Chapter 78
His eyes were red... though only few tears had escaped... his pain was evident... but the reason to her wasnt...and this sight in front of her...tore her heart apart...why was he crying...
"Kunj!" She tried wiping those tears... as he turned to look up to her.. he saw in her brown eyes... her forehead was cringed... she was woried... for him... and thats when he knew he could share his pain with her...
She was getting restless...wanted to wash away the reasons which made him cry...
"Twinkle life bhi kitni ajeeb hai na..."
She looked confused...
"Ha Kunj par... usme kuch log hote hai jo... bina kisi shart k humara sath dete hai... aur chahe kitni bhi badi problem ya dard kyu na ho...unki vajah se sab mit ho jata hai..." she tried reasoning still not knowing the reason for his pain...
"Kitni jaldi time nikal jata hai pata hi nahi chalta... abhi kal hi mein... Maa k god mein baith k Shiv Ratri ki puja mandir mein kar raha tha aur aaj... mein akela hu..."
It pained her... he still thought he was alone... inspite of her actions which screamed... how much imp he held in her life... how much she depended on him... he felt he was alone..when she here thought that he was the only one her own..she wanted to clear his doubt
"Kunj tum akele nahi ho. mein hu tumahre sath..humesha..chahe kuch bhi ho.. I m right here...mein tumhari patni hu Kunj"
She said carressing his head...he smiled..
"Twinkle tumhe pata hai.. mein chota tha tab bohot shaitaan tha.. bohot pareshan karta tha.. sabko.. isliye muje badima ne.. aur bade papa ne... boarding school bhej diya... Maa k sath bhi bohot badmashi karta tha par vo kabhi kuch nhi bolti thi... sirf pyar karti thi... aur papa... vo meri har khwaish puri karte the... mere mangne se pehle hi sab hazir ho jata tha... tumhe pata hai mein 5 saal ka tha... tab muje gear vali cycle chachiye thi... mein toa itna chota tha ki... uski seat tak mera sar nhi pohochta tha.. fir bhi papa le aye the... aur Maa ne unko bohot danta tha..."he chuckled remembering...
"Twinkle sab kehte hai... ki papa... bhot hi ayaaish the... unke bohot affairs the... par mene unka pyar hi dekha tha.. vo Maa se kabhi zagadte nahi the... shayad mere samne nahi zagadte honge.."he sighed...
"Par unke jaane k bad... jab log muje taana marte the muje kuch samaj hi nahi ata tha... ki kya bol rahe hai ye log... aur mere bartaav ki vajah se muje shimla bhej diya...you know.. jab mein school khatam karke aya.. tab muje Anand bhaiya ne bataya tha.. ki muje Boarding school isliye bheja tha kyuki... mein manhoos tha.. mujje kisi jyotish ne manhoos kaha tha.. aur.. shayad ye sach bhi hai... meri jane k bad badepapa ka business badh gaya.. aur ab jab do teen saal pehle aya.. toa fir se sab khatam hone laga..."
She was now welled up too... listening.. his pain..
"Nahi Kunj.. aisa kuch nhi hota.. tum hi toa kehte ho na ki tum aisi bato mein nahi mante .. toa fir.. khud ko aisa kyu bol rahe ho.."
"Nahi Twinkle.. kahi na kahi.. Maa aur Papa bhi meri vajah se.. ye duniya chhod k chale gaye..."
She looked confused...
"Meri zid ki vajah se.. us din Maa muje samjati rahi ki... baarish bohot hai.. bahar nahi jaa sakte... fir bhi me nahi maana... muje jaana tha ghumne... Maa Papa aur mein.. jab raat ko vapas aa rhe the.. tab..."
His face was now drenched...
"Muje toa kuch yad bhi nahi..bas.. aisa yad hai.. ki Maa cheekh rahi thi Papa ko sambhalne k liye...achanak.. bohot saari roshni mujpar ayi... kuch dikhayi nhi de rha tha.. aur.. fir.. Maa ne muje piche ki seat par...rakh diya..fir ...kaanch k tutne ki awaz...jaise diwali mein patake fatte hai vaisi awaz... aur.. Maa ka hath mere hath mein tha..unke sar se khoon nikal raha tha..aur muje dekh k smile kar rhi thi.. shayad soch rhi hongi ki me thik hu..aur Papa toa kuch bol hi nhi rahe the..."
