started seeking him out, spending more time with him and although he hesitated initially, he finally caved in and started spending time with her. The house had felt different after the wedding and her coming back as she used to brought the old feeling back. She had loved the house and its members; that had gotten lost in her search for answers,however, now that she had stopped seeking, she felt closer to the people she wanted to be with the most.
Then you fall in love
She had known him for all her life, but she hadn't felt this strongly for him. What is love? Love is being centred, love is going with the flow, if it is madness, then it is a madness you embrace with all your might to never let go. What is love? Love is what she felt for him. The illusion of love that broke her heart two years ago was nothing compared to her love for him. He was the prayer on her lips, a part of her very being, where one ended and one began she could no longer separate. If what she had felt before was love then it was demeaning to think that she had been broken at that feeling, when her love for him would destroy her if he ever left her.
She was wrapped in his arms when the clock struck eight. Eight chimes embedded in her heart, with gratitude of the time when her illusion shattered and she started her search for true love.
comment:
p_commentcount