Had I not lost too much already that today even he decided to walk out on me. I just wanted one answer and that was "What was my mistake, Where had I failed him,? Had I not been beside him when he needed me, had I not fought with him when the adversity struck us had I not been beside him when the whole world turned our back on us then where had I not gone wrong? I had been pitied by people for falling in love with him and I always looked down upon them and was proud that I had loved him but today he failed me, he failed my love but if he thought I would give up he was wrong, I would get him back I would ask him what I wanted to I would make him a part of my life I would not give up and that was the ultimate motto of my life the life Geet Singh Khurana.
I walked down the road to his house to get my answers from him. I needed them and I needed him in my life. I could think of living without food and water for a day or two but without him..i needed him every second of my life, why "Agar insaan apne dil ke dhadkan ke bina jee sakta hai, toh main jee sakti hoon , agar insaan apne saanson lena bhool sakta hai toh main jee sakti hoon, agar insaan bina apni aatma ke bina jee sakta hai toh mujhe bata de main shayad jee loon par agar nahi toh main bhi unke bina nahi jee sakti, who saari duniya ke liye sirf mere Pati hain par mere liye who meri duniya hain merei zinadagi hain meri bandagi hain meri har saans hain aur mere jeene ka maksat hain."
As I walked down the road the memories of our love laughter and fights flashed before me as if a movie had started to play on its own accord.
**********************************Flashback*************************************
3 Years ago
It was raining heavily and I was running late for college. I had my exam..last exam ahh..i was on cloud nine..anyone would be after this I was a Post Graduate'that sounded so good didn't it'I had fulfilled my dream I had done my M.S and I was successfully going to finish it.
I ran along the slippery roads trying to avoid the pool of water and then I there was these huge..i mean like these big cars that kept splashing water on all pedetsrians. B***** M**** why could they never think of the pedestrians and drive carefully.
Khair chaddo mujhe kya na in logon ne kabhi sudharna hai aur nan a kuch aur badlne wala hai..
Main toh lo apni bak bak main apna introduction dena he bhool gayi. Main..Hmm let me think I am cool hot sexy Geet handa'Ok hang in there those adjectives are used by my buddies..they are pretty crazy but I love them.
Oh yes coming to exams and rains I love rains and exams I think I like them too.. Yes I am crazy..Thts me
Crazy loving someone who loves to talk , dance smile and full of life. I talk to myself so much people think I am mad and they are not wrong I am pretty mad.
So here I was going in hurry to college and one these big car guys drove like a gush of wind splashed water all over and there I was wet like a fish.
I ran over to the car which was speeding away as he was not ready to stop I picked up a stone and hurled it right over to the car and bingo it hit the car and the car halted abruptly and I too slowed down my gait too, smirking.
And there I saw him dressed in a black office attire staring at me with his eyes spitting fire even with the rage that flowed in them I couldn't help but stare into those big black brown eyes that seemed to have so much depth in them.
He walked towards me and spoke through gritted teeth ," can I know what was that madam,"
It was his gruff voice that brought me out of my reverie.
I retorted back ," Excuse me it was you who was driving along the road as if u own them and look at me what u did,"
It was then he scanned me from top to bottom and seemed to notice that I was wet.
He said non chalantly , U are wet," I was enraged'What did he mean I was wet. Didn't he know that.
"Excuse me, did I hear u right, u just told me I was wet wow that was news..now Mr. Who ever u are, I am not wet," he shot an eyebrow up ,I added as quickly as possible ," I was being splashed water onto by your not so great driving,".
He looked at me for a sec and then at the car and then turned to me and opened his purse and shoved some money into my hand.
"Oye hello what was that,"I screamed.
" You want more money?," Fine here u go and he shoved some more money into my hands and started to walk away.
"Do u have any manners,"
Excuse me madam,"
"Yes u heard me right, there is something asked for being pardoned when u make a mistake."
He again looked at me as if I had spoken in Hebrew and Latin. He thought for a sec. he was definitely SLOW.
"Sorry, now can I go," I was furious.
I walked past him and took another stone and broke the tail lights.
He looked at me enraged. Ah finally some reaction.
"What was that?" He barked on top of his voice.
I mumbled "Sorry," shoved the money back into his hands and walked past him without giving him a chance to think.
************************************************************************************
I heard the honk of a car and that was when I realized I was living in the past.
Yes that was my first meeting with him, with my husband. I didn't know when I fell in love with him but I cherished each moment I had spent with him in those three years.
