Part 2
Seh na pau ab woh
nazdeekiyan,
har taraf dikhti hai barbadiyan,
apni si lagti hai veeraniyan,
de pau bas tumhe ab main khamoshiyan...
It had been a week since Khushi had come to know the reason behind her contract marriage. The heartbreak had been unbearable. And even though she was an emotional wreck, she was Khushi Kumari Gupta, and she would conquer this excruciating pain. Overcome it because a man who she had once loved, meant nothing to her anymore. She would live for the ones who had always loved her without any prejudices, either of her being an orphan or her being a poor girl. She would fight for her family, and his because she would not punish the innocent. Unlike him. She had stayed back at Shantivan. She would for another 3 months, till the 6 months contract got over. Then she had decided to move out of his house and start her life afresh. She had already initiated her dabba service and was on the verge of finalizing a big contract for the same. That would keep her mind occupied and keep her busy so that she wouldn't bump into him time and again. Anyways, she hadn't seen him much in the last week and only once did they have an eye contact. But she had just looked through him, ignoring the pain that she had seen in those caramel orbs. Nothing touched her heart anymore. She was just a machine. But that is just what she thought.
I need to buy the groceries for tomorrow's tiffin. Maybe will got out to the market in the evening. Arnavji left without having breakfast today. Hey Devi Maiyya! Why can't I stop thinking about that man? Why does he affect me still, after all that he has done to me? No! I will not think about him. I have to also go out in the evening with Di. Maybe will try to give her some hints about Shyamji. She needs to be prepared before the blow hits her completely. Would Arnavji have taken his medicines? No! No! No! Stop thinking about him Khushi. Stop thinking damn it!
One evening when Khushi was sitting by the poolside, she felt Arnav come and stand behind her. She was about to walk away, when he had spoken to her. She heard him address her after days of a piercing silence. He told her that he had gathered enough proofs about Shyam, spoken to her family and called them in the evening at Shantivan. Today was the day that would mark the end of evil and he would tell his family about Shyam's deceit. She had been shocked. Shocked that he was actually about to hurt his heart and soul, his Di. He was about to give pain to the one person he truly loved. And why now? She wondered if he had been busy last week only to gather these proofs against Shyamji. Had he told her family everything? She was scared if he told them about their contract marriage too. Oh no! He couldn't. They would be shattered. She needed time to think through this. But she would not speak to him anymore. Would not request him for anything anymore. She will have to think fast before the storm blows over their families, devastating everything in its awake.
Di trusted me? She believed me over Shyamji? Hey Devi Maiyya! I could have saved so much pain to so many people, had I told everyone the truth earlier. Why did I think of Di to be so weak? I know she had been completely in awe of her husband. But why hadn't I seen the love and respect she had for me? And Arnavji had spoken so much on my behalf. He had defended me for every blame that Shyamji tried to put on me. My family also did not side with me as much as he had. I can see the guilt in his eyes every time he looks at me. But it is far too late. Or is it?
The aftermath of the storm was painful to comprehend. Nani, Mami, Akash were shattered to the core. They could not believe their beloved damadji could actually be so slimy. Akash was furious with Payal for hiding the truth from him. It seemed like one man had shattered all the relationships of the Raizada family. A broken Anjali was so difficult to be consoled. Khushi had stayed away from her fearing that her sight would cause more pain and torture to Anjali. Khushi had witnessed the siblings find solace in each other, trying to be a support system for the other. Things were at their worst and now only thing that would happen was for the good. That scum was put behind bars and an infuriated Arnav had made sure that he be served the strictest of punishments.
Today it was so amazing to hug Di and cry on her lap. Even though she herself was broken she understood my hurt, my perplexity, my discomfort. She truly is a very beautiful human being. But why do I feel that she knows that this was the reason behind mine and Arnavji's hasty marriage? The way she asked for forgiveness, I felt she was asking me to forgive her brother. Oh no! If everyone comes to know about our marriage how am I going to be able to leave this house? Things are surely getting complicated. And Arnavji, he is being so distant. I am happy that he is staying away but I feel like this is just a drama before he makes his strike. There is something that surely is going on in his head. I wonder what.
