I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My exterior reflected pain, my masked feelings. I gazed over my red lehenga that covered my concealed scars and a broken heart. I smiled bitterly, looking at my face; it was also covered with heavy makeup. Then I ran my fingertips over the expensive neck-piece that adorned my long slender neck; it was beautiful, and it covered those sweat drops that formed due to my nervousness. I was completely covered both externally and internally. My feelings were always hidden under my strong exterior.
Someone knocked on the door frame, bringing me to the real world; after checking myself once again in the mirror, I opened the door to see my cousin standing with a deep frown.
"What happened?" I snapped, irritated with the interruption.
"Your mother asked me to give you a company, and I agreed, she told that you might be getting bored," she says, entering into my bedroom and sat on my bed.
"I had clearly informed her that I don't need anyone here, I can handle me, and for the god sake, I'm 27," I yelled, and I didn't fail to notice that she flinched at my words, that instant I regretted yelling at her.
"Age is not a sign of maturity." She muttered underneath her breath, might be scared to say it loud.
"I'm sorry," I said and sat beside her.
"It is ok, she didn't know that you were dreaming," she giggled.
"Who was dreaming?" I raised my eyebrows challenging her to answer my question.
"Leave that Di, just say about my jiju." She excitedly crossed her legs and sat comfortably.
Jiju !
I smiled at that word. I have always fancied him being jiju for my cousins, immature thoughts I know. I was an immature girl to fall in love with someone who never saw me beyond friendship.
I believed in fairy tales, I believed that my prince charming will come on the white royal horse and will take me to his kingdom. There we will live a happy life with our kids. That was my fantasy, and it remained just as one.
I wanted to fall in love, I wanted to taste true love, and I hated those cheesy couples who keep on oozing out their love on their partners by calling cheesy nicknames.
I wanted a mature love. A mature person, who can understand me more than I can, who can read me without any help, who can see the impurities of my pure heart, who can love the imperfections of my life, who can cherish the memories with me, who can adorn my craziness and clumsiness, who can treat my dreams as his, who can love my family as his own, who can be a big brother to my cousins, who can be a son to my parents, and who can be a life partner to me.
"Shaaarrrooonnn." My cousin, Devika yelled at my ear.
"Huh, what?" I stared at her confused.
"Are you again dreaming?" She winked at me, and I simply nodded a no.
I could say tears had appeared in my eyes threatening to fall when her eyes bulged.
"Don't cry! your makeup will spoil." My heart warmed at her sweet words, and concern.
"Everything will be fine Sharon; it is not that difficult as it sees." She touched my shoulders, and I let loose all tears. I cried hugging her tightly.
"What happened, why are you crying? Are you not happy?" She bombarded me with questions. However, I remained silent.
I wished I could tell her why I am crying.
After few seconds, we left each other, and she wiped my tears offering me a smile.
"Devika... bring Sharon downstairs." My mom yelled from the stairs.
"Coming aunty." She replied and looked at me.
Nodding reluctantly I stood up.
Before we go downstairs she told me to clean my face, and I walked towards my mirror. The same reflection again appeared, but this time, it looked broken, vulnerable. I took a tissue and cleaned my face. I made myself appealing for other's sake, why should I give such a terrible memory.
I turned to face Devika.
"One thing is missing." She commented making me frown.
"And what is that?"
"Your beautiful smile." She formed a smile with her two fingers and showed me.
"Smile wide Sharon..." she took a breath and continued when I smiled, "...your makeup is nothing in front of this smile, you are looking gorgeous."
Then we walked away.
My heartbeat rose with each step I took, I pressed my nails into my palms flesh, I was nervous, I was scared, I was broken, I was sad, I was angry, I was frustrated, I was helpless, and I was vulnerable. All emotions felt like a roller coaster to me. When I was going to put my right foot outside my bedroom, I heard my phone going off. The shirking voice made me jump, I ran to take my phone. The one name I was waiting to see flashed in front of my eyes sending down a shiver through my spine. With shivering hands, I slide the screen and brought it near my ear.
"Hello."
"Thank god you picked the call, Sharon."
"Why did you call me at this time?" I formed words to say.
"I want to say one thing before you get engaged to Shivam." He said in one breath.
"Say it, I'm all hearing." I anticipated many things.
"Iloveyousharon"
He said something that I could not grasp.
"I didn't get it, say it slowly."
He took a deep breath, I could hear it through the line.
"I love you miss Sharon Rai Prakash."
***
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