Patiala Babes Rewatch: Episodes 2 & 3 - Ashok Comes Home

Patiala Babes: Episodes Two to Three

Ashok Comes Home

For the purpose of today's thread, I'm going to break it down according to what I liked and didn't like. My opinions won't align with yours of course, but just don't send hate for it.

What I Liked:

Dadu - He continues to surprise me tbh. In my initial viewing I had skipped these episodes but even then, I hadn't always hated him. More than any other Khurana, he went out of his way to support Babita and check up on her from time to time. So when Babita made her outburst on her wedding day and said that she simply tolerated them all and didn't do anything out of genuine love, I felt incredibly bad for him. Yes, he may not have done as much as he should have, but he still supported Babita and loved her sincerely. He does see all the sacrifices she makes, and all the hard work she puts in to make them all happy. When Ashok came back, he was the only one who called out for her. Once to serve them all tea (it will give her an excuse to finally come out and meet Ashok), and the second time to sit with them and have dinner. In his own little ways, he tries to keep her around so that she can be a part of their family and not just someone who serves them.

Minnie - I liked her a lot in these two episodes. From her preparing little conversations that she will have with her Papaji but then failing to actually say anything to him; to the inner monologue she had about Ashok's absence and how much she and Babes missed him; to her being incredibly upset about the doll Ashok brought him - it was all beautifully portrayed. Ashok wasn't even there for her birth. The only connection that she has with him is through the stories that she has heard and the pictures she has seen. Her constantly calling him a stranger is truly sad. One shouldn't have to feel that way about their own father, and yet she does.

Sukhi - I always loved this guy and I still do. Why he loves Lovely will always be a mystery to me, but this dude is a gold mine. He's so kind and polite; his camaraderie with Minnie is great, and him feeling guilty over having the AC room was a touching moment. He, out of everyone in that house, saw that it will be the right thing to give it up for just one night and yet no one takes him seriously. 😒

Babita - In the first episode we saw her in a plain look, with beige clothes and bare to no make up. Ashok is coming back and she finally decides to dress up. She's wearing traditional deep red, puts on some bangles and applies make up. She finally pays some attention to herself and even talks to a photo of Ashok and blushes. Then comes Lovely with her taunt of keeping her shame in check since there are elders around the house. The disgust I felt in that moment is to another level. Her husband is coming home after five years, and you're going to tell the wife to keep herself in check?

Babita does what Babita does. She takes off the bangles, puts her hair up in a bun, wipes off the make up and changes out of her clothes to again something plain. We saw the first instance of just how deep her repression goes. Yesterday, she was vocal about Minnie apologizing because she didn't want anyone to question her upbringing. Today, she didn't want anyone to comment on her being provocative. But the thing is, it's her husband. She shouldn't be shamed for wanting to dress up for him or wanting him period.

It really puts her relationship with HS to another perspective, especially Dheere Jalna. In that moment, he wanted her and she him. That was made abundantly clear but she stopped herself from doing anything because she has been shamed for her desires for seventeen long years. Then for people to judge her because she wanted to bask in her marital life, sickens me now. Just look at the kind of home that she was living in? If she wants some time where she's showered with unlimited love, then what's wrong with that?

Meeta - Despite her being the other woman, there's something about her that makes her likeable. Maybe it's her confidence, or maybe it's just Hunar's acting, but I like her. I particularly liked the portion where she told Ashok that Babita has the right to know about her. She has the right to know that Ashok doesn't want to spend a night with her or any day for that matter. Meeta has a selfish motive for thinking this way, but she is correct. It's not right to keep his family in the dark about such a grave matter. Babita is going to react in a bad way regardless of how the news comes to her. There isn't a single person out there who would take news of an affair in a positive way. There will be tears, anger, frustration and a lot of ugliness. You just gotta own up to it.