************************** Flashback****************************
2.5 years back, about six months after that incident
One thing that I was scared of was darkness. I don't know why but it would always make me feel that something had gone missing from my life. It was one such day that I was walking down the road back from office alone. It was late into the night and I was lost in my thoughts. I had finished my course and I was working, no I was heading a group of over 10 people, the company had provided me with every amenity that I could desire for but it could not give me one thing that I craved for LOVE.
I was an orphan brought up in an orphanage. It was my scholarship that had helped me study. My friends, buddies had all moved into different spheres of life some were married, some had kids too but I could never move ahead till I had a name for myself in the society. I could not let anybody else suffer because of me.
The winds had picked up speed and the rain threatened to fall any moment. I tried walking faster when suddenly a jeep whiffed past me and stopped at some distance. I ignored it and increased my pace . I was crossing the jeep when someone called out," Hey sexy want a lift,"
I ignored the comment and walked ahead. One of them came right behind me and said ," Come on baby, I will give u a lift comfortably I just want some time with you, how about that," I attempted to slap him but he held my wrist and called to his other mates ," Yaar yeh to patakka hai."
I gulped in fear as I saw three more guys approaching towards me. I tried moving but I was caught in between them. One of the pulled away my duppata and was fondling with it.
I covered my chest with my hand and moved to one side and tried to run away. I saw a small opening between the circle they had formed and I slipped out through that.
But they were fast one of the caught my arm and pulled me furiously in turn ripping my sleeve. I was horrified at that. I moved back and slammed into a nearby tree. The guy came and kissed me on my lips biting my lips frivolously making them bleed and tasting the blood like he was enjoying it. I tried moving but he had caught my hands tightly in his arms. Tears flowed down my eyes at the thought of the way my life was gonna end coz I had decided if they touched me I would not hesitate to kill myself.
It was then I heard a honk of a car and a car with glazing headlights stopped a feet from us. I thanked the almighty and moved away as the guy's hold on me had weakened coz of the car.
A man came out and told them to move away. I recollect that there was some kind of fight though its blurred and I was standing in the corner crying. I then felt a hand on my shoulder and I covered my chest again with my hand. He put the duppatta on my chest and I looked up to see a tall man looking at me with a worrisome face.
I smiled at him through my tears and tried to utter a thankyou but the words were muffled due to my tears. He patted my shoulder and I don't know why but I buried myself into his chest to let out my fear.he held on to me patting my back and letting me soak his shirt. I spoke through the tears "Mujhe laga aaj.."
"Shhh..kuch nahi hua aapka ghar,"
"main XXX mein rehti hoon,"
"Chaliye main aapko ghar chod deta hoon," I nodded and let him go. He lead me to the car and I sat in. I put my head on the window and closed my eyes.
After what seemed like seconds he announced that we had reached my house.
I looked out to see that there was no current in the house. My face must have given away something coz he immediately asked ," Kya hua,"
"who light..andhera.."
"aapko andhere se dar lagta hai, haina,"
I nodded my head. He thought for a moment and then he said ," Aap aaj mere ghar ruk jayie, kal subah aa jayega,"
"Par,"
"aapko mujh par vishwaas hai na,"
I don't know why but even then I trusted him blindly and nodded my head. I was too terrified by the events of past few minutes to step into a house of darkness.
He drove along the roads and we stopped in front of a large mansion. My eyes popped out seeing something so huge.
Chaliye andar. I nodded and followed him.
It was inside the brightly lit house that my fears subsided and then I turned to look at my savior.
Tum???
Tum???
I fumbled he was the same man I had harmed that day who had saved me today..
"I am sorry us din ke liye," I looked down and tried to find a right place to look.
He looked angry and said "tumne," in a loud gruff voice. I flinched in fear.
I saw him and saw that his eyes were closed as if trying to think of something.
"Jo hua usme shaayad galti meri bhi thi, I am sorry." He said
I smiled at him the brightest smile I could and brought my hand forward ," Hi I am geet..Geet handa, I am sorry about that day..friends?"
He looked at me for a sec and then smiled the smallest smile I had seen on a human being.
He nodded his head and shook hands"Maan' Maan Singh Khurana". A current went through me when his skin made contact with mine.
I moved and the duppata moved too and that's when I saw my arms which was bleeding and had a torn sleeve. I looked up at him and he was staring at the blood.
