PART 18
The whole night I kept looking at her, and dreaming about my future 'with her'. And morning came to my life when she opened her eyes. Firstly she was a bit uncomfortable while she got up, then suddenly she "Oh god, don't worry; you just wait here I will bring "nimbu pani' you will feel better after it; It may be just because of the drink you had last night"
I signed Tuffy to look after her, and opened the window to get out when she just hold my hand to stop me "Ryan, actually I am sorry for last night."
"Sorry for what?" I asked her.
She doesn't face my eyes and said "just, for what ever I have done, whatever I have said to you, I know I have exceeded my limits. But believe me I am not that kind of girl who..." I just placed my hand on the lips to stop her.
"I know this Shreya, and you need not to be sorry for anything. What ever has happened last night was too precious for me, and I really admire what ever you have said. You haven't crossed any of your limits, Trust me." She was sorry for everything but for me, that was the most beautiful day of my life, at least I get know what I mean for her.
"I really trust you Ryan, please don't ever betray me." She requested me.
I just smiled and shook my head, and went out to bring something for her.
We returned back to out hotel and left Goa in the afternoon.
I really noticed the change which has arise even in my choice, now I was liking her songs of 80s, all of them were seems to be for me only. She doesn't talked much in the way, may be she was uncomfortable for being so open with me. But later I engaged her in my chats and she became quite well.
Late at night we reached back to Mumbai. We stopped at the gate of the hostel.
"Ryan will you do a small favor for me?" she asked me.
"Favor, just order ma'am" o said.
"Wo actually, here we can't keep pet with us; could you please take care of tuffy for few days." She asked me.
"Sure isme bhi koi poochne ki baat hai, (I took tuffy in my hands from hers) so Mr. Tuffy get ready to go with me."
Tuffy just waved his tail which he usually does when he is happy for something.
Shreya kissed him, and then she looked at me, and smiled.
I was busy in thinking should I hug her? Big question if she has minded it. Hmmm I think a lot. But she also have an idea that I like her, and she has excepted that she likes me then why am I thinking a lot???
"Ryan wo…" she tried to say something but then stopped.
"Bolo" I asked her.
"Nothing, phir kabhi." She said and smiled.
"I will wait for your 'phir kabhi'" I said.
But she just said "good bye Ryan and thanks for such a nice trip."
"Good bye."
'Phir kabhi' I wish she has not said those words and would have said whatever she wished to say; surely I would have also told her my condition. But who knew that this phir kabhi will never come.
I reached to my place late night with tuffy, it seems I have got a member of my family here but still few are there to come.
And I want them to come as soon as possible, that night I just fell asleep as I was too tired, but in the morning only I got to my picture lab.
After a weak I was meeting Neel, his first query was the same which I was thinking; he asked me about the pictures for which I have taken Shreya with me.
I gave him the pictures of the whole trip.
"Amazing Ryan, she is looking even more beautiful in these pictures." He said while having a look.
"I don't think so; she is even more beautiful what she is there in these pictures."
I said, just because I can just capture her looks in my camera not her beauty.
I asked Neel about the apartments which I have told him to search for. He gave me some of the brochures of the newly build apartments and said "they are just the best once, and most suitable for you too."
"Thanks, just I have to see them; do one thing you see to everything in jhankaar I will be a little busy in this. Ok."
"Ok boss, I will see to everything you have your work done."
Neel was just suppose to leave but I stopped her "and yaa, one thing more; agar Shreya mere bare mai kuch pooche don't tell her anything. Just tell her I have some work."
"You don't worry Ryan, I will manage everything." He said and left.
I was unaware what Neel has interpreted from my words, and that was the biggest mistake of my life.
The whole day I spend in just looking out all the apartments, but it's always tough to finalize, but taking all the aspects and especially her choice I choose an apartment, the most prominent reason was that its location was just very near to my place.
The next day I spent out in doing all the formalities for it, running through the brokers to the owners. And in the evening when I checked my cell there were 55 missed calls, of which 32 was from Shreya, and rest from Neel, Parth, Ria and some unknown numbers too.
I tried to call Shreya from my side but her cell phone was switched off may be she must be busy in some meeting.
The third of Jan it was, I just developed that apartment fully with its interior.
And I was just giving it the final touch with tuffy.
I just placed all her pictures which I was having on the walls and really it was like I am in my heaven.
I was just asking her pictures weather they liked it or not, talking with then as if she is there with me; I was just behaving like an idiot stupid lover of Hindi cinema. But somehow it was like that only.
Her all pictures were fabulous, and that small apartment was just looking like heaven having them on his walls.
I hope she will lend me some of these pictures for my project also, ya that too I have to ask her for her pictures, that too today only. But I know my Shreya will never deny me.
She this guys how the time has changed I have started calling her 'my Shreya' and it really gives me a comfort feeling, mentioning her as mine.
I was practicing how I will offer this small gift to her.
But it was too hard to convince her for this; she even didn't let me pay off for her dress.
But finally I have decided what I have to say. I will say
'it's not for you Shreya, it's for the lady who call me as her son, it is for a would be doctor whom I treat just like my younger sister and most importantly it's for the girl with whom I want to live each and every moment of my life."