What I Didn't Like:

Lovely - Everything about her, I absolutely hate. There is nothing good about this woman, it's just all so venomous. First of all, she's the biggest source of Babita's insecurities. She doesn't spare a moment to taunt or humiliate her, and yet she expects Babita to do everything for her. Ashok comes home after so long and she literally hogs him and behaves as if no one loves him more than her. When it comes to gifts, she takes everything and spares nothing for Babita. Dadu has to point out that Ashok must've brought something for Babita. What does she do? She searches through her gifts and leaves behind something that she doesn't want. It's such a petty move, it's unbelievable. Then, when the cooler breaks down, she berates Babita in front of Beeji and Ashok. She doesn't think twice before going into Babita's closet and grabbing the blanket for Ashok, showing she doesn't care much for Babita's privacy. Later, she tells Babita not to be sad as it is just for one night. The next day, the cooler will be fixed, Ashok will be hers as well and they can enjoy their honeymoon. 🤢 Who the hell even says this? The amount of attention she has given to Babita's sex life in these three episodes is unbelievable. Just let the woman be!

Beeji - Her constantly siding with her kids is getting annoying. Then, when Dadu says anything to support Babita, she berates him. Like eff off woman! Again, when the cooler breaks down, she actually supports Ashok sleeping separate from Babita but plays it off as if it's Babita and Ashok's choice. Them living away from each other is all her fault. She doesn't even consider Babita in this equation. She simply sees it as Ashok staying away from her. Babita and Minnie were used as baits to make Ashok keep coming back to visit them. He didn't, and the two were left to suffer horribly.

Ashok - It was weird to see him not yelling, or screaming or fighting with someone. Him being lovey dovey with Meeta, or polite with his parents... it took me some getting used to. It definitely gave a glimpse into the type of man that both Babita and Meeta loved in their own ways. He's not out and out horrible. He actually seems to be a decent guy who just ends up doing a lot of stupid shit.

Him not being on social media makes sense because he doesn't want his family to know about Meeta. But for him to share absolutely nothing, like his work or the friends he has is a bit overboard. Moreover, him not even knowing how old Minnie is, or what grade she's in - that was too much for me. Even if they didn't send photographs to each other, did they never speak over the phone? Did he not once inquire about how she's doing? This is something that every desi relative asks about kids just to make small talk, and he couldn't even do this for his own daughter?

Although superficial, at least he tried to make some small talk with Minnie. He couldn't even do that with Babita. The woman was ready to give him her jewelry if it meant helping him out with financial difficulties, and yet he couldn't be bothered to ask how she's been doing? I was actually surprised to learn that he actively tried to find ways to not sleep in the same room as her during his last few visits. I always assumed his family came in the way, but the fact that he initiated these separations is another thing.

Other Thoughts:

Ashok is a shitty person for keeping Babita and his whole family deluded for so many years. He should have come out with it a long time ago. Better yet, if he had been feeling that lonely, he should have spoken up about taking Babita and Minnie along with him. They're his wife and daughter, he had the right to do so.

The gift scene puts a lot of things HS did into perspective.

Ashok not knowing how old she is, brings her a doll, something that is entirely useless to her. The hell is she going to do with that piece of plastic? He's her father. He should have done more to connect to her and know about her. HS on the other hand, whilst not really having a strong connection to her, bought her her first ever camera. Something she carried with her long into her life and assisted her in her career. It's the first gift that he ever gave her and will remain the most precious.

Ashok didn't bring anything special for Babita, despite her being his wife and him coming back after five years. Yes, he doesn't feel the need to since he's already with someone else but even long back with the earrings, he didn't put a lot of effort into them. The earrings are incredibly plain and frankly ugly as hell. Yet, Babita cherishes them because they're from him and she considered them to be a token of his love when they're really not. HS on the other hand, brought her a personalized gift. They're pretty to look at it, has a bit of pink which is her favorite color, and are just colorful in general. They look light and cute, and can be paired with any outfit she chooses. Moreover, he sent someone home to give the gift to her personally. He didn't disguise it as a general gift for everyone, that she'll have to pick and choose from. No, he let her know that he got something for her and her alone, and increased her anticipation with his countdown. That level of attention and extra effort that he put into making her happy is special.

When Babita was talking to Minnie about her and Ashok's anokha pyaar, it sounded as if it was something that she used to convince herself this separation is worth it. She may have had a different idea of love at the age of eighteen, but then as she grew up, she changed that idea into something that will comfort her on lonely nights. After all, if her love isn't unique, then how else can she justify her being separated from her husband for so long? I don't know if she and Ashok ever had a conversation about them being in this together in regards to their separation, but it sure sounds like something she just told Minnie to keep her quiet. Babita deluded herself with a lot of things largely because she had no other choice. She couldn't voice out her concerns to anyone in that house. If she even made a whisper of it, they would all eat her alive. Sukhi would reassure her that she's over thinking. She may not feel comfortable talking to Dadu about this. Beeji and Lovely will just chew her out and bash her like there's no tomorrow for even daring to think so negatively about their beloved Ashok. She can't speak to Minnie about this as it'll worry her unnecessarily and it's not necessarily something you want to share with your child. Her neighbor Rano is a loud mouth like Lovely, and there haven't been any friends in the neighborhood that we know of. Babita has lived an incredibly lonely life and it's just really, really sad.