Twinkle... could not imagine... that his parents death happened so tragically... so much pain he was carrying in his heart... he was so small... and he had witnessed his parents die in front of him... and worse... he felt it was becoz of him...
"Mein jab utha.. toa.. ghar pe sab ro rahe the.. bebe muje chhod hi nahi rahi thi... mene Maa aur Papa ki photo par haar dekhe .. muje sab batane lage ki.. Maa aur Papa kahi chale gaye hai.. mein rota tha ki vo akele ghumne chale gaye... aur muje saath nahi le gaye... jab vo bohot time tak vapas nahi aye... bebe se kehta tha.. ki unko vapasBula lo... mein kabhi zidd nahi karunga... kabhi pareshan nahi karunga... kisiko... par vo aye hi nahi kabhi..."
She couldnt hold it...she was not ready for witnessing this past of his...she thought she was going through more pain listening,to it...,than him...
"Fir.. papa k affairs ki baat bahar ayi... log papa ki property claim karne pe lag gaye... muje school mein sab chidhane lage.. koi bhi function mein mujko... taana marte the... bebe aur Tauji the tab tak toa vo muje sambhal lete the... par.. mujse bardaasht nhi hota tha... bohot gussa ata tha... bhot gussa... aur meri... harkato ki vajah se muje.. dur bhej diya...ghar..se.. mein sirf 9 saal ka tha...Twinkle...Bebe aur Tauji hi the... vo bhi nahi the ab.."
"Par muje shimla mein... koi chidhata nahi tha... koi puchta nahi tha... ki mein kaha se aya hu... mere kuch dost bhi ban gaye.. jaise bada hua muje laga ki jo hua... vo mere bhale k liye hi tha... tumhe pata hai.. mene gusse mein ek senior ko itna mara tha ki use hospital jana pada tha... "he chuckled between tears .. remembering his bitter sweet school life...
"...vapas aya fir se meri school mein success ki vajah se bade papa aur badima ko acha nahi laga toa fir se taane shuru ho gaye..tmko pata hai...meine kbhi koi gf kyu nahi rakhi... taaki.. muje koi apne papa ki tarah nhi samje... mene kbhi unko us nazar se dekha hi nahi .. papa toa.. mere liye jab tak the.. mere hero the.. unki jo bhi life rahi ho... uska saaya unhone aur maa ne mujpar nahi padne diya... Alisha bhi... naam ki gf thi... badima k kehne par ... unko shaadi karani thi isliye... par sahi vaqt par muje uska asli chehra dikh gaya..."
"Kunj par tum apne aap ko.. kyu.. zimmedaar mante ho... jo kuch bhi hua usme tumhari galti nahi thi"
"Twinkle... muje bebe ne.. Cherry bhaiya ne.. sabne bohot baar samjaya... hai... practically proofs bhi diye hai.. ki truck driver nashe mein tha aur uski vajah se ... accidant hua... par... ek 6 saal k bache ko.. kaise samjaogi tum... haaan... usko toa yahi lagta raha na.. bada hote hote ki... agar usne us din zid nahi ki hoti toa... vo aur uske maa baap ghar se bahar jate hi nahi... usko toa yahi lagega na... uski ek zid ki vajah se... uski zindagi palat gayi..."
He said.. calmly but his voice was broken...
"Kunj.. par tumhe kabhi na kabhi.. toa.. is boj ko.. is dard ko halka karna hoga na.. aage badhna hoga na.."
"Twinkle.. muje aaj bhi vo... flash light yad hai.. jo meri ankho par padi thi... kuch dikhai nhi de raha tha...muje aj bhi yad ata hai.. kaise.. Maa ne.. muje.. piche karke.. khud age ho gyi taaki muje kuch na ho jaye.. maa ne jab aakhri bar muje dekha tha haste hue.. muje tab pata bhi nhi tha ki akhri baar dekh rhi thi muje... ye bhi nahi pata tha ki marna kya hota hai...Muje aaj bhi.. yad hai kaise Maa muje samja rahi thi.. ki bahar jana sahi nahi hai baarish hai.. aur muje aaj bhi yad hai.. aur Papa..ne Maa ko manaya tha.. kyuki vo meri koi bhi wish taaalte nahi the...kabhi kabhi lagta hai.. ki ye sab meri vajah se hua.. isliye unki jagah muje...