"who," before I could finish the sentence I heard him "Nakul fisrt aid box lekar aao'mohan dr ko balao aur ramu kaka jaakar kuch kapde lekar aao memsahaab ke liye," I looked at him with eyes full of tears. For the first time in 28 years had someone did so much for me. To me it seemed the whole was running hither wither just to make me comfortable. Mean while maan dragged me to a chair and very patiently removed the dangling torn piece of my suit.
Nakul brought the first aid box whose memory was blurred all I could see his eyes and him, the way his hands picked up cotton, the way he was examining the wound, the way he was checking out the arm for more injuries. When he applied the cotton dabbed in Dettol on my arm I flinched and he immediately blew on it asking me if I was fine. I nodded. He continued the work handling me as if I was a doll and would break with his touch. In no time I could see a doctor who just prescribed me some pills for pain and bid us good bye.
It was then maan ordered me to change and go to sleep. I looked at him confused. He raised his eyebrows questioning me. I whispered ," Mujhe bhook lagi hai,"
And he laughed, laughed like I had never seen him. He patted my head like I was kid and ordered the food to be set while he took me to a room and told me to change.I looked at him terrified.
"Main saath waale kamre mein hoon, kahin nahi jaa raha hoon, pakka," he said taking my hand in his. But an unknown fear gripped me thinking about leaving his hand. He then walked into my room and shoved me into the bathroom Main tumse baatein karta rahoonga ab theek hai
I nodded and took a pink suit that he had handed me to change into.
When I came out I saw he had changed into black pyjamas and a black t-shirt.
It was the end of a fearful night and new beginning for us.
*********************Flashback ends***********************
I was near his house now. It had been over a month since I last stepped into it. That night..i don't know if what happened was right or not but I know it was what I wanted and I would stick to my decision whatever may happen. I then remembered the incidents that lead me to be standing here in front of his house and him not even being aware of it.
*************************Flashback***********************************
Note: It now keeps moving random pace..so its more of description than any solid scenes
It was a beautiful dinner. No there was nothing special about the meal but to me it was special coz I had shared it with him. That night I slept with no worries. For the first time I knew someone would look after me I do not know how but he made me feel wanted and loved.
The morning rays touched my face and I stretched my arms, opening my eyes taking in slowly the beauty of the morning sun that filtered into the room through the curtains that hung covered the window. I got up, sat and sent a small prayer to god and thnked him for all his blessings. I opened my eyes to find HIM standing there giving me a warm smile.
"Good morning Mishti,"
"Good Morning," I smiled removed the covers and started to get up when the sudden realization dawned upon me, he called me mishti and I was geet.
"Excuse me," I called out to him to make my doubts clear. He turned to look at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Yes Mishti," I was so frustrated he had forgotten my name in a few hours. I felt so empty as if someone had robbed me of my dreams. He had someone in his life called "Mishti," and she was so much a part of him that he could never see beyond her and even in me he was searching for her.Tears flooded my eyes. Before I could utter a single word, I saw him sitting beside me.
'Kya hua Mishti, You are in pain, Main Dr.." he asked with concern lacing his voice.
I shook my head. "You are not in pain," I shook my head.
"Aap ko mera naam bhi yaad nahi hai," I managed to blurt out after his continuous coaxing me into divulge into what was hurting me.
"Kya Matlab,"
"Mera naam geet hai, aur aap mujhe Mishti.." I couldn't say more. My sobs choked my voice. He put his arms around me and enveloped me into hug.
"Tum such mein bilkul paagal ho," he laughed.
I cringed at that. "Are baba mujhe pata hai ki tum geet ho maine tumhara naya naam rakha hai..mishti..dost itna toh kar sakte hain na,"
I pulled out of the hug and nodded to his question.
"Are baba aaj subah mein tumhare kamre mein aaya tha, aur tum jis tarah bachho ke jaise so rahi thi, tum inti sweet lag rahi thi ki maine tumhe naya naam de diya, tumhe pasand nahi aaya,"he asked me smiling.
I blushed hearing that and hid my face in his chest again. He quietly let me be there holding me in his arms. The tears that had been stopped started to fall again and soak his shirt.
He pulled me out again and asked me why was I crying.
"Pata hai main kitna dar gayi thi'mujhe laga ke koi.." I realized what I was saying and didn't complete my sentence.
"Kya laga," he probed. I shook my head and looked down. "Baad mein,"
"pakka," I nodded my head. Then I pointed to his chest. He looked at me questiongly.
"can I hug u one more time," He smiled and stretched his arms and I lovingly made myself comfortable there. It was like I belonged there even when I didn't know anything about him.