They played their own tune for Din Shagna Da, and a portion of the song as well. PB's love for this song is to another level. 😆

Overall, these two episodes were good. I could always do with less of Lovely though. I just don't like the actress for it. She grates my nerves too much.

Loved the write-up, Gur. Absolutely beautiful and loved your thoughts on this. 

This is the Lovely that I was introduced to, and she was extremely vile and vicious towards Babita. So, when Mini and Dadu-Beeji try to justify Lovely's behavior by saying "Lovely dil ki buri nahi hai", it ticked me off, esp. Mini justifying that (when she knows better). Like EFF that shit. She is definitely dil ki buri, dil ki na buri people don't say the shit that she did to Babita. 

When watching these episodes, you realize how lonely Babita must have been in those 17 long years. Its very easy to be like, well she should have gone with Ashok. First she didn't have a choice when the husband himself never initiated it, even if he did, you think Beeji being the way she is, would have not emotionally blackmailed them to stay back. And, Babita not standing up against Lovely, I totally understand because everyone in that house would have eaten her alive, barring Sukhi and Dadu, but they wouldn't be able to stand up to defend her either. She truly only had Mini to call her own in that house.

They never mention this in the show, but I bet if Babita's parents were alive, she would have left Ashok way sooner, as I reckon, Babita's parents died when Mini was a baby. She had no where to go and no support, and where will she take a little Mini and go where. She had no one. No friends. If she was in touch with Poonam, she would have someone to confide in. We always blame the victim. When Mini accused Babita of not standing up for herself, this is the exact reason why I was so pissed at her. 

Edited by LoveInAutumn26 - 4 years ago

Reason for Ashok and Babita's marriage failing: 

1) Beeji - For not letting Mini and Babita go to London for her own selfish reasons. 

2) Ashok - For not being able to stand his ground against his parents, esp. his mom and demand that he take his wife with him. 

3) Ashok - For not returning back to India after initial years of living in London. Why did he not try to start business (like he did with Meeta) in India? 

4) Ashok - For being a coward and having an extramarital affair. Also, for hiding it from Babita for 10 years. If he had let Babita know the first time he cheated on her, at least the poor woman would be out of this torturous marriage within few years itself, and wouldn't have to tolerate it for 17 long years. 

5) Babita's Parents - For getting their daughter married at the tender age of 18 to a guy she barely knows. Again, not standing up for their daughter, or not being able to advise her to go with Ashok when he first left for London. 

5) Dadu - For not standing up for Babita and telling her to go live with Ashok. 

And Finally 

6) Babita - only for being delusional and actually starting to believe that her long-distance marriage was a normal thing. 

But, if she didn't have to go through all that she went through, she would have never met Hanuman. Even if Ashok didn't cheat on Babita and they finally were able to live together after 17 years of being in long-distance, I don't think she would have received the same kind of love and respect or even close to it that she received from Hanuman, from Ashok. 

Edited by LoveInAutumn26 - 4 years ago

Lovely write up Gur..🤗. I have a doubt regarding Ashok bringing doll for Mini. In his letter to HS, he said he would send gift for her every birthday. Even if he didn't know her likes/dislikes or how old she is, he   must have known she is growing up. Wouldn't a common man however estranged he might be from his child will know grown up people don't play with dolls? 

Originally posted by: Jiarao

Lovely write up Gur..🤗. I have a doubt regarding Ashok bringing doll for Mini. In his letter to HS, he said he would send gift for her every birthday. Even if he didn't know her likes/dislikes or how old she is, he   must have known she is growing up. Wouldn't a common man however estranged he might be from his child will know grown up people don't play with dolls? 

i think this was ashoks visit after 5 years. before 5 years maybe he did come regularly and was in some tune with minis age and what gifts he could give her. babita did say that little mini waited for the birthday gift ashok sent her

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

Reason for Ashok and Babita's marriage failing: 

1) Beeji - For not letting Mini and Babita go to London for her own selfish reasons. 