Oh god, I know what she will say to me but still why it happens that when you have to propose someone it became so tough, why your heart beat suddenly increase.
It was like I could dream my future with her, a day I will be here at this place with her, playing with her beautiful hairs, looking into her eyes, and can silently sleep down in her laps. I know my Shreya is quite bold but I am sure when I will propose her beautiful face will turn red, I am dying to see her. Ohh god.
But something was missing there, what? I should get something for her.
I was just thinking this when my cell rang, it was my mom,
"Hello" I said.
"Hello Ryan, extremely sorry honey, calling you so late but I was really too busy on 31st, belated happy birthday son."
"Thanks mom." I said for the first time, I really called her mom from my heart.
Today I was neither angry nor frustrated on her call, may be when you start loving your life these small things didn't matter.
"I have called you yesterday also, but you didn't pick up. Even I have called in your office too, but finally I get to talk to you. How was your day? Do you need anything?"
She asked me.
"Nothing mom, I am fine. But just a bit busy for now I will call you later. "
I disconnected the call, not for I didn't want to talk to her but I have got what I have to get for her.
I rushed to an antique jeweler's shop, who sells the most unique pieces as per my knowledge.
"Show me something, something totally different;" I said.
"Sir would you tell us some range." The jeweler asked me.
"Range, I just want the best one; don't think of the cost." I said.
He showed me a ring "Sir, see this, it's the blue diamond you will not get it so easily."
Blue diamond, shining in the same way as her eyes; and I was dying to see it in her hand.
I took the most precious stone of the store for the most valuable person of my life.
And I could just wish that she may like it.
I was just returning to my place when I got a call it was Neel.
"Hey Ryan where are you?"
"Just on road, anything important?" I asked him.
"Yes actually ek problem ho gayi hai." He said with a disturbed voice.
"Kaisi problem?" I asked him.
"First you just get back then I will call you, it's not that big one." He said.
"No Neel I am fine, please tell me first." I said.
"Actually, you were not taking Shreya's call so she asked me about you. I just said her that you are busy in some work." He said.
"Oh god, I was not ignoring her call it was just… but what's the problem there."
I asked him.
"I am saying na not a big problem, waise bhi apna kaam to ho hi gaya hai, and one day she has to know about it; infect its easy now, you won't have to give her any explanation. She will be out herself."
"Neel I don't know what are you saying, please saaf saaf bata kya hua hai?"
I my heart somewhere I know what he was talking about but still I wish that what I was thinking should not be the truth. My hands were shaking, and mouth became dry and my ears want to listen what my heart was waiting for but everything went contrary.
He told me something which took away the land away from my feet's. He told me…
When she asked about you, I just said what you have asked me to say but then I joined Ria in the cafeteria. She asked me "is there anything serious between Shreya and Ryan?"
I said "Shreya and Ryan are you joking? There is nothing like that."
But she again said "but I think so, they were for a trip together; Ryan use to give her lift every time."
It was just spontaneous that I told her "Trip? are yaar that was just because Ryan want's her pictures. You don't know this all was just a drama, to make her as a friend, to take her on a trip. Otherwise Ryan can't even bear her for a second. But I would say he is a great actor, maine khud wo pictures dekhi hai they are awesome.
And what do you think, why Ryan is not coming, why he is not taking her calls just because now his work his done. And now he wouldn't even look at her."
Ria said "but its not fair yaar, I don't think Ryan should have done this. And I can't imagine that Ryan will do it."
"What do you know about Ryan, I am working with him from last 6 years, and I know him very well. Roz uski life mai ek nayi ladki aati hai, it doesn't mean he is serious for them, he is just like air no one can bind him. He not even makes friends just because he is afraid of any kind of boundations. Aur phir Shreya, she was just his dream model, waise kabhi raazi nahi hoti so he took another way, there is nothing wrong in it; its fair business. And don't you remember, poore staff ke saamne us ne Ryan par haath uthaya tha, tumhe kya lagta hai wo use itni aasaani se chod deta?"
And it was a bad luck that Shreya heard all this conversation between us.
When I noticed her, I tried to explain her but she doesn't stay there even for a second.
I don't know what to say but just it's not that big problem. After all one day this has to happen, and may be this way only but you don't worry she won't be able to harm you in any way; you haven't done any crime….
He says I have not done any crime, I have won the game, but he doesn't know that what I have lost in this game. A dream which my heart was weaving, just took there way out through my eyes.
But still I tried to control myself, I will explain her everything, and I am sure she will understand me. I hope she will.
"Ryan, are you there?" he spoke and took me back in reality.
"Ya, is Shreya there around?" I asked him.
"No. She just left at that moment only, you don't worry every thing will be fine." He said.
But he doesn't know what has happened in my life. And now I just want to meet her, before she fills her mind with anything wrong, I can't let her go on any cost.
How life turns it way, I just have a small dream and today I have accomplished it, my dream project was ready but still I was not happy, instead I want something else something more important for my life, for which I can let go any of my desire. But this time I was feeling like a looser, a fear of loosing her was engaging my mind, my soul and I even don't know how to cope up with a relation, I have got it for the first time.
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