That was my first day. I did tell him what troubled me later and he teased me about it whole day and I would blush red at his comments.
The friendship soon became more than just that. We used to meet up any day which we could afford to from take out from our busy schedules. I remember I used to call him for any small achievement I had or moment I had free.
Sometimes our calls would last only for few seconds and sometimes we would talk the whole nights and sometimes even late into the mornings and then getting late for work.
I don't know when exactly when I fell in love with him but his declaration of love and his possessiveness over me was evident even in the early days of our relationship.
I still remember that party that we had attended together.
***************************** 2 months after that incident************************
It was one of the business party that I had been called to attend. Though I was reluctant to go first but when I talked to him and he said that he had been invited too I decided I would go. It was days since I had met him'to be precise 2 days 12 hrs 36 min after which I would meet him according to the party schedule. I know it was not that long but to me it was like eons.
I reached there at the exact time given for the party as I wanted to be with HIM as long as possible. But I was disappointed he was late. I shrugged my shoulders and walked in only to be greeted by large crowd congratulating me on the success of my company. I smiled and talked but my eyes were fixed on the door waiting for him to come.
The party was in full swing and many of the couples were in the stage swaying and dancing to the music. I had worn a saree for him but he didn't even come. I was feeling so lost in that crowd. A guy from office , Rahul,came and asked me for dance and I couldn't refuse. He took my hand and kept his one hand on my waist and we swayed to the music slowly. I cringed at being so near to him but I had no option.
The lights were dimmed and I could just make out they guys frame against me. I had lost all hope that HE would come. The music changed and I wanted to move away but he asked me to stay back for one more dance and I couldn't say no to him. In between the dance I felt a sudden pull and being rudely pulled away by my arms. I lost my balance and found myself against a strong chest and arms holding me from my waist.
I knew who it was the moment I could inhale his fragrance. I was so happy. I straightened myself and looked up at him smiling. But his eyes were emitting fire and he was so angry.
I was confused. Wasn't I the one who was supposed to be angry. It was he was late and I had been waiting. I tried to move away but he held me tighter crushing my soft body against his hard one. For a minute my breath constricted in my throat due to his closesness.
"Kyun mujse door ja rahi ho, uske saath oh bade maze se dance kar rahi thi.."
"Kya,"
"Uski himmat kasi hui tumhe choone ke..yeh haq sirf mujhe hai..Maan Singh Khurana ko'aaj toh usne tumhe choo liya par agar doobara kisi ne choone ke koshish kit u main.. toh main uske haath tod doonga..haan,"
I chuckled at his possessive nature. He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Maan hum sirf dance kar rahe the who bhi sirf isliye ki aap nahi aaye the.."
"To kya hua..main hoon ya nahi..tumhe dekhna ya choona ka haq sirf mera hai.. tumhe koi aur chue mujse bardaasht nahi hota..aur usne tumhe.." he held my waist more tightly slightly moving his fingers along it as if to make sure that there was no place on my waist that rahul had touched remained under his influence. His constant grazing of fingers made shivers run down my spine. "Yahaan chua tha..yeh.."
I lost all track of where we were and I rised on my toes and give him a quick peck on his cheeks. He looked at me with those dark eyes pulling me closer if that was possible letting not the air pass in between us.
"tumhe pata hai tum aaj kaisi lag rahi ho," he whispered huskily into my ear.I shook my head in denial.
"Bilkul ek pari ki tarah mera bas chale toh main tumhe abhi sabke saamne se utha ke le jaaon," he came closer to my ear.
"Toh le jaao saari duniya se chupa ke apne saath maine kab mana kiya hai,"I replied back shyly.
He looked at me with eyes full of love, desire, passion and a plea.
I nodded my head but instead of taking me away he twirled me around my back resting against his chest.
Abhi nahi..abhi main sirf tumhe apni bahoon mein mehssos karna chata hai.
We danced to music and swayed as if the two pieces of puzzle were put together. Lost in his eyes I lost count of the number of tracks that changed. All that I was aware was his arms around me and his scent that drove me to a level of insanity.
After what seemed to be like seconds the lights were put on and we found that the whole crowd was staring at us in wonder. I shied and tried to move away but he held my hand tighter.
He then dragged me along with him towards the exit when he was stopped by his business associates.
"Hello Mr. khurana what a pleasure to see you here,"
"Hello Mr. Patel,"
"Ah I see a lovely lady seems to have drawn your attention," He gave a murderous look to his client who was staring at me.