She placed her hands.. over his lips... glaring at him... knowing exactly what he was about to say... here she had started to make him understand how imp he was to her.. and he was talking about him being taken away...
"Kunj Sarna... agar tumne kabhi bhi aisi... bat ki toa mujse bura koi nahi hoga.. samje.."
"Kunj tum sirf 6 saal k the... naadaan the.. tum socho Mummyji aur Papa... tumko dekh rahe honge ... vo jaha bhi ho... unko kaisa lagta hoga... ki unka beta.. khud ko.. blame krke... itne saalo se dard mein hai... unhone jo kurbaani di tumhare liye.. uska toa fir koi matlab hi nahi raha..."
He watched her.. face.. angry.. becoz.. of his words... and her words... soothed him.. making him explain.. that his parents would.. be in more pain seeing him...
He just kept mum... and looked.. at the ceiling...
She was hurting inside.. listening... his past.. it was so heartbreaking... to know that some1 you care for is in pain but you cant do anything about it coz its in the past.. you cant go back and change.. it... you need to accept it and.. move ahead... and he was holding it... for so long.. more than a decade... she felt closer to him... than now.. he had shared so personal things about him... to her.. though it was an effect of bhang she dint care... but now she knew.. her husband better...
"Twinkle tumhe.. pata hai.. badepapa bhale hi mere bare mein jo bhi soche.. par.. unke decisions mere liye humesha hi bohot hi sahi rahe hai."he said still looking at the ceiling...
She Listening at what he had to say.. bade papa was always plotting and planning... speaking ill about him...
"Jaise.. muje boarding school bheja... muje pehle bohot taklif hui thi... par.. vaha 7,8 saal rehke... meri life change ho gayi for the better... mein ghar se.. apni pehchan se dur raha.. dost banaye .. kitna kuch sikha.. jo shayad mein yaha.. rehke kabhi nhi sikh pata..."
"Muje pilot banna tha.. isliye.. mein Mechanical karne vala tha.. par bade papa ne jaan buch k... muje civil me daal diya diya..aur muje civil mein itna interst aa gaya... ki koi afsos nahi raha.."
"Badi ma ko pasand nahi tha mein ghar mein rahu.. isliye.. muje dur rakhne ki shart rakhi.. jiske badle mein vo mujko.. kuch bhi dene k liye tayar the.. mene tumko bataya na.. ki anand bhaiya ne bataya tha ki kisi jyotish ne kaha tha.. ki mein ghar se dur rahu... aur bade papa bohot mante the.. is sab mein...toa mene.. exams k liye prepare kiya.. Harvard mein admission liya.. n ghar se dur rehne k badle.. vaha ki fees mangi.. jo mere pas thi nahi.. kyuki meri school aur college mein.. Maa aur papa k insurance... k sare paise chale gaye the...bebe aur chery bhaiya nahi the,,aur business bhi band pada tha...toa unse ye manga..n harvard chala gaya..."
He was talking normally now.. remembering those good memories which shaped his life.. and made him the man he is today...
She was so lost in admiring him... she bent over and kissed his forehead...he was taken aback by the gesture... and now looked in her eyes.. which were smiling...
"Aur sabse.. bada decsion pata hai.."
He asked now looking at her...she narrowed her eyes.. as what was left still that his bade papa had done unknowingly for him..
"Tumahre sath shaadi..."and they both chuckled...
"Oh.. toa tumko lagta hai.. ki tumhari life ka sahi devision.. tha ye shaadi.. haan"she asked teasing him..
"Dekhte hai...puri zindagi baaki hai.. abhi toa.. "she hit him on his chest.. he laughed... looking at her expressions from her lap... she was cute...
...he got up and now was sitting beside her taking support of the headboard .. this bhang had taken a ride over him.. making him feel weird emotions... "tumko pata hai Twinkle...mujse zyda bade papa excited the is shaadi ko karane k liye.." she laughed... he said.. smiling
She shifted closer to him.. and rested her head.. on his shoulder.. he placed his hand.. around her... sitting and wondering about how their fate had turned out...tangling their life to result into perfection... bringing peace...
A silent peace... before the storms that were yet to come...
Book Talk
Anupamaa
