Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 2 & 3 - Ashok Comes Home - Page 5

Originally posted by: naq5

i mentioned all elders failed her. And i am not saying babita should have walked out of marriage or fought with her in laws or raised her voice . She could have tried talking to daadu beeji about going to live with ashok. Ok she couldnt for her sake(it was against a good bahu norms that she had created in her mind)  but at least for minis sake she could have talked to them about it.  If she had said for minis sake that she wanted her child to have a father around growing up, they could have agreed. you dont need to fight, such things can be talked out calmly also. At least daadu would have understood. the thing is babita never told all this in a respectful calm way also. It was not that she was not in a position to talk to them. they would not have thrown her and mini out of the house if she talked to them about going to live with ashok.

 And babita was not quiet because she was scared of in laws she was quiet because she did not want to be called a bad wife and bahu. she had a misplaced notion of respecting her inlaws by not even asking or requesting them for her basic needs and rights. 

Even with lovely she could have nicely explained to her in a calm way that she is hurting her with her words. maybe even told this in front of daadu beeji that she is getting hurt. But no she just meekly listened to lovely taunts showing she dint feel bad about it, and used to secretly get happy that mini gives it back to lovely. Not the solution to an issue. And even if she was a bit firm with lovely and told her off sometimes and even if beeji lovely were angry at her it was not that daadu would not support her and allow them to just walk over her if she actually protested for herself. She just did not even try. 

I understand what you are saying and that she never once tried. I am with you on the point that Babita should have acted more stronger against Lovely and Khuranas. I am personally against silently keep listening to taunts. 

But I also understand why she couldn’t. Here the power lies with Ashok and Senior Khuranas. Ashok should have been one to demand his rights as husband and Father which he failed to do. To me, Babita was not in a position to even speak calmly. Even if she would have, Lovely would have created ruckus and made Beeji flip. Dadu’s reasoning would fall on deaf ears. Beeji would have complained to Ashok that Babita is being unreasonable with them.

For all these years that Babita spent waiting for Ashok coz in her head she believed he loved her. Delusion yes. But that was her reality. (As accepted by her in front of HS after their honeymoon fight). In her head She and Ashok were fulfilling their duties. He by staying abroad, earning and sending them money, she by serving Khuranas and being good bahu. I for one strongly believe that her speaking and wanting to go with Ashok would have created more problems in her life. Babita was simply powerless in that household. And doesn’t help that she was very weak person coupled with delusions. She only gained confidence and strength with help of Mini. 

Originally posted by: Sakurablossom

When Minnie gave that whitewash Khurana lecture, I said the same thing. At that time it looked like a social commentary to some readers, but the thing was that it is not  possible to keep social commentary out of this matter. 

Writers later on making Minnie say that why babita didn't leave, why babita always wanted to look mahaan was a big loophole in  both narrative of the story and a big blow to women in her position. We all know many women who don't mess with their in-laws because they can't afford to do so. There's no support system whatsoever for most women once they get married.

 It's like saying why did slaves not left their masters? Slaves wanted to look mahaan.  It's not that simple.

It's hard to not to draw parallels between this story and reality as Punjab actually has this problem of husbands leaving their wives back in India for years.  Her situation is very real but later on writers' interpretation of her situation was so unjust, I couldn't fathom it at all. People sympathize with Minnie,  and I agree her situation was hard too. But babita had it worse.

It's not just this matter but all. No matter how much KK believes otherwise, you can't escape giving some sort of social commentary or another. Stories don't exist in a vacuum. They influence people in some form or another.

They could have opened up a nice dialogue into the psychology of victims, but in their quest to make Minnie mahaan, they effed up big time.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Exactly!

Despite her being the other woman, she lacked the typical vampish behavior that is reserved for such women. Much more than Ashok, she was sympathetic towards Babita and recognized how she was being wronged in this situation. Her constant egging him on to come clean to his family was also proof of his cowardice. He could have told them the truth in the past ten years either over the phone, or when he went to visit India. Yet, he kept quiet. Even this time, he had hours to speak to them and he said nothing. He really doesn't want to shake things up too much and would have kept deluding them if it hadn't been for Meeta coming to India.

You see, this is exactly what it takes írl often too to become a mistress (disclaimer: never been one and never plan to but I decline to judge them in general). No vampish behaviour just being there where the wife isn't (physically or emotionally) for whatever reason. It's very sad for both (wife and mistress) in different ways and the guy is often the jolly 3rd party. I also liked how HS wasn't really judging Meeta for getting involved with Ashok once her whole story was out, he had much more compassion for her than society (like the neighbours who wouldn't even go to the reception of the family breaker). It is a taboo thing all over the world that happy marriages often do not last a lifetime and all there is left how we as a society and as individuals deal with this fact. 