"Yes the lady here is My fianc, we will be getting married soon," he stated and with a voice louder than it was needed.
I looked at him dumbstruck and so did the whole crowd. Suddenly I could feel thousands of pairs of eyes staring at me. He excused himself without offering any further explanation and dragged me along. I was shocked and confused. Why did he make such a statement? I needed to know the reason before I could make any decision. I didn't want a relationship coz of pity or any other feeling the only feeling that I wanted my relationship to be built upon was love.
We reached the car and he opened the passenger seat for me and I got in without making a fuss and he got in and we drove off. I was quite and he didn't make an attempt to break the silence.i didn't look at him. I was gazing out of the window with tears rolling down my eyes.
After a few minutes silence he spoke ," Geet tumhe mere decision se koi problem toh nahi hai na," I didn't reposnd to that.after he few seconds of silence he reapeated the qs again.
"Appne yeh decision kyun liya..mujhe sirf iski wajah bata dijiye,"
He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and asked me didn't I know the reason. I shook my head in denial. He let out a long breath and kept driving quietly. I noticed this was not the route to either of the houses but I didn't ask him where he was taking me. I trusted him more than anyone.
After few minutes of driving he stopped at a deserted spot and I noticed it was a cliff. I knew it was somewhere on the outskirts of Delhi but I had never come here before.
He got out and came to my side opened the door for me and held his hand out to me to come out. I put my hand in his and stepped out. He held my hand and took me till the edge of the cliff.
When we reached the end of the cliff he left my hand and facing the city he stepped dangerously close to the edge. My heart was in my mouth but I was too numb to react at that moment.
He asked "Geet tumhe yahaan se kya dikhta hai,"
I saw till where my eyes could travel and I could see the water down and darkness all around.
"Mujhe toh yahaan se sirf gehra paani aur andhera dikhta hai,"
"Bilkul theek kaha geet,"
He then turned me around facing the car and asked me what I saw now. His questions were not making any sense to me but I did what he was asking me to.
"Yahaan se toh mujhe roshni dikh rahi hai..aisa lag raha hai jaise andhera kabhi tha he nahi aur roshni ne andhera mita diya hai," He nodded.
"Pata hai geet, meri zindagi bhi kuch aisi hi thi,"
I looked at him dumbfounded; trying to figure out where was this conversation leading to.
"Main bhi ek aisi zindagi jeer aha tha jahan main itni unchaai par tha ki koi mujhe chub hi nahi sakta tha par mere Charon ur aisa andhera tha ki door tak koi roshni nahi thi..maine apne aap ko duniya se yoon kaat rakha tha ki chah kar bhi koi khushi meri zindagi mein dastak nahi deti thi, aur phir ek din tum meri zindagi mein aayi," he turned to look at me. His eyes were moist but full of love for me.
"Aur tum meri zindagi mein ek nayi subah ban kar aayi, tumne aate he meri zindagi ke saare kale saayon ko apni roshni se chaaat diya aur aaj aisa lagta hai ki tumein main tab se jaanta hoon jab se maine khud ko jaana hai," The tears spilled down his eyes.
I touched his face to wipe of the tears but he held my hands and kissed my palms and shook his head.
His next step took me by surprise,he went down on his knees and drew out a ring that he was wearing and holding it in his hand in front of me he said ," Main maan singh khurana aaj is duniya ke same yeh elaan karta hoon ki main tumse pyaar karta hoon, Geet kya tum is bande ki zindagi main humesha ek roshni ban kar rehaoogi aur badle mein main waada karta hoon ki jab tak is sharer mein saansein hain tumhare upar ek aanch nahi aayegi aur na hi tumahri aankhon se kabhi koi aanson chalkega, Geet kya tum mujhe zindagi bhar jheelogi..Kya tum mujhe apna jeevan saathi banoogi..?"
I was stunned and could do nothing more than nodding my head and put my hand in front. He quietly slipped the finger onto my hand and my eyes were full of tears.
He got up and enveloped me into a hug. I didn't attempt to wipe those tears off my eyes this time and he let me cry. After a while he asked me "Geet rona tumhara hobby hai kya?"
I looked up at him.
"Aur kya'waise tum shaadi ke baad bhi agar itna rogei to main abhi si apni liye thodi aur shirts kharred loon," pointing at his white shirt that was stained with my tears and mascara.
I hit him and rested my head against his chest once again..