Khushi and Arnav's relationship remained a silent companion through the tough times of the fmaily.. She had taken to her dabba service full time. She would return very late in the nights and leave early in the morning before he could wake up. The silence in their room was suffocating her now. As a person, she was never the one to keep quiet but she could never forget the hurt he had given her. She had been observing him changing over the past few days. The way he started staying up much later than usual so he could see her before they slept. The way he cared for her family and was taking babuji's treatment very seriously. The way he had mellowed down drastically without so much as raising his voice on AMan or HPji. But he had never spoken to her directly. She could sense his hesitance, she could feel his inner turmoil. Was he trying to make up? Was there still hope?
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Arnav was a changed man. He had broken all the walls around him. He would reflect the emotions on the face that he felt deep down. It truly had become a necessity now. He had decided to show the true face of that scum Shyam. Even though he knew his Di would be devastated, he had to do it to save her life and his too. For once he needed to be selfish. Shyam had hurt the two most important people in his life, Khushi & Di, and he would have to pay for it. He gathered all the proofs required and put them forth his family. He could see the shock and anguish in their eyes, but it was necessary. The satisfaction of putting Shyam behind bars had been like nothing else. He had to tend to a broken Di, a devastated family and a hurt Khushi. And he knew he would have to do it soon. He could see that Khushi had made up her mind to move on. He could read that she would leave him after the 6 months contract. He had 3 months... and he would win her back!
I wish I had used my brain a little when I married Khushi forcibly! Why did I believe in Shyam's words? And even after marriage she kept desperately asking me the reason for our marriage, and I never realized that if Shyam really was dating her she would have known it. Damn it! I have been such a fool. My anger had blinded me to such an extent that I lost the difference between right and wrong. I hurt Khushi just like Shyam. How does it make me any different from him? Why did I not cross-check what Shyam had said before acting so hastily? My anger has ruined my life, my happiness, my Khushi! But I will win her back. I have to win her back. Now she is my priority. I have freed Di from the evil clutches of Shyam. Now she has to take charge of her life and I will of mine.
Arnav had seen his distressed family. He had seen what Shyam had done to them. But at this moment all that mattered to him was Khushi. She had been supporting her family through these tough time. She had been the pillar of strength throughout. How did she do this when she herself was so broken he wondered? But he did not miss the lost sparkle in her eyes. The way she averted her gaze from him. The way she stiffened when he would be around. These days he observed everything about her. He had witnessed the heart wrenching conversation between his Di and Khushi. These two women were actually much more stronger than him. He had seen the tears of happiness in her eyes when Di had hugged her and asked for forgiveness. He had understood in an instance that Di had figured out the reason of his hasty marriage to Khushi. Arnav would have to act fast.
She looks so innocent while sleeping. She is innocent damn it! I was the one who doubted her. I know she has been running away from me. Getting up early. Sleeping late. But she does not know that I barely have caught a wink of sleep since the truth was revealed. I love looking at her beautiful face when she sleeps snoring lightly. Love the hopeful look in her eyes at the beginning of each day. I may not have spoken a word to her but she has suddenly become deaf to my heart too. She can no more hear what it has to say. I will change that. Make her believe in dreams again. Make her believe in love again. Make her believe in me again. I will have to tell her what I feel about her. I want her to be angry at me. I want her to yell. I want her to push me, argue with me, make me beg for forgiveness. I want her to vent out all her sorrows. I want her to feel again. Feel the hurt, the pain. And with that I want her to feel my love for her that overwhelms my heart.