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

That photo frame made me hate Lovely like there's no tomorrow. She had everyone in it, including a toddler Minnie but Babita? There was absolutely no sign of her. If you can go to the extent of excluding someone out of a family photo then what kind of respect would they be receiving in their daily life? No one had pointed it out except for Minnie, and even when she did no one tried to rectify it. They were all too busy catering towards the man of the house. 🤢

There used to be something abt photos and arrangements of the same in PB before they had drowned in the love of mediocre photoshopping 😁😅

But yes, this is absolutely cringeworthy. As if Not-so-Lively tried to punish Babita for her own screwed up relations with her own in-laws. 

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

It's not just this matter but all. No matter how much KK believes otherwise, you can't escape giving some sort of social commentary or another. Stories don't exist in a vacuum. They influence people in some form or another.

They could have opened up a nice dialogue into the psychology of victims, but in their quest to make Minnie mahaan, they effed up big time.

I thought at first they tried to but than changed their minds for drama's sake. 

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

@bold - Exactly. She missed on her Father’s love but she was loved and pampered by her family. She only missed out on one person while Babita only had one person to call her own and that is Mini. I am not undermining Mini’s struggle or that she grew up without father but others in her life tried to compensate that absence. 

I would never do what Mini did to Babita regarding Khuranas. Never say that to my mother that you are selfish for not wanting anything to do with my dadu biji. Babita got married for 2nd time. On her wedding day Lovely taunted her and called her husband to be an evil step father. Biji supports Lovely and asks Babita to stay quiet even on her wedding day. Yet she is expected to let Khuranas be in her and Mini’s life. 

Grandparents love grandchildren so obviously we are close to them. But then they don’t treat your mother as a human. And when you grow up, you can see this from a fair perspective. Mini lost that perspective. More so writers did! 

May be Babita would have reconciled later with senior Khuranas coz they were elder in her life and she did treat them like her own parents. But her wound was too open that time. It was just 3-4 days back they created ruckus in her new life. It didn’t heal. She needed time to forgive, forget and move on. I don’t consider her to be a person who holds grudges forever. But to expect her to be sane just within few days was unreasonable.

Agreed.

Not just with the Khuranas, but everything else as well. She was dealing with a lot of stress from the days leading up to the wedding, and the CD  turned everything topsy turvy and then Lovely's stupid comment just made her flip the table. For 17 whole years she kept taunting and berating her and now she had the audacity to do the same to her and husband, that too ON her wedding day??

I still think Babita went too soft on her. If it was me, I would have said a lot more. Fck the rules and etiquette when you have this btch standing in your way.

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

I understand what you are saying and that she never once tried. I am with you on the point that Babita should have acted more stronger against Lovely and Khuranas. I am personally against silently keep listening to taunts. 

But I also understand why she couldn’t. Here the power lies with Ashok and Senior Khuranas. Ashok should have been one to demand his rights as husband and Father which he failed to do. To me, Babita was not in a position to even speak calmly. Even if she would have, Lovely would have created ruckus and made Beeji flip. Dadu’s reasoning would fall on deaf ears. Beeji would have complained to Ashok that Babita is being unreasonable with them.

I remember her telling Mini how her mom forbid her to ask questions and told her to keep quiet and adjust as a child already. She must have been instilled with th ecidea that her concerns and questions are not that important from very early on, while Mini was always free to voice whatever came to her mind. They are sort of antitheses to each other but there is no synthesis in the end... 

Originally posted by: naq5

i actually think she would have stayed back more for minis sake for not wanting to seperate her from her family. beeji could have easily fed her all this staying for her daughters sake that we will throw out meeta together and she would have stayed and tried, if it was not for mini who pulled her out when she was in shock and not in her proper senses.

This never would have happened because Minnie would never let it. Besides, it's not like Babita was in a state of shock forever. She was calm and had a good grasp of what was going on. If she wanted, she could have taken Minnie back, especially during the depression track.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Agreed.

Not just with the Khuranas, but everything else as well. She was dealing with a lot of stress from the days leading up to the wedding, and the CD  turned everything topsy turvy and then Lovely's stupid comment just made her flip the table. For 17 whole years she kept taunting and berating her and now she had the audacity to do the same to her and husband, that too ON her wedding day??

I still think Babita went too soft on her. If it was me, I would have said a lot more. Fck the rules and etiquette when you have this btch standing in your way.

Why invite her in the first place - was this really what she wanted or was it Mini's idea? For ppl like Lovely ignoring them is the worst for them

Originally posted by: naq5

yes of course. why do you ask this? 

No just out of curiosity.