*********************** ******** Flash back ends*************************************
I touched the ring that he had given me that day. I had never removed it. It had become my engagement ring. He had asked me tons of times to get a new ring that would look better but to me that simple band was more precious than any other ornament that he had given me except my mangulsutra that adorned my neck at all times. I had never removed it since the day I got married to him. It was not only a sign of y being married but to me it also signified the love, trust we shared and also that he was with me in thick and thin of life.
He dropped me home that night but now our relationship had changed. I never feared to call him. He was my Fianc. I was so proud of that he would laugh at my behavior but never questioned me or stopped me from telling people that I was his fianc.
We were married within next 4 months. It was 24 December the day we had officially become husband and wife. I had accepted him as my soul mate the day he proposed to me but to the world that day was tagged as our wedding day.
We had lived a blissful life. He knew everything about me, my being an orphan my livelihood and other details that a husband would want to know. I never hesitated in sharing any details of my life with him. We had no secrets between us. His family, or Dadima and his sister who was his family loved me like a daughter and sister that i never had. She never questioned me but always showered me with love that I had missed in past 28 years of my life.
He never impeded me in the growth of my career. He always stood by me whatever may happen. The love between us never diminished but it multiplied tenfold over the months. Not only love, but my respect for him as my husband, as a lover, as a friend knew no bounds. He was not only the best life partner I could ask for but also the best son a mother would pray for.
************************Flashback*******************
About a year after marriage
I had seen him as a friend,fiance as loevr but as a business man I had never seen a side of him that I didn't even know existed, until the day I happened to land up land up at his office .I had a holiday and decided to hand over the lunch that I had made. Yes I knew how to cook he loved my culinary skills but since I was working he never asked me to make the meals at home but I loved cooking for him whenever I got a chance.
I was shocked when I entered his cabin. He was surrounded by number of people and all of them stood there with their heads bowed down and I could hear a strong gruff male voice emitting from between them. I went in closer to see that it was my husband who oozed so much authority that everybody was scared. He saw me and his one word " Leave" and all of them stuttered like they had heard a ghost. I was amazed I didn't know a man whom I had been dominating past so many months could command this much authority.
I went near him and handed over the luch still dazed to say anything. We had the lunch together but I was silent. He noticed it and at the end of the lunch he asked me ,"Geet kya baat hai,"
"Main kuch soch rahin hoon,"
"Kya mujhe who janana ka haq hai," I nodded my head silently. He waited silently for my response and I thought for a moment before I spoke up.
"Aap ghar pe har marzi meri kyun chalne dete ho," I asked as softly as I could.
"Kya matlab," He sounded confused.
"Nahin main jab andar aayi toh maine dekha ki aap kis tarah se sab se kaam karva rahe the, aur ap kis tarah se authority se.."
"Geet simple si baat hai..yeh mera office hai aur who humara ghar, mujhe accha lagta hai ki mere par bhi koi hokum chala sakta hai..har waqt main decision le lekar thak jaata hoon na," he smiled at me.
"Par maine toh kitni baar kitne galat decision bhi liye hain, aapko pata toh lag gaya hoga ki main galat thi phir aapne roka kyun nahi," I asked with resentment in my voice. I had taken the decision of buying new property and it was later I realized that it was such a loss. I wanted to buy a property in our joint name.
"Haan mujhe pata tha, aur thoda sa loss bhi hua par tumhe samajh aaya ki agli baar kya karna hai..aur jab main nahi rahoonga," I kept a hand on his lips before he could complete his sentence and shook my head in negative. The thought of living without him made my eyes swell with tears.
"maine toh bas aise he.." he said wiping my tears. I hugged him I was scared. The fear of losing him had killed me. I wanted to live with him. I had lived alone long enough and if again I was pushed into that life I don't know if I could live sane.
He hugged me back. I broked out of the hug after few moments and wiped my tears ready to leave.
Before I got up I said ," waada kijiye aap aisi baatein dubara nahi karenge." " Waada raha" I nodded my head and got up and collected the things and was at the door when he called out "geet tum kuch meetha toh layi nahi thi khan eke saath," I slapped my forehead.
"Agli baar le aaongi who jaldi jaldi mein," He closed the distance between us and was almost next to me.
"Mujhe toh abhi chahiye," I looked at him questioningly and his eyes travelled to my lips.
I knew what he meant. I blushed and looked down.