As Arnav took charge of the work that had been pending for a while. He had immersed himself in revealing Shyam's dirty tricks from the beginning of posing as an unmarried man to living in Gupta House. He also had an inclining that he had got something to do with Khushi's babuji's illness. The way babuji reacted when around Shyam was enough to aggravate his suspicions. Now that the Shyam chapter was over, he had made up his mind to make every possible attempt to make Khushi stay with him forever. He had almost 3 months and that much was enough time to make her realize the love that he felt for her from the first time they met. Life had played a cruel joke on him. The pain and agony of his childhood was replaced by the love that he felt for Khushi. And then one night changed it back to pain and agony again. He had seen her notice him for the past few days. She looked at him as if she wanted him to talk to her. The silence seemed to be killing her as much as it stabbed at him. This had given him a slightest ray of hope. Yes, there was still hope.
Har pal jo ki thi
gusthakiyan,
dard se sisakti woh kurbaniyan,
khushi ki hai bas parchaiyan,
kanon mein chubhti hai khamoshiyan...
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Life was getting back to normal at Shantivan. Anjali had decided to join AR Designs to occupy her mind and decided to do something fruitful of her life. She had an added responsibility of her baby. And Shyam's deceit was not worth spending a lifetime crying over it. She had abandoned all pooja's and vrat's. They did not serve any purpose. But she kept her faith in God, because whatever he did, he did it for her good. And looking at a positive Anjali, the whole family had soon resumed to their prior life. Yet all of them had noticed the glum faces of Arnav and Khushi. They had seen both of them trying hard to pretend that everything was normal between them. Anjali had guessed what the reason could be and she had shared it with Nani and Akash. Anjali had seen a lifeless Khushi immersing herself in work to forget all the pain she was hiding. Who better could understand Khushi than her? But she had also seen her chotte steal glances at Khushi during breakfasts and dinners. She had noticed the drastic change in his temper and attitude after the Shyam fiasco. She has also seen Khushi's reactions to his slightest touch, or even his presence around her. They both reacted to each other like magnets. This had given her hope. Yes definitely there was hope.
LIFE GOES ON'.by Khushi
A week now has gone by'.
Once bitten, I am surely twice shy.
Love that once was, now doesn't live here -
But go on I must, I have to persevere,
For dear ones, both mine and his;
I cannot let them fall into this abyss.
Three months more, and then I shall be free,
Till then, keep on I must ' my family and his to oversee.
Harden my heart, I surely must
Else, with pain, my heart will burst.
Our gazes meet, I dare show no emotion
Molten eyes ' how he hurts, needing absolution.
I look through him, turning a blind eye -
Going through the motions, not even able to cry
Never thinking of him - but no, I cannot lie..
He's in my thoughts, forever entrenched, I ask why-
Random cares, about him, in my heart reside.
Stop I must, this worry that I cannot hide.
Work is the best medicine, along with time
Will I get over him.. for my love wasn't a crime'.
An evening came, whilst by the poolside I sat
His voice I heard, after an eon of silence had passed.
His plans he shared ' for, to our family, we must now reveal
That the one who'd endeared himself to all ' was in truth, a heel
Deceiving and cheating, the ones he claimed to love
He had hurt one and all, nothing can save him now.
Stunned I sit, at the pain it will cause
The hurt, would be unbearable without pause
For him, for all'. and mainly for her, his precious Di
For things to be set right, he had been busy.
This surely is the calm before the storm-
I need to think, a plan I must form'
The truth once known, will certainly shatter,
Hearts and relations- I cannot let them scatter.
Trust when freely given, is truly a gift
And can help to heal every single rift.
Di's faith in me ' shows her love and her respect
Though hurt beyond belief, yet me, she wouldn't hate.
He'he protected me, do I dare believe?
Standing up for me, is what I feel, just relief?
What now do I read in those eyes caramel?
As shattered as I - is he in the very same hell?
One false man had woven a web so intricate-
Almost impossible to untangle, even for fate.
The pain, the ruin, the many knots of deceit;
Slowly, unraveling truths, 'tis no mean feat.
