Too Late
Her hand shook as she signed on the dotted line of the divorce papers in front of her. Her face was stained with the remnants of her mascara and eyeliner that had been washed away because of her tears. She got up to go wash her face, the pen still in her hand. Why? Why this? Why her? Why them?
Because you played around with somebody else's feelings and made him unhappy. So how can you expect to be happy for long?
She wanted the voice to shut up. Yet it wouldn't. Her deeds came back to haunt her every single second of the day...ever since she came to know the truth...
It's payback for your sins, Kiya Gujral, the voice mocked her and she threw the pen away in frustration as she burst into tears again and crumpled into a ball on the floor, sobbing.
What had she been thinking when she decided to have her revenge on KD for hurting her, or so she thought, the victim of another misunderstanding and refusing to think clearly?!
You were being plain malicious Kiya...you wanted your revenge...to hurt KD where you knew would hurt him the most...so you led him on...and then later when he proposed...turned him down cruelly...claiming to be in love with Ranveer...and then you married him...and here you are...six months later...
She tilted her head back, eyes closed, tears running down her cheeks, "It was a misunderstanding...I didn't know..."
You didn't want to know Kiya...you told him you'd hate him all your life when he tried to tell you that it was a misunderstanding...
She tried to stop her tears, to make the pain go away, but they wouldn't and her heart felt as if it had been blasted into smithereens.
Life had been smooth enough after that day. She'd married Ranveer. Their careers were soaring and they loved each other...or so they thought...
The chinks in their marriage had started to show themselves when Kiya finally got to know the truth about her having misunderstood KD. She couldn't get KD out of her head. She'd begun to hate both herself and Ranveer. Her career had crashed and so had his. She was fast falling into depression. People said she needed an asylum.
She was Kiya "Bitch" Gujral for the media now. She never knew how it all came out in the media, but KD never commented on it. He maintained a distance away from both her and Ranveer and any news related to them.
She had apologized publicly, and yet on being asked about it, KD had brushed it off with a, "No comments." Those words though small, had an effect huge enough. She broke then, and Ranveer couldn't stand being with her anymore, taking to drinking and she suspected him of cheating on her. Their arguments increased both in frequency and pitch, till about a month back they had decided to live separately and now she was divorcing him.
You wish you could turn back time, don't you, Kiya? You wish you could take back all that you did...then you'd still have KD with you...and you wouldn't have ended up spoiling both your life and Ranveer's...but you can't, Kiya. It's too late...
She buried her face in her hands, clutching desperately at her hair, trying to make the voice stop...to stop sounding as if it was KD saying all those hurtful words and laughing at her even more cruelly...
Too late...
***
"Your manager bailed you out, Mr. Shergil. You are free to go now."
He walked out of the police station, not caring about the eyes that stared at him and the voices that whispered, most probably about him. He was going to get into the driver's seat of his car, but his manager's voice telling him that he wasn't going to be allowed to drive made him slam the door and go sit on the seat beside.
He closed his eyes and leaned back as he recalled the nightmare that had been the previous few hours...
The hurt look on her face haunted him. It was her engagement party. The engagement party of Panchi Rastogi and Avijeet Roy...and he had ruined it, by gate crashing it. Avi had wanted to invite him, for old times' sake, but Panchi wouldn't have it. She hadn't even talked to him once after Kiya took her "revenge" on KD.
She had tried to tell him to not jump to conclusions, to think about what he was doing, to try and talk to Kiya and make her understand what the consequences would be if she went ahead with what she was planning...but to no avail. He had turned a blind eye to her and a deaf ear to her words.
And now...now everything was messed up. He was no longer with Kiya. He'd been sent the divorce papers having Kiya's signature on them just a day back...and he'd signed as well. His career was spiralling downwards instead of upwards...as his personal life was making the news more often than his professional one.
In his despair, he'd wanted to talk to Panchi...but after creating a spectacle at her party, she had had him escorted out, as she buried her face in Avi's chest, sobbing as he looked at him, pity reflected clearly in his eyes, and consoled his fianc.
He had no choice but to go to a bar and drown his sorrows in a bottle of beer. It was unfortunate that he had been too drunk to ignore some of the cruel remarks being passed about him, and ended up thrashing that person instead. It turned into a big fight with people joining in and someone had called the police then and he had been arrested for starting the fight.
Destroyed. His career was destroyed. His relationship was destroyed. His life was destroyed. He was destroyed...
If only he'd have listened to Panchi... If only he could go back to being at least just friends with Kiya...instead of acting like enemies...If only he could turn back time and undo all that he had done that had hurt people...If only he could get some normalcy back in his life...If only the pain would go away...If only...but it wasn't to be...It was too late...
A tear rolled down his cheek as he thought about the pain he gave and the pain he himself was going through now.
Too late...
***
Keshav Desai frowned as he read about Kiya and Ranveer getting a divorce. He wished he could go help them...but it was impossible...After what they had done...he couldn't even bear to look at them, let alone talk to them.
He had been broken; totally and completely. So he had decided, instead of wallowing in self pity, he'd immerse himself in his work. And that was exactly what he had done, and now here he was after those six months...a successful businessman.
"What are you frowning so much for, KD?"
The sound of her voice beside him made him turn his head to face her and he handed her the newspaper. She read it and then bit her lip.
"Do you...do you still...love her...KD?" She asked hesitantly. It had been so hard for her to get him to open up and to let go of his hatred for Kiya...or love...she hadn't been able to figure out what it quite was even after all that Kiya had done to him...She didn't want him to go back to being what he had been a few months back...
He said nothing for a few seconds, and then shook his head. "I've moved on...I've moved on, Juhi. I found you...and now I'm happy being with you. Happier than I could ever have been with her..."
She nodded and then added after a minute, hope evident in her voice, "You've forgiven her now, right? It must have been really hard on her...what with you brushing off her public apology so lightly..."
She expected an affirmation, or at least a nod of his head to indicate that yes, he had forgiven Kiya. It pained her to see someone suffering the way Kiya was...and Ranveer too...
...But he did nothing of that sort. Instead, he got up, and without even turning to look at her, he said, "I wish I could do that Juhi. I wish I could have been forgiving like you but I'm not. Try as I might, I cannot erase all that she did to me from my memory. Maybe...Maybe I haven't completely moved on...but it can't be helped. It's too late now..."
And she saw for the first time in a long while how broken the man she was in love with truly was, and his words echoed in her mind.
Too late...
...Absolute bullshit...I've wanted to write this since the longest time...February...I made a few changes, of course...
My hatred for YaRa, my love for ShavHi and my growing attraction towards ViChi...cannot be helped. I tried to not write this...even stopped ranting about YaRa...publicly at least...I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't rant...and I believe I stuck faithfully to it...
But its been a horribly disappointing week...and my sadistic side got the better of me...
I always did feel happy...hurting people with my words...I do feel guilty afterwards...Its like a cycle..hurt people...feel guilty...apologize...sigh...Why can't I be normal instead of being warped like this...?
Anyway, if this hurt anyone in any way...I apologize. I was at my limit...and when something starts spinning around in my head...I can't get it out until I type it out...
Those who knew about this...I weakened...I couldn't bring myself to go for a complete annihilation...
Whatever. While abuses would be very gladly welcomed...false accusations as to my reasons and motive behind it will NOT be tolerated. Kindly think before you comment in anger...
Indebted,
Mugs.