He waited I looked up at him and I saw him waiting for my approval. I nodded my head and his lips closed upon mine. The kiss that started off as soft turned passionate and desiring in a few moments. He sucked on my lower lip and made an entry into my mouth exploring each and every corner of it. His hands roamed on my back. One hand slipped into hair while the other played havoc on my senses with his continuous ministrations on my bare back and arms. I pulled him closer slipping my hand into his hair .I let out a small moan enjoying the confusion that his touch created on my body. We separated after what seemed like seconds due to lack of air and brought our foreheads together touching each other. I was red and he was smiling.
I left as soon as I could before things became out of control for either of his. Before I left he said "Mujhe raat ko bhi yeh sweet mil sakti hai," with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
**************************Flashback ends*********************
I still reminiscence about those old days when there was no confusion or difference of opinion between us. It was our second wedding anniversary when the differences had started seeping in.
*************************************Flashback*******************************
After the second year anniversary party'
I had just come out of the bathroom and changed into my night dress.
"Geet," He called out to me. I saw he was standing in the balcony staring out into the oblivion. He still hadn't changed.
I walked up to him keeping the sari that I had put off on the chair.
I stood next to him and kept my hand on his that was resting on the railing. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Geet."
"Ji."
"Tumse kuch maangoon dogi mujhe?"
"Jaan maang kar dekh lijiye who bhi dene mein nahi hichkachoongi." I said with all the love I had within me for him.
He shook his head and slid his hand across my waist and brought me closer to himself. I bent my head and snuggled comfortably into him resting my head on his shoulder.
"Geet tumhe nahi lagta ki ab humein ek naye mehmaan ki zaroorat hai apni zindagi mein."
I stood silently. I was not expecting this and I wasn't even prepared to handle more responsibility. I gathered my words before I finally spoke up again.
"Maan abhi nahi,. Abhi toh humari zindagi shuru hui hai, main abhi responsibility nahi chahti aur itni jaldi kya hai poori zinadgi padi hai humari aage'"
"Geet humari shaadi ko do saal ho chuke hain main bhi chahta hoon ki mujhe bhi koi papa bole."
"Maan main samajhti hoon, par ek do saal nahi, main is waqt jis project par kaa,m kar rahi hoon agar who successful ho gaya toh main apni company ki MD ho jaaongi.."
"Humare ghar mein paison ke kami thodi hai tum agar apni job chodna chaho toh bhi mujhe koi problem nahi hai,"
I lifted my head and came out of his hold.
"Main apni zindagi mein kuch karna chati hoon Maan main yeh kaam sirf isliye karti hoon, paison ke liye nahi'main jaanti hoon ke aapke paas bahut paise hain..par main bhi apna naam chahti hoon is duniya main,"
He was enraged and that was the first time since I had met him that he raised his voice at me.
"Tumhe sirf apne career ki padi hai meri feelings ki tumahre liye koi importance nahi hai..haina Geet."
"Yeh aap.."
"Rehno do geet," and he walked off from there. I stood on the balcony for sometime looking at him. He changed into his clothe and laid down on his side of the bed.
I went and lied down on my side but I coulnt sleep. I turned and saw that he was awake too staring into the night.
I shifted and went near him. I tried to move his hand but he didn't let me. I laid down there as close as I could, and drifted off to sleep with tears rolling down my eyes.
When I woke up in the morning I saw that I was in arms snuggled into his chest.
I thought that everything was alright again..
************************************Flashback ends****************************
our relationship was never the same again after that night. Every day few days there would be arguments between two of us. The result was always the same. We never succumbed to each other's demands.
But one day the argument became too fierce and he said to me..
********************Flash back******************
About six months back
Maan: "Geet tumhe koi farak nahi padta ki mujhe kya chahiye'tumahre liye sirf ek he cheez mayene rakhti hai aur who hai tumhara kaam aur naam..tumhe mera saath chahiye tha who tumhe mil gaya is se zayada na tumhare liye meri liye koi maine hain aur na kabhi honge'"
I stared at him dumbfounded. Did he never realize how much I loved him or what he meant to me.
That day he had hurt my love for him and my self respect and it was then that I had walked of the house leaving the house that I had loved more than anything else in the world.
********************************Flash back ends**********************************
I had grown used to not living without him. But I was not living a life, I was just leading a life. If to breathe was to live then I was very much alive but yes I was hollow, I had lost all happiness the day I had left him. I had got that project and was the MD but it didn't mean anything to me without him.
****************Flashback**************
1 month back
And then I had met him again at a party last month. He was as lost as I was and he seemed to be drinking a lot. I knew he was trying to forget the pain in his heart. I was in same pain. The pain that was more evident coz the party made me think about the first time we had danced together and his confession.