The worst now, has been put forever to rest -
Yet I stay away from Di, seeing me, hurt her lest.
In each other, the siblings, their comfort, must find
Ties strengthened, forever will they bind.
Life moves on - once again, a surprise she turned out to be
Her strength, her discerning eye, her courage - his Di
Having sensed my pain and his, she knows now the reason true
For our wedding, hasty and forced; till now none had a clue.
Her need for pardon- for absolution ' is it for her?
Or in a much bigger way, for her little brother?
Oh ' this can't happen, we need to clearly sort things out,
He is distant now, glad I am- but wonder what he's about.
Silences speak ' to me now, they are a close friend
It feels almost like the beginning'. of the end'
Time moving anon' changes being made
I watch'in silence'.how hurt doesn't fade
How can I forget ever'.this unbearable pain'
Yet to go on'.from caring, I must refrain.
Work takes me out early and brings me home late
Yet, until I sleep, to watch for me ' he does wait..
No words I hear, his eyes, his deeds ' they yet speak
Our hearts still beat ' but what is it they seek?
His concern for my family, how he shows his care
A change in him I sense ' is that hesitation, a turmoil there?
No more anger can I see ' is he perhaps, asking me to forgive?
Hope flutters' my heart, it beats, again wanting to live'.
HOPE'. by Arnav
Of control, of fear, of feeling, of having to fall.
In life, when we are down, we learn to stand,
With or without a helping hand.
The truth of the evil, that dirty villain -
I must reveal, regardless of her pain.
I need to do this, to hurt her deep
So that she can break down and weep;
For only then can she rise over this tragedy,
And be strong and wise, forever with her family.
My two precious ones' he hurt them both,
That terrible man ' whom I simply loathe.
The law has put him away forever, never again to return,
Nor more trouble for any, will he ever churn.
Now to tend my two angels, strive I must
Di, I know, will survive- its HER, to whom I've been unjust,
I must help, I must mend every fence broken,
Although my deeds have left no doors open.
I see her distant, I know she wants to leave
Win her back I must, I have a three month reprieve.
Regrets for letting my anger rule.
Regrets for being such an utter fool.
Regrets for ruining a most precious life,
Of none other than my beloved wife.
Regrets for every bitter word and deed,
Regrets for not paying her truths any heed.
Regrets for not making her my priority,
For making her happiness a travesty.
'Tis time now, to change, to be a deserving man
Hoping against hope, to win her back, I'll do all that I can.
I hear only silence, where once there were tinkling words,
I see her eyes, she looks away, like a trapped bird.
A pillar of strength all along for her family,
All alone, by herself, supported them had she.
A light, delicate, tender rose that just cannot bloom
Instead seems sunk always in melancholic gloom.
Her sparkle lost, her eyes blank ' I simply cannot bear
Her tears, her hugs all for Di ' it doesn't seem fair
The truth of our marriage, known to Di now
I must change, I must act fast, to keep Khushi somehow.
Her innocence in sleep and whilst awake,
I truly was a fool to think she was fake.
She can barely stand me, always running away-
Her beautiful face, at the start and end of every day,
I dare not sleep lest, this sight, I should miss.
To feel the beats of our hearts ' she can never then leave
I need her words, her anger and that sweet passion
The pushing, the yelling, every bit of her aggravation.
To feel again, to hurt again and so on to love
She is my hope, my blessing from heaven above.
I need her, in my life, in my dreams, always
And will try hard to make her again believe
Slowly as life goes on, I see myriad changes
In me, my home and in life's blank pages
A space full of pain and anger, of betrayal and distrust,
Now is filled with feelings of love so robust,
Every cruelty vanishes, every pain disappears,
When she looks at me, with some hope and fewer fears.
The silences, the shadows ' do they hurt her as much as me?
My empty heart then fills, slowly with a tendril of hope'maybe'.
MInts, I have MORE...will update tomorrow
😆
CONTDD on PAGE 18 (as promised)
"she" spoke to me😆
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