2) Ashok - For not being able to stand his ground against his parents, esp. his mom and demand that he take his wife with him. 

3) Ashok - For not returning back to India after initial years of living in London. Why did he not try to start business (like he did with Meeta) in India? 

4) Ashok - For being a coward and having an extramarital affair. Also, for hiding it from Babita for 10 years. If he had let Babita know the first time he cheated on her, at least the poor woman would be out of this torturous marriage within few years itself, and wouldn't have to tolerate it for 17 long years. 

5) Babita's Parents - For getting their daughter married at the tender age of 18 to a guy she barely knows. Again, not standing up for their daughter, or not being able to advise her to go with Ashok when he first left for London. 

5) Dadu - For not standing up for Babita and telling her to go live with Ashok. 

And Finally 

6) Babita - only for being delusional and actually starting to believe that her long-distance marriage was a normal thing. 

But, if she didn't have to go through all that she went through, she would have never met Hanuman. Even if Ashok didn't cheat on Babita and they finally were able to live together after 17 years of being in long-distance, I don't think she would have received the same kind of love and respect or even close to it that she received from Hanuman, from Ashok. 

@ bold well they had an EMI to pay off for the house loan. so for that he was forced to stay there & earn. Also lovely and sukhi really did nothing to earn instead spent off dadus savings in starting up business and failing in them and they had a lot of more nakhras like wanting an AC etc etc.  So basically ashoks earnings had to take care of 6 people in the house.

rest of the things are quite the reason why babita Ashok marriage broke. 

Beeji is an extremely selfish person. It is shown that she was selfish for only her children but she really dint think about ashok too. They all wanted to live lavishly on his earnings yet she dint think that how he would be living there all alone with no one to share life with and send babita and mini to london. instead she kept them here only so that he would come and visit them to meet them at least. she was selfish only for herself. She did not even think that mini has to live without her father

Babitas parents were the main reason. i would have wanted to know more about them as to when they passed away and why they dint support babita. It would clear out so many things. But HS back story had more details about his parents  than Babitas back story had about her parents. Babita wasnt actually given a proper back story other than her married life.

Edited by naq5 - 4 years ago

Also seeing ashok minis bond made me feel bad for her. for her, her father was a stranger whom she only knew through her mothers eyes of how she described him. the hesitation in talking to her own father. This is what the elders of the family did with a child in  their own selfishness and trying to adhere to a certain kind of protocol of being a good wife and bahu. in last episode when mini was telling babita that she never got to stay because of all this with her father all her life, i thought babita would agree to let her talk to ashok for her sake but no at that time it was more important for babita to be a good wife and not burden ashok & to be a good bahu over her childs happiness. It was also the first instance to where i saw babita emotionally blackmailing mini to adhere to her wishes and keep quiet. It also shows how she couldnt use force on anyone but mini so it was mini who always the one who she expected to toe in her line. Im sure if babita wasnt such a mess with the news of ashoks affair and more in her senses she wouldnt have allowed mini to make her leave the house. she would have given her all the reasons that she has to be a good wife and bahu and fight for her husband and made her stay back too.   

Gur, hats off again. Clocking in very shortly cause in this horrid winter weather all my kids got sick and I haven't had a full night's sleep in like a fortnight. One thing I would add is that by society and esp by Lovely, Babita just can't make it right anyways which is why she turned out extra insecure and hesitant. In epi 1, she is taunted by Lovely that she does not groom herself enough which is why Ashok does not care for her. Her dressing up is a sort of answer to that taunt at this point; I do not think she still genuinely wants to seduce Ashok at this point, she just seems too numb. And next thing you know, she is doing it all wrong again, or so Lovely says... And again, she wants to make it right by her. 

Originally posted by: naq5

i think this was ashoks visit after 5 years. before 5 years maybe he did come regularly and was in some tune with minis age and what gifts he could give her. babita did say that little mini waited for the birthday gift ashok sent her

Even if he didn't know her exact age, he must have known she has grown up in 5 years and according to the letter , he sent her gift every year no matter where he was. So did he sent only dolls all those years?  They said he kept contact through only email. No one informed him about Mini growing up?

Beautiful WU of the 2nd & 3rd episode of PB by you, Gur! ❤️