It was towards the end of the party that I had seen him drunk walking towards the exit. I couldn't let him drive that way. I walked up to him and in spite of his constant refusals and words of disgrace I shoved him into the car and drove us back home. I helped him to the room. He lied down immediately but he didn't let go of my hand. I sat down beside him and kissed his forehead. He looked at me with painful eyes and I was hurt too.I kissed him on the lips and that night we broke all barriers once again. It was his wild passion and pain that he filled me with time and again but I let him. I needed that too.
After months did I sleep cocooned in his arms. I got up around 8 to see him still sleeping holding me tight in his embrace. I got up, changed and hurried out of the house asap.
And today here I was to tell him that his wish was fulfilled. I didn't know if he would be able to forgive me. But I had gone home a number of times last month to ask for his forgiveness but he was too deeply hurt. He would never say anything rude but the love that I wanted was still missing in his eyes.
I entered the house only to find it decorated like the day I had got married. I was in tears. There was a party and he had not even informed me. I held no importance in his life anymore. I was about to walk out when I decided against it and went in. I walked to his room to see him beaming with joy.
I called out "Maan.." He turned and looked at me. He closed the distance between us and enveloped me into a bone crushing hug. I gave in. I was dying to have his arms around me like this. He said
"Geet aaj main bahut bahut khsuh hoon..pata hai meri company ko kitna pada contract mila hai.." I stiffened. He said meri'it was always humari till few days back. Had the things changed so much that he didn't even want to associate himself with me. My eyes were full of tears that threatened to fall any moment.
He left me and hurried out of the door calling behind "Jaldi tyaar hokar neeche aa jao..I am waiting.."
I was confused. But I didn't want to spoil his happiness and got ready in one of his favorite sarees.
When I reached down I was congratulated by everyone. I was confused. Before I could ask anyone anything the lights were dimmed and a cake was brought in. I was backing out when Maan called out to me.
"Geet mere saath cake nahi katogi..yeh kya baat hui..meri khushi tumhare bina kaise ho sakti hai.." I was elated and I walked to him. And when I saw the cake my face lit up and my eyes were filled with tears once again and this time I didn't stop them but let them fall. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I shook my head and hugged him. I didn't care if the 1000 guests were staring at me I had the right he was my husband and I was officially lawfully wedded wife and they were here to celebrate out third wedding anniversary.
I whispered "Appko yaad tha,"
Geet Mian khud ko bhool sakta hoon tumhe ya tumse judi koi baat nahi.." I was overwhelmed with his love and continued to be in his embrace.
"geet sab dekh rahein hain.."
I shook my head.
"Waise kaisa laga mera gift.."
I just kissed his heart where my lips were resting.
"Waise mere paas bhi aapke liye ek gift hai," I shied away into his arms.
He pulled me back and stared at me.
I went near to his ear and said "aapki wish poori ho gayi hai'"
He looked at me for a moment confused. To confirm his doubts I kept his hand on my stomach and nodded.
He smiled a smile that lit his eyes and kissed my forehead. We lived through the ordeal of the party but both of us were dying to be with each other.
As soon as the last of the guests had left he picked me in his arms and carried me to the arms. I tried protesting but it was of no use. He carried me to the bed and put me down gently. I hugged him and cried murmuring sorry every few seconds. He patted me and let me cry. Once my sobs had died down he pulled me out of his embrace and asked me how did it happen. I explained to him the events of that night. He laughed once I had finished.
"Kya hua.."
"Mujhe subah laga tha main raat ko sapna dekh raha tha..par ab pata laga who sapna kitna meetha tha.." I blushed red at this and looked down.
"Mishti.." he called out and before I could register anything he took my lips into a scorching kiss. His hands went around my back opening the dori of my blouse. He slipped it gently down my shoulders not leaving my lips even for a second. The moment my shoulders were bare he went down and planted kisses down my shoulder. He came up and bit the skin near my collar bone leaving the marks of his possession all over me. In a few moments he removed all the barriers of clothing between us and made me feel loved once again. He kissed my flat stomach up teem times but I never forbid him not to. He even bit and sucked the skin around my navel but made sure that he was not harsh upon my abdomen. My body reacted to his touches and he filled me with love and passion. It was late into the night when we finally fell asleep into each others arms knowing that tomorrow we would start a new life once again..
Muski here is the happy OS that i promised..
And reya and sana so here u are Haappy wala OS now am i lifted off that vampire tag..
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