Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 2 & 3 - Ashok Comes Home - Page 7

Originally posted by: _Reka_

I remember her telling Mini how her mom forbid her to ask questions and told her to keep quiet and adjust as a child already. She must have been instilled with th ecidea that her concerns and questions are not that important from very early on, while Mini was always free to voice whatever came to her mind. They are sort of antitheses to each other but there is no synthesis in the end...

Which episode was this in?

This also lines up with the head canon that I have about Babita's family. Her dad was the soft one, while her mother was strict.

Originally posted by: _Reka_

Why invite her in the first place - was this really what she wanted or was it Mini's idea? For ppl like Lovely ignoring them is the worst for them

I'm pretty sure Minnie invited her since she was in charge of pretty much everything for the wedding. It's the same with the Khatri's. They all know how vile and horrible Khatri was to Babita, and still rather than inviting just Kammo, they gave him an invitation too.

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

main hoti toh lovely ka naam change hoke ugly ho jaata.aur mere bacche ki himmat na hoti mujhe selfish bulane ki chahe main apne bacche se kitna hi pyaar kyun na karoon.  But dadu piss gaye useless khurana auraton ki wajah se.

I agree. If it weren't for these selfish women around him, he would have been a really strong supporter of Babita.

Originally posted by: naq5

i dont think it would have created more problems if she tried saying it calmly and making them understand for minis sake that mini wants to go to her dad and its not fair to her to keep her away from him. Babita as a wife and DIL couldnt ask for it but as minis mother she had a way out. We cant really know untill we ask or talk about anything about how it would have gone. At the most they would have said no and convinced her. secondly if babita would have tried once or twice and her inlaws wouldnt have paid heed to her she would have at least made some peace that she atleast tried. She would have got more points against daadu to lash out on the marriage day and mini would not have been able to tell her that you dint ask for your rights in the first place. And who knows they may have understood her and sent her to Ashok. Beeji is selfish but she would have thought about mini at least. The thing is that Babita wasnt powerless she choose not to try because that aligned with her view of a good DIL & wife. Babita has a one dimensional track mind when she thinks it is the one way to do she will only follow that and not question or think of other ways even if someone asks her to.

I agree that she should have at least tried but the thing is that without a strong support backing her up, Babita is the kind of woman who wouldn't. If she had someone to confide in like Poonam or even Naeem Bi, and they advised her to speak up, then she would have. Otherwise, she's too timid and hesitant to do it on her own.

Originally posted by: Rashmisingh9151

Asmaanixx you had written so beautifully👏 I really like how you're putting effort to write about all this😳 even though you're more interested yourself to write on HS entry 😆 nevertheless it was awesome 👏

Thank you so much!

As much as I love HS and am eagerly waiting for his entry, these episodes do a lot to lay down the foundations of both Babita and Minnie. Also, watching them in hindsight, and knowing how certain tracks play out, it puts a lot of things into perspective. Like, Babita's reservations, struggles with her femininity etc.

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

I agree with you rashmi. If half the DIL start speaking up and standing up for their rights than most of the inlaws would have been on the streets today. But most of the time women compromise at inlaws place to maintain peace. It is easy to say should have done this should have done that. Just like all fingers are not same, it is same with humans. I m an outspoken DIL. But my jethani does things even when she dosent want to do it. I cannot force her to be like me. Neither i can be like her.

We need to learn to accept that not all women are the same. They're all not going to be loud, brash and violent like Minnie. Some of them are going to be timid, reserved, and non-confrontational like Babita.

Besides, it's not like Babita kept quiet her whole life. When time came, she did stand for herself. She fought against Ashok when her character and dignity was questioned, she left the Khuranas when they refused to give her the respect she deserved after taking care of them for so many years, and she went against the world many times when it came to Minnie. Did she eff up at times and struggle? Yes, but that's her only being human. Just because she's a parent, it doesn't mean that she's perfect.

I agree. Its very easy to be like Babita should have spoken up and should have stood up for herself, or should have demanded to go with Ashok. Its not that easy. She comes from a different school of thoughts, from a different generation. Being married at the tender age of 18, when you are still growing up, you are thrown into a new house, new relationships and new environment. On top of that, she gets pregnant right away. She is in a difficult situation. And, her husband is not even with her and doesn't even fight to take her with him. All the power was in Ashok's hand to take Babita with him, yet he didn't and didn't even try to. Babita was just 18 and still growing up and not mature as you would be in your mid-late 20s (when normal people get married), how do you expect her to handle situation like other mature women (in their mid-late 20s) would have? You can't compare the two. She also didn't have anyone to confide in, not her parents, and no friends, which btw, Ashok and Beeji objected her to have friends too (as she herself told Mini). Her situation is a very relatable one, many women in real have faced what Babita has, be it in-laws, vile SIL, or an absent or uncaring husband. That's why her journey was so important, and something that needed to be told. Thats why it was even more disheartening that the writers chose not to complete her journey and the way they chose to finish her story arc was just horrible. 

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Which episode was this in?

This also lines up with the head canon that I have about Babita's family. Her dad was the soft one, while her mother was strict.

I think when planting the seeds to that holy plant... If I remember right, just a day after the ugly court scene. 

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

I agree with you rashmi. If half the DIL start speaking up and standing up for their rights than most of the inlaws would have been on the streets today. But most of the time women compromise at inlaws place to maintain peace. It is easy to say should have done this should have done that. Just like all fingers are not same, it is same with humans. I m an outspoken DIL. But my jethani does things even when she dosent want to do it. I cannot force her to be like me. Neither i can be like her.

Actually these are problems that are best solved by the husband... But if he doesn't speak up for her wife and she is not a confident person her position is probably going to be a difficult one. And guys mostly tend to avoid conflicts with parents or wife. 

There are sadly many women who face what Babita did, even if they marry at an older age, are educated, have jobs, etc. Financial independence does not always help when you are socially conditioned to be submissive when dealing with your husband/in-laws. I have seen so many examples of this that I've lost count. The conditioning is so solid that at times the woman in question is not even aware that she is a victim of it, and neither is the rest of the family.