Originally posted by: kkkloveu
REVIEW FOR STORY-3
In the end i felt the environment becoming too much dull.A nice funny scene would have worked greatly.😳That's why the title. 😛 Humesha khushi kyon? Kabhi kabhi gham bhi milna chahiye.somehow, since i now know who is the writer i missed the true essence of her stories..😳All stories shouldn't be the of the same style...😛 Some variety. 😆 Don't want to get stereotyped that this person writes only this style. 😉
Kya yaar..I thought at least some people will rate anonymously but yahan toh sabne declare kar diya. 😆
GD...about 5g speed. .sorry I wrote on the last day at the last minute you know. Even I am not fully satisfied. I had plans to write before leaving to Mumbai. But some forum fights prevented me from writing. I had many more things in mind. Chodo. ..no excuses. 😛
Originally posted by: KhotaSikaShreya
^ You just love bursting the bubble don't you? 😳 Here I was hoping to get a free siggy and you...*sniffles* 🤣
Actually Snehal I just want to know that since we kinda know who the writers are is it okay if the writers don't rate their own stories? 😆
Originally posted by: gadhadada
DEMONSTAR, I read Ur story and Honestly I m Scared that might be My Feedback did not Accept by U and Hurts U and Ur Buddies so plz First Tell Me that Could I give a Feedback in My Style...😊Hope its Not create any Problem but plz Tell Me or I just gave the Rating...😊
Like Shreya said, no issues. Go ahead. 😊
But I cannot answer any of the (numerous) loopholes as I have myself not read the story a second time. 😆
Story 1
A fast-paced and exciting story. The narration was crisp and engaging. Abhijeet sir was undoubtedly the star of the plot with his brilliant investigation, intelligent observations and nifty moves. Favourite highlights include the questioning of Naresh, finding out the correct bungalow and the final confrontation scene. Purvi had her share of good scenes... loved how she left behind clues, rescued herself and joined Abhijeet sir in the last battle. The other team members excluding Daya and Freddy sirs didn't really have a significant role, though. The ending felt rather rushed. A few questionable points... for example, how come Purvi gives a significant hint to Abhijeet sir on the phone and the kidnapper never notices? How exactly the delegates were kidnapped and the team didn't come to know of it was unclear as well, though I might've missed something. Cool job overall. 👏
Rating - 8/10
Story 2
I won't bother reviewing and rating the pile of heaven-knows-what I scribbled in a few hours and sent without a second read. Pass. 😛
Story 3
A nice, simple and entertaining read. You did some good research in remarkably short time, and that's appreciable. The story was Abhijeet centric for the first half but after the kidnapping scene, it turned into a rather standard case. Nothing wrong as such with that, though. Enjoyed little tidbits like Freddy sir trying to request for Purvi's leave, duo conversation about little Shreya in the car and Abhijeet feeling like resting in the night breeze... gives the story a natural feel. I appreciate the sweet Abhijeet-Purvi conversation a lot. They were both spot on in their roles of senior and junior there. The investigation in the bungalow during the second half was nicely done. I liked the ending with a more realistic feel to it. Daya and Freddy sirs finding the terrorist camp felt rather like a deus-ex-machina. Overall a very good story, especially seeing the situation in which you wrote it. Great work. 👏
Rating - 7.5/10
Originally posted by: DemonStar
Like Shreya said, no issues. Go ahead. 😊
But I cannot answer any of the (numerous) loopholes as I have myself not read the story a second time. 😆
Originally posted by: gadhadada
DEMONSTAR as U already wrote this when DIG briefing the Team that they've perhaps got insiders here already, it already showed that they are not Trusting on their Staff but Neither the DIG nor the Team talk anything abt this matter...😕😕 Nobody raise that we Should examine Each Servant (they are Minimum) or even used their Outgoings or Using BUG is another Good Idea...😊There was a line mentioning all of the employees were searched and nothing was found. 😕 Perhaps got deleted during editing.then Team back in car... I m Surprised that ACP Sir giving the security of such Big Case to Two Inspector rather Two Senior Inspector already inside the car...😕😕Yaar in these case, mostly Seniors should be Place na either experience are Less than DUO or FREDDIE Sir...😊😊its looking Original that if U make a Proper Scene and Apt Reason for using SACHIN and PURVI there...👍🏼He trusts their proven abilities still. I was originally writing duo going there first and leaving due to some reason... but the plot didn't work out. 😛But why PURVI did not Call Her dad or Her House to Her Nurse as well even Ambulance too...😲😲its Completely Unacceptable from a Sharp Cop...She calls her house, but the lines aren't working. 😕 Ye bhi nahi tha? D'oh. 😆A1 Character was Lovely 👏👏 but U make it little Odd after telling about His all Professionalism and He did such Mistakes like coming on camera and DUO informers got the Info abt Him either about FARHAD TAHA as well...Ek camera galti se udhar point hua, in the shadows. He didn't notice. 😆ABHIJEET Sir was Good and I really Liked that till His coming, PURVI did not left the GUESTHOUSE 👏👏 but again how PURVI moved from there... Pedal... again unacceptable na...She came and went by taxi at some distance.PURVI arrested but could U think for a Moment that any Cop who already knew that I m about to Trap entered and taken out the Dagger...😲😲Yaar kum az kum jub Usy Khud malum tha kay Wo Trap ho rahi hay tou aisa krna bilkul Ghalat laga...Boris was still alive when she enters the room, so obviously her instinct is to remove the weapon and try to save him.DIG, DCP, Team does not ask those Police people who arressted PURVI that how they come to know about this Murder...😕😕They tell DCP that they got a tip from the apartment locals. One of the many things I forgot to write in the last scene. 😛then DUO moved inside that Minning Building... BTW how they know that the Top Floor and the Secret way was there as they till not entered inside before that Explosion so what A1 talked to Reception they did not hear na...😕😕This and the other few points mentioned below I was aware of. 😆 I had 5 minutes left to the deadline and elaborating meant I could never finish it... so just thought "Loophole hi sahi, finish toh ho".These are all I remember. Baaki story meko khud yaad nahi. 😛I am so Sorry to U and Ur Buddies and fans if anyone find any Hurt from My Feedback but I did not find that Crisp and Grip which would be DEMONSTAR Benchmark...😊😊I hope U and All take it Casual and dunt Feel anything Personal attack...😊the FB is based only about this Story although I knew U are such Spectacular Writer Forum Proud on them...⭐️⭐️Yes, One Suggestion, Gives Ur Stories Shades/Variations...😊We all know that U are a Tremendous Skills of Writing and We all are waiting for Ur masterpieces but now I m feeling that Ur Stories moved on same track...Really Monotonous way...try to give Some variation as I know U will Do it easily as u have such Skills people (like ME) asking from LORD...⭐️⭐️⭐️U are a True GEM and We (ME) taking so many Lessons of Creative Writings from Urself...⭐️⭐️I m so Sorry again...😊Thank You so Very Much...😳😳Thank you so much for your honest feedback. 🤗 😊 Honestly... I simply completed and sent this entry for the sake of participation. Kaam mein dil na laga ho toh aisa hi hota hai. I do hope in the future I'll be able to do something different and more interesting.
comment:
p_